Chapter Two: Tropical Nightmare

"What does it say?!" Rachel finally erupted, and Santana descended from the dolphin statue with grace, her Cheerios skirt flipping idly.

"It's probably better that you see for yourself," the girl replied dryly, tossing her phone to Rachel before striding off. Everyone crowded around Rachel as she scrolled back to the top of the thread.

Still on our way, Emma and I had to stop and get gas. Be there soon!

Okay, we're at the airport. Parking now.

At the main entrance. Where are you guys? I have all your tickets with me.

Call me. I'm heading for the gate.

Did you guys leave?

Everyone stepped back and regarded the messages in their own time. "There are so many things wrong with what I just read," Artie spoke up first.

"Yeah, texting and driving? Hello?" Quinn turned her palm up critically.

"He has our tickets…" Finn breathed, and Rachel looked up at him worriedly.

"So the ones we took were…" Blaine turned to Kurt for an explanation, but he was staring into the distance, frozen.

"We're not…on Mr. Schue's trip," Tina concluded. "We're somewhere else completely. It explains the sketchy plane."

"Also explains the random guy that handed us the tickets," Sam brought up with a touch of stubborn pride, glaring at Mercedes.

"B-but they said it was for McKinley High's Glee Club!" Rachel leapt to her own defense.

"So then it was a set-up!" Kurt yelled at her, covering his mouth in fear.

"Wait, we have to call Mr. Schue, now! While we have a signal," Artie got them back on track. "He'll still be in Dayton because he wouldn't have left without us." He snatched the phone from Rachel when she began to cry in self-pity, and dialed Mr. Schue.

It rang about 9 times before someone finally picked up. "Santana?"

"Mr. Schue!" Artie cried, everyone chorusing with him in relief. "Thank god. W-we got on the wrong flight and we don't know where we are and-"

"Hang on," Will's voice ebbed in and out as he spoke. "Artie, is that you? Where are you guys?"

"We're lost, help!" Kurt shrieked, and Blaine drew him away, as he was not helping at all.

"Someone gave us phony tickets, and we don't know where we ended up but-" Finn stopped when Will interrupted.

"Guys, I can b…ly hear you. The sig…"

"No!" Artie shouted, and Brittany nabbed the phone from his grasp and began to clamber atop the dolphin in the fountain. But it was too late, and the phone's screen said "Signal lost," the call dropped.

"Nnnnnnoooooooo!" Kurt yelled to the heavens, falling to his knees. Rachel swooned to the floor by his side and buried her face in her arms, sobbing piteously.

"Are you guys for real?" Puck asked.

"We are going to die out here!" Rachel hissed at him, sounding possessed.

"Guys, no we're not," Blaine laughed hopelessly. "Let's just get up, first-" He dragged Kurt to his feet. "-and go to the counter and get tickets back home! Then we'll go from there."

At the nearest counter, Blaine asked for tickets back to Ohio. "For… fourteen of you?" the man asked, and Blaine nodded. A few moments later, he said, "Okay, that will be $6,622."

"...Oh I forgot about that part."

They regrouped in a nearby Starbucks, which they were all surprised to see in this area of tropical Mexico. "The storm is getting worse," Quinn commented with a glimpse at the window.

"Where do you think we're supposed to go now?" Sugar asked. "Normally Mr. Schue would've had hotel arrangements, but whoever sent us here…"

"Whoever sent us here expected us to die on that plane," Finn announced, and everyone was shocked and saddened to realize that was the truth. "There are no arrangements waiting for us here."

"Who do you think set this up, anyway?" Mercedes asked purely out of curiosity. "You don't think it was like, Carmel High or something?"

"Jesse wouldn't do that," Rachel answered hastily, despite no longer being the expert on the matter.

"Well who else hates us this much?" Tina asked, as if the list wasn't a mile long.

"Maybe that jerk from Dalton Academy?" Sam asked, and Kurt reflexively lowered his coffee and looked over Blaine's shoulder, as if Sebastian would materialize into view at the mere mention.

But Blaine shook his head. "No way, we made up, remember?"

Finn dropped his head into his hands. "We'll never figure it out. Let's just find a place to stay for the night and then…"

"What, work on our street-walking techniques?" Santana suggested with a sneer. "It's the only way we can get that much money in time."

"Well, if that's what it comes down to…" Sam began to concede, and Mercedes slapped his arm disapprovingly.

Brittany set her phone in her lap and looked up. "Guys, Mr. Schue is coming here."

Everyone stared at her emptily. "I'm sorry what?" Kurt shook his head.

