Chapter 9: The Promise

(An update for Dalia. You truly inspire me. Love, Spunky)

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I am on my knees…please don't make me say the words. If I pray hard enough, will you disappear? If I scream loud enough, will it bring me peace? I am lost and falling. Do not catch me…

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Renji came suddenly out of a deep sleep, waking to the sound of a pained groan. He turned his head and found Byakuya sitting up in the bed and leaning forward, his hand on his lower abdomen and sweat rising on his face.

"Taicho? Taicho, what's wrong?"

Byakuya shook his head briefly, but shifted, so that he leaned heavily against the stunned redhead. Renji carefully opened his yukata and eased him onto his back. Byakuya took slow, shallow breaths and closed his eyes. Renji sent healing energy into the area, but a moment later, drew back in surprise.

"Taicho…something is odd here. There is strange reiatsu inside you…here. Could it have been from the hollow attack? That black creature attacked your shielding. Could it have…done something to you?"

"I don't know," the noble said, appearing to regain his composure, but still looking unnaturally pale, "There is pain all through that area."

"I'm going to take you back to the healing center," Renji said, starting to rise, "You shouldn't have pain like that…"

Byakuya shook his head.

"No…no, I'll be fine. I just want to lie here for a while."

He turned onto his side and curled around a pillow. Renji settled down behind him and wrapped his body around the noble's, placing a hand over where he had sensed the odd reiatsu. He continued to flow healing energy into the area and to hold Byakuya against him. They remained that way for several minutes before Byakuya gave a sigh and relaxed into Renji's embrace. He curled a hand around Renji's where it still remained on his midsection.

"Arigato, Abarai," he said softly, "It does feel better now."

"See if you can sleep some, Taicho," Renji said gently, "I'll stay here with you…if that's okay."

Byakuya nodded.

"Again, Arigato. I feel better knowing you are here."

He turned in Renji's arms so that his head rested lightly on the redhead's shoulder and one hand was placed on his chest.

"I'm just sorry we got interrupted," Renji whispered, kissing the noble softly on the top of his head, "I liked sleeping next to you."

"I enjoyed it too," Byakuya breathed warmly against his chest, "And when I've recovered from this, we will continue in that direction…I hope."

Renji chuckled.

"If I have anything to say about it, we will."

He started to say more, but Byakuya winced and took a sharp breath, clutching at his midsection again. Renji frowned, worriedly.

"Taicho…really, I think you need a healer. I can send for Hanataro…"

Byakuya started to reply, but let out a pained hiss and closed his eyes. Renji shook his head and climbed out of bed.

"No more arguments," he said calmly in the distressed taicho's ear, "We're going to the healing center. Can you walk or should I carry you?"

"Unhand me," the noble snapped, "I can manage."

He worked his way to his feet and waited as Renji tied the belt on his yukata. He leaned against the redhead and allowed himself to be helped out of the room and into the darkened street. They walked the short distance to the fourth division and were directed to an examination room. After a few minutes, Hanataro entered the room.

"Kuchiki taicho, how can I help you?" he asked quickly.

"He's having abdominal pains," Renji offered.

"Abarai, I can speak for myself," the noble informed his fukutaicho.

He turned to Hanataro, wincing as his abdomen twinged again.

"I…have been having pain for the last half hour," Byakuya told the healer.

"Please lie down and I will examine you," Hanataro said.

Byakuya lowered himself onto his back and waited as Hanataro opened his yukata and began to send his reiatsu into the noble's abdomen. Immediately, a confused frown played over the healer's face and he explored the area around the pain carefully. He finished the examination and looked up at Byakuya.

"Excuse me for a moment, Kuchiki taicho," he said, turning towards the door, "I will be right back."

The noble and the redhead followed with their eyes as he left the room.

"What do you think that's about?" Renji asked.

Byakuya shrugged and shook his head.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A bit, perhaps," the noble answered softly, closing his eyes.

They fell into an anxious silence as they continued to wait. Several minutes later, the door opened and Hanataro returned, followed by Unohana taicho. Unohana smiled warmly.

"Kuchiki taicho, I understand you are having abdominal pain?" she said, leaning over him and examining him briefly. She sent her reiatsu into the area and let it radiate in his body for several minutes, then glanced up at him questioningly.

"Did that relieve the pain?"

Byakuya nodded.

"I believe I can tell you what is causing this, but before I do, I need to know…Are you comfortable with Abarai fukutaicho being present for this?"

Byakuya frowned and looked up at her.

"Renji is my fukutaicho and my friend. You may speak freely in his presence," he said, looking unnerved.

