The Month Peter Parker Learned Humility

Chapter 12: Wednesday September 12th

New York Police Department Criminal Investigations Report #GLA340UFO

Officer In Charge of Investigation: Marcus Johnson

Time of Activity: 6:42 PM

Report/Notes of Importance:

A Hispanic family of four is walking through 145th St and Broadway. While taking photographs on the father's phone, an explosion occurs across the street at The Luke Cage Memorial Bank. The level 3 super villain referred to online as The Scorpion has taken roughly $13.7 million from their main vault. The father had photograph footage of Scorpion performing the grand theft, and he noticed that very quickly. Scorpion uses his long tail to flip a police car, and then destroys his phone. The family scream, fearing they might die on their tourist trip to New York. The youngest daughter sprints towards the armored villain, only to become a hostage as she has no mutant powers or any super-gifts recently received. Soon after a short monologue, the new Spider-Man swings in from 7th Ave and webs the tail down to a nearby fire hydrant. He then proceeds to kick him in the head, snapping his neck and killing him instantly. m

Soon after, he notices the youngest daughter crying intensely, curled up in a fetal position. He grabs the child and throws her into the father's unsuspecting arms, breaking her and the father's backs. He swings out of the crime scene towards 146th and 7th.

New York Police Department Criminal Investigations Report #BWB567YL

Officer In Charge of Investigation: Sergeant Harold Kingsley

Time of Activity: 8:28 PM

Report/Notes of Importance:

On 6th Street and 5th Ave, a group of young African-Americans and Caucasians walk into a small dive bar called Excelsior, lining up for a heavy metal band scheduled to perform that night. Some have drunk alcohol before arriving at the venue, and two are rather belligerent drunks. The two, a heavy set white female with a pink mohawk and a Korean male with a face tattoo reminiscent of Magneto's helmet, begin pushing random patrons off of the line, shouting "no one gets in before us, btiches!" and laughing while doing so. The Spider-Man arrives, landing directly on the marquee above them. He webs up the belligerent patrons, and sends them into oncoming traffic without warning.

A taxi cab driver pushes his brakes, realizing there's people lying on the street. He sprints out of the car, and asks the two POI if they require medical assistance of any kind. They don't respond after four attempted tries. The ta driver then loads them into his car, understanding now that they are unconscious from their encounter with Spider-Man. Spider-Man notices the good samaritan, and proceeds to rip open the hood and destroy the engine beyond repair. He then swings off and south towards West 4th Street.

"These really the only leads you got to Peter's location, George?", an exhausted May asks. "I get that it's two in the morning, every cop report coming in is gonna be drunks peeing on something, but this is my nephew. This thing on him could kill him slower and harder than any fall from a bridge could." "Sadly, May, that's all I got. I sent out damn near every badge from Forest Hills to Bayside towards your home, keep ya safe from anything. We just can't track him with the, uh, 'goo' as you call it", replies Captain Stacy. "Go home and let Reed finish up one last lap around The Bronx. We want that boy to be safe, we all do. But we also have to know that he'll come home when he needs to—" "Needs to? Captain, there is a goo from outer space holding his body hostage, he's not in control at all. Find my nephew NOW."

"Do you love your boy?" "Yes." "Do you believe in him and his super abilities?" "Yes." "Do you believe in the Supers who want him to be safe and on the righteous path?" "…Yes." "Then let them find him and bring him home to you safely. I'll escort you into your home myself, if that means anything." Captain Stacy puts his arm on May's shoulder, giving her comfort and security in a time of confusion and fear.

Meanwhile, on a rooftop nearby Rockefeller Center, Peter regains control of his body once more. "Reed, did the second blast work?", he asks, not fully realizing that lab work is long over. "…Reed? Hank? May? Anyone?" The bustling late night streets stir with life, but do not answer Peter's call. "God, where even am I? And why is it so dark outside, shouldn't it be almost five right now?" He wall crawls down and jumps onto a traffic light, seeing the kind of people wandering this concrete jungle. "Wait a minute, it's, it's… Oh no, it's midnight at least! I gotta get home, I gotta figure out a way to not be suspended, DEFINITELY talk to Mary Jane, and… shit I have a lot to do lately! But how, damnit, how? It's all so much to handle, so much to juggle, it's a lot all at once! Almost as much as the time Uncle Ben tried to move to Forest Hills, and then he fell trying to carry the entire dining room table by himself ALL WHILE MJ was sitting on the table! Heh, it was simpler times. He always knew what to do, and how to make sure it didn't all fall down like a house of cards. He'd know what to do."

Suddenly, like a spark of pure genius, Peter gets a brilliant idea. "That's it! Uncle Ben can help me out here, just like he always did! But where in here would I talk to him? Where was Uncle Ben's favorite place to just sit and talk in this giant of a borough? Oh, that's right, St Patrick's! I'll just go there and ask him a quick question. Sure, he hasn't responded to anything I've ever asked him as Spider-Man, but maybe this time he will. Maybe he'll send a sign or something, like he did with Doc Ock all those months ago."

