Ending Forecast
Soon after the intrepid newcomer, Evelyn, left their little coffee chat, Julius saw an opening for himself to leave. Mira was actually smiling, had been smiling without a break for the past three minutes of Dr. Jones, a.k.a. "call me Cal", telling stories of his ludicrous college students. Mira's smile might be a small thing, barely a curve at the corner of her lips, but it was a smile neither melancholy nor politely impersonal.
Perhaps leaving her alone with the handsome gentleman would only be a good stepping stone further from her grief. He'd be getting ahead of himself to think it would move beyond this casual, not-quite-flirting, but it was still a good thing.
"This was such a lovely evening, but like Evelyn, I've got a long walk home ahead of me. I'll go before what little light there is completely disappears," Julius said as he placed his empty cup on its saucer.
"Oh! It is getting late. Will you need to go, too, Cal?" Mira asked in sudden concern.
Calvin touched his fingers to his forehead, as if tipping his hat– a hat that was hanging on the coat rack at the moment. "If you don' mind me encroachin' on your company a mite longer, I could stay a bit and help pick up."
"But you're a guest!"
"A guest who ate his weight in pie," Cal drawled with a smirk. Julius and Mira chuckled quietly.
"I'm happy to leave you in such capable hands, Auntie," Julius said, drawing out the first vowel sound in "auntie". He leaned down to kiss her cheek, her head automatically angling to the side for him.
"What did I say about calling me auntie?" Mira warned, an amused glitter in her eyes.
"That it made you feel ageless and adored," Julius quipped. Mira pffted and flapped a hand at him. "I'll see you again soon enough, Mira, Cal."
Their farewells and cheering smiles bolstered him through the first, abrupt gust of rain and wind in his face when he stepped out. He tugged his heavy waterproof pea coat a little tighter, blessing the expensive, warm cloth and tight stitching that had gone into it. He flipped the broad, wide collar up high around his face and raised his dark red umbrella high. As much as Julius loved his more fashionable, fur-lined coat, there was no chance he'd wear it out in this weather.
He'd just crossed the little footbridge and paused in front of the General Store, wondering if he should get that second and much nicer knife set before it closed (that knife set would really help out chopping into new, fresh pumpkins next season…), when the door to the Carpenters' place opened. Light flooded the muddy road ahead and a bright yellow umbrella decorated in parading ducks in galoshes proceeded an all too familiar blue-clad and blue-haired young woman. Right on the heels of her blue rain boots was none other than Luke (really, it shouldn't be that surprising, it was his home), whom had a large pot tucked under his arm and battered water-proof hat hanging off his back.
"A'course I'm walking ya down to town! I'd do it even if my Pops wouldn' tan my hide for not offering. Least I could do."
His voice carried, the loud buffoon, even with the rain and the wind. Candace raised her umbrella over his head, her arm actually having to stretch a bit. She stepped closer, her voice too quiet to carry, but her expression was pleased and shy, a pink flush to her face as she looked up, straight into his eyes, smiling as she spoke. Luke's moronic, goofy grin was spreading over his face, even as he ducked awkwardly under the umbrella, shoulder bumping hers.
Just before the door closed, the warm yellow glow fell over her face, lighting up her sweet features. The unabashed smile, the frank gaze into Luke's eyes, the easy way she held herself despite the blush on her cheeks, all of it stole Julius' breath away. It gutted him right there in the mud and rain. Adrenaline pumped in his limbs impotently; the need to rush forward warring with numbing shock. He wanted to desperately catch that smile for his own, horde it out of sight of any others to steal away.
Because he remembered that smile.
The two blunettes disappeared into the gloom, the light of Luke's flashlight bouncing and darting around the road as he surely gesticulated wildly to whatever he was saying.
And Julius was still trapped by his own impotence, watching them walk on oblivious to his presence lurking some ways behind them thanks to the stormy dark. As much as his heart still hammered in his chest and the need to race after Candace lingered like his favorite perfume, he couldn't move. Locked in place by bitter memories and regret. Regret that that he'd surely lost that smile he used to have, years and years ago. Not lost… no… more like smashed under his expensive heeled boot, treated like a worthless glass bead so no one else could see the true gem there. It had taken a cowardly flight as far away as possible to separate himself from his actions all those years ago.
