The cord of the phone wrapped tight around her hand as she watched Candace and Luke move easily around her kitchen. Ever since Luke's heartfelt confession, she hadn't been able to help watching them too closely. As often as she thought those feelings might be returned, she also couldn't see anything different in their interactions. Candace was still rather shy and averted her eyes and occasionally stuttered; Luke was brash and loud and adorkable.
"I hope you're listening to me, Evelyn," Cris drawled slowly on the other line.
"Yeah, of course I am! I personally prefer Marvel decorations, but Disney is pretty great, too," Evie chuckled, breaking her gaze from the two making a batch of French toast. Luke had managed to spill egg all over his shirt and Evie smirked at him smugly. It widened when he flipped her the bird.
"Good thing it's my classroom I'm decorating, not yours," Cris said. Evie could hear the eyeroll in her tone.
"True, true. Do what you want," Evie agreed, one hand rising in surrender even though Cris couldn't see it. Speaking of which– "Sorry about not being able to catch you on Skype. I'm surprised the phone lines are still up and running."
"Hey! Me n' Pops n' Bo did a damn good job yesterday!" Luke protested. Evie flapped a hand at him.
"I saw that typhoon was going through Castanet. Are you sure you're okay? I could try and make it there for that Ocean Festival thingymajig. Bring some comfort foods with me. Those donuts you like so much, or that popcorn you were addicted to all freshman year?" Cris offered, the concern in her voice making Evie fidget and smile at the same time.
"It's good. Really. Luke fixed up the roof and the electricity hasn't flickered all morning. I think I'm in good hands," Evie said, with an eye roll and smile at Luke when he cheered. "Anyways, I'm heading over to Toucan for the day with Toby. Though… it wouldn't kill me if you came to visit for, like, a week and brought that popcorn with you."
"Ha. It's the popcorn not me that you want. I'll try, though. Oh, shit. I almost forgot! You'll never guess who Facebooked me," Cris abruptly exclaimed. There was a sound of something dropping and Cris's muffled voice cursing.
Evie straightened with a frown. "Cris? Who? Who was it?"
"Sorry, dropped a– never mind. It was Casey."
"Casey? Why the hell didn't you say so immediately! Cristina!" Evie screeched. Candace and Luke looked over at her in confusion.
"Casey?" Candace repeated, baffled.
"Don't blame me. I didn't message him! I thought you told him before you left," Cris retorted, her tone unapologetic and dry. "He cares about you, tanta. You should've told him yourself."
"Oh, come on. I thought he'd hear about it eventually," Evie said, eyes rising heavenward and sighing loudly.
"Well, he did, and, because you're a moron, I had to confirm it when he messaged me, freaking out."
"Like he does."
"Yeah, thanks, bitch," Cris said, deadpan and pissed. Evie snickered and rubbed the back of her neck. Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, Cris spoke again. "I'm getting the last laugh. I told him exactly how to find you. Guess who's coming to visit for the Ocean Festival? Like, he's already got the tickets and writing up a speech to yell at you with."
"Oh, Goddess, noooooo. You didn't!" Evie hissed. She fell back to her bed, arm falling over her eyes and a groan punching out of her. Finn exclaimed wordlessly in shock when he bounced and rolled towards her at the action.
"Careful, Evie!"
"Okay, I gotta know what's goin' on over there," Luke whispered to Candace. Candace just frowned a little more, hands fidgeting with her cardigan sleeves in her worry.
"Don't be a drama queen. I'll try and make it, too, but if not, you're on your own. I'm sure he'll love getting to know foxyboy," Cris taunted, sounding disgustingly gleeful at the idea.
"You're the worst. I'm throwing Luke at him the moment he gets here."
"What? Who?" Luke asked eagerly.
"Hey, I gotta go. I'm about to head to the checkout."
"Shiny," Evie grumbled, slowly pushing herself up. "You're the worst. Seriously, the very worst."
"You love me anyway. See ya."
"Bye." Evie all but threw the phone onto the cradle, only to jerk it right back off when she tried to drop her hand away. She cursed under her breath and yanked at the cord wrapped around her arm as the phone dangled wildly through the air. "Why are the only phones in this town from the nineties? I'm still annoyed about the whole lack of cell reception here."
"I can help! Lemme help!" Finn said, pulling at the cord and fluttering uselessly around her. Evie huffed and smiled despite herself at him. "I… don't think I'm helping very much…" he said a moment later, sadly.
"We're lucky the internet works as well as it does. The next town over has great cell reception, or it used to..." Candace offered helpfully. Evie got the phone untangled and shuffled her way towards the kitchen with Finn on her shoulder.
"Nah, It's fine. Whine whine moan moan, you know how it goes. How goes breakfast? Can I help? I'm still all clean from the shower!" Evie said, waving her hands for emphasis.
Candace smiled, but shook her head. "Thank you, b-but I can handle it."
"'Sides, ya gotta get this pizza in the oven, right? The dough's ready," Luke reminded, tugging her forward where the pie dough lay on a cutting board Luke had run up to Garmon to borrow during Evie's shower. He was still a little damp from ankle to knee. "You gonna tell us 'bout this Casey guy?"
