A/N:Okay, firstly, thank you so much those readers that have sent me those messages asking me how I am. Yes, I'm doing fine. No emergencies here! Honestly, life just became... hectic. I'll explain in a little more detail at the bottom, but for now, let's read!
PS In honor of the sterling piece of shite that sent me these following reviews,
:I was really enjoying this until you added gay characters
:I was really enjoying this until you made some of the characters gay
I have decided to go FULL GAY. I was about ready to re-write this whole story so that EVERYBODY ends up gay. But, I controlled myself (sadly, since Candace/Evie is the true ship of my heart, lesbianhonest). So have SO MUCH GAY for the next few updates. :))))))))) Enjoy!
The Storm's End
The rain felt like it was falling sideways in thick sheets right into her face thanks to the wind blustering so hard her umbrella was tugged this way and that. Kathy regretted not changing into a pair of jeans as the dampness slid down her bare legs into her favorite red galoshes. She was wearing a pair of her oldest and most comfortable jean shorts, with the hems ragged and a large hole dragging down her right hip pocket, but it didn't make her legs less bare than her skirt did. Her raincoat was longer than the shorts.
She sighed to herself and wondered for the thousandth time since setting out from the Bar into this mess (while Selena cackled mercilessly behind her) why she opened her big fat mouth. Sure, Renee had mentioned she might go up to the Witch's house again since there wasn't anything to do in such a squall, and sure the idea of Renee spending yet another afternoon alone with that fancy, beautiful, magical princess-chick had Kathy's hackles rising, but surely she, Kathy Leigh Brass, was better than this!? Trudging through rain and thunder and mud just because of jealousy?
She stopped on the road and sighed even louder.
No, she was not better than this, obviously.
She used to be able to control herself. When Renee was obviously mooning over Fisher, Kathy dealt with it. She had Owen's secret to keep, and it wasn't like Toby was real competition. A straight-Renee meant an out-of-reach-Renee.
But a Renee mooning over some other woman? Oh hell no. If any woman had a chance, then it should be Kathy.
Slapping a hand over her face, Kathy laughed roughly at herself and her own idiocy. Having some weird idol-crush on a witch was not the same as a gay awakening, but the way she talked about the Witch-Princess, the way her eyes sparkled and her face flushed– it was maddening. It was too much like Renee's feelings for Toby had been. And now it was like watching her first real chance slip through her fingers because she was still too chicken-shit to tell Renee how she felt.
So instead of taking the bull by the horns and just telling Renee, she was doing this ludicrous day-out in a storm to catch a stupid fish. Kathy didn't even like fish all that much. Shellfish, she liked that well enough, and chicken and beef were much better, especially when barbecued; but fish was just… fish. However, it was the perfect excuse to spend most of the day and evening with Renee.
As she tramped through the slick layer of gritty mud, the dark shape of the Clarinet house– Serenity– loomed ahead and to the left. It looked even darker and more rundown in this squall and all the lights turned out. Only the dim barn and coop lights fought their way through the gloom. For the briefest moment, Kathy wondered where Evelyn had gone off to, and why wasn't she nursing a hangover with her dumb other half back in Brass Bar, before she shook the musings away. That girl was running around doing a thousand things at once and it weren't Kathy's business.
Another figure formed through the rain, a shuffling slow-gaited figure that had Kathy smirking. Perhaps it weren't her business, but ahead was someone who trying to make it his business to know Evie's whereabouts these days. Toby seemed to be lost in his own head, frowning slightly under the floppy brim of a waterproof hat, a line-less pole perched on a shoulder. Feeling playful, Kathy moved into his path, barely holding back a laugh when he automatically moved around her without so much as a wink.
"Yo, Fisher, way t'make a woman feel invisible!" Kathy barked, caving in and laughing aloud when the man reared back and twisted around to stare at her in shock.
"K-Kathy? What in the world are you doin' out here?" he asked, bewildered.
"I would say the same as ya, but I'm thinkin' you're more this'a way for the house up yonder than for the fishin'," Kathy teased, jabbing her thumb in the direction now behind her.