"I contacted him over the Wi-Fi? Like I was talking about earlier." Everyone took a moment to feel shameful for ignoring Brittany. "I gave him the airport code and he said he's on his way. He'll get us out of this." Several sighs of relief and gratitude washed over the table. "So we just need to survive until he gets here."

"Brittany, you're a life-saver," Mike sighed, and everyone agreed while Brittany beamed self-indulgently.

Just then, a stranger approached their table and Kurt flinched, immediately on guard. "Are you the McKinley High School Glee Club?" the nondescript person asked flatly.

"We certainly a- ow!" Rachel broke off when Quinn elbowed her in the boob a little too forcefully.

"Who's asking?" Puck challenged, Sam folding his arms in an attempt at intimidation.

The person paused, unimpressed, and reached across the table and several people to hand a piece of paper to Finn, clearly recognizing him as the alpha. "That's for you," was all he said before departing.

"Don't open it!" Kurt warned him uselessly, and Finn unfolded the paper.

"It's an address."

"It's clearly the abandoned warehouse where we're to be knocked out and serial-killed one by one, photographs our mutilated bodies sent back to our parents-"

"Rachel!" Mercedes silenced her, eyes wide.

"We should go," Finn decided without explanation.

"But, didn't you say there were no arrangements here for us?" Quinn furrowed her brow.

"Maybe I was wrong. Just trust me on this." Finn stood, but no one moved a muscle. "Come on, I think I figured it out. Mr. Schue obviously set up this whole thing as like, a mystery! Like a game!" Eyebrows were raised. "Everything's been safe so far, right?"

"That plane," was all Kurt said, expressionless.

"Was…obviously just a result of McKinley's budget. Puck said so himself." Puck looked surprised to hear this. "It got us here safely, after all."

"And I'm guessing Mr. Schue missing the plane was also part of this 'game'?" Santana snarled, glaring at Finn.

"Yeah, exactly!"

Her glare deepened. "Did you smoke whatever Blaine was having on the plane? Why are you changing your tune? Five minutes ago you were as hopeless as the rest of us."

"Look, if it's a murder shack, I accept full responsibility. Don't you guys trust me?" All around the table, people shook their heads or gave an emphatic, "No." Except Rachel, who stood resolutely.

"I do." She grinned at him and he returned the look, and Santana rolled her eyes.

"I already know how this will end."


Outside, the rain and wind were starting to pick up, and once they reached the address, the downpour was torrential. Palm trees were on the verge of bending completely sideways, and thunder could be heard in the distance.

"That's it!" Finn shouted, his voice soundless over the din of the storm, but they followed his pointed finger to a beach house nestled on the coast. "Come on!"

They struggled with the locked door before Puck shoved them aside and kicked it down. Everybody scrambled inside and he slammed the door behind them, leaning against it. There was no sound except labored breathing and water from clothes dripping onto the hardwood floor. There was also no light.

Santana snapped on the light to reveal fourteen people who more closely resembled drowned rats and grimaced. "Should've left it off."

"You're not such a sight yourself," Tina returned, wringing out her hair. "What is this place?"

It was a cozy beach bungalow, the wood floors strewn with dry sand, the air tinged with the smell of seawater and salt. There was a living room and kitchen, and a set of stairs in the middle between the two. But all anyone really noticed was that it was dry and warm, and they were thankful for that.

Quinn went into the kitchen and saw another envelope on the counter. She tipped out the contents and revealed a brass key, holding it up with a tight look of disapproval.

"What a genius," Puck complained, shaking his head.

"There's a note here," she informed everyone, and they all gathered around to hear it, except Kurt who immediately went off to dry his hair and/or change clothes, and Brittany, who sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

"Welcome, McKinley Glee Club, to the BP Beach House. We thank you for the honor of your presence." Quinn arched an eyebrow as Rachel nodded solemnly at the greeting. "Well, at least we know we're in the right place."

"Still, it doesn't read like Mr. Schue," Artie noticed, and Quinn went on.

"Please make use of our amenities including a fully-stocked kitchen, outdoor pool and hot tub, and gorgeous ocean views. Have a wonderful stay." She dropped the note. "Well, that was interesting."

"I'm kind of relieved that we're not in a hotel," Tina remarked. "I mean, a beach house right by the ocean is hard to beat." She drew the blinds to reveal a sky of black clouds and churning waves. "Even if the weather is…this."

"True, at least we'll have our privacy," Mercedes said, then flushed at her own comment, avoiding Sam's gaze.

"Well, we would if Puck hadn't broken the door," Santana directed at him sassily, crossing her arms. "Now it won't lock."

"Look, I'll stay down here and keep guard until it's fixed if it makes you feel any better," Puck offered, and Santana balked at his unexpected show of good will.

