Chapter 6: The Betrayal
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I burn inside for you, but I destroy the things that surround you. You dare not approach me, but you cannot run from me. I am inside you now. We have become one. Hold me…and watch your hands catch fire…
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It was a relief to have left the battlefield…to kneel quietly and taste the blood in his mouth and thank all of the stars in the sky that the Ryoka boy had proven himself stronger. He thought back to Shihoin Yoruichi's words on the bridge, her promise to make Ichigo stronger than him. And just as she had promised, Ichigo had, in the end, shattered Senbonzakura…leaving Byakuya bloodied and beaten.
But Ichigo had definitely paid for the privilege…
And now, none could say that he had done anything less than his duty. He had put aside his feelings and served his clan…had kept his promise to his parents. He couldn't claim a full victory, because he had not, in fact, been able to keep his promise to Hisana to protect her younger sister…but then, Ichigo had taken care of that obligation. He knew he owed the youth something for that. But there would be time for paying debts later. For now, Byakuya knelt calmly in the brush, letting his reiatsu restore itself. It was still a ways to the fourth division and he was weary.
He paused to give thought to what he would do now.
Renji and Rukia would be considered fugitives, but unless Soutaicho directly ordered him to do so, he would not pursue either. Rukia, he would not pursue, because he had already lost his right to do so. And Renji…Renji, he would not pursue because, in truth, he was grateful…grateful to this one who was more like a brother to her than he would ever be. Renji was the body that was able to do what Byakuya wished he could. He wished he could have rescued his sister…and carried her away from Soukyoku Hill. He wished he could have fled the Seireitei and found a place to keep her safe and well until the trouble was over.
But his hands were tied at every turn, it seemed. And strong as he was, he was never, it seemed, allowed to use that strength to protect what he held dear. Instead, he protected something called peace, which was kept in place by adherence to laws. The only problem was…a set of laws was only as good and useful as the ones who enforced it. Adherence to laws depended on the morals of the ones in power. And although many holding power currently were people of good character, many were not. And that meant that the laws were being applied imperfectly…which went against what he believed.
That brought the question down to what he was really protecting. In a way, he was protecting what he believed was important…but with the system corrupted, his protection was being misused to benefit those who did not share his values. And so he was protecting a corrupted system and leaving unprotected, the people he cared about, people like Rukia and Renji, who were the victims of the misuse of justice. He knew well enough that even if he did not pursue Rukia, Central 46 would…and now they would pursue his fukutaicho as well. There seemed to be no way out.
He sighed softly, his reiatsu restored enough to continue walking, but his heart, as always, too deeply conflicted. So, he remained where he was, the afternoon sun heating the half-dead brush all around and his heart as dry and beaten as their shriveled leaves and branches.
He had almost decided to continue on to the fourth division when he felt a hot wind cross the trail…a rise in reiatsu that seemed oddly familiar. He looked over his shoulder, back in the direction of Soukyoku Hill, feeling something stir inside. He wasn't sure what it was, but something seemed amiss. Bereft of sword and not yet even half restored, he should have left it to others to investigate, but as he stood, scenting the power on the breeze, he recognized Rukia and Renji's reiatsu…and the presence of three taicho levels.
He closed his eyes against the realization…
So…they must have been captured…but…why return them to the stand? The stand was destroyed. Did they plan to use another form of execution? Did they not plan to pursue judgment of the two in a lawful fashion before executing them? And if justice had broken down, and the law was not being applied properly…he had an obligation to do something.
Byakuya turned and flash stepped in the direction of the stand. He hurried back along the trail he had taken, sensing more as he closed in on the ones at the top of the hill. Multiple taichos were arriving. The very fact of that hastened his feet. He reached a covered area near the stand and slid to a stop, his eyes widening…and his heart breaking into pieces.
He is alive…
His death was a lie…
But what…?