He glanced away, his hand automatically coming up to rub at the back of his neck. He grimaced and shivered a moment later when he accidentally dripped rain down his back.
"I figgered I'll go check on her while I was this way, that's all. I'm going down to the beach," he said, nodding his head in said direction.
"Really? The beach? You're not gonna try 'n catch that hoo-cha-macallit?" Kathy asked in confusion.
Whatever confusion she felt had nothing on Toby, who stared at her again like she was speaking in tongues. "Excuse me?"
"Hooch or hoochoo, or whatevah. The one you can only catch in a storm!" Kathy tried to explain, arms gesticulating wildly.
After a long, nonplussed moment, Toby blurted, "a huchen?"
"Yah! Thatta one!"
He blinked at her, still blank-faced and baffled. "You're… you're goin' to go try and catch a huchen? In the middle of a summer storm?"
Kathy huffed and rolled her eyes. "That's when ya gotta get 'em, right?" Toby's mouth opened, but Kathy kept right on going, "And I'm meetin' with Rey and we're fishin' t'gether."
"… Renee knows that you're tryin' to catch a huchen," Toby said dubiously.
"Of course, she's the fisherwoman. I'm just along fer moral support n' company," Kathy replied, even more exasperated. "D'ya think Imma hold her back or sommat?"
"N-no… no, I don't mean that." He passed a hand over his mouth, and for a millisecond, Kathy could've sworn she'd seen a smirk on his placid face. But the typical placidity returned and Kathy scowled in her own stewing confusion. "Well, I'd hate to interrupt your plans. Have a good time, Kathy," Toby said, features bland but tone… amused. Definitely amused and… and insinuating.
Kathy flushed from head to toe and crossed her arms over her chest. "Whassat s'pposed to mean!? It's just fishin', not some epitome of romance like ya think it is. Not everyone's just a fish brain! It's just a friend thing, not like a date thing."
Toby just chuckled behind his fist. "You're not very subtle. I wonder how you managed to lie so long?"
Kathy glared at his stupid chin. "Dunno what you mean. 'Sides, I only lied so much for– well, not fer my sake."
A small, genuine smile curved Toby's mouth. "You are one of a kind, Kathy. Not everyone could be so selfless for their friends, only those rare, brave people."
Kathy snorted loudly. "Ya mean idiots."
"Sure," he said agreeably with a shrug. Kathy burst into startled laughter. "Idiotic and brave seem to get mixed up a lot. Watch out for that," he said, foxy smirk showing itself and making Kathy grin. "Secrets really don't suit you, though. Don't quit being honest now that you've started again."
Kathy gaped, then quickly pulled herself together and tossed her head back. Wind and rain smacked her face, but she fought through it with barely a cough (a couple wet coughs). "You're not cool, Fisher. Stop tryin' to pretend. I gotta get goin', Rey's waitin'."
"Best of luck with the huchen," he called after her, sounding too amused again.
Kathy stomped through the mud, ears and cheeks burning and wide grin on her face. Toby had his head in the clouds most times and moved slower than molasses in December, but he could also sometimes hit the nail on the head. Secrets really weren't her thing. So why was she still hanging onto this one? There was a chance that Renee wasn't as straight as Kathy thought, and Toby had officially taken himself out of the running weeks ago.
She was running around in the storm being jealous and sulky and stupid, when she could just… ask Renee out.
A sort of trembling took over her whole body, her fingers clenching tight around her umbrella handle and not just on account of the wind. It was excitement and fear churning in her gut and bubbling under the surface. As she trotted over the Flute Fields Bridge, a bright pink Renee began to wave from under her big pink umbrella. Both her and the umbrella began to sway back and forth, looking pleased to see Kathy walking towards her.
"I still can't believe this was your idea," Renee exclaimed happily. "Did you eat lunch 'fore you left the Bar? I packed some things." She patted the big tackle-box under her arm. "Don't worry, I made sure the food's wrapped up tight inside, no fishy smell or taste to ruin the bread."
"Sounds great. I'm starvin'. It's hungry work fightin' through this wind," Kathy almost shouted to get her voice to carry through the storm. Renee giggled, round cheeks pink and brown eyes all but glittering.
