Chapter One: A Vacation With a Difference
One summer evening, a girl was sat alone at a computer desk in a small room with stained-glass windows in its walls. Staring at the screen while she hunched over in her seat, she wore a white T-shirt coupled with black shorts and boots. For headgear, she had a red beanie hat, goggles, and headphones, and she had orange squid tentacles in place of hair.
The computer screen was displaying a lengthy list of search results, which the girl was gradually scrolling through using the mouse wheel.
Then there came a knock on the door at the end of the short corridor leading out from the room.
"Hello?" the squid-girl turned her head. "Who's there?"
"It's me, Glitchy."
After giving a hefty sigh, the girl reluctantly said, "Okay, come in."
In response, a short, round-bodied man with brown hair and a black moustache strode in. He was clothed in white overalls, a blue shirt, and a cap of the same colour as the shirt with a red letter M on the front. In addition, his hands were clad with white gloves.
"Ah, good evening, Meggy," Glitchy greeted the girl with a wave. When he spoke, it was with a distinctive Australian accent. "Looking for somewhere to go on holiday, I presume?"
"That's correct," Meggy answered, "but I'm not having much luck so far. None of these places interest me."
"I mean, almost everyone else in the castle has found a place to go. There must be somewhere you'd like to go, surely?"
"Ehh…" Meggy shrugged. "I'll keep looking."
"Want me to help?"
"Sure."
Glitchy dragged over a spare chair from the side of the room so that he could sit down as well.
"Okay," he began, "let's go back to the beginning." He pressed and held the Page Up key on the computer keyboard until the search was back at the first result. "So I see you've typed in 'popular holiday destinations'. What's wrong with Isle Delfino?"
"It's too tropical."
"New Donk City?"
"Went there last year."
"Gosh. No offence, Meg, but perhaps you're being a bit too picky here."
After giving Glitchy the side-eye for a few seconds, Meggy put her hand on the mouse again. With a brief flick of the mouse wheel, she brought another screen's worth of results into view.
"Wait a minute," she said, pointing her finger at a thumbnail image of a red bridge. "I didn't notice that one before. San Fran...cis...co?"
"Ah yes, that seems like a nice place. You think you might wanna go there?"
There was another knock on the door.
"Hey, Glitchy, Meggy, you guys in there?"
"Yep!" they both answered.
"I'm gonna be playing some Mario Kart with Mario and Bob!" a green frog-like creature loudly proclaimed as he opened the door. "Wanna join us?"
"Sure," said Glitchy. "I just wanna help Meggy out with something first."
"Nah, it's okay," Meggy responded, "I'll be fine. You go and play with Boopkins."
"Okay then..." Rising from his chair, Glitchy proceeded to leave the room.
o - o - o
Upstairs, the two friends Boopkins had mentioned were sat in front of a large painting of something resembling a spider floating on a watery surface. A Nintendo 64 games console was plugged into the wall, the socket being just next to the lower-left corner of the painting.
"Hey guys!" said Boopkins as he opened the nearby door. "I've brought Glitchy up here to have a game with us. Who's excited?"
"Oh boy!" Mario whooped. He greatly resembled Glitchy, except that his clothes were blue and red instead of white and blue. "That makes me so happy!"
"Let's do this," said Bob, a ghost with glowing green eyes who wore a brown robe. "Time to kick some ass!"
"Ha, with those sword arms of yours?" Boopkins joked, sitting down next to him. "Fat chance!"
Stepping over to the console, Glitchy flicked the power switch, then watched as the image in the painting changed to show a spinning golden Nintendo logo on a black background. A recording of Mario's voice saying "Welcome to Mario Kart!" then played as the title screen came into view.
o - o - o
Meanwhile, in the computer room, Meggy was busy doing research into the new place she had discovered.
"Hm, what's this?" she muttered as she read the information on the screen. "So it's a city in northern California… the thirteenth most populous in the United States, huh? Let me see here..."
She scrolled down, thus bringing a list of attractions into view: the Golden Gate Bridge and Park, Union Square, Fisherman's Wharf, and so on.
Wow, this place looks amazing, Meggy thought. So how do I get there?
Minimising the browser window, she then studied the selection of icons on the desktop screen. The squid-girl moved the mouse over to one that was labelled 'Painting Control Panel' and double-clicked, bringing up a grey pop-up window featuring a range of text boxes and drop-down menus.
Oh gosh, this looks complicated. Wait, there's a search feature. Lemme try it…
She clicked in the box and started typing. She only had to go as far as 'San Fr-' before a large number of suggested locations appeared. None of them had images, so Meggy simply chose the first one.
Then another window appeared: 'Please specify a painting number,' it read, below which was another box to type in.
What's this now? Maybe I should try my lucky number?
