This chapter was a hassle and has some minor violence in it because it's The Loud's vs. The Wax dummies! Who's gonna win? This will also show a little of the smart side of Leni Loud, and some more brother teamwork with Dipper and Lincoln.
I also recommend you all listen to a song that would be good to hear during the fight scene.
Just a reminder, Dipper and Mabel's real names for this are Lucas and Leia, respectively.
I own nothing.
Enjoy!
Headhunters
It was one of the few times that their Great Uncle gave them a day off. Apparently, business was slow for now. So the Loud's thought Stan was cooking up some new ideas for the Shack while they were relaxing for once. So, to pass the time, they were all in the Living Room, watching a show called, Duck-tective. The show was about a literally British duck solving crimes in the streets of London. The show in question showed a British Policeman, or Constable, and the Duck Detective standing next to a telephone booth with a dead person in it.
Mabel was knitting a new sweater, Leni was sitting next to her and drawing up new clothing designs, Lori was texting Bobby, Luna was watching the show and eating popcorn with Lucas, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, and Lynn. Lucy was in the vents of the house and was near the opening where the couch was so she could watch as well. Lana was with Soos, fixing things around the Shack. While Lisa was giving a Lecture to the nearby college.
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident." The Constable said.
The Duck Detective spoke with subtitles and said," An accident, Constable? Or is it… murder?!"
The Officer looked shocked and said, "What?!"
"Duck-tective will return after these messages!" The TV announcer said.
"Strange, I thought it looked like Fowl Play. Ha, ha!" Luan laughed.
Leia dropped her sweater with a gasp and said," That duck is a genius!"
"I know! I started drawing some cute outfits for him!" Leni said and showed her sister.
"Wow! He would look so great in them, the criminals will confess just by being in awe." Mabel said impressed.
Lola looked at the pictures as well, nodded and said," That would look cute on him. Their better than the drab colors he wearing right now."
"On another note, it's easy for him to find clues when you're that close to the ground." Lucas said.
"Please, you're just jealous." Lori teased.
"Come now, I have a very keen power of observation. For example, just by smelling Mabel, and Leni's breaths, I can tell that they've been eating… sniffs… an entire tube of toothpaste?"
"It was so sparkly." Mabel said with her mouth covered in toothpaste.
"Yeah, like it was the same color of my dress and Leia dared me too." Leni said with the same stuff on her mouth.
"Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what we found!" Soos said as he ran into the room with Lana.
"Buried Treasure!" Lucas and Leia said at the same time and then laughed.
"A stash of rare comics?"
"Some old musical equipment?"
"What about some sports equipment?"
"Some old 'Pageant Life' Magazines?"
"Nope, it's quite awesome and creepy at the same time." Lana said.
"I want to look." Lucy said next to Lana and she jumped in fright.
Everyone followed Soos and Lana as they led them to a hallway, and they found it hidden door.
"So, I was cleaning and Lana was checking for anything loose or faulty and we found this secret door." Soos explained.
"Yeah it was hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy creepy." Lana said and opened it.
Dipper turned on a flashlight and moved it around and everyone went inside. What they found was a dark room filled with Wax Dummies of famous people, ranging from historical figures, celebrities, or fictional characters.
Leni shuttered and said," Ugh, like it's totes creepy in here."
Lucy looked around, grinned and said," I don't mind it... gasp! A wax Edgar Allen Poe."
"There so lifelike." Mabel said and looked at a Wax Sherlock Holmes.
"Wow. A wax Groucho Marx." Luan squealed in delight.
"Nice, a wax Paul McCartney." Luna said.
Dipper shined the flashlight at another one and said," Except for that one."
"Hello!" Stan said.
"AHHHHH!" everyone screamed in surprise.
Stan chuckled and said," It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!"
Everyone screamed again but soon calmed enough for Stan to show them what the room was.
"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions… before I forgot all about it. I got' em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"
"Actually it's the hydrophobic malleable solid of well known Journalist Larry King." Lisa said and everyone jumped again.
"When did you get home?" Lincoln asked.
"I saw a door which I previously had no knowledge of, and decided to check it out and I knew you all would be in here too." She said and adjusted her glasses.
"Right, and my personal favorite, Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over…" He looked to where it should be but it had melted from sunlight from a window. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!"
Leni gasped, she was right next to Lincoln, and hugged him.
"Uh, Leni, what's wrong?"
"I'm comforting you. Considering that wax version of you melted. It's going to be alright, little brother."
Stan looked at the melted wax figure in sadness and then asked," Do any of you know how to fix a wax figure?"
"Ooo, ooo! Grunkle Stan! Mabel and I could do it!" Leni said with her hand raised, after she lets go of Lincoln.