Kathy couldn't help but follow after her, feeling dopey and giddy. Especially when Renee closed her umbrella to scoot up close under Kathy's, making sure the tackle-box was on the other side. Their hips and arms kept bumping and Kathy could see the rain sliding down Renee's jawline and clinging to her thick, dark lashes.
"I figger this is an easier way to talk than shouting," Renee said guilelessly. Kathy nodded and grinned, throat too dry to talk anyway. Right now wasn't the best time to make any sorta confession. It could wait a little longer, Kathy thought to herself, eyes on Renee's oblivious and joyful face.
...
Kathy's hands might've been numb by the time Renee reeled in her fishing line the last time, but she felt warm all over. She knew that the weight and warmth and shape of Renee's body fitting so perfectly in the curve of her own would haunt her for the next few days (or weeks… or at the worst(best) months). So much of the time they'd been pressed up close, Renee helping her reel in the line or Kathy taking a break and keeping her arm around Renee so they could chatter through the wind and occasionally chattering teeth. Every time Renee sipped from the thermos of hot tea and passed the cap over for Kathy had the bartender suppressing stupid grins. Although it was now so dark that Kathy could barely see an inch beyond the kerosene torch Renee had lit, Renee deftly tucked all her equipment away and helped Kathy, too. It had the time go by almost too fast and Kathy struggled for a reason to keep them together a little longer. Fortunately, Renee was thinking along the same lines.
"You should come t'my place for dinner! You're not working tonight, are you?"
"I don't havta, no," Kathy said, heart thumping double-time. She'd told her dad she'd be home before the after-shop-hours-rush, but he'd replied with an easygoing 'if ya decide t'stay out, that's okay, too, Kat-girl.'
She'd never blown off work like this and– even with her dad's agreeable offer– she still felt a thrill as she nodded. Blowing off work for Rey, for more time with her, even as the clock edged closer to midnight. Renee clapped her hands eagerly and smiled.
They snuck into Horn Ranch a short time later, sure that Renee's parents were long since asleep. It felt daring and ridiculous to be sneaking around like naughty children, making them both stifle giggles whenever their eyes met. They tiptoed around, peeling off soaked layers, shivering to the bones and damp in awkward places.
Fortunately, Hanna (most likely, but maybe Cain), had the foresight to throw some logs in the old wood stove. A few dying embers still glowed red hot; Kathy was quick to stir it back up and throw on some more wood while Renee hurried to heat up milk for cocoa.
"So, Mama left some stew on the stove, and some cornbread, too... but I know for a fact some of that raspberry pie Papa baked is still in the fridge," Renee told Kathy, mouth turned up into a mischievous little smirk.
"I ain't one t'turn down yer pa's raspberry pie," Kathy said with a wink that made Renee giggle adorably.
Kathy absently blew on her stinging palms, damp and scraped by the bark. Renee deftly cut the pie, poured out the cocoa, and set the oven to heat. She came to the table and Kathy quickly sat.
"The pie will be nice and hot in a minute, but we'll share a bowl of stew after so Mama doesn't fuss at me in the morning," Renee said as she handed over a mug.
Kathy reached out for it eagerly, but Renee jerked it away, gasping under her breath. She set both mugs down with a clunk and grabbed Kathy's wrists before the blonde could pull away.
"Wha? What's goin' on?"
"You're bleeding, you silly goose-egg!" Renee admonished, gently inspecting Kathy's hands.
"Huh? Really?" Kathy muttered, trying to keep her pulse from racing under Renee's warm, calloused hands. "Musta been from the wood. Didn' think it were so bad."
"You stay right there and don't move," Renee warned before hustling towards a far cabinet. Kathy eyed the steaming cocoa longingly.
"But Rey," she whined.
"Be patient for two seconds!" she replied, laughing quietly.
"I was patient all day fishin' with ya. I'm all tapped out."
Renee just shook her head and walked back with an old first aid kit– one of those old metal ones with flip-latches on the sides– and a fond smile on her face. She swung open the kit, revealing supplies much newer than the box looked, all maybe at half their original amounts.