He sighed and ran his hand over his mouth, heart aching. Their light was long gone and his feet automatically carried him forward, even as he delved deep into thought.
London, Paris, New York, Tokyo, Seoul, and more. He'd seen so much, met so many, and created beautiful things, helped create a more beautiful world as they'd always dreamed of, when they were young and he hadn't torn that smile away from her. Before he'd left her stammering and broken and grief-stricken and lonely– so lonely– in this tiny, nothing of a town with her grandmother and her mother's gravestone.
He'd sworn to himself that one day he'd marry her, that she was the love of his life, and no one else would ever compare. What a stupid little fool he'd been back then to forget that.
His shoulders bowed under a weight that wasn't just made by his heavy coat. Shame-soaked regret had his feet dragging– figuratively, even in his introspective state Julius would never drag his shoes, especially through mud. In glaring clarity, he reminisced over the last few times he'd (purposefully) crossed his path with Candace's. Despite his best intentions, he'd done nothing to fix what was broken between. In fact, he'd probably made it worse. Somehow, his worst impulses reared and his foot was lodged firmly down his own throat, it was so far in his mouth.
What can I do to make it right? Is my last chance slipping through my fingers?
Or worse, had he never had another chance to begin with?
He made it to Flute Fields on autopilot, barely registering the relief mixing with disappointment when he realized he'd missed the blue twosome in his stupor. He barely, vaguely, recalled passing by Evelyn's lit up and rather homey-looking shack, but he hadn't hesitated or turned his head towards the town. The bridge was under his boots now, and the idea of going straight home now, alone and mind-reeling and heart-sore, was not appealing. What he needed was someone cheerful, but calming and steady. Toby, despite their head-butting over lifestyles, was usually Julius' confidant (before and after his travels abroad), and one of his oldest and dearest friends, who knew how to keep secrets and be patient. But there was one other he was just as close to and she lived nearby (and far from Harmonica Town where he'd certainly make an ass of himself in his current state).
Walking into Marimba and out of the storm was like finding where summer had hidden itself. It was brightly lit and cheery, with flowers and saplings filling the air with sweet fragrance. The sweetness was complemented with the musky scent of earth and vegetables. Since it was far past the shop's open hours, the register and shop area were empty of people, but Julius could hear Anissa's raspy, sultry tones from the doorway. He shook his umbrella over the doormat and listened closely, hoping it wasn't Ruth or Craig on the other side of the conversation without much hope.
"Just admit you're a scaredy-cat, 'Nissa," taunted Taylor's all too-smug and squeaky pre-teen voice.
Looks like Julius was in luck, then. Taylor, he could handle. The child was easily bewildered by his presence and snuck away quickly when sharing the same space.
"Don't be silly, Tay! It's j-just thunder," Anissa tried to laugh off, the slight tremor in her voice giving her away.
"And yet, I very distinctly remember someone hiding under my kitchen table," Julius teased, leaning against the doorway that led into the more private, family area of Marimba. Anissa squeaked and spun around, a hand over her heart, as Taylor almost fell into his hot cocoa mug with all his laughing.
"I was wondering where she was yesterday!" Taylor crowed, bright blue eyes gleaming.
"I was five!" Anissa exclaimed, coming over to cuff the back of Taylor's head. He just buried his face in his cocoa, eyes still glittering with mirth at her expense. "Juli! It's so good to see you, even if you are teasing me. What are you doing out and about so late?"
She was at his side and shuffling him into a chair before he even manage to completely divest himself of his coat.
"Just coming home from the store. It just seemed like a poor night to go home alone," Julius told her with a self-deprecating little smile. Anissa tsked.
"It is at that, and you're always welcome here if you feel a little lonely. I'll heat up some more cocoa for you," Anissa said, already moving towards the stove.