Blood exploded around him and he felt the decline of Ichigo's reiatsu…of Renji's …and he moved closer. He could hear the words now…softly spoken words in a deceptively gentle voice that had lulled him into complacency as a youth and cost him his innocence…that had taken away his ability to create an heir with any but this one and had left Hisana and him childless. It was a voice he had thought stilled by murder…but it now rose up and calmly explained how he had lied to everyone…how he had murdered the councilors of Central 46…and used Rukia…and used him. Every bit of his coldness was delivered with warm sarcasm and disdain. And suddenly, Byakuya felt weaker than when Senbonzakura had shattered in his hand…
Because this one he had given himself to was anything but what he seemed. He hated the system of rule and held himself above it and the ones who supported it. He was heartless and cruel, willing to use anyone to achieve what he wanted. He had used Rukia cruelly. And Byakuya was certain that he knew why. Aizen hated the system of government, which placed the noble clans above others…and the Kuchiki clan was the most powerful clan. He was the clan leader…and up until very recently, Aizen had been convinced that Byakuya thought himself above others…that he had rejected the man's advances, because Aizen was not noble class. Only recently had they aired their differences and found resolve…but judging by the complexity of the plan he was describing, he discovered this too late. Rukia was already sentenced to death…and all plans were in place for the betrayal. So when he had faked his death and found Byakuya in torment over him, he had been surprised. Too late, he realized that he had misjudged Byakuya. But the wheels were turning…and he was standing there now, holding Rukia by the throat, in calm, cold words, ordering Gin to kill her.
She was not going to die because of any crime…and in fact, had committed no real crime at all. She had only been his pawn, one he chose to discard, now that her usefulness was done. But Rukia was his sister, one he was sworn to protect…and freed of the obligation to seek her capture and execution, it was his duty to act in the way he had wanted to from the start. It was odd, he thought, that Ichigo's refusal to adhere to the law…and now Aizen's treachery…cleared his sister of any remaining guilt…and freed him to come to her rescue. There was, he thought, some sense in all of the chaos. And there was a gift, even in Aizen Sousuke's betrayal.
His feet could move again. His power flared around him. Bereft of zanpakuto and the better part of his strength, he threw his heart into brutally fast flash steps that burned his very skin with their ferocity. He felt the strain on his power centers, felt them burn as hotly as his flesh. He cast himself forward, his hands capturing and pulling free what belonged to him, his body thrown between her and the incoming blade that sought to take her. He felt his feet touch the ground and closed his eyes against what was happening. Gin's weapon found his chest and plunged inside. He felt the hard shock, the violation of flesh…blood…and heart, and his knees weakened.
He was still standing…
Aizen Sousuke was staring with a look of disbelief in his eyes…
Then the weapon was torn free and Byakuya dropped to his knees, still holding Rukia tightly. He stared into the calm brown eyes he had thought he knew. There was nothing in them now, but death…and it closed in on Rukia and him as Aizen stepped closer, laying a hand on his sword. Byakuya saw something like regret in his eyes…then something started to happen around them. He tried to see, but he was too far gone. He collapsed against Rukia and the world around him grew hazy and dull. He moved in and out of consciousness, rising up long enough to sense Aizen's leaving, long enough to yield Rukia a truth he had promised never to speak…long enough to lift the last bit of weight from his heart and sigh, knowing she was safe, then he gave himself over to the darkness. He didn't want to think about what came next.
But all too soon, it seemed, life began to flow again in his veins. Despite how torn his heart was, it had not died, and against all logic, continued to beat beneath his ruined breast, each pulse sending pain firing through him. He released a groan and felt healing hands touch him, making the pain disappear and his mind spin away again. He was grateful for the fact that the fog around his mind kept him from feeling the full weight of his failures…of his naivety…his outright stupidity.
Aizen Sousuke had completely taken him in…and used him…used Rukia. Then he had betrayed everyone and discarded them like scattered leaves. And it wasn't as though he could claim innocence…or that he had never been warned. Ginrei had told him, more than once, to stay away from Aizen. Byakuya hadn't openly questioned it, but at the time had obeyed out of respect for his grandfather. He hadn't understood at all what made the soft spoken Aizen taicho so dangerous. He had never in his life met a truly wicked person.
And he still wondered…
Was Aizen truly wicked inside? Did he truly harbor so much hatred? And did he still hate Byakuya for spurning him…for refusing him…before? He hadn't felt the hatred in the body that had joined with his…
He stopped himself…
Aizen hadn't been murdered. He hadn't been dead at all. And he had followed him to the hotel in Karakura Town and made love to him…then left again, without telling him anything. Aizen had callously allowed his heart to be shattered and had done nothing to mitigate the damage.