"Whaddabout the pie?" Kathy asked worriedly, as Renee opened up alcohol swabs and readied band-aids.
"This'll be just a second, the pie just went in, shush."
Kathy snorted loudly, earning a teasing little 'tsk' from Renee. Renee then took up the first of Kathy's hands and began to gently dab at the little scrapes on her palms. Kathy carefully leaned on the elbow braced on the table top and hoped her force wasn't as dopey-looking as she felt. Watching Renee be so careful and earnest over Kathy had those butterflies she always tried to ignore come winging back in her stomach.
Water dripped from Renee's wet hair gliding down her round cheeks. Even though Kathy was still cold, and Renee still shivered occasionally, her hands were warm, roughened by farm chores and fishing, but still somehow so soft. No wonder all her animals preened under Renee's touch.
Stop being jealous of the cows, Kat!
In a desperate bid to not moon over Renee right in front of her, Kathy blurted, "Sorry, we didn't catch anything. We prob'ly needed t'stay out later or get out earlier t'catch that hucha thing."
Renee kind of... flinched while she put the things away and swept up the trash. "Um... actually..." she murmured quietly. Kathy's eyebrows rose at the bashful way Renee spoke and avoided eye contact. As Kathy looked on, Renee's face flooded with color and she got to her feet.
Knowing Renee, this strange silence wouldn't last long. Kathy leaned back and finally picked up her mug to take the first, tongue-burning sip.
"We couldn't've!" Renee finally burst out.
Yup, she'd never been good at keeping secrets. Wait–
"Sorry, what? You couldn'a what?" Kathy asked, baffled.
Renee dithered, wrung her hands, and then darted towards the oven. She came over with the pan of pie slices and set it in front of Kathy, but didn't sit. Kathy gamely didn't point out Renee forgot the forks, not with Renee looking so weirdly tortured.
"We couldn't've caught a huchen today," Renee admitted in a very small voice. "Huchen can only be caught in Spring or Winter. The time of the day wasn't great either, but it never would've happened anyway," Renee said miserably while wringing her hands again.
Kathy's jaw dropped. If it had been anyone else, or if Renee looked even a tad less wretched, Kathy's first impulse– to knock the stuffin' outta whoever thought they could pull one over on her – would've been impossible to control. Instead, Kathy huffed loudly and rolled her eyes upwards.
"What in the crapper? Rey, we've been fishin' in a thunderstorm fer what? A snipe?"
"... in a way... yes?" Renee squeaked.
Kathy slapped a palm over her face, the band-aids crinkling against the edges of her face. "But why ?!"
"Because... you wanted to go fishin' with me! You never want to and I didn't wanna tell you... no? Plus, we haven' just spent time together, just us two, in weeks!" Renee began to sway back and forth, cheeks red and mouth pouted in shame. "I was just bein' selfish. I wanted you all to myself for a day, I'm sorry."
Kathy felt her heart pitter-patter, but ruthlessly ignored it. This was just how Renee was. It didn't mean anything... "more". She got to her feet and placed her hands on Renee's upper arms, giving a little squeeze. A loud sigh of relief whooshed out of Renee and her face lit up with a smile.
"You're not mad?"
"Oh, I'm plenty mad," Renee's smile faltered, "but I'm mostly happy. I missed ya, too, sheepbrain. Next time jus' say so."
"I felt too stupid," Renee mumbled. "You missed me, too?"
"Well, yeah, I mean, I've been seein' ya most days, but it was always with someone else."
"Yes, exactly!" Renee agreed.
"We didn' have our Sunday ride the past two weeks, either."
"Those Sundays mean so much to me, Kat! I'm glad you feel the same!" Renee gushed happily. Obliviously.
She got to her feet to envelope Kathy in the scent of rain and Renee. And Kathy knew right then that it was the time. The rancher pulled away to go over to the oven again, heating up the stew and slipping the pie back in again. Kathy waited, nerves tightening all over and slowly her pulse quickened. Renee brought the pie back, the tantalizing zing of raspberries under the aroma of stew that slowly filled the kitchen. Renee took a happy bite of hers and hummed under her breath.
