The Month Peter Parker Learned Humility

Chapter 7: Friday September 7th

"Peter, are you sure that mixingCGC and JRSR would create HLDBRG?", asks Ms Deodato, Peter and MJ's Chemistry teacher. "Absolutely! I read that textbook at least five times already, it's gotta work", Peter cockily replied. "Cool it, Tiger, you're showing off", MJ whispered. "It's not 'showing off' if you're right, it's just being right." The underpaid but extroverted teacher mixes these elements together, creating the class goal concoction. "Excellent work, Mr Parker! You definitely know your way around a beaker", praises the teacher. "Told ya, MJ", Peter replies, having a slightly snarky tone. "Don't matter if you're right, Tiger, you're acting like a know-it-all." "Now, class, if we can turn to page 299, we can start talking about venomous liquids."

After the final class bell rings, Peter and MJ walk off to their lockers and call it another school day. "Petey, what was up with you back in Chemistry? I don't remember you being that cocky in class back in the day or even Wednesday", MJ asks in a concerned, yet calm manner. "C'mon, that was nothing! I knew the answer, and I was right about it. I was just sure of myself, MJ, it's nothing." MJ doesn't budge on her stance, frowning a bit angrier than usual. "I'll try to be less of a dick next time, if that helps", Peter says in a condescending and somewhat reassuring matter. Suddenly, a ding from Peter's phone can be heard. "It's your friends in tights, isn't it?", asks MJ. "It is. You wanna come and hang out there this time? Think of it as my apology." "You already apologized, ya dingus. This is just for shits and giggles. Now let's swing over there, Tiger!"

Soon after, Spider-Man and MJ land on the Helipad. "Hey guys, what's up?", he exclaims, hoping to not have someone come out of nowhere. "Hey there, solider!", greets Cap, walking towards Spidey with Hank Pym. "Hank here has something to say to you; DON'T YOU, PYM?" "Yeah, it's about the goo. That thing is—" Cap then punches his shoulder, giving him a "wrong move" look only a mother could give. "What was it you really wanted to say, Hank?" "…I'm sorry for yelling at you and calling you a little shit, ya little shit." Cap then slaps the back of his head. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for, and I might have judged you too harshly, too soon. You're an Avenger now, I have to treat you like one", Hank says while rubbing the back of his head. "Do you accept my apology?"

"Yeah, we're cool, man", Peter replies. "Now what were you saying about the goo?" "Wait, are you guys talking about the goo things from the Labor Day ceremony?", MJ asks. "Goo thing, and I think we found it. See, when Reed Richards took it away from us, he lost it like a dumbass and that thing was wandering the city like a slimy hobo." "Wait, that thing is somewhere in this city? Where, let's go get it! Tiger, go get it!" "MJ, calm down for a minute, let's hear where they think it is." "We don't think we know where it is. We know where it is, 'Tiger'. Right here, in this very hallway, wearing a red-and-blue set of webbed tights with a spider on his chest." "The fuck'd you say to me, Ant-Man?" "You're hiding the goo from us in plain sight. You're wearing that 'thing' under that suit, and you want to because you're nothing but a kid who does't understand how to be a hero!"

"Hank, stand down right now! We don't make inflammatory statements like that ever!", Cap argues. "Listen here, Bug Boy, you don't get to talk that hot shit about MY boyfriend—" "Boyfriend?! He's not your boyfriend; he's a crush, ya twelve-year-old. Go play with your Barbie dolls, will ya?" "Say that again, and I'll kick your tiny ass just like you tried to whoop The Wasp's ass, how about that?" "You don't get to talk about MY JAN, ya alien harborer!" "Don't talk about mine, and we'll be good, Tiny!" "You wanna do this again, pip-squeak?" "Hank Pym, stand down right now or so help me God, I will suspend you from the Avengers!" "Pip-squeak?! Who's the one that shrinks to the size of no one's favorite bug?" "Who's talking shit about me and my Hank?", adds a noticeably bruised Janet Van Dyne. "Tell ya man to stop harassing my Spider-Man, please!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY BEFORE HULK SMASH ALL OF YOU PUNY WEAKLINGS", bellowed a furious Bruce Banner, slamming both of his giant green fists between the arguing parties. Thanks to the Jade Giant, everyone starts to calm down and take a deep breath, choosing their next words carefully. "You're an above-average hero, not a real superhero, Spider-Child", Hank says while cocking his fists.

Falling for the bait, Peter immediately lunges at Hank, revealing the alien goo's new design for Spider-Man as they land a hard left uppercut. "I'm an Avenger, god damnit! You will fucking treat me as a fucking Avenger, you tiny fuck!", Peter rants as he lands punch after punch after punch on Ant-Man's now broken helmet. "Tiger, stop, that's enough!", MJ cries, seeing an Ant-Man that is visibly bloody and bruised already. "Tiger, that's enough already! He's done, he's done!" Hulk soon bear hugs Peter, separating the fight once more.

"He's not conscious, Peter", Cap replies while checking Hank for a pulse. "You beat a man to sleep today for no good reason, Mr Peter Parker. Does that feel good in your bones, Peter Parker?" "You know he kept talking shit and didn't expect to get flushed, right, MJ?" She stares at her boyfriend, shocked at this viciousness no matter how earned it was. "MJ, didn't he keep wanting me to fight him?… MJ?!" "Ye-yeah, he,.. he wanted to fight ya, Tiger Cub."

"I had hope in you, Peter Parker. Not Spider-Man, but Peter Parker. Reed and Sue said so many nice, intelligent and heart-warming things about you that we HAD to make you join our team, and now look. You nearly killed Ant-Man for what? Your pride? Some girl's pride?" "Pride?! If someone keeps disrespecting you on a personal level and tries to hit his girlfriend and be an all-around asshole, wouldn't you, Steve? Isn't that who you fought back at home in between HYDRA raids? Wouldn't you hit a monster square in the jaw?"

"Hank does what he believes is rig—" "Put me down, Banner. I'll swing my way home now", states a steaming Peter. "MJ, you're coming or no?" "She's not going anywhere with a brute like you,—" "Yeah, Tiger. You get me home faster than ANY ABOVE-AVERAGE HERO." The two kids in love swing up and away from the drama caused by their supposed new best friends in tights.

END OF CHAPTER 7