Soon after swinging around in a quiet manner, Peter lands onto a bell tower for St Patrick's Cathedral. "There! Now he can hear me loud and clear, though I'm pretty sure that bell won't ring for a while." He takes a deep breath, almost like he's preparing to lift a massive weight off of his shoulders. "Uncle Ben, it's me again. It's Peter. I, uh, I messed up pretty bad lately. For starters, Harry became a Goblin, and some Russian dudes tried to kill me with him. They're in jail, so I learned from Norman kinda. Now, I'm an Avenger! I can finally say Captain America is a co-worker, Ben! It's awesome to be one, but it's not really. Ant-Man hits his wife a lot, and Cap keeps defending him. It's weird, and I just don't get it. I get why he doesn't like me now, but that's some complicated stuff about alien goo ethics, and I don't understand it enough to talk about it."

"I really messed up big time with Mary Jane. She's back, and she's just as smart and funny and sassy and friendly and kind as ever! But she's hot now; like supermodel hot.. I guess that's actually a good way to describe her, since she is a model. And she made a new web formula for me. And supports Spider-Man. She does so much, but she just came back not even a month ago, and we're dating. And then this goo fucks with my head in ways I can't stop or know, and Flash was so nice I thought he was hitting on her and I punched him cold and it got me suspended and I'm scared again, Uncle Ben! I'm scared, there's so much happening all at once and I just wanna swing around New York with Mary Jane and not have to deal with all this shit around me! Uncle Ben, what do I do about Mary Jane? What do I do about this goo? What do I do with Flash? What do I do with the Avengers? What do I doooo?!"

Peter sobs in angst and confusion, knowing his questions will never be answered directly, his problems still needing to be handled. "With great,… power,… comes g-g-great re… responsibility", replies an ominous, crackling voice. "W-w-Who's there? Where are you, voice?!" "P-p-Peter, we team. We fix this. We fix everything." "…Goo, is that you?" "Yes. We fix everything together. We do better than Uncle Ben dream of." "What do you mean 'fix everything'? You made everything worse!" "We fix because we better than humans. We become better Peter Parker than Peter Parker!" "That's it! That's the last straw! Get out of me right now or I'll rip you out myself!"

"No. We better Peter Parker, we show you how forever!" The goo then bonds to Peter's bloodstream, forcing itself to become a 'better' Peter than Peter Parker himself. However, as if Uncle Ben himself was truly listening from his spot high in the heavens of the afterlife, the 3am bell rung, and it rung loudly. GONG! GONG! GONG! The goo weakens its bonding process, as the pain is too much to handle to continue its goal. Peter, tired of living a life of misery, begins to rip off the goo poisoning his life. GONG! GONG! GONG! The extra-terrestrial screams fill the tower with a soundtrack for a demonic battle between a Spider-Man and his Spider-Suit. Peter then bangs his head into the bell, forcing it to ring even more and the goo to jump off of Parker.

The goo slips off into the dark Manhattan night, as a very weakened Peter is left near naked and without his web shooters in the heart of Midtown. "Damn, how am I gonna get home without anyone knowing my secret identity?", Peter thinks to himself. A large, wooden bucket then appears on the right hand edge of Peter's eye. "I'll just borrow this, make some eye holes in it, and bring them a new, better bucket in the morning. Maybe something not from the set of The Hunchback of Notre Dame!" He slowly wall crawls, jumps and pole swings from St Patrick's to Columbus Circle, to the 59th St Bridge, to Woodside, and finally to Forest Hills, but not at his house.

"I still can't believe that he could just be so jealous, and then he tries to make me subservient to his romantic desires! Like, who do you think you are, Peter? He's almost as bad as the boys back upstate", berates a furious Mary Jane, scoffing down pancakes before heading off to school. "Sweetie, I know, he's an idiot. But he's also a Spider-Idiot, cut him some slack", replies Anna. "Wait, how'd you figure that out?"

"How else do you explain a near naked, bloodied and bruised muscular man wearing a bucket for a mask while crawling past my kitchen sink window just like Spider-Man as I'm cleaning the dishes?" "Tiger?" "Oh shit, he really IS Spider-Man", Anna muttered to herself, as MJ sprints towards the front door, mouth full of pancakes and syrup. As MJ opens the door, Anna's apt description of Peter's psychical state perfectly matches what's in front of her eyes. "Tiger, it is you!", MJ yells as she takes off the bucket helmet, fearing The Chameleon may have returned somehow. "I'm so so so so so sorry", mutters a supremely tired Peter. "More than I've ever been, I'm just so damn sorry. I've been a bigger dick than anyone should ever be, and—" Peter soon falls onto her doorstep, unconscious from the emotional and exhausting night he's had tonight.

END OF CHAPTER 12