"I should say no, since I had more than enough coffee and cocoa with my aunt and the doctor visiting, and then Evelyn, too. But it's too wet and dreary to say no," Julius said. Anissa's eyes widened and a faint blush stole over her cheeks.
"Dr. Wang? He was visiting Ms. Mira?" Anissa asked, sure hands pouring milk and chocolate into a pot as she spoke.
"Oh, no, not that one. The new fancy one, with the accent and the…" Julius gestured through the air and winked, "the everything."
"I'm pretty sure Nissa thinks Dr. Jin's the doctor with the," Taylor mimicked Julius' gesture, "everything."
The very slight, almost unnoticeable flush on Anissa's face suddenly became very noticeable. "Tayor!" she hissed.
Julius just chuckled and clasped his hands on the tabletop. "It's not exactly a secret… unless… did you mean it to be, Nissa dear?"
"Oh! You're impossible! Both of you!" Anissa said, waving her wooden spoon in their direction, her face downright scarlet.
Taylor snickered, unrepentant. Julius just raised an eyebrow and smiled to take the sting out of his teasing. She huffed and then began stirring the cocoa, shoulders a little more lax than before and her blush fading.
"I was gonna ask Nissa to make a fort with me, but if you're here, you prob'bly wanna gossip and trade make-up tips or something," Taylor said, narrowing his catlike eyes at Julius. Julius had, in fact, spent many an hour discussing and practicing make-up application with Anissa in the past, so despite the boy's disgusted tone, it wasn't some sort of dig in that way. (Oh, yes, Julius knew the difference nowadays, and he was well-versed in shutting that attitude down. It was nice to see that Nissa's brother wasn't that kind of young boy.)
"Probably, want to, Taylor, enunciate properly."
"You don't if you forget I'm around," Taylor said mutinously.
"Actually, a fort sounds like such a whimsically wonderful idea," Julius interrupted smoothly. "I don't think Ruth would appreciate my muddy trousers on her clean cushions and blankets, however," Julius said wryly.
"I'm sure I have something you could wear if you really wanted to, Juli. Sweatpants or something," Anissa offered. Julius felt the contortion on his face even as the two Marimba siblings laughed out loud at his grimace. "Sorry, sorry, forget I ever mentioned the 's-word'!" She giggled behind her hand, tapping the wooden spoon on the pot and setting it on one of those porcelain spoon trays. She put a mug down, bright purple and chipped on the bottom from the one time he'd dropped it when he was twelve. It made him smile to see she still had that old thing.
"Perhaps during the next stormy night, I'll come better equipped," Julius said instead, smiling gratefully when Anissa approached.
Just as she was setting the mug down, another sky-splitting CRACK of thunder sounded over their heads. She gave a small, bitten-off shriek and the mug clattered on the surface of the table. Julius hurried wrapped both his hands around the mug and Anissa's hand.
"It's all right to be a little frightened," Julius said gently as Anissa's pale face dropped to hide behind a curtain of her long, beautiful hair. "We all have our phobias."
"Yeah, sis. I… I still like the night light on, and if you tell Chlo' or Paolo, I'll rub your fur coat in the mud, Rosens," Taylor warned with a red face, sounding both dangerous and ridiculous when his voice cracked and squeaked somewhere in the middle of his threat.
"Of course, and I would most likely cry if he did so," Julius said, just barely refraining from eye-rolling. Which would be beneath him.
"I believe it," Taylor muttered under his breath.
"Thank you, both of you, but… I still feel so silly and… childish," she whispered the last word and glanced away.
Julius squeezed his hands around hers. She glanced back at him and he smiled at her. "If he can't see how amazing and wonderful you are, it's his loss. You are not silly nor childish any more than any of the rest of us."
"Juli…" Anissa smiled, eyes shining, and wrapped her free hand around his. "We really do need to sit and gossip for a while, don't we?"
Julius' smile sharpened into something disparaging and wry. "I doubt I have anything as encouraging to discuss. If Jin isn't half-mad about you, I'll eat my fur coat."