"Kat?" she asked thickly around her mouthful of pie filling.
"I don't..." Kathy trailed off hoarsely, mouth too dry to make words. Don't quit being honest! She told herself firmly, all too aware of Renee's increasing concern.
"Oh... I'm sorry. You're still mad, right? I shouldn't act like everything is fine now, I still lied to you..." she muttered, fork pushing at the crimson filling on her plate.
"No, it's... I don' feel the same. 'Bout Sundays. With you."
Renee blinked as hurt filled her eyes equally with confusion.
"I feel pretty diff'rently, ac'ually, Rey. I couldn' tell ya for years 'n I feel like I've been lyin' this whole time," Kathy said with sweaty palms rubbing on her soggy jean shorts.
Renee stared incomprehensibly. "I don't understand... you don't think we're friends? You haven't thought so for years ?" she asked, her too wide eyes teary. Kathy's mouth twisted and she curled her fingers into fists to keep from reaching out.
"Yes, 'n no. A'course I think you're my friend," Kathy said earnestly. "You mean a lot t'me, Rey, but..."
"But?" Renee whispered.
"I wanted t'tell ya, hell back when we were teenagers, I like you. More'n anyone else," Kathy said. Finally. At last. It was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders after carrying it for years and years. She looked up at Renee and felt the relief making her shoulders sag and her mouth quirk up to the side.
Renee frowned slightly, obviously still confused but not so teary. Her mouth opened as if to protest, and then snapped shut as her eyebrows flew up and her hands flew to her mouth.
"You... liked me?" she echoed, muffled behind her fingers and her cheeks pink. Though, that blush was nothing compared to how hot Kathy's face felt.
She shook her head. "No, Rey, I like you. In the here 'n now. Never had the chance t'try and get over you. Dunno if I even wanted to."
Renee squeaked quietly and pressed her hands to her now-crimson cheeks. Her bright brown eyes darted over Kathy's face, confused and shocked and... open.
"I've never thought of you that way," she said hesitantly, wondering.
Somehow she didn't hear the loud cracking that was Kathy's heart. She knew to expect this. It was a relief, really. She could move on, get a … tinder or grindr or— wait, no, that one was for men only— anyway, she could try dating for real and get over this years-long pining. Calloused hands cupped Kathy's face that she didn't even realize was wet until then.
"'m fine," she mumbled at Renee's worried expression, who awkwardly dropped her hands away. "'m fine, s'long as we're friends."
"We'll always be friends, but... I didn't say that's all I wanted. Can't you... can't you give me a chance to think about it? Give me a chance to see you that way?" Renee said slowly, hesitantly, and began to rock back and forth, hands wringing.
Kathy blinked rapidly and ignored the tickle and weight of tears on her lashes and cheeks. "You... you wanna...?" she stuttered. "Don' do that, not fer me, not if ya don' mean it."
"Of course I'm going to do that for you and of course I mean it! I love you, Kat! You're one of my very best friends," Renee declared fiercely, her whole face shining with it. "I love spending time with you and even fishin' for snipe with you in a thunderstorm."
Kathy chuckled weakly at that, and felt the rejection's sting lessen a bit. "Me, too."
"So lemme take this seriously, kay?" Renee added softly, peeking up through her lashes as she attempted a tiny smile.
Kathy wondered, for just a moment, if this hope burgeoning in her chest was going to hurt more or less in the long run. But the moment was over, and she couldn't help responding with her own lopsided smile.
"Yeah, I c'n do that," she agreed quietly, a little roughly even.
Renee rocked a little faster before her eyes widened. "The stew! I hope it's not burnt!"
Kathy grinned as Renee rushed over to the stove and checked everything over. She grimaced a bit, but ladled up a few small bowls and took the pie back to the oven. Silence reigned as they settled into their late night snack. Luckily, despite whatever had happened to the pot, the stew was fine. The pie crust was a little too-done, but all in all, Kathy considered it one of the best meals she'd had in a while. Especially when she caught Renee's eye, or Renee caught hers, and they broke into awkwardly shy smiles.