Evie snorted loudly and shook her head. "No, I'm hoping something happens at the company and he won't be able to make it. If he does, he can introduce himself just fine."
Candace and Luke exchanged bewildered looks.
"Why is he coming if… you d-don't seem t-to like him m-much?" Candace asked carefully and guiltily.
"Ask him when he gets here," Evie said darkly. She grabbed the pie dough and glared distractedly at Luke. "You gonna teach me or not?"
"Uh, yeah," Luke said, a little slow but nodding as he got to her side.
They got the tomato and cheese spread quickly, Evie and Luke both stealing little pieces to nibble on as they went. The vegetables were cut almost expertly by Luke while whistling under his breath, surprising her with his nonchalant skill. The pizza went in the hot and ready oven within a few minutes and Candace set a plate stacked high with French toast on the dining table. Finn was already sitting on the back of Evie's chair, drool running down his chin and eyes shining.
"It smells so gooood. You should marry Candy," Finn told her when she sat down. His nose was twitching like a puppy's as Evie grabbed her slices. She bit her lip to keep from laughing aloud.
"It's amazing, thanks, Candy," Evie said, grinning over at her. Candace blushed and ducked her head.
"A-Anybody can make F-French toast," Candace demurred gently.
"But nobiddy makes 'em like 'oo," Luke said around a mouth already stuffed full.
"Hear hear!" Evie cheered, lifting her cup of fresh milk. Luke's spilled over his hand as he tapped his cup to hers, and Candace hesitantly lifted hers to gently tap her glass to theirs as Luke and Evie waited expectantly. They cheered again, Finn along with them.
They all dug in, and Evie paused just long enough to look over everyone at the table. Just barely, she remembered her last thought of the night before and…
And she shoved another too large bite into her mouth.
…
When they all bundled up to head into the storm– Luke to Garmon, Candy and Evie to Harmonica– Finn darted over to Luke to tuck himself into the most convenient and sheltered pocket. Luke paused in the middle of zipping up his windbreaker and stared down at his chest where Finn was perched in his pocket, wings humming impatiently.
"Do… Do y'all hear that?" Luke asked, staring unseeing as Finn blinked innocently up at him.
"Hear what?" Candace asked in concern. Evie ducked her head and bit her lip to keep from snickering.
"The bells. It sounds like bells. Super loud, too. You can't hear anything?" Luke asked again, looking over at them, bewildered. Finn was giggling behind his hands, wings chiming and making Luke twist in place to stare around himself looking for the sound.
"Lu, you need to get outta here. I've got fishin' to get to," Evie said, setting her hands on his shoulder blades and guiding him towards the door.
"Uh… right. Yeah, 'kay," Luke muttered absently. "Hey! I thought 'Lu' was over now?"
"Don't know what you mean," Evie replied airily. Candace glanced between Evie and Luke, brow creasing lightly.
"You really don't mind me going up to the Spring, do ya, Evie? I don't wanna sit around and watch you fish all day especially if you're with Toby," Finn asked for the thousandth time, little hands wringing Luke's pocket anxiously.
"I'm going to have a good time in Toucan, so everyone should make sure they're having a good time today, too," Evie answered to nothing in particular. Luke and Candace gawped at her as Finn sighed in relief.
"Riiight," Luke drawled.
"Oh! Don't forget the letter, Evie!" Candace exclaimed. Candace was the only one Evie had complained to about Selena's letter and Evie was glad she'd mentioned it as she ran towards her diary. It would've been such a waste to get all the way to Toucan and have forgotten it.
Maybe not a complete waste. She ignored the heat crawling over her cheeks at the thought and shoved the letter in a pocket.
Barreling into the Fishery had her hitting a wall of smell, an assault to her olfactory nerves by fish after the blustering chill outside wiping away any other scents. Evie's nose wrinkled, shaking her head and breathing in again, catching with difficulty the scent of hot tea under the brine and fish of the main shop area.
"Miss Evie!" Paolo exclaimed happily. He jumped off the stool behind the counter and hurried around it to get to her. Evie grinned helplessly at his enthusiasm, easily lifting an arm to give him a tight shoulder squeeze when his spindly arm wrapped around her waist. "Toby tol' us about your house! Is it still leaking everywhere?"
Evie rolled her eyes heavenward. "Nope. Not yet anyway. Knowing Luke's handiwork with wood, it'll last through summer at least."
"Well, if you ever wanna come stay here, I don't mind sharing with Toby. Even if he does snore," Paolo said with a put-upon sigh.
She laughed, rubbed his head affectionately, and then re-settled his ball-cap in place. He huffed and took it off anyway, smoothing down his now messy hair before slipping it back on.
"Hey, um…" Paolo glanced towards the door separating shop from living area. Then, he leaned forward as his voice dropped conspiratorially, "Where's Finn? I was gonna ask him if Ben could play with me. It's boring with the storm like this. Da won't let me go fishing. Says I'm still too skinny t'stay upright and cast at the same time." He scowled as he admitted it, looking like a tiny, grumpy, old man. Evie barely kept the snort held back.