Mabel gasped and said excitedly, "Your right! Grunkle Stan, Leni and I will make a new wax figure from all this old wax! And maybe make a couple of more with some more wax!"
"You think you both can make one of these puppies?"
Mabel gave him a serious look and said, "Grunkle Stan, Leni and I are talented in arts, crafts and fashion. Why do you think I got this glue gun stuck to my arm and Leni always sketches something in her sketchbook?"
To prove her point, Mabel held up her arm, which did have a glue gun stuck to it, and Leni held up her sketchbook excitedly.
"I like your gumption, kids!" Grunkle Stan said.
"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"
"Do you guys think you get us more wax?" Leni asked.
A couple of hours later Leia and Leni were busy coming up with ideas and were in the living room.
"Like, how about, a Fairy Princess!" Leni said.
Leia nodded and said, "Good, good, but she needs a horse for when she is tired flying."
"Your right." Leni said with realization.
They draw some more and they then see Lori and Lucas come out with sodas.
"Guys!" They both yell.
In fright, Lori and Dipper do a spit take and cough from the soda. Lori looked at her top and she felt her anger rise a little because some soda had splashed on her top and Dipper took a couple of steps back, because he knew what her anger was like.
"What?" Lori said annoyed.
Mabel and Leni didn't look frightened with the way Lori looked with Mabel saying," Lori, Dipper, what do you guys think of our wax figure idea?" She said and they showed them their drawing of a hybrid horse fairy princess.
"It's a horse fairy princess! What do you guys think?" Leni said.
Lori had a raised eyebrow and looked at Dipper and he shrugged.
"Uh, maybe you should carve something from real life." She said, trying to sound sincere.
Mabel shows them another sketch that had a picture of a large waffle with arms and said," Like a waffle, with big arms!"
Dipper scratched the back of neck and said," Y-okay… or, you now, something else. Right Lor?"
Lori nodded and said," Yeah, like… like someone in the family."
Stan came in without pants and said," Kids, have you seen my pants?" He said and posed on the briefcase.
Both Mabel and Leni look at their Grunkle Stan and their eyes widened in realization and said both said," Muse, You work in mysterious ways."
"Why are your sister's talking to the ceiling?" Grunkle Stan asked Lori and Dipper.
With new found inspiration and determination, both sisters got to work on the sculptures and worked through the night, sculpting, painting, and taking breaks when needed. And when morning came they looked at the finished wax sculptures with Soos.
The three of them liked the outcome of one particular sculpture, but they felt like it was missing something.
"Are we like missing something?" Leni asked.
Leia rubbed her chin in thought and said, "I think… it needs more glitter."
Leni agreed and said, "Lot's."
"Agreed." Soos said and handed them both buckets of glitter.
Mabel and Leni looked at each other, nodded and tossed both buckets at the statues.
The both of them then brought the rest of their siblings into the room to show them their work. Needless to say, they were all impressed. Apparently, both sisters got the idea to create wax sculptures of their family, including Lily.
"Wow, you guys did great. And our wax selves look cool." Lincoln said impressed.
"Please, mine is the best." Lola said.
"I gotta hand it to you guys, you did one wax of a job! Ha, ha! Get it?" Luan said.
Stan walked into the room again, he was thankfully now wearing pant, but he was now missing shoes.
"I found my pants, but now I'm missing my- AAHH!" He fell over in surprise at what his Grandnieces made.
"What do you think?" Mabel asked in anticipation.
She didn't have to wait long, because Stan smiled and said," I think the wax museum is back in business! Huh, I see that you did create something else with the rest of the wax."
Both siblings high-fived at the declaration, feeling an extreme sense of accomplishment.
Later that day Mabel, Leni and the rest of the family stood while Grunkle Stan started to unveil the new Wax Museum. Both girls were jumping at the balls of their feet in excitement. Beforehand, everyone, including Bobby and Ronnie Anne had to help spread the word all over town about the unveiling, and to also help set up, and get everyone situated.
Bobby looked around and said," Man, who knew this place was going to packed."
"Well boo-boo bear, don't underestimate our Uncle when it comes to business ventures like this." Lori said.
"That, and the fact people can be swayed easily sis." Luna said.
Ronnie Anne looked Mabel and Leni, and said," I gotta say, you guys did great. Especially with the Wax Sculptures of your family. Even if I these types of things creepy. No offense."
"None taken." Mabel said.
Stan cleared his throat at the microphone and said," You all know me folks, town darling, Mr. Mystery. Please, ladies control yourselves."
None of the women in the audience showed in interest in Stan, they only gave him blank stares.
"Yeah, from running away from the way he looks." Luan muttered to siblings.
They all muffled their laughter, so they Great Uncle wouldn't hear.
