"If I don't see some more Kendy fics on this damn website by the time I upload the next chapter then I'm gonna eat my own ass!"
-Your friend and humble narrator who couldn't think of a good quote this week.
Chapter 10
In which our hero and heroine come to realize that everything is completely fucked
Under normal circumstances, two girls in his bed would've been an average wet dream for Kenny McCormick, but considering the fact that his sister, his girlfriend, and he had locked themselves in his room, marathoning the films of Rob Schneider, Adam Sandler, and Pauly Shore in a vain attempt to keep his mind off the death of his best friend, it was looking a little less like a dream and more of a bitter… Like a bitter… A bitter… Ya know what? Fuck the metaphor, he was depressed, everyone around him was depressed, the fucking narrator is depressed and you want me to come up with some poetic metaphor?
Fuck that shit, Butters and Tweek are dead, and for the first time in his life, Kenny was starting to see death as a legitimate threat! Yeah, he could die all he wants, so what? What about Karen? Or Wendy? Craig, Michael, Pete, Henrietta, Douchebag? For fuck's sake, Firkle lost his right eye to that horrifying abomination in the school, the corpse of which is now god only knows where! And what does Kenny have to take his mind off it all? A few low-brow comedy flicks ranging in quality from mediocre to excellent.
So yeah, I guess you could say he was a little bummed out by it all, I guess you could say he had a feeling things were only gonna get worse, as they have a tendency to do. Speaking of things getting worse, nightmares upon nightmares upon nightmares! That's what he saw whenever he closed his eyes for a few minutes! Sometimes he was getting torn to pieces by fish people, other times he found himself being cut open on an operating table, but every single time it was accompanied by that same menacing voice growing clearer and clearer as it said "Soon I will be…"
"BE WHAT, YOU FUCKIN' CUNT?!" Kenny shouted, scaring the absolute fuck out of both Wendy and Karen.
"What's wrong?!" Wendy asked.
"Who's a cunt?!" Karen added.
The boy looked between the two girls in horror, shocked beyond belief at his own outburst, "SORRY!" he quickly shouted before composing himself, "Sorry, I just… Kinda zoned out for a minute." he tried to explain, doing his best to focus his attention on Happy Gilmore, 'Sweet, Adam Sandler just kicked the shit out of that country club douchebag.' he mentally recapped. But he wasn't laughing at his second favorite scene in the whole movie (his favorite being the mini-golf clown scene, obviously). Nah, Kenny couldn't even try to distract himself from the worried looks of the two most important people in his life, "I'm sorry." he repeated once more.
"Kenny, what's going on in your head right now?" Wendy asked.
"Yeah, tell us what's on your mind." Karen insisted.
"Nothing." the boy lied, "I'm just really stressed out right now and I think it's getting to me."
Wendy gave her boyfriend a stern look, "Kenny, it's not good to keep your thoughts bottled up." she explained.
"Yeah." Karen agreed, "I mean, Wendy's your girlfriend, I'm your sister you have a borderline creepy relationship with, what can't you talk about with us?" she asked.
"Karen?" Wendy interrupted.
"Yeah?"
"Stop helping."
The girl shot her a dirty look, "I know how to talk to my brother, know your fucking place, bitch." she stated.
"Karen! Don't talk to her like that!" Kenny scolded.
"I'll talk to my future sister-in-law however I want, know your fucking place, bitch." she explained to the boy.
It was at this point that the pair had realized, in spite of their combined efforts to collectively dump Kenny's sister, she was not only still a part of their relationship, but also possibly the fucking alpha of their little group. "Look, everything's fine." the boy insisted, "Let's just watch the movie, please?"
"Alright." Wendy and Karen agreed in unison, relenting to the fact that Kenny would open up to them when he was ready.
Of course, Kenny wasn't the only one with shit going on, Karen had her own stress to worry about, one such stress making itself ever so present with her phone's vibration. Who knew a text saying "Come over." could house so much anxiety? "Hey, guys? I've gotta go." she informed.
"Oh what? But the scene where he meets Julie Bowen's character's coming up." Kenny reminded.
"Sorry. I've gotta go meet up with Henrietta and the guys." the girl explained, "I'll be back in a little while." she stated, "Later."
"Later." Kenny and Wendy both said in response.
Wendy had to admit, she was just a little annoyed at the younger teenager. The two had secretly agreed that they wouldn't leave Kenny on his own, and Wendy had made it clear that she had to do her volunteer work on Tuesdays, and what was today? Well, you'd probably be surprised to know that it was in fact Tuesday, of course. So naturally, Wendy was left with the responsibility of leaving her boyfriend all alone in his time of need. Well, she figured she might as well rip the bandage off now in a way that can also give her some rest from her busy schedule, "Hey, I'm gonna need to leave too in like an hour. Can you do me a favor and wake me up then?" she requested.
Kenny nodded, "Of course, no problem." he assured, "Get some rest, you've been busting your ass way too hard lately… And that's supposed to be my job."
"Thanks Ken." she said with a small laugh, resting her head on the boy's pillow, "You're the best."
'Damn right I am.' the boy thought to himself, watching as she quickly fell asleep before grabbing the purple beret off her head.
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Karen entered Henrietta's room to find her, Pete, and Michael sitting around, cigarettes in their hands, bored looks on their faces as they waited for the arrival of their last two members. "Hey guys, what's up?" the younger girl asked.
The group turned their attention to her all of them giving a slight nod as a greeting, "Did Firkle come in with you?" Michael questioned.
She shook her head, "No, I figured he'd already be here."
"Fuck." Michael cursed, "He'd never miss a meeting."
"Should we go check on him?" Henrietta suggested, "I mean, the book will still be here when we get back."
"Wait, what do you mean 'the book'?" Karen asked.
"The Necronomicon." Pete reminded, "Remember?"
"I thought we were done with that thing!"
"Are you crazy? We know it works now, how are we not gonna use it?" Michael questioned.
"We're gonna get started with summoning Cthulhu as soon as possible." Henrietta explained.
Karen found herself concerned for her friends' sanity, had they already forgotten about their little homunculous catastrophe? "Charlie killed eight people, Firkle was almost one of them, and you want to keep this Necronomicon thing going?"
"Don't you?" Pete questioned, "We have the key to bringing an era of darkness upon the world, do you realize how freaking goth that's gonna be?!"
"And what about all the people who get hurt, or killed?" the girl asked.
"Why should we care whether some dumbass conformists live or die?" Michael countered.
"You're not siding with the conformists, are you?" Pete asked.
"Both of you fuck off for a minute." Henrietta ordered, gesturing the boys toward the door. Once they were alone, Henrietta turned to Karen in concern, "Hey, if you're not comfortable with this then that's totally fine, you don't have to take part in anything you don't want to. We won't think any less of you if you do." she explained, "Besides, the way you smashed that homunculous' fucking skull in was like, the gothest thing any of us has ever done. You can totally keep hanging out with us even if you don't want to help us cause the apocalypse."
Karen sighed as her eyes started to water, "I'm just… Scared. Why can't we go back to before when we'd just write creepy poetry and watch horror movies?"
Henrietta watched as her friend began to cry, "Come on, don't do that." she requested, but that didn't stop her. She sighed, "Tell anyone I did this and I'll slit your throat." she threatened before hugging the other girl, "It's gonna be alright, we're still gonna keep doing all that. But this is something we've been wanting to do for years. You want me to just drive you home?"
The younger girl shook her head, "No… No, it's fine. I just… I can't stop picturing that freaking monster clawing Butters' intestines out."
"I know, but Charlie's gone now, thanks to you." Henrietta reminded.
"Firkle… He-" as Karen began to speak, the door creaked open, prompting the two to break the hug.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO-" the older girl began to scold before seeing who it was.
"Hey." Firkle greeted in a tone even more lifeless than usual, his right eye covered by a patch with deep scarring visible on his skin. "So, we're summoning Cthulhu?" he monotonously asked.
Henrietta reconsidered the plan for a moment, "We… Might be." she answered, "Are you in?"
The boy nodded, "You know I am."
The younger girl thought about it, if Firkle was still willing to fuck with the forces of the unknown after what he'd been through, then she really had no excuse. Finally, Karen made her decision, "If Firkle's in then I'm in." she stated.
"Well, alright, if you're both sure." Henrietta said as she went out to the hall, "Where the fuck did you guys go?!" she shouted.
"Fuck off, your mom's making cookies!" she heard Pete shout from downstairs.
"They're shaped like bats and everything!" Michael added.
"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE UNLEASHING AN ANCIENT EVIL ON THE WORLD, GOD!" the girl yelled in frustration as Firkle made his way out the door, "Where are you going?" she questioned.
"To get some bat cookies, duh." the boy answered before going downstairs.
Henrietta sighed, rubbing her eyes before feeling Karen take her by the wrist, "Come on, you're not too goth for one cookie." she said before dragging the older girl downstairs.
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Counselor Mackey had his face buried in paperwork when he heard his office door open, "Hey Wendy, everything alright? You're not usually this late." he pointed out.
"Nah, it's cool. Just had to pick some stuff up." Kenny explained… Wait, what? The counselor jerked his head up from his paperwork to see, not his assistant, but rather his assistant's boyfriend in a purple coat, yellow skirt, and a black wig topped off with the girl's beret.