"UUUUGGHHH, that's my cue. If y'all gonna just talk about boys and girls and kissy stuff, I'll go make the fort myself," Taylor announced, chair scraping loudly over the wooden floor.
"You all and going to, don't waste that private school learning!"
"UGH!"
Anissa and Julius chuckled softly and slowly untangled their hands. When Taylor was gone, the door to the living area closed behind him, Anissa met Julius' eyes again.
"This is about Candace, isn't it?"
That wry smirk came back. "Well, obviously. Who else did I manage to utterly ruin because I didn't, and don't, know how to be kind?"
Anissa 'tsk'ed. "Of course you're capable of being kind. You're a good person, Juli. But sometimes… sometimes some people just bring out the worst in us. Holding on to those old feelings, that belief that you two belong together, is only making it worse."
Julius barely refrained from wiping his face with his hand, remembering in time to just pinch the bridge of his nose delicately. The rain had already ruined his eyeliner enough, he didn't want to make it worse.
"I can't believe you remember that phone call."
"Juli, you were a mess and needed me to listen, so I did. I was so proud of you for admitting how wrong you'd acted, how much you regretted how you treated Candace, how you left desperate to find something good in yourself again," Anissa said, voice quiet and earnest. "When you came back, I know it was for Ms. Mira, but… a part of me hoped you would make up with Candace. We were all so close once, the four of us."
Toby, Anissa, Julius, Candace.
The four of them had been inseparable. None of them had been especially mischievous, nor loud, preferring spending the afternoon lying in the shade somewhere, reading or flipping through magazines, making castles in the sky about their future, usually while Toby was napping, though he had joined in sometimes. They'd fished together, strolled through the Marimba fields together, learned how to sew and bake and make things grow, all together.
Toby leaving for that year, and Candace's mother dying, and Anissa and Julius leaving for private school in the Fall and Spring months… one after another the knocks hit their tightknit little group. Until at last, when Julius was 18 and his college acceptance fresh in his hands, decided it was time to run. Candace and he had become close in those last few years, but the closer they got, the more Julius… picked at her. Needling her about her clothes, why couldn't she dress as nicely as the students he knew in his school? Disparaging her quiet comfort in knitting and sewing, didn't she know she wasn't a grandmother, that she was still young? And her lack of make-up and even the simplest jewelry, looking dowdy and unassuming, didn't she realize how pretty she was? Her refusal to even apply to college, too busy grieving over a woman long dead by then, but acting as though it was a wound only weeks old, didn't she know there was a life out there?
He had loved her as much as he hated her, then. Wanting her to be better than she was, wanting to drag her onto his level, into his interests and goals as if hers didn't matter to him anymore. No, not as if, they hadn't mattered anymore.
In the present, as thunder rolled above their heads and his cocoa cooled between his still rather damp hands, Julius sighed and closed his eyes.
"I was such a selfish, egotistical child. I didn't want to look back and it was so infuriating that Candace only wanted to stay there. I thought I knew better, I was smarter and better in every way, and I ruined that girl she used to be…" he whispered.
"You're still being so egotistical," Anissa said, almost sharply.
Julius jerked in his seat and stared at her. She merely met his gaze head on, jaw tightening.
"Not only that, you're being condescending and melodramatic," she added.
"W-well, then…" Julius sputtered.
Anissa huffed and leaned back, flipping a strand of hair over her shoulder, a sure sign of her thinking hard about the next words she wanted to say.
"You seem to think that it was only your effect on her that 'ruined' her. Firstly, she was never ruined, think about what you're saying, Juli. She's still the sweet, kind, and good-hearted person she'd always been, she's not ruined."
Julius actually winced at that.
"And she was always shy. She and Toby never spoke much as children, either, and while Toby was just too lazy to, Candace just didn't like to, you didn't make her shy. Her mother's death, and her father's abandonment when she was just a baby, and his utter neglect of her later, affected her just as much. You didn't exactly help with all your snide comments and put-downs, but the foundation was already there. And while you did manage to hurt her, and deeply at that, you were a boy, a boy who'd never been taught self-reflection. You made horrible mistakes and didn't want to face the consequences, so how about you stop being that boy and face them now?" Anissa demanded.