Stan didn't seem to hear her, and he continued," As most of you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlement, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me. And others." He said as he pulled the sheet off the sculptures.
He unveiled a wax replica of himself, along with one of the Loud Siblings posing in the way Lincoln had wanted them to for a picture for their parents wedding anniversary.
There was only a couple of people who clapped at that, including someone coughing.
"And now a few words from our own Mabelangelo and Leniardo!" Stan said.
"That's not my name… or is it?" Leni said confused.
"C'mon Leni." Mabel said and they go on the podium.
"It's Mabel or Leia, and Leni. Thank you all for coming!"
"Yeah, like we made these with our own two hands!" Leni said and held up her hands.
"And it's all covered with our Artistic minds. And our blood, sweat, tears and other fluids!" Mabel added.
A lot of people voiced their disgust at that but the two artists didn't care.
Mabel chuckled and said," Yeah, I or Leni will be take questions. You there!"
Old Man McGucket stood up and said," Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up questions, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"
"What about us?" Leni said in fear.
Mabel ignored her and said," Uh, yes! Next question!"
Toby Determined stood up and said," Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"
"Your microphone's a Turkey Baster, Toby." Grunkle Stan said.
"It certainly is-"
"Next question."
Another reporter stood up and said," Shandra Jimenez. A real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"
The audience voice their thoughts on what she said and they all started getting angry.
"That was a typo. Good night, everyone!" Stan said and used a Smoke Bomb to escape and took the admission fee with him.
Everyone soon started to riot, but left mad and furious. The Loud Siblings would've been surprised by this outcome, but they knew their Great Uncle well enough by now to know something like this would happen.
"These are great! I really gotta, wax it to you. Ha, ha!" Luan said and hugged her Wax self.
"I'm glad you guys didn't put glitter on mine." Lana said and smeared some mud on her part of the statue. "You guys don't mind right?"
"It's all yours." Mabel said.
"Still gotta admit, well crafted and handsome. But… the clothes look really real though." Lincoln said and scratched his head.
Lori took a closer look and said," Your right, odd."
"Oh, that's because Mabel and I used yours and our real clothes." Leni said with small smile.
"What?!" Said the collective shouts.
Later that night everyone was getting ready for bed and were brushing their teeth when they hear a scream coming from downstairs and they went down and found Stan in shock.
"Wax Stan! He's been… m-murdered!" Stan yelled, and showed them the scene in question. Wax Stan was lying on the ground, and it's head was missing.
Everyone gasped in horror, while both Mabel and Leni fainted, and were caught by Dipper and Lori.
The others then glared expectantly at Luan.
The comedian blinked, gave everyone an incredulous look and said," What? I can read a room. I know this isn't the right time."
Stan got right to calling the the Police, and immediately explained what had happened once they arrived.
"I got up to use the john, right? And when I came back, blammo! He's headless."
Mabel and Leni were especially stricken by what had happened. They worked really hard on making Wax Stan, but now he was dead. They took some solace in the fact that the sculpture of their siblings was still intact, but they were still saddened.
"Our hard work, ruined." Leni whispered, and sniffed.
"Our expert hand craft has been besmirched. Besmirched!" Mabel said and they both hugged each other, and Leni looked to be on the verge of crying.
"Hey, look on the bright side, at least our sculptures haven't been ruined." Lincoln said positively.
"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" Durland asked.
"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts… this case is unsolvable." Sheriff Blubs said.
"What?!" Everyone said.
"Why not? Some jerk stole our Great Uncle's Head… fake head." Luna said.
"Yeah you take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Stan said, outraged.
"You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." Dipper said.
"He's really good. He figured out who was eating and stealing our tin cans!" Mabel said.
"All signs pointed to the goat eating them and our sister experimenting with them."
"It was all in the name of science." Lisa defended.
Stan nodded and said, "Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head. Including glasses here."
Everyone agreed, they all knew their brother could solve any mystery. While the person in question beamed in appreciation at the compliments of his family.
"Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!" Sheriff Blubs mocked.
"City boooy! City booooy!" Durland mocked and the both of them laughed.
"How adorable!" Blubs continued to mock, and they continued to laugh.
Luna and Lori walked up to them mad, and held them by their shirt with Lori saying," NO one! Makes fun of our brother!"
"Yeah, not cool dudes!" Luna said.
They both of them let go of their shirts and both cops dusted themselves off but looked frightened.
"We're letting you off for that." Blubs said.
"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fill an entire Cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire Cantaloupe!" Someone said over Blubs Walkie Talkie.
Durland looked excited and said, "It's a 23-16!"
"Let's move!" Blubs said and they ran off laughing.
"What a bunch of morons. Their lucky that they left, or else they would've been treated to a knuckle-sandwich." Lynn fumed.
"I agree, how they still have their positions in Law Enforcement, is baffling." Lisa agreed.
"Thanks guys. Now Mabel, Leni and I are going to find this jerk and get back the head."
"Y'know, bro. We all can help as well." Lincoln suggested, and the other siblings nodded.
"Thanks Linc, but we'll handle it ourselves for now. Now, lets show those cops we can do it. Then we'll see who's adorable." Dipper said and sneezed like a kitten.
Everyone looked at Dipper and they were trying to hold their laughter, or were gushing.
"Aww, you sneezed like a kitten." Mabel said.
"No I didn't." Dipper said with a blush. "That was a... manly sneeze." Dipper said with deep voice and puffed out his chest.
"Pfff, whatever you say, kitten." Lori teased her little brother and everyone started laughing.
"Why do I even try?" Dipper muttered with an embarrassed face as his sister's, brother and Great Uncle laughed at him.
Later the next day, all four of them were checking out the crime scene. Mabel was taking pictures, Leni was looking around while Dipper and Lincoln were studying the crime scene. Dipper had decided to have his brother help out as well. He realized that in order to solve this, he needed the help of his brother. Just like him and Mabel, him and Lincoln had each other's back, and knew how to solve things.
They didn't call themselves 'The Brothers with a Plan' for nothing.
"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up us to find it. There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone." He said and looked at a board with pictures of suspects.
Lincoln nodded and said," Especially due to no one getting pizza, that will always cause something to happen. We speak from experience."
Dipper nodded, the Loud family was notorious for fighting or other things just to get pizza.
"We also need to find where they got their clothing because some look yuck." Leni said.
Dipper sighed and said," Maybe later sis. But in this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."
"Hey, look! A clue." Mabel said.
They looked to find a couple of shoe prints on the floor and the bottom of the foot had a hole.
"Leni, this is your part." Dipper said.
Leni looked closer, looked at them and said," Size 9, male dress shoe, perfect for when you want to have a nice date. And it has a hole on the bottom, and leads to a certain part of the room."
"Your right and it leads…"
The four of them followed the footprints to the back of the couch and found…
"Gasp! An Axe!" They said.
They got it and went to the gift shop and asked Soos and Lana to help them with what they found.
"So, what do you guys think?" Dipper asked.
"It's an axe." Soos said.
"Yeah, left handed axe, probably used by a Lumberjack." Lana said and scratched her chin.
Dipper had a determined look, hit his hand into his fist and said, "Of course! The Lumberjack! He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza."
"Furious enough, for murder!" Mabel said.
"Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." Soos said.
"Many Dan? Oh, that's Wendy's dad, I should warn you guys, he's a little unstable but Wendy said that he means well." Leni said.
"Then that's where we're going." Leia said.
"Dudes, that is awesome. You four are like: The Mystery Quadruplets!" Soos said.
"Don't call us that." Dipper deadpanned.
Lincoln shook his head and said," Yeah, no offense Soos, but that would only work if we were actual Quadruplets."
"Ooo, what about: The Mystery Crew!" Lana said.
"I like that." Mabel said.
"Sorry sis, but it needs work but I'll put that into consideration." Dipper said.
The four of them walked outside to find Stan pulling a coffin out of his car.
"Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I asked Lucy to do a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy."
"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have a break in the case." Dipper said.
"Break in the case!" Both Leia and Leni said.
"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer. And to hope to bring some justice for Wax Stan." Lincoln determinedly said.
Mabel held the axe and said, "We have an axe! REE, REE, REE!"
"Hm, this seems like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do… Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!" Stan yelled into the heavens.
The four of them soon walked into town, and hid behind a dumpster, near the Biker Bar, which was called Skull Fracture.
"This is the place." Dipper said.
A tall, heavily tattooed, muscular bouncer was standing outside, and he turned their way, and hid again.
"Got the fake ID's?" Dipper asked Mabel
Mabel handed him, and Leni handmade IDs.
"Like, are you sure these will work, Leia?" Leni asked.
"They'll have to if we want to get to the bottom of this mystery." Dipper explained.
Leni nodded and said," Your right little brother, for Wax Stan."
The four of them walked out of their hiding spot, and to the entrance.
The bouncer look closely at an ID and said," Sorry, we don't' let in miners."
The person in question was actually a miner.
"Aw Dangnabit!" He literally spat and started to walk off.
Leni who had heard was what said, looked at the miner and said," Don't' worry Mr. Miner, I'm sure there's another bar where they welcome others like you."
The Miner tipped his hat in thanks, and walked off.
"Hello there sir. We're here to interrogate Manly Dan for the murder of Wax Stan." Mabel said, and showed the bouncer their fake IDs.
"Works for me." He said and opened the door for them.
The four of them walk inside, and surveyed the room. The place looked like a stereotypical biker bar with bikers, who were either fighting, playing pool, and loud music was heard.
Lincoln looked slightly nervous and said, "I think we should've brought Lynn with us."
Dipper agreed with the statement, but said," True, but there's no turning back now."
The four of them walked around to find Manly Dan. Both brothers then spotted him playing a test your strength game. And both brothers approached him.
"Manly Dan, just the guy we wanted to see. Where were you last night?" Dipper asked.
"By any chance, near a certain tourist destination in the woods?" Lincoln added.
"Punchin' the clock." He responded.
"So, you were at work." Lincoln said.
"No, I was punchin' that clock!" He said, and pointed at a broken clock outside that had a fist shaped dent on it.
Both brothers realized he wasn't the culprit. Due to the fact Manly Dan had punched it at 10 O'clock, which was also the time of the murder.
Dipper frowned and said," 10 o'clock. The time of the murder. So I guess you've never seen this before?"
Lincoln pulled the axe from his brother's bag, and showed it to Manly Dan."
"Listen little girl, and little boy who has white hair!"
Dipper realized he was mistaken for girl, after he glared at his brother, who was snickering, tried to contradict him. " Hey, a-actually I'm-"
"I wouldn't pick my teeth with that axe! It's left-handed. I only use my right hand! The manly hand!" He said and proceeded to rip the arm off the machine, and beat it with it.
Tyler Cutebiker was nearby cheering on," Get'im! Get'im!"
Lincoln leaned over to his brother and whispered," I'm pretty sure he would get along with the Manotaur's."
Dipper nodded and said," True, but we now know the murderer was left-handed."
Mabel and Leni, meanwhile, were sitting at the bar with one of the bikers. Mabel was using a Cootie Catcher, and Leni was painting his nails black, but was also adding tiny skulls to it.
"There, like now you'll both be fashionable, and have a touch of looking bad as well… but in a good way."
"Ooo." The biker said in appreciation as he looked at his nails.
"3, 4, 5, 6. Gasp! Your wife will be beautiful." Mabel said as she saw the results.
"Yes!" He cheered.
"Wait, don't make any closed fists for at least 10 minutes. You have to let the paint dry." Leni said.
"Guys, big break in the case!" Dipper told them, and the four of them followed them out of the bar."
"But will she love me?!" The biker asked desperately.
After they got outside, Lincoln and Dipper explained what they found.
"So, all we have to do is interview everyone who was at the unveiling yesterday, and see if any of them are left-handed, and then we'll find our killer. So we can rule out Manly Dan." Leni summarized what they said.
The three of them blinked, realizing she was right.
"Yeah… that's it." Lincoln said.
"Oh man! We are on fire!" Mabel cheered.
For the next couple of hours, the four of them went around town checking everyone who was at the unveiling. None of them were the culprit, but they soon got the last person the list.
"Well checked almost everyone. Nothing yet." Lincoln lamented.
"Well, don't your chickens yet. Cause we still have one more person left." Dipper said and showed his siblings the last name on the list.
Later that night, a police car, and the family van stopped in front of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. The four sleuths had contacted the police, and told them what they had found. Once their siblings found out, they all wanted to come along, and give the murderer a piece of their mind for upsetting their Great Uncle, and their sisters.
Blubbs and Durland approached the door and said to Dipper," You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it."
"The evidence is irrefutable." Dipper confidently said.
"I agree with my brother, even though I don't know what that means." Leni said.
"I get to use my Nightstick." Durland excitedly giggled.
Lynn cracked her knuckles, looked at her brothers, and said, "Let me know when I can start beating people up."
Both brothers rolled their eyes at their sister, with Dipper saying, "On 3! 1, 2-"
Both Officers kicked the door open, and held up their Nightsticks.
"Don't move! This is a raid!" Blubbs said.
Toby Determined, who was the sole occupant in the room, fell out of his chair," Aaaah! What is this? Some kind of raid?"
"Like duh, even I knew that." Leni said.
"Derp!" Durland said as he hit a lamp.
"Ah, sweet! Are we tearing the place up for evidence?" Lynn said, and was about to do just that, but Luna stopped her.
"Not the time dude." She said, and Lynn huffed annoyance.
The siblings approached Toby with Dipper saying," Toby Determined, you are under arrest for the murder of the Wax body of Grunkle Stan!"
"You have the right to remain impressed." Mabel said.
"With our sibs pretty sweet detective skills." Luna praised.
Toby looked both confused and terrified and said," Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!"
Lincoln looked at Lisa and said," Do you mind if I take this?"
"Not at all. I wasn't even part of this, brother unit."
"Right, then let us explain then. You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to take matters into your own hands, and did the deed in question."
"And with that, you decided to make your own headline." Luan said, which earned a giggle from Mabel.
"But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed." Lincoln continued.
"You should never trust the ones with bad fashion sense." Leni said.
"And that also makes you, yesterday's news." Mabel said, and then high-fived Luan.
"Man, we are on fire!" Luan said.
Toby let the information to be processed, then became amused and said," Boy, all of your knees must be sore, form jumping to conclusions." He said and did a little dance.
"Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder." He continued.
"Haha! So like, you do confess to it." Leni said.
"No Leni, he literally said he did nothing… wait, you just said you didn't do it?" Lori said.
"So, if you didn't commit the crime? Where were you at the night of the break-in?"
Toby looked embarrassed, and looked like he wasn't going to say something.
"You better say something, or else you're going to pain town." Lynn said, as she punched her fist into her hand.
Toby conceded and said," Come over here. Just please don't tell or show anyone."
He led them to a TV, and pulled out a VHS tape, and put it in the player. Everyone watched as the video started to play. The timestamp of the video showed it was the day and time of the murder. Video Toby looked around as he was walking over to a closet, and pulled something out.
"Finally, a moment alone with you, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez. If only you were the real thing." He said, and started to passionately make out, and caress the cutout.
Needless to say, everyone was grossed out, and scarred for life by what they were seeing.
"Ah, dude!" Luna said in disgust.
"Well I can't unsee this. Does anyone have any bleach?" Lincoln winced.
"I like to be tortured, but not like this." Lucy lamented.
"Let's literally, look the other way." Lori said as she averted the eyes of Lola and Lana, while Luan did the same for Lisa.
"Curse my good memory. I won't be able to forget this apparent damage to my psyche." The genius deadpanned.
"Timestamp confirms it. Toby Determined, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." Blubbs said.
"Hooray!" He said as he threw his arms up in celebration.
The four sleuths couldn't believe that they were wrong, Dipper in particular. All the evidence they collected led to Toby, but it was all wrong.
"What? No, no, that can't be right." Dipper protested. It has to be him! Check the axe for his fingerprints!" He insisted.
Durland held up a neon light as Blubbs dusted the axe for fingerprints. "No prints on it." Blubbs said.
"What? Then how can Wax Stan's murder been carried out then?" Lincoln said in disbelief.
"Hey, I got a headline for ya. Bunch of city kids wastes everyone's time!" Durland mocked, and started to laugh with Blubbs and Toby.
That caused everyone to be either embarrassed or angry. Lynn was the latter, as she walked up to the officer, and kicked him in the shin.
"Ow!" He said as he held his leg.
"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were all of you." Toby said, not noticing that the footage from the video was still playing.
"You know, I hate to somehow see that video be brought to the news lady, so she can see it. Or be uploaded online for everyone to see." Lola nonchalantly said.
"Right, shutting up now."
Later everyone was in the Wax figure room. Stan was holding a Memorial service for Wax Stan, everyone, including Soos and the other wax figures. They had to unfortunately tell their Great Uncle the news that they didn't find the killer. That dampened the old man's spirits more, but congratulated them none-the-less, and said they tried and it mattered. The kids were stunned, but accepted it, their Great Uncle rarely praised or cheered them up like that, but they accepted it.
"We are gathered her to mourn the loss of Wax Stan. His life was unfortunately cut short, but we are here to remember him as he was. Now Wax Stan's real counterpart, Great Uncle Stan would like to say a few words." Lucy said and stepped away from the podium to let Stan speak.
Stan gave her a pat on the shoulder and said, "Thanks kid. Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming."
Everyone, minus the wax figures nodded, while Soos blow's his nose and was silently crying.
Stan sniffed and continued, "Some people might say, it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."
Soos jumped up, points and said," They're wrong!"
"Easy Soos. Kids I know your wax figures weren't taken away and I hope you love them as much as I loved Wax Stan. I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven. Sniffs… I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" Stan said and ran out of the room crying.
"Ohhhh duuuude!" Soos said and ran out of the room crying as well.
Everyone got up and walked up to Wax Stan in his coffin while Dipper sighed.
"Those cops are right about me."
Everyone looked at him shocked with Lori saying," Don't say that little brother, you tried while those two morons who call themselves cops didn't do a thing. You, Leia, Lincoln and Leni did great."
"Yeah, we've come so far, we can't give up now." Mabel said confidently.
"Yeah and the fact that you guys tried, that's all that matters." Luan said.
"Thanks Luan." Leni said with a small smile.
"Yeah but guys. I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues. Everything."
Leni looked at Wax Stan and saw something on the bottom of his shoe.
"Hey Luke, like there's a hole at the bottom of his show like the ones we found earlier."
"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy." Mabel said.
Dipper thought about it for moment, then realized what all this meant and said, "Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Guys! The murderers are-"
"Standing right behind you." An English voice said.
Everyone turned around and gasped as the Wax Sherlock Holmes stood up with the other Wax figures, coming to life. Lola, Lana and Lisa hid behind everyone and shook in fear and confusion. Everyone looked at each other but no one did anything else out of fear and confusion.
Wax Lizzie Borden took the Axe from Mabel and walked back the other wax figures and held it menacingly with Mabel saying," Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"
"W-what how?" Lynn said.
"My opinion of this town is literally changing." Lori said.
"Congratulations, my four amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you." Wax Sherlock Holmes said menacingly.
"But bravo, Lucas, Leia and Leni Loud. You've discovered our little secret." Wax Sherlock said and took out Wax Stan's head out of his cape. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically."
All the Wax figures applaud but Wax Sherlock stopped them.
"Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow cap."
All the Wax figures slowed clapped with Wax Sherlock saying," There we go, nice and condescending."
"But… how is this possible? You're all made of wax!" Lincoln said.
"Fascinating if I wasn't terrified." Lisa said.
"Are you … magic?" Lola asked in a small voice.
"Are you cursed?" Lucy asked, both terrified, and intrigued.
Wax Sherlock laughed and said," Are we magic or are we cursed? They want to know if we're magic or cursed." Wax Sherlock banged his hand on the podium, which everyone flinched with Lola and Lana hiding behind Luna and Luan.
"WE'RE CURSED! Like the dark and gloomy little girl said."
"Cursed! Cursed!" The other Wax figures chanted.
"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."
"A haunted garage sale mate's." Wax Paul McCartney said.
"Your uncle bought us and the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man. And when your uncle went to sleep. We would rule the night. It was a charmed life for us cursed beings… until your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But when it was time to strike, we got the wrong guy."
The Loud's were all shocked by this revelation. Sure they understood the Wax figures being mad about being locked in a room for all those years, even though Stan didn't know they were cursed and alive. But to actually try to murder him for it was too insane, and horrifying to comprehend.
"Hold up. You wanted to literally kill him for real?!" Lori said in shock.
"I have a joke for losing a head but it's so not the right time." Luan said and gulped.
"Too right sis." Luna said in a small voice.
"You were right Dipper! Wax people are creepy!" Mabel said.
"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must… die." Wax Sherlock said.
All the Wax figures growled and their eyes rolled back in their heads and approached the kids.
"What do we do?!" Leni said shaking.
"Start throwing stuff at them!" Lynn said.
Everyone grabbed random things and started throwing them at the Wax dummy's. It didn't make them flinch, and they kept coming at them. Dipper then threw a Coffee maker, that still had Coffee in it and it hit Wax Genghis Khan. The hot liquid then caused him to yell in pain and started to melt.
"That's it! The melting point for High Paraffin wax is above 130 F! We need candles or anything hot enough to melt them!" Lisa said.
Everyone grabbed an electric Candle and held them menacingly at the Wax figures, who took a step back.
"Anyone move and we'll turn you into Waxy puddles!" Lana threatened.
"Or maybe turn you into something less scary. Like actual candles." Lola said.
"You really think you can defeat us?" Wax Sherlock scoffed.
"We're s-sure wax dude." Luna said with false bravery.
"It' worth a shot, I guess." Mabel said.
"So be it. Attack!" Wax Sherlock commanded.
The Wax figures advanced and the Loud siblings used their Candles against them. Lucy and Lisa threw theirs at Wax Lizzie Borden as she was about to attack Mabel but they got caught in her eyes and she threw her axe in confusion at Wax Robin Hood and his head came off. And Mabel cut off Lizzie Borden's head and arms and kicked the rest of her into the lit fire pit.
Lola was swiping her's at wax Larry King, while Lana stood behind. Lana then pushed him. Which made him fall, but both sisters slashed their candles, and he ended up losing his head. Both sisters high-fived.
Luna and Luan had both wax Groucho Marx and Paul McCartney cornered.
"This is ridiculous! I don't want to melt." Wax Marx
"Oh please, I, don't want to, I don't want to Melllt! I don't want to Melt!" Wax McCartney said.
"Sorry dude but you sang your last song!" Luna said and slashed her Candle into his torso and he was cut in half.
"Sorry sis that was bad, you gotta wax and learn!" Luan said and did the same thing to Marx.
"I've heard of cutting remarks, but this is ridiculous!" He joked as he fell down.
Luan laughed and then stopped when Luna was giving her deadpanned look.
"What? Just because he's wax, doesn't mean it's not funny."
Both Lori, Leni and Lynn were getting surrounded by Wax Richard Nixon, Groucho Marx and Wax William Shakespeare.
"I will not resign from attacking you!" Nixon said.
"To attack or not attack? I'll attack!" Shakespeare said.
"What do we do?" Leni said and as she held out her Candle.
"I got an idea. Move like a fan while holding out your Candles! Go!" Lynn said.
All three of them did that and they managed to swipe off Nixon's and Shakespeare's head off but Lynn was shorter so she cut Marx in half.
Dipper and Lincoln had just taken care of Wax Genghis Khan when Wax Sherlock Holmes started approaching them.
"Lucas, Lincoln, LOOK OUT!" Lori yelled.
"Alright. Let's get this taken care of." Wax Sherlock Holmes placed Wax Stan's head on the horn of a Taxidermy Rhino head that was on the wall, grabbed a sword that was hanging on the wall as well. He swung at the both of them and smacked the candle out of their hands and broke them.
"GUYS CATCH!" Both Lori and Leia said.
Lucas caught a very hot poker and Lincoln got the other one. Wax Sherlock swung at them but Lincoln blocked it.
"Sorry, my brother and I watch a lot of Sci-Fi movies and we know how to fight." Lincoln said with a smirk.
"It matter not, once you and your family are out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!" He said and swung at them and Dipper blocked it.
"We'll see about that." Dipper said with a determined look.
The three of them fought around the room with the clanking of metal was the only sound or grunts and the other siblings watched and were ready to help their only brother's. Wax Sherlock Holmes managed to have enough room to kick the both of them and they fell to the floor and their fire pokers clattered a couple of inches from them.
"Any last words?" Wax Sherlock said with smirk as he held his sword above his head.
The girls looked on in horror as their brothers were about to be taken out but they all shared a glances, nodded and threw their Candles at him. The candles burned Wax Sherlock and he yelped in pain.
That gave enough time for Dipper and Lincoln to grab their fire probes and they held them menacingly at Wax Sherlock.
"You think you can threaten our family, well think again!" They both yelled and threw the fire probes at him.
They hit his arms and the force was enough to make in fall into the fire.
"Outsmarted by a children in awful clothing! No! Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Butter Hullaballoo!" He yelled and he fully melted.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief but had to throw the rest of the Wax Figures into the fire and they all collapsed into chairs or on the floor when they were done.
"Case closed." Dipper said and high-fived Mabel.
"Ok, I know what just happened was crazy and terrifying but that was awesome!" Lynn said from the ground.
"I second that sis. Did we get all of them?" Lana said.
"I am 99.9% sure that we did." Lisa said.
"I literally do not want to see another Wax figure ever again." Lori said.
"Uh, what about the wax figures of us?" Leni said.
"Keep them, I don't want to do anything to such a perfect statue." Lola said.
Everyone rolled their eyes, knowing Lola was mainly talking about her part of the statue.
Grunkle Stan came into looked at the room and said," Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor?!"
"The cursed were among us and they attacked." Lucy said.
"We fought against the Wax Figures to the death and we came out victorious." Lincoln said.
Stan didn't believe them and said," Ha! You kids and your imaginations!"
No one responded to that but Dipper said," On the bright side, look what we found." He said and held up Wax Stan's head.
"My head! Ha, ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, you all get the next 3 days off!" Grunkle Stan said and everyone cheered.
After that they managed to show up Blubs and Durland, who came and spat coffee at one another and crashed their car. They all got themselves cleaned up and decided to hang out in the Living room and watch TV, which was another episode of Duck-tective.
What they didn't know, was that they had missed someone. The remain's of Wax Larry King, which was his head, managed to escape from melted, and was hiding in the vents. The wax host laughed as he saw the family walked away, but then he then noticed he had company.
A rat was next to him. "So your a rat, tell me about that."
The rat then proceeded to take a bite out of his ear, and took off. Larry King then hopped after him.
"I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"
Mabel was looking at different sweaters, and didn't know what to choose. She then got an idea, and walked into Lori, Leni and Luan's room. Leni was sitting on her bed, reading a magazine.
"Hey Leni, which would look better? Sequins or Llama hair?"
The both of them failed to notice Larry King stopped hopping, and was in the vent that was in the room. "The Llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors." He said and hopped off.
"Thanks sis!" Mabel smiled and walked out of the room.
Leni looked up from her magazine and cheerfully said," Your welcome."
She then went back to reading, but stopped and looked confused. "Wait, what?"
Done with updating this chapter.
Hope you all enjoyed it and please review, follow and favorite.