"Very well," the healer said, nodding, "Hanataro and I have both done a general examination and have come to the same conclusion. It seems, Kuchiki taicho, that you have become pregnant."

Byakuya's eyes widened and he caught his breath in realization.

"What?" Renji said, disbelievingly, "How is that possible?"

"It is the Seirei-Joumae," Byakuya explained.

"The…what?" Renji asked, stunned.

"The Seirei-Joumae…a spirit lock that forms between some Kuchiki nobles and their male lovers. It only occurs through the mutual opening of hearts during lovemaking…and a noble born may only form this connection with one other in his lifetime. It is not controlled by one's will, but happens on its own."

"So likely when the two of you were together, this spirit lock formed and your child was conceived," Unohana said, prompting a surprised look on Renji's part.

Byakuya touched the redhead's hand lightly and glanced at him warningly. Renji closed his wide-open mouth and fell silent.

"So…judging by your reactions, you are somewhat surprised. Do you need a moment to talk or shall we continue?"

Byakuya glanced at Renji.

"You may continue."

"It seems that this child was conceived about a month ago. Have you been having any symptoms? Any nausea, dizziness, power flares, cravings, fatigue or losses of consciousness?"

Byakuya sighed and nodded.

"I have had nausea, dizziness, fatigue…"

"And a craving for brownies, even though he doesn't like sweets," added Renji, "Oh…and ginger tea."

Unohana taicho laughed congenially.

"The ginger tea is likely a good thing to soothe the upset stomach. Peppermint also might help."

"So…what's going to happen? Will his stomach get big? How will the baby be born?" Renji asked excitedly.

"Renji, slow down," Byakuya said calmly, "Give her a moment to catch up with that barrage of questions."

"S-sorry Taicho. It's just that…well…it's so…unexpected! I can't help myself…"

"Maybe we should have a moment," Byakuya suggested.

Unohana nodded briefly and she and Hanataro left the room. Renji turned back to Byakuya.

"This is good, isn't it, Taicho? I mean, your clan…aren't they always bugging you to have a baby?"

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, "You and I know that this child is not yours. We have never been together."

Renji frowned.

"I know that. I wasn't deluding myself, but it doesn't really matter, does it? You said that your lover left you and wasn't planning on coming back…and you weren't going to go to him. Taicho…does this mean that you've changed your mind?" the redhead asked solemnly.

Byakuya blinked.

"You mean…it doesn't matter to you who fathered the child?" he asked, sounding surprised.

Renji shrugged.

"Why should it?" he asked, "Taicho, you said he is gone and not coming back. I understand that you had this spirit lock with him and that you wouldn't be able to have a child with anyone else…but I was born in the Rukongai. Our families there were kind of thrown together based on survival. Many who were not blood related called each other family."

"And it doesn't bother you that if you and I began to see each other…that you would have to look at this reminder of the other person I was with?"

Renji smiled and shook his head.

"He hurt you, Taicho," the redhead said, his eyes softening, "but this baby is innocent. He or she has never hurt anyone. And, hey, it's not like I expected we would be able to have kids…it's just a really cool surprise."

"Then…even now…you want to…continue to see me?" Byakuya asked quietly.

Renji smiled, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Of course I want to continue seeing you, Taicho!" he said excitedly.

"You…realize that he may return…if he hears about the child, Renji."

The redhead smiled warmly.

"Then I'll kick his ass and send him packing," he offered.

He gazed into Byakuya's eyes for a moment, then sobered.

"Unless…you think that you might want to go back to him?"

Byakuya's eyes grew shadowed.

"No…" he said softly, "I cannot go back to him…not even if he returns. And he won't."

"You sound pretty sure."

"I am."

"Taicho…I have one more question. Why didn't you seem to want Unohana taicho to know that I am not the father?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"No one can know the identity of this child's father, Renji. I don't want anyone to know. I…am having difficulty accepting just how much of a fool he made of me. I would face…a great deal of embarrassment and criticism if his identity came to light. He is out of my life. I don't want him to come back."

"So you want me to claim to be the father?" Renji asked.

"No," Byakuya said quietly, "I don't want to ask you to lie for me."

"But you don't want anyone to know…"

"Well, you could simply fail to correct anyone who assumes…"

Renji smiled.

"Okay, Taicho, whatever you want me to do. Just tell me."

Byakuya gazed at him gratefully.

"Abarai Renji," he said softly, taking the redhead's hand, "arigato."

"It's nothing," Renji assured him, "I want to do this."