Julius blinked. "I–I try, Nissa. But… every time we're in the same room, and she refuses to look me, or anyone else in the eye, and then she stammers just as badly as she did ten years ago and–"
Anissa's eyebrow rose, a perfect mirror of her mother's 'what bullshit is this' expression.
Julius huffed. "Well, what am I supposed to do?"
"Stop looking at her and seeing a girl," Anissa said, this time softer, with more understanding. "She's not a child. She's twenty-four, Juli. She'll be twenty-five this winter. She's an adult. She's coming into her own and making her voice heard at last. Be a part of that, and stop seeing her as the girl who got away."
"But she is, Anissa. She is the girl that got away. All those dreams I made… she was always in them, how am I supposed to just forget that?" he demanded. His lips pressed tightly together. "She used to make those dreams with me, seeing Paris and creating beautiful things and doing it all together. I just want to make it right, have those dreams again."
"Those aren't her dreams anymore. She made her choice more than ten years ago, and now you have to respect that choice. It's not up to you to decide she made the wrong choice, or pity her for it. She could be so happy. I think… I think she's closer than she's ever been, so how about you let her be happy?" Anissa said.
Julius fought the sneer at the idea. He knew what Anissa meant, and she wasn't just talking about the newfound friendship with Evelyn or Luna's return with all her sharp and pointy support.
"She deserves better."
"She deserves everything she wants, Juli. Let her go, let your guilt go, and be proud of her for trying to get it."
Anissa got up and wrapped both her arms around his shoulders. He didn't even notice them shaking until her tight embrace somehow pulled him back together. Julius pressed his face to her blue kerchief, inhaled the sweet smell of flowers and homemade laundry powder and cocoa, and tried to pretend he wasn't smudging his carefully drawn eyeliner.
"We were all such good friends, Juli, before hormones and grief and pride got in the way. She deserves to have that friend back in her life. You can be that friend again, I promise, Juli."
"Thank you, Nissa," Julius whispered. That weight that he'd borne his entire way home lightened. It was still there, still tugging him down, but he knew there was an end to it. If he could finally be selfless enough, kind enough, to do the right thing.
"Why don't you finish that cocoa and come pillowfort with us anyway? I won't tell anyone you wore sweatpants."
"Only if you come visit me tomorrow and talk to me about Jin where your nosy little brother won't interrupt us," Julius bartered, carefully wiping a finger under his eyes.
Anissa blushed bright red. "Oh, dear. I thought for sure we'd forgotten all about that."
"Indeed not. Perhaps I've ruined my own love life, but I'll be thrice-cursed before I let you do the same," Julius teased, voice still a little thick and wet, but he bopped her nose and made her giggle in surprise.
Her serious ruby-red eyes met his, and he remembered when they used to pretend they were secretly twin brother and sister, even coming up with their own fake language, years before Taylor was born.
"You're going to be fine," she told him. She kissed his forehead, then flicked it painfully, and made him actually squawk. "And you're not going to pry unless I say you can."
He rubbed his forehead and laughed as she sashayed away primly.
A/N: Takes place during Talk is Treasure, chapter 32~ Surprise update! I actually wanted to post this one BEFORE Wailing for Wishes, but couldn't quite get it finished in time, and WfW was already finished, so why not!? Besides, seems like I forgot to tell you when the next update would be anyway lol. I know this is pretty dramatic and poor Julius looks like he's heading for only a sad and lonely ending, but eh, when he gets his, I hope it surprises you. And in a good way ;) (Also, if you're picking up some queer vibes, then, good! In my headcanon, Julius is probably NB, or androgynous, but likes being masculine enough to keep the "he" pronoun, at least USUALLY. And yes, he's probably pansexual. No, that's not exactly a hint for his future pairing. I don't think I've even put him and his future better half in the same scene alone together, yet. lol)
Next Update: 10/24/2018