"I should get goin'," Kathy said as she scraped the last of the raspberry filling off the plate and licked her fork clean. "Selly 'n Chase're gonna kill me for stayin' out so late. Selly doesn' like playin' waitress."
"On a night like tonight, I don't think she'll havta do much..." Renee pointed out doubtfully. They both rose with their plates in hand and moved to the sink. "I don't wanna wake Mama, so just lemme worry about cleaning this tomorrow, kay?"
"If yer sure," Kathy said guiltily. Renee just grinned.
And they just... froze there at the sink, hands empty and eyes locked. Renee's gaze dropped first, but her cheeks started to flush with her hands clasped behind her back. And Kathy wanted to do something. Eating stew and pie after declaring her feelings and Renee wanting to think about it, like it meant nothing, like it could all just turn back to friendship without Kathy really getting a chance to see if it could be more. She wasn't even sure if Renee wasn't straight and was just trying to be kind. She had the "friendzone" as well as the "straightzone" to bulldoze through, but how?
Kathy swallowed painfully and reached up to to gently touch Renee's red cheek. They touched like this a thousand times before, gentle and friendly and innocently. This time wasn't, though, and the look that Renee gave her had Kathy's heart thumping with that hope. As if trying not to spook her off, Kathy's hand moved glacially slow, tucking a still slightly damp clump of hair behind Renee's ear and letting the edge of her thumb trace the curve of her ear. Renee's mouth parted slightly on a tiny inhale of breath, something not quite a gasp.
That quiet sound at such an innocent touch had an idea blooming in Kathy's brain. A plan that had her blood pumping with eagerness. A plan of action had always been more Kathy's style than patiently standing by, and why be idle when everything was out on the table now?
"I'mma woo you," she declared, actually grinning once the words had been said aloud. Renee blinked, befuddled for a moment, before she really gasped, hands flying over her mouth and covering most of her tomato-red face.
"Wh-what?" Renee stammered.
"Ya said you wanted t'think seriously, but ya don' know just what yeh'd be gettin' into, hell, I don' even know. So let's do this the right way, Rey. Lemme send ya flowers and cookies and, I dunno, fancy balloons? Lemme stand outside yer window with a boombox," Kathy said, words bursting out of her and just barely remembering to keep quiet.
Renee's face was getting redder by the second, but her smile was also getting wider behind her hands, eyes starrier. "Kat, you don't havta—"
"No, but I wanna," Kathy interrupted. She reached out and wrapped her hands around Renee's hands. Renee all but swayed closer, brown eyes darting over Kathy's face. "Yer one of my best friends, too, Rey, and I wanna... I wanna try 'n see us, what it might really be like with ya. C'n I try this way?"
Renee stared a moment longer, and then finally nodded, slow and cautious, but not worried. She looked excited at the idea, a look that Kathy had seen a thousand times, and this time it was about Kathy. She couldn't help the grin that spread over her face, all but splitting her cheeks. It was all she could do to stop the whoop building in her chest.
After she'd left, with Renee waving from the porch, probably far after Kathy could no longer see her through the rain and night, she definitely whooped and jumped into a puddles like a giddy teenager again.
Finally. Kathy whooped again and basically galloped through the tapering off sprinkles that had stopped completely by the time she got home.
A/N: Long explanation ahead: After getting back from my family visit, it took forever for me to catch up at work and get through the end of the year. When I finally had time again, I just... lost a lot of muse. I was tired and my creative drive was just... gone. I also was very focused on a deadline that I was VERY behind on at work; I wrote a textbook! It's purely for the center I work at in China, it won't be sold anywhere except to our students in the program I've been basically spearheading for the past 3 and a half years. And that sapped a lot of my time and energy. But! I finished it and my students are currently using it RIGHT NOW in my class! AIYA! I'm so excited!
When I finally felt like writing... well, my computer is old... and I'm not techsavvy. It kinda... combusted a few weeks ago. It's running again, but it went back to factory settings! I just downloaded OpenOffice (since my MS Word is gone now fml) and my muse is officially back! So, onward and, hopefully, back to the regularly scheduled program!