Why?
Byakuya's mind froze as he realized something more. He had opened his heart to what he thought was Aizen's ghost. But Aizen was really there. And Byakuya had revealed himself in his entirety, throwing off all of his restraints and acting in full rebellion, because he thought all was lost. And Aizen had said he offered hope. At the time, he had thought he understood that. Now he wondered…
Why?
It didn't matter really. Aizen was gone to Hueco Mundo and Byakuya would likely never see him alive again. Either he would destroy everything or (more likely) he would be destroyed and Byakuya would never have to look on him again.
There was only one little catch…
Byakuya had opened his heart while they were together. If Aizen had, too…
He stopped and laughed at himself. Aizen didn't have a heart. Hadn't he proven that? And when they were together in the hotel, it was just so he could use Byakuya while he was vulnerable. He had always come after him while he was vulnerable…first, due to his young age…then to the departure of Ginrei…then again, when he was drunk…and again when he despaired over Aizen, himself.
Why?
Why had Aizen used him so cruelly?
Why had he fallen for it?
Why?
"Nii-sama?"
No…
"Nii-sama, wake up…"
You can't be here…
"I'm here for you, Nii-sama. Renji and I are both here."
Please…go…
"Everyone is worried about you. You've had so many people who wanted to visit you. But we can't let them in until you're better. Nii-sama, I need you to wake up. We need to talk…"
I can't look you in the eyes.
"You don't have to say anything, but I need to tell you I love you and to have you hear me."
I do not deserve your love…
"It's over now. All of the bad things are over."
They are not as 'over' as you think…
"We can be a family now."
I have no family. I have dishonored my clan with my disobedience. I have dishonored you by fouling my mind and body and heart with the one who tried to hurt you…to kill you…
"I need you to forgive me, Nii-sama."
What?
"I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. I understand now why you acted as you did…and I'm sorry that it hurt you to see my sister every time you looked at me. I'm sorry you felt obligated to find me…that you had to break the rules to bring me into the family…"
Don't blame yourself. I chose to bear that burden for Hisana…and I would do it all again…only I would do better by you.
"I feel lucky to have you as my brother."
I have been no brother to you…
"I want you to come back so that we can make things better between us."
Don't you understand? I don't deserve that! I gave myself to the man who almost killed you!
"I want to let go of the past, Nii-sama. I want us to have a new start…a better one. Please."
Is that even possible?
"Nii-sama, I love you…"
Would you still love me if you knew?
But he already knew the answer. Rukia would forgive him, even knowing about Aizen. But he couldn't confess that to her. He knew he would never be able to say the words. And so he resolved that when he was able to wake…to speak to her. He wouldn't tell her about Aizen, but he would make things right. They would go on. And Aizen would be left behind them…slowly forgotten.
It was what they both wanted, wasn't it?
But even as he found the strength to lace his fingers together with Rukia's and squeeze her hand lightly, he had to wonder. Would it be possible to leave it all behind?
Would it?
He wondered as the time went on and the hours passed. He wondered as Rukia fell silent…as her head dropped down to rest beside his on his pillow. He wondered as Renji continued to sit quietly in the doorway, whittling away absently at a piece of wood and stealing glances at Rukia and him. He wondered as the moon rose into the sky outside the fourth division, full and blue and lovely. And he was still wondering when the sun rose again…when Rukia's head lifted off his pillow…and the weight seemed to lift from his body.
He was calm inside again. He had found his center. And so centered, he would move forward. He would forget Aizen Sousuke and cling to the beautiful things around him. And with Rukia and Renji hovering so near, he didn't have to be alone anymore.
But even as he met Rukia's eyes and yielded her a small smile, doubt nagged at him from a place somewhere deep inside. There was something inside that told him that he hadn't seen the last of Aizen Sousuke…that he would see the man again, all too soon.
He pushed the doubts aside and sat up slowly, sipping at his tea and admiring the sunshine and flowers outside his window.
It didn't matter…
It was over…
There was no more need to question…
Why?