She typed the number eleven into the box and pressed the enter key…
o - o - o
Back upstairs, the four friends – Mario, Glitchy, Boopkins, and Bob – were all sat on the floor, each of them holding a controller in their hands… well, in Bob's case, he was awkwardly using the tips of his sword-arms to press the buttons and move the analog stick. The track that they were racing on was a road in a figure-of-eight shape, with all manner of traffic vehicles hurtling towards them. Glitchy (playing as Yoshi, a green dinosaur-like being) was far out in front, while the others were experiencing great difficulty in negotiating their way through the endless onslaught of cars, trucks, and buses. In fact, Mario (playing as himself) was able to derive more enjoyment from ramming into the vehicles on purpose.
"No, Mario, what are you doing?" Boopkins said loudly. "I get that Toad's Turnpike on Extra Mode is super hard, but you'll never win if you keep doing that!"
"But this is fun!" the red 'Fat Italian' answered, before making aeroplane noises as he repeatedly drove into the fence at the side of the track. "Wheeeeee!"
"Oh yeah, bitches!" Bob yelled as Mario's fooling around allowed him to sail past. "Looks like I won't be finishing in last place for once. Choo choo, mother-..." He then collided head-first into a yellow bus. "Oh crap!"
"C'mon, slowcoaches," said Glitchy as he rounded the final corner. "Is that all you've got?"
But then, just as his Yoshi was about to cross the finish line, the painting became blank.
"Wait, what?" Boopkins gasped. "What happened?"
Getting up, the Spike stepped over to the painting and tapped on the frame.
"Careful," Glitchy advised, "I think there might be something wrong with the painting network. Don't get..."
Suddenly, a mysterious force started to pull Boopkins into the painting.
"Oh no… Heeeeelp!"
"… sucked in. Don't worry, Fishy, I'll get you out of there!" Glitchy ran over, grabbing on to Boopkins's legs.
"Oh, brother," Mario sighed. "What do we do, Bob?"
"Well, you two could help me out here for a start," Glitchy answered. "Quick, now my feet are lifting off the ground as well! Grab 'em!"
"Aaaah!" Mario yelled as he ran over, before gripping Glitchy's ankles in his gloved hands.
"But what about me?" Bob asked. "I don't have hands! I would end up cutting you if I tried to grab on..."
"Wait, I've got an idea," Glitchy responded. "Bob, I want you to go down to the computer room and ask Meggy to disable this painting. It's number eleven!"
"Got it!" The ghost then left the room through the nearest door, taking him to the spiral staircase leading down to the foyer.
At the bottom of the stairs, Bob was surprised to see Meggy walking towards him.
"Oh, there you are," he said. "Glitchy told me he wants you to get back in the computer room."
"What? Why?"
"Boopkins is getting sucked into one of the paintings. Do you know how to shut it off?"
"Oh gosh. Which painting?"
"Number eleven, he said."
Upon hearing that, the squid-girl froze in shock.
"What is it?" the ghost asked.
"Oh no… oh no no no no!"
Before long, both Meggy and Bob were in the computer room. The squid-girl was frantically looking around the screen for any sort of 'disable painting' option.
"What did you do anyway?" Bob enquired.
"I used this program to try and open up a portal so I could go on a vacation. I'm so sorry, I should've asked Glitchy for permission first. He might have shown me how to use it properly..."
"… And you set it to use painting number eleven? Why?"
"Because it's my lucky number. I didn't realise that was the one you were using to play games on!"
Bob sighed. "So how do you… y'know, close the portal?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Wait! What's that?"
Meggy then came across what she was looking for – a small button showing a portrait with a red cross laid over it. When she clicked it, it brought up a text box for her to type the number into…
Unfortunately, by that time, Boopkins was already completely inside the portal. In addition, Glitchy was in there from the knees up, with Mario still on the outside holding on to his ankles.
"Can you still hear me, Mario?" Glitchy shouted, turning his head to the side. "Are your feet still on the ground?"
"Just about!" came the reply. In fact, only the toes of Mario's shoes were still touching the floor.
"Come on! Keep pulling!"
But it was no use. No matter how hard he tried, Mario could not get his friends back out of the painting. Then, just as his hands were about to disappear through it, the canvas turned solid, forcing him to let go. The man in red was sent flying backwards until he hit the opposite wall, leaving him in a daze.
About a minute later, Bob came back, this time with Meggy in tow.
"Holy crap," the brown-robed ghost gasped. "Mario, are you okay?"
"Ohhhhh..." Mario groaned as he came to. "Bob? Is that you?"
"Yes, it's me. Where are the others?"
Mario allowed a few moments to compose himself before answering: "They both got sucked in."
"Damn it..." Bob then turned to face Meggy. "Now what?"
The squid-girl slowly stepped up to the painting, which was now completely grey, signifying that it was not currently operational. "Don't worry, guys. I'll think of something."