"Who's going to come break in anyway?" They all turned at the sound of Kurt's voice, Rachel screaming briefly at the sight of his mud-masked face. "We're completely isolated out here."

"That's true, but better safe than sorry," Finn replied, unfazed.

"Why are you in your pajamas?" Santana asked Kurt, giving his silk ensemble a once-over.

"Because, it's almost one in the morning, guys." Everyone looked up at the clock to confirm this. "We should all be going to bed."

"Weird, why aren't I tired?" Sam asked, then remembered the black hole of time they all spent napping on the plane, followed by a coffee fix at Starbucks. Indeed, Blaine-who didn't opt for a nap earlier-was passed out at the dining table and had been for several minutes. "Oh yeah."

Kurt smiled and folded his arms. "We should probably decide rooms first. I think the bedrooms are upsta-" He was cut off by a blast of thunder as the lights shut off and soaked them in darkness, a chorus of screams following.

"Did the power just go out?" Sugar asked pointlessly.

"As if this wasn't bad enough already," someone grumbled, sounding a lot like Puck.

"Relax, let's just use our phones," a lilting voice directed them, and Quinn's phone flashlight illuminated the room. Rachel's hand flew to her chest at the sight of Kurt's face again. "You said the bedrooms are upstairs?"

They all clobbered upstairs and stood in the narrow hallway together, where seven doors branched off. "Seven rooms, perfect. We just have to pair up."

"This one only has one bed, though," Puck commented, leaning into the farthest room. "And damn, it's huge."

"Dibs," Kurt and Rachel said simultaneously, then glared at each other, reminiscent of season one.

"How many of the rooms are like that?" Artie asked, and Puck confirmed that four of the seven were. The other three had two single beds. "Okay, so couples and non-couples. That worked out perfectly."

"Good thing so many people in this club are dating already," Mike laughed.

"True, in fact…" Santana did a quick count. "We have more couples than we have queen-sized beds."

"I don't mind taking a single bed," Mercedes volunteered, to Sam's disappointment.

"Right, gotta leave room for Jesus and all that," Santana recalled, and Mercedes just glared at her. "Alright, then it's settled."

Everyone retreated into their rooms except Rachel and Kurt, who stood outside the master bedroom. Finn watched them warily, playing the mediator.

"I saw it first," was Rachel's childish and completely off-base reasoning, and Finn knew it was going to be a long night. It already was.

"Well I need the en suite for my nightly skincare routine. All you have to do is…put your hair in a braid or something," Kurt retaliated.

"Um, where's Blaine? Shouldn't he get a say in this?" Finn asked, and Kurt gasped.

"Oh my gosh I completely forgot about him."

Kurt slipped downstairs in total darkness, Finn electing to go with him. "I think he's at the dining table," Rachel whispered, creeping behind them as well.

Approaching the dining room, Kurt stubbed his foot on the slight step into the kitchen, stumbling with a curse as he caught himself. "Watch your st-" But Finn tripped magnificently over it and crashed into Kurt, knocking him down anyway. The two fell into the chairs as Rachel flailed in fright at the sudden noise, managing to overturn a lamp from a nearby table.

Once the cacophony subsided back into black silence, Finn stood and helped Kurt to his feet. Rachel shined her phone light at Blaine, still deeply asleep at the table.

"How in the hell?!" Kurt whisper-shouted, then went to his side. "Blaine, wake up." He shook him, but the man was all but unconscious. He sighed and said to Finn, "Help me carry him, I guess."

"What are you guys doing?" a voice pierced the darkness and startled them all, Rachel legitimately screaming as she flung her phone across the room towards the sound. Brittany was sitting in silence at the sofa, turned from the TV to face them.

Kurt opened and closed his mouth. "Have you been down here this whole time?" he asked, still whispering as if Rachel's scream hadn't woken the entire household.

"Yeah," Brittany shrugged.

"Doing…what?" Finn raised an eyebrow.

"Watching TV." The screen was black. "Didn't you guys see the messages earlier?"

"What messages?" Rachel asked, but Kurt made a silencing motion, assuming this was another one of Brittany's Brittany-isms.

"The ones about welcoming us to this house."

"Oh, that was…the message Quinn read?" Finn gave Rachel a questioning look, but she looked confused as well.

"No, it said we should all take time to introduce ourselves. Something about dinner. And how we'd have further instructions tomorrow morning." They all gaped at her. "You guys really didn't see it?"

The trio was silent, Blaine suspended between Finn and Kurt like a rag doll. "Brittany, go to sleep," Kurt finally said, and they headed back upstairs. Brittany watched them go wordlessly.