"Finn hopped a ride with Luke back up to Garmon. He's spending the day with the other sprites at the Goddess Spring while I go to Toucan for the day. He doesn't like being ignored all day and Toby and I are gonna be together the whole time, so," she broke off with a shrug. Paolo nodded with a sad pout.
"I wish I could go up there, too. Da wouldn't let me without him, and how can I shake 'im off once I'm up at Garmon? I don't even know where the Spring is, really," Paolo said, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the floor. "I guess I'll help Da count up fish again."
"Well…" Evie hesitated slightly, a hand covering her mouth, but it was too late. Paolo was looking up at her with shining, hopeful eyes, and she broke like an old twig under a boot. "You could just try going to the Cave again. Remember, Ben said all you have to do is say his name by his Bell and he'll hear you. He wanted to play with you, or learn science. Who knows with that nerd," Evie said with a chuckle. Paolo grinned exuberantly.
"Yeah! You're right! You really think it'll work without ya, though? I'm no hero," Paolo said with a trace of worry around his eyes.
Evie physically recoiled, mouth dropping open and eyes widening. "Paolo… Paolo don't say stuff like that. I'm just me."
Paolo frowned at her. "No, you're not. If you're the one Ringing the Bells, which I ain't and Ben said you were, then of course you're special. He even said you got magic in you. You're like the Wizard or the Witch Princess!"
"Paolo, I'm not… I'm not magic at all, just really lucky. Please, you… you can't go around saying stuff like that," Evie begged, kneeling in front of him and grasping his hands. "You haven't told anyone, have you?"
Paolo snorted like a horse. "What? Me?! I know how to keep a secret. Not that it matters, everyone's gonna figger it out if they haven't already, Miss Evie."
"Let's hope for now only you know. I… I can't have everyone looking at me, Paolo. I can't have everyone being disappointed if I fail," Evie whispered, hands dropping to her sides and fisting tightly.
"Miss Evie, you ain't gonna fail. No way, no how," Paolo said stoutly. Evie smiled crookedly at him, but it only made him frown even more fiercely. "I mean it! You said I wanna believe in fairies, I only gotta believe. I believe in you, too. And if believing makes fairies real again, then it means you'll do it. I know you'll do it."
Evie stared at him, her eyes wide and burning. Slowly, her vision blurred and her mouth curved up into something more wibbly, yes, but also more genuine. "Thank you, Paolo. You're definitely a hero to me, too. I know Ben will come if you call, shortstack."
"Don't be a jerk!" Paolo exclaimed, rubbing at his own reddening eyes.
Evie tugged him into a fierce hug, one hand behind his head and the other patting his back. His spindly arms tightened around her broad shoulders hard enough to have her gasping out a laugh.
"W-We should go in, 'fore Tobes or Da come out and catch us cryin' over fairies," Paolo muttered, voice thick and nose sniffling.
"You're right." She smiled and squeezed him tight one more time. Then, she pulled away and got to her feet with a sniffle or two of her own. "Got any snot on my face?" she asked, snorting like a pig at him.
Paolo laughed out loud and shook his head. "Don' worry. They won't notice anyway. Tobes is too busy cooking lunch ahead o' time and Da won't notice nothing that ain't pointed out to him."
"You little sassbucket," Evie teased, thumbing at the wetness under her eye. They went towards the door leading into the living area– a little red-eyed, but with their sniffles under control.
…
If paradise smells like anything, it must be like this, Toby mused with an absent smile. Like palm trees and fragrant grasses, like the heavy sweetness of tropical flowers and the tang of sea brine. All overlaid with the bright and humid sunshine that lit up the blue, blue water around them.
He glanced towards Evie, gaze lingering on the round curve of her tanned, flushed cheeks and white smile. Unlike usual, where she was always moving, bouncing about and never staying still, she was calm and relaxed as she leaned on the railing at the prow of Pascal's boat. One foot was tucked behind the opposite ankle, absently rubbing at her saggy sock and giving away how, even at ease, her verve was simmering under the surface and forcing some outlet.
He honestly couldn't imagine how living like that felt. Or how someone like that could rein herself in long enough to enjoy his company as much as she seemed to. She caught his glance then, tilted her head curiously at him while still grinning carelessly.
No, not careless. She might be an impulsive young woman, and klutzy at times, but not careless.
Freely. With her movements, her smiles, even her warm affections. He kept his hands out of sight among the loose folds of his clothes, twisting his grip into the cotton to keep from reaching out and brushing aside the riotous auburn curls that fell over her eyes in the rush of sea air.
"I think this must be what paradise is," Evie said, nose rising and sniffing like a dog.
He ducked his chin, chuckling softly and shaking his head slightly. "You don't say."
"What? Don't you like it? I love the city, but nothing beats a beach for a vacation," Evie defended stoutly with a little frown. She grinned again suddenly and began to laugh. "Oh, I know. It's because it's Toucan, not Harmonica. Are you a beach loyalist? Is that what it is?"