Byakuya nodded and squeezed his hand.

"Very well then. We had best have Unohana taicho give us more of an explanation."

Renji nodded and stepped out for a moment, returning with Unohana taicho. The healer smiled warmly at them.

"Have you worked things out now?" she asked.

"Yes, we have," said Byakuya, "We are pleased to have a child on the way, even with it being so sudden. We do have questions, however…"

"I'm sure you do. Ask anything you like."

"Well," said Byakuya, "I would like to know how the child will be born. There has not been a male pregnancy in the Kuchiki family for generations, so although I knew the process exists, I don't know the mechanics of it."

"I can assist you with that," the healer said, "In cases of male pregnancy, a chamber forms inside the male body and the child forms as a compacted ball of raw reiatsu. It is very unstable at first, which is why many male pregnancies are not carried to term. The reiatsu is slowly stabilized inside the male body, then emerges on its own. Free of the male body, the reiatsu then transforms into the body of a shinigami child. So…although you will experience many symptoms a woman would, you will not have the most obvious bodily changes. Your abdomen will thicken and form a small bump where the reiatsu is stored inside, but it will likely be barely noticeable."

"So basically, no one will know he's pregnant?" queried Renji.

"The clan will know," Byakuya said softly, "They can sense the heir. They apparently haven't yet or they would have been at me asking…"

He stopped himself and a deeply troubled look came over his face.

"Kuchiki taicho, are you all right?" Unohana asked.

"Hai," Byakuya said, nodding, "Please continue."

"The gestation will be about the same as for a woman, because of the need to stabilize the reiatsu. You will have to be cautious, because of the unstable nature of the reiatsu. I would strongly suggest that you refrain from both battle and lovemaking until the birth. I know this will be difficult to ask, but you do wish to have a healthy baby and I am here to help you do that. I will give you a clearance form to return for desk duty only for the duration of the pregnancy."

The troubled look in Byakuya's eyes deepened and he sighed again. Renji touched him lightly on the arm.

"It's going to be okay, Taicho," he said softly, "I'll be right here with you, every step of the way."

Byakuya looked up at him and felt the weight on his heart lighten.

"Arigato, Renji," he said quietly, "I am glad to have you here with me."

Byakuya barely heard the rest of what was said. He half listened to Renji's barrage of questions asking for details on how to help care for him and added little more to the conversation. He answered the rest of the healer's questions and set a follow up appointment for the next week. He took the appointment card and clearance form and followed Renji back to the division office.

"I guess you're stuck letting me run things," Renji said happily.

Byakuya nodded.

"It seems so," he said, unenthusiastically.

Renji frowned and put an arm around him.

"You're not still worried about the father coming back, are you?" he asked.

Byakuya shook his head.

"I am just tired."

"Go lie down," Renji said quickly, "I'll make some tea for you. And then you can get some sleep."

He paused, studying the noble for a moment.

"If you want to be alone…"

"Oh," said Byakuya, realizing the intent of the question, "Renji, of course, you are welcome to come to bed with me."

"Really?" the redhead said, smiling, "I'm glad, Taicho. I know that we are not ready to really start things between us, but I think even just sleeping next to you will be wonderful, and there's always later, after the baby is born for the rest, right?"

"Yes, there is," Byakuya said quietly.

Renji grinned.

"It kinda sucks waiting," he chuckled, "but I'll survive, I guess."

Still laughing softly, Renji turned and headed out of the room and toward the squad kitchen. Byakuya watched him leave, then entered his quarters and walked out onto the patio. He looked up through the clouds at the waning moon.

"What am I to do?" he whispered softly to the sky, "What if he finds out? What if he comes back? What am I to do?"

Tears burned in his eyes and silently overflowed. He loosed his misery in soft, soundless sobs, wrapping his arms around his midsection as though trying to protect what couldn't be protected.

"He set up my sister to die and cut down Renji, and would have killed both Rukia and me. How could I be so stupid? How could I give myself to that monster?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Renji's arms wrapped around him from behind and the redhead's voice sounded in his ear.

"No wonder you seemed so out of it."

Byakuya rested, frozen and breathless in the redhead's strong arms.

"Don't worry Taicho. I won't say anything. No one will ever know that Aizen Sousuke fathered your child. Your secret is safe with me."

The promise was welcome and the words so much of a relief that his legs buckled beneath him and he dropped down onto his knees. Renji caught him and dropped down with him, holding him tightly and whispering into his ear.

"It will be all right, Taicho. No one will find out. No one will ever know."

But, I will know, and I will never, ever forgive myself for being so wrong.