It's an old trick him and the guys would sometimes pull as kids, if Kyle for example needed to be in two places at once, Kenny could just put on a set of his clothes and no one would know the difference as long as he didn't talk much. It usually worked, a little too well to make logical sense, if I'm being honest, it was almost as if they were all the exact same base character design with their only differences being their hats and clothing, but that would be ridiculous, this ain't some cheap cartoon.
"Kenny, what the hell are you doing?" Mackey questioned.
'Shit, forgot to disguise my voice.' Kenny realized, "Uh, what do you mean? It's me, Wendy." he said in his best impression of his girlfriend, which was admittedly pretty good thanks to his operatically trained voice and all the time they spend together.
"Kenny, I know it's you m'kay. The whole town knows what your legs look like in a skirt." the counselor reminded.
"Oh wow, so now you're sexually harassing a sixteen-year-old girl? Who are you, Jared from Subway?"
"You're not a sixteen-year-old girl, m'kay?"
"Oh is that so?" Kenny asked, turning to the open door and conveniently seeing just the man he was hoping to find, "Hey PC Principal!" he greeted, draining all the color from Mackey's face, "How's it going?"
"Hey, Wendy. It's going pretty good for me, wish I could say the same for those poor unfortunate people in China. How are you doing?" he asked.
"Oh, not too bad. Mr. Mackey and I were just having a conversation about sexual harassment against transgendered people in the workplace." Kenny explained, "I think it's just terrible, don't you PC Principal?"
"Absolutely, that's totally messed up and I'd like to personally kick the shit out of anyone who'd do something like that." the principal agreed.
"What was it you were just saying Mr. Mackey? Something about misgendering women and staring at their legs?" Kenny egged on.
"Uh- I uh- I think people like that should be fired on the spot and have their position filled by a well-qualified woman or person of color." the counselor said, fearing he might screw something up and get the absolute shit kicked out of him.
PC Principal nodded, "That's a pretty good take bro. You mind if I tweet that?"
"B-Be my guest."
"Thanks bro. I've gotta get going, you two have a good rest of your evening." the principal stated, walking away before Mackey shut the door.
"That was a dirty move, m'kay?"
"I can get dirtier, wanna try me?" Kenny warned, "Look, Wendy's been busting her ass lately, pulling double-shifts at Benny's and coming to my house to deal with my depressed bullshit. She needs a break whether she wants to admit it or not, just let me fill in for her today so she can get in her volunteer hours, m'kay?"
The counselor nodded in understanding, "M'kay, I think that'll be alright. Now, what you're gonna do is-"
"Yeah, I know, alphabetize the students' files and don't look in them." he recited, "I've seen Wendy do it a thousand times."
Mackey gave a curious look, "I guess that explains why my coffee mug's full of marijuana ashes whenever I leave her here alone."
"How great is that air freshener though?" Kenny asked.
"So great, you know I actually started buying the same brand to use at home?" the older man stated, "Hey, you don't happen to… You know, have any-" before he could even finish speaking, he was tossed a joint and a lighter.
"Spark it up dude." the teen invited as he began filing, "Hey, why do you use files anyway? Don't you have computers for this shit?"
"We did." the counselor stated as he lit the joint, "Then we ditched it after Eric Cartman got into the system and posted everyone's information on Facebook." he explained, taking a good drag off of the weed, "Aw man, this is some good stuff." he complimented with a cough.
"Yeah, it's great. That strain always makes me feel like everything's made of construction paper." Kenny explained as he was handed the paraphernalia in question, taking a drag of his own, "Man, you have no idea how much I've needed this."
"I'll bet." Mackey sympathized, "I uh, I heard about Butters. He was a really good kid."
"Yeah… Yeah he was." the boy agreed with a sigh, "Shit's been so fucked lately. Just a couple months ago I thought the worst thing that could ever happen to me was my friend finding out I was dating his ex… I miss that time." he explained before handing the joint back to the older man.
"Well, I know you're only here for Wendy's volunteer work and I'm not your counselor anymore but maybe I could try and help you out a little, m'kay?" the counselor suggested.
"I mean, I guess it could help to talk about it."
"That's the… Spirit." Mackey paused for a moment and examined the joint, "M'kay, this stuff must be kicking in, I just got a serious case of deja-vu." he said before taking another hit and passing it back to Kenny, "So-" he began with a cough, "So why don't you start by telling me how you're feeling, m'kay?"
Kenny thought about it for a second, "I've just been really depressed lately. Scared too, like something seriously bad is about to go down… Like I'm about to lose everything I've ever cared about." he