"That's not it," Toby said, actually laughing at that. He looked toward the rapidly approaching docks, the lush foliage of the tropical island a feast for the eyes after the unceasing surface of the ocean. "I was just thinking the same, is all. Just when I think we can't be more different, you remind me of how we're the same."
Evie's eyebrows rose as the sun-kissed tint on her face became a heated blush. Her eyes darted away in a rare moment of shyness that only sweet or kind words could tease out of her. Well, and some other, more private instances.
"I'm glad we have things we share… but I like all those other things, too. The different things," she mumbled. Her hands twisted around the steel railing until her knuckles began to pale.
"Me, too." Before he could second guess himself, Toby reached over and placed his hand over one of hers. Her shoulders tightened, breath audibly catching, but she didn't pull away. She looked to their hands and then down to the glittering blue-green waves. He cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortably warm, and added awkwardly, "It's nice to get back into the sunshine. Didn' realize how dark it was back there 'til we got out."
"Tell me about it," Evie said wryly. And sounding more like her usual self again. "I swear the smell of mildew is following me around. I'm going to find the biggest patch of grass and roll in it. Maybe that'll get it out."
Toby laughed aloud, shoulders shaking and arm around his stomach. Evie's answering laughter shook the vestiges of awkwardness away. The boat slowed, engine cutting as it coasted towards the docks. Footsteps sounded down the deck behind them as Pascal approached.
"Well now, this is a breath o' fresh air," Pascal said as he came onto the deck. Toby and Evie turned from the view.
"We were just sayin' the same," Toby agreed while Evie leaned back on the rail and lifted her nose to the warm breeze.
"You two willin' t'lend a hand while I guide us the rest o' the way in?" Pascal asked, sea-green eyes twinkling in his weathered face.
"Willing and able!" Evie declared, flexing an arm. Toby just nodded slightly, smirking at the return of that energy.
As Evie and Toby helped Pascal tie down the boat to the dock, the thudding and slapping of hurrying, sandalled feet on sand reached their ears. Toby barely caught the wince and grimace Evie made from the corner of his eye when the Toucans hurried down the docks.
"Pascal! Pascal, is there–" "Did she send anything!?" Both Sue and Samson stood on the dock below, hands clasped between them as their gazes flitted over the deck, as if hoping their daughter, that Selena girl, would pop out from below. The trio walked down the gangplank towards them, Evie reaching into her pocket to pull out a slightly crumpled envelope which she smoothed nervously over her thigh.
"No, sorry 'bout that, Toucans. She's doin' mighty fine over there. Makin' lots o' friends and dancin' most nights. But she ain't said none to me," Pascal said, taking off his hat and lowering his head in shame.
"Excuse me, do you remember me?" Evie interrupted with an awkward wave and grin.
"Oh, yes. It's Ellen?" Sue said, her mind obviously elsewhere.
"Evelyn, I think?" Samson corrected with a smile at Evie as his arm wrapped around his wife's thin waist.
"Yeah, Evelyn. Evie, really. I've only been by the one time, and um… maybe Selena hasn't talked to Pascal, but…" Evie tried to smooth out the envelope one more time, guilt written across her face as she gnawed on her bottom lip and shuffled in place, before finally holding it out. "She gave this to me to give to you. Days ago, really. I'm so sorry I couldn't come back sooner."
Sue's eyes widened, her shaking hand reaching out to take the envelope. Samson didn't quite have the composure of his wife, tears slipping down his tanned face unabashedly as he smiled and squeezed Sue's waist again.
"I tol' you she'd send us a word, Sue."
"Thank you, Evelyn, so much. This…it wasn't fair to you, t'put you in the middle like she has, but… thank you so much for bringin' it t'us," Sue said thickly, quickly clearing her throat after speaking.
Evie shook her head and shrugged a shoulder jerkily. Toby carefully set his hand on her shoulder to gently squeeze reassuringly as a tight grimace stretched down the corner of her mouth. Auburn eyes glanced to him and away, but the tension under his hand loosened. Just a little.
"We woulda gone ourselves to Castanet, but…" Samson lifted a hand and dropped it.
Sue smirked wryly, blinking away the sheen in her dark eyes. "If she felt she had to run away, then draggin' her back would really make her hate us."
"But don' let us worry you with our family troubles," Samson said, thumbing away the tears from his eyes and grinning brightly. "You here to buy anything?"
"Just fishin' for us," Toby said smoothly, holding up his tackle-box. He hoped to get Evie out of there quickly, before the unpleasantness of the entire situation ruined that shine Evie had had just moments ago. Someone needed to give that teenager back in Castanet a cold dose of reality. Who corners an almost complete stranger to interfere in sensitive family matters? It had his hackles rising in a way few things did. "Don't let us keep you from your family matters. I'm sure y'all are itching for alone time," he managed to drawl without any incriminating inflection, only a small gesture of his hand towards the envelope.
The Toucans glanced at the letter still clutched in Sue's tight grip.
"I… um. See you later?" Evie said, rubbing the back of her neck. Toby wasn't going to sigh. Honestly, he wasn't.
Sue and Samson nodded.
"I'll have a pipe on my boat, don' mind me none," Pascal said. He set his cap back on his head and made his way back up onto the boat.
"If you want some good fishin', go south, straight down that way. There's a good spot for barracuda that way," Sue said with a jerk of her chin in the direction she meant.
As if Toby hadn't used to come here at least once a week just a couple years back. Sighing is rude. They're obviously not in the right headspace for details, he told himself firmly even as his smirk sharpened.
"And Evelyn," Samson started. Evie jerked in place and looked back at him, arms crossed behind her back and hands clasped around her elbows. "Evie. Thank you."
"Yes, thank you, Evie," Sue agreed. Both were fervent and earnest with their words and had Evie's cheeks flushing pink before she ducked her chin.
With thanks and waves, Evie and Toby headed where Sue suggested (since he was planning on going that way anyway). The Toucans were already walking back to the house/inn/shop, heads bent over the envelope and crowded close together, before grass became stone under their feet. The rocky path was dry and smooth, and Toby walked beside Evie quietly. He caught her darting glances at him, but he just walked on without addressing it. She'd let herself be heard when she was ready for it, no doubt about that.
Then, a small, chubby penguin waddled into view. It stopped short as it stared at them, cocking its head to train a beady eye on them. Evie froze mid-step, eyes wide and both hands slapping over her gaping mouth. Toby looked over at her, bemused and smirking.
"Never seen one before?"
"At an aquarium! Or zoo! Not just walking around!" Evie hissed from behind her hands. "It's so cute!"
Ah, yes, the penguin is the cute thing, he thought in growing amusement. Her whole body fairly vibrated with her excitement, hands still over her mouth while she bounced on the balls of her feet and rocked back onto her heels repeatedly, but the penguin was the cute thing here.
"Mhm. I gotta little goby for it in here," Toby said after a second and keeping his amusement hidden. He opened his tackle-box and took out a tightly wrapped paper parcel he'd put there himself. It was barely bigger than his hand, but the penguin immediately perked up. It flapped its little flapper-wings and made a noise like a squeaking-squawk and toddled towards Toby, yellow beak already wide and begging. "Already smell it, do ya, little guy?"
Evie watched in awe as Toby squatted, balancing on the balls of his feet, and opened the paper slowly and carefully. The penguin didn't even pause at his motions, squeak-squawking louder. It stopped almost in his lap, beak clacking impatiently. Toby chuckled quietly and deftly tossed the goby straight into the penguin's waiting gullet. It swallowed the fish whole and didn't hesitate to crowd closer, squawking its demands for more and trying to search his now empty hands where the fish always seemed to come from.
"It knows you!" Evie gasped in realization.
Toby's smirk softened a little as he patted the preening penguin's head. It plucked at his billowing sleeves and squawked again when no fish could be found. "I wasn't sure he'd still be here. It's been more'n a year."
The penguin shook all over and waddled away a moment later, barely glancing at Evie.
"If you want to, you can feed him again later? Meet him for yourself?" Toby offered while getting to his feet.
"Yes, I want to!" Evie said eagerly.
They continued down the rocky outcropping, and quickly set their extra weight and items to the side. Sunlight beat down on them with little to no relief from a good breeze; only a weak, thin breeze swept over waves that glinted bright enough to blind. Evie struggled to get the slippery fish bait on the hook, the fierceness of her frown broken by the tip of her tongue caught between her teeth.
She kept shuffling and rocking back and forth, as if unable to keep still. It took all of Toby's self-control not to smile, or reach over to hold her still like she were an antsy Paolo. He caught her peeking over at him a few times, but he kept his eyes on the water until his quiet and the ocean's serenity seemed to seep into Evie. They caught a few halibut each, every catch causing Evie to shriek and laugh as she yanked too hard while reeling them in.
But like most fishing trips, the lull between bites came, and Evie had settled on the rock, bare feet skimming over the surface just barely not causing any ripples. And for once, Toby felt the need to break the easy, comfortable silence. He knew that Renee and Evie had spent the rest of the day before together, that whatever had been left unsaid at the house had most likely been said when the two were alone. There would have been more of an awkwardness between them if some of that leftover tension hadn't been resolved, he was pretty sure. Besides, neither one of those women were the kind to let things dwell.
But what about the things left unsaid from him? He'd told Renee… had finally told someone that he knew whatever he had with Evie was ephemeral. That poking at it, at her, could break the connection building so far. Then, he looked over at her, saw her squinting into the sunlight with nose scrunched slightly, and couldn't help but want to poke.
To be impatient for once.
"You said something," Toby began abruptly. So abruptly, he could see that absentminded squint become a pensive frown, her bewildered expression turning towards him a moment later. Realizing how out of the blue it must've seemed to her, he added with carefully weighted words, "Yesterday, you mentioned something. About… not expecting to stay here in Castanet."
"Oh." Her eyes widened minutely and she quickly turned back to the sea, eyes on the gently rippling surface. "Yeah. I just thought I would come here, maybe stay half a year, and go back in the fall, honestly. I didn't think… I didn't think…" she trailed off with a tiny, disbelieving smirk on her lips. "I didn't think it would be real," she whispered.
Toby looked over at her, opened his mouth, then shut it and looked away. In that moment, he remembered every glance of her eyes away from the people around her and the strange slips of tongue that sounded like a reply to a conversation only she could hear. As her hands tightened around the grip of her fishing pole, knuckles whitening and line shivering, Toby could hear her voice, muffled and slurred with sleep, and the strange trilling bell that had answered in the middle of the night.
Could see the glow against the cup of her palm and the indentation of the pillow.
There were other questions he was too scared to ask out loud or even put into words inside his mind. The very words shied away from him, so he couldn't grasp them inside his brain even when they itched incessantly at him. They were the kind of words that could break a spell, and he didn't know how to deal with the consequences of breaking said spell. Was he ready for it? Was he ready to truly admit that he… he believed? In a way he never thought he could?
He looked at her, and the taut line of her mouth and shoulders, and knew– no.
Not yet.
"Then why come here? To ranch for 6 months and go back to school… that's a strange kinda sabbatical," Toby finally said with a twitch of a shrug.
She stared at his profile, her mouth twisted to the side and her eyebrows flying behind the fringe of her bangs. When she slowly reeled in her line, gnawing now on her bottom lip, Toby did the same just a moment later. Their rods were put to the side and Evie tucked one leg as close as she could to her torso, arms wrapping around it. Toby slowly lowered himself and tucked his legs into a simple criss-cross, elbows resting on his knees, gaze on the same view as Evie.
Facing southeast as they were, the sun had finally moved behind them. Only the constant glare of its light burned into their eyes.
"I told you… about my ma– my parents and the fight we had before college…"
Toby nodded without a word, and she took another breath. His hands clasped over his lap and he ignored the triumph crowing in his mind. Another confidence shared meant one more brick laid. One more tie to bind them. Something that made that ephemeral connection solid. Now wasn't the time for that, though.
"Obviously… obviously that wasn't it. It'd been building up for years, you know?" she continued, wry and deprecating. "My whole life all I heard was how much like someone else I was. I was never just me. I'm stubborn, like my mother. I look just like my twin–" He visibly startled at that, a huff of surprise escaping him and making Evie chuckle. "Yeah, I have a twin. And of course, no one could tell us apart, we were just alike, both naughty little troublemakers until high school. Anyway. Then, obviously me wanting a degree, everyone else thought was me trying to finish my dad's old dream that he gave up to marry my mother. It wasn't about me, it wasn't my life. It wasn't me trying to make something of myself that wasn't about them.
"At least from the outside. I made sure my parents knew exactly what I wanted." Her mouth twisted into a pained grimace, eyes narrowing in anger. "I was a di- jerk. I said a lot of things and I thought a lot more. About how I had to be better and do better and just not be them. My mother threw it in my face, and I got mad, but she was right, I wanted to be better than them."
"Evvy," Toby reached over, unable to hold back when her head dropped to her knee. His hand fell over her clenched fist lying on the stone between them. A thin, quiet hiss seethed past her teeth, but she didn't pull away. "Maybe we're more alike than I thought," he said, his free hand stretching out to gently tuck a curl behind her ear. A red-rimmed, but dry, eye peeked over at him incredulously. "I couldn' give up who I was for my parents, and neither could you. We both ended up here, in Castanet, tryin' to find out who we are."
Shock and then something pleased darted over the part of her face he could see. Just barely, her usually too-easy smile tipped up the corner of her mouth. It faded again and he barely kept from pressing his thumb to her lips to hold it there.
"You… you're different, though. You knew yourself, Tobes. But me? I thought college would be the answer, a degree I could wave in people's faces to acknowledge me, but the closer I got, the less it meant anything. And now I'm here, and fall is getting closer, and a part of me is desperate to start running again, because what if I already messed it up?"
"I think you're being too hard on yourself as well as givin' me too much credit," Toby said wryly. Evie's mouth wrenched open, but he just chuckled at the righteous indignation that finally had her sitting up straight and ready to battle any bad word against a friend of hers, the loyal warrior that she was. "My dream was a simple one, still is, really," he explained quickly. "I had a place t'come to, a noble reason all laid out for me. You? You've got the world at your feet and you want to put your mark on it. That's a big wish. Much bigger'n just wantin' to do right by my uncle and enjoy a simple, rustic sorta life."
Evie frowned, her mouth opening and closing, before she huffed loudly. And grinned, vibrant and wide and so Evie, it had relief filling him at last. "Well, that saying about the grass and greener comes to mind."
He laughed, maybe a little too hard, but she chuckled with him while her shoulder bumped into his. Only to stay pressed against his side. Toby raised an arm, hesitated, and then gently wrapped it around her, his hand resting on her far shoulder.
"I want to stay, I want this to be me." He almost missed her quiet whisper. He had to crane his neck slightly, to barely glimpse her downward profile and the fierce look in her eyes and the tremble of her mouth. "But… there are so many what ifs, and I'm… not sure I ever want to get to the end. I want to know… but I'm so scared of what I'll find…"
"You're only twenty-one," Toby said. She tensed under his arm, but at the gentle squeeze of his hand, she exhaled and the tension leaked out with the low breath. "You have more than enough time to follow those what ifs and see which one makes you happiest. Don't rush finding your answers."
Auburn eyes met his and he pulled away just a hair's breadth at how suddenly she was so close to him. He could see the faint freckles on her ruddy, brown skin, the fan of her dark black lashes around her startled eyes. Eyes that glanced over his face in a searching gaze. Searching for he didn't know what, but it had his pulse pounding a little faster, and a little hotter. Too aware of his hand on the curve of her shoulder and the heat of her pressed against him, so familiar to him now, but its novelty not yet lost.
"That's a serious look on your face," he noted, teasing to hide his growing puzzlement, one eyebrow rising.
Evie grinned and reached up. Even more startling, her thumb stroked the arch of his eyebrow and her grin became the sharp smirk that had his heart thumping too hard, mouth drying.
"Just thinking very serious thoughts," she replied, as teasing as his words had been, with none of his confusion.
Confusion that dissolved into a puddle in his brain when she braced her hands on his shoulders and swung her leg over his lap. She hovered over him, balanced on her knees, while he quickly stretched his legs out in front of him and his hands automatically found the dip of her waist and the curves of her hips. Toby stared up at her, eyes widening when Evie leaned down close enough for her hair to brush his forehead and her breath to warm his parting mouth.
"Serious thoughts?" he said, voice hoarser than he'd expected. "Is that what we're calling them now?"
Her hands, roughened with the blisters and calluses an entire season of ranching and farming had caused, skimmed up the column of his neck to cup the line of his jaw. Thumbs brushed over the apple of his cheeks. Only the quiet exhale of her breathe over his parted lips forewarned him, since his eyes had unconsciously fallen shut the moment she'd leaned in close.
It had been enough time now that he'd lost count just how many kisses they'd shared. That realization bowled him over, his hands gripping at her waist to anchor himself.
Maybe it was a bad idea to anchor himself here, to her, even metaphorically.
But it already felt too late.
…
She had no idea why she was doing this, here, right now, but she knew she liked it. She liked the sun beating down on the back of her neck and the tight grip of Toby's hands on her waist. The waves against the stone were beating almost in time with the beating of her pulse. Until his hands smoothed up along her ribs and her heart sped. Evie sank her hands into soft, silver hair and pressed closer, close enough to press together from belly to chest. Her knees scraped over stone as it dug into her skin uncomfortably, but she was too entranced with the taste of Toby's mouth and the hot pressure of his hands to stop.
Instead, a hand gripped his hair a little tighter as she settled onto his lap. Her other hand dragged down his chest, short nails scraping over cotton just enough to feel the planes of his torso. His stomach, soft and a little pudgy under his shirt, quivered under her fingertips. Their lips broke apart as they gasped for breath, hot and humid. On a whim, Evie dragged her mouth down the line of Toby's jaw, skin smooth and only the faintest hint of stubble there. When her mouth paused on his pulse, relished in the rapid thrumming against her sensitive lips, he whispered her name in a tone so low and hoarse it had liquid heat melting into the pit of her stomach.
This was just another form of running. She knew it. She knew she was running from the words she'd swallowed down, or just hadn't let herself say, and from feelings she was terrified to acknowledge despite how stupidly obvious they were. She was running from him, even as she rocked on his lap and tasted salt on his suntanned skin.
But running this way, scraping teeth over his throat to hear him gasp and feeling the jump of his muscles under her questing fingers, was heady. Addictive. Thinking about it was scary, so she wasn't going to. Not when she had the chance now to have him pinned exactly where she wanted him. No little sprite to interrupt, or friends to bang on her door. Only the sunshine and the sea and him.
His hands slipped under her shirt, stroked up the line of her back and had her arching like a cat as she moaned. His hands on her bare skin was like turning a switch, striking a Pavlovian response in her that had her squirming, rocking forward, anxious for friction and pressure between her legs. A chuckle brushed over her ear, warm and low and shudder-inducing.
"Sure you know what you're doin', Evvy?" he asked, words choppy and panting.
"I definitely know what I'm doing. If you're in doubt, I must be doing something wrong," Evie retorted, voice just as reedy. She lowered her hands to his shirt hem and brushed her nose over his.
His breath sucked in sharply, hands freezing in place, before he slipped his thumbs under the band of her bra and slid them around her torso to rest under her breasts. Their eyes met, her grinning impishly and him raising his eyebrow despite his heated cheeks. He looked so mussy and unkempt in the wake of her restless hands, and it had her biting the corner of her mouth.
"No doubt here," Toby said. Evie laughed and moved to kiss him again, rucking up his shirt.
The loud crash and resulting squawking had both Toby and Evie almost toppling over in shock. Evie shrieked a little, falling to the side and grabbing at him to keep herself up. They fell, anyway, into a heap of tangled limbs. They looked around wildly for the source of the noise to see the penguin– the penguin!– rooting through the cooler it had turned over in a search for more fish.
"Snapplejacks! Your fish!" Evie exclaimed, trying to wriggle off him and making them both yelp when knees and elbows got banged around.
"He can't eat 'em all, Evvy, jus– calm down!" Toby said, half-laughing and half-groaning.
They finally managed to get untangled and Toby got the penguin the fish it wanted and everything settled. Evie snapped the cooler lid back in place with a sigh, glancing over to where Toby was wiping off his hands. Their eyes met and they flushed dark red.
"I– um– Sorry, if I–" Evie babbled, rubbing the back of her head.
"No, it's– I wouldna–" Toby tried to reassure just as awkwardly.
Thankfully, another interruption came in the form of Evie's stomach rumbling loudly. Her ears burned with her blush, but they both laughed, breathless and a little too high-pitched.
"It's a good thing I got lunch ready 'fore we left Castanet. I hope you like tuna?" Toby said, going for the tackle-box-slash-rucksack he used.
"I pretty much love fish… when I don't have to gut them myself, that is," Evie said with a sardonic twist of her mouth. And like that, the mood changed completely and Toby's easy chuckle returned.
"There are those similarities again," he said, amused and teasing. He handed over the small bento and plastic chopsticks, and Evie smiled as she took it.
"Yeah, guess so."
It seemed too normal and too surreal at once to calmly bring rice to her mouth and chew and repeat. Her heart still thudded too hard whenever she glanced at Toby from the corner of her eye, she still unconsciously rubbed her thighs together and fidgeted against the cool, rough surface of the stone beneath her, and her skin still felt too tight and too hot. So much too in her feelings. Evie chuckled softly and picked up the deliciously red and perfectly cut tuna to nibble on. She hummed happily around her mouthful and eagerly polished it off.
"I had some good sashimi in the city, but nothing beats fish this fresh. It's fantastic, Tobes," Evie said, biting on the end of her chopsticks and savoring the lingering taste.
"The credit goes to the fish this time," Toby replied, chuckling husky and low.
There was a shiver of awareness down her spine at his lower register. A hint that he was still reeling, still just as affected as her, though a quick glance at him showed nothing on his face or mannerisms. Deliciously rumpled though he was. She couldn't help but wonder, as she quietly chewed at the last of rice and her cheeks burned hot, what would've happened if she hadn't been sabotaged by a penguin's stomach, as well as her own. What would it be like, just her and him under the sun and sky, with the water lapping against stone or sand nearby? She fidgeted again and realized that maybe, just maybe, something like that wasn't only for being spontaneous or once in a while. Or when she just didn't want to deal with words anymore. It was something that she really honestly wanted and it had her skin burning from hairline to toes.
She'd never wanted to be so… so exposed before. Sex, any kind thereof, was for under the covers with the lights turned off. Not that she'd been exactly worldly or racked up a lot of notches before now, but… did she always want something like that? Always want someone like Toby, who let her take the lead and to explore more of herself than she'd previously allowed?
Evie shook her head wildly and then shook herself all over to get the thought out of her mind.
"Evvy?"
"N-nothing!" Evie squeaked, waving her chopsticks in the air and almost tipping her bowl into the sea. Toby's eyebrow rose and Evie spluttered wordlessly at the look. It's written all over my face, I know it! Holy Glow Cloud, strike me down now! She wailed in her head. "Just something stupid. Don't worry about it, it's totes nothing. All shiny over here, yup."
Her lips popped on the 'p' and she looked everywhere but Toby's face.
"I s'pose everyone needs their secrets," Toby said, humor obviously lacing his words.
Evie brayed a horrible donkey-like laugh and slapped a hand over her mouth. Toby just laughed with her, chopsticks and bento box held securely on his lap. When Evie finally calmed down and Toby reached for her box, she stopped him with a touch to his hand.
"Actually, um, thanks. About earlier," she muttered. She blushed again and scowled at Toby's bewildered expression and pink cheeks. "I meant with the talking and secrets and everything. I… I really don't know where my head's at, I don't even know what I want. So thank you… for listening and saying things I needed to hear."
"Evvy, I'll be here whenever you need me. I can keep your secrets," Toby promised. Evie glanced away, knowing just how many secrets were left. His calloused and warm fingers nudged her chin to bring her back around to face him. His green eyes were cool and mild, but her heart thudded painfully under his gaze. "You don't need to explain yourself. I don't need excuses. Just let me be your support, however I can be."
"Toby," Evie whispered, mouth twisting to the side as her eyes stung. "I l…" She stuttered and broke off. Her guts knotted as those butterflies came back to beat wildly against her ribs and sternum, got caught in her throat. "Let me be the same for you sometimes?" she finished quietly. The real words stayed trapped and unsaid.
"Yeah," he agreed in a murmur as softly as her.
The gentle touch of his hands on her face and his lips on hers made her wonder if he heard them anyway.
A/N: I am SO sorry this hiatus went on for so long! It honestly wasn't intentional. That internship was hell on my energy and time, and then I didn't even get the job that I was so pumped about so I lost all motivation for a while. But I'm back in the game and ch30 is already in the works. :) Get ready for emotional heaviness, my friends. Warning: Evie will be increasingly unlikeable in certain instances.
Next Update: 06/06/2018 (maybe 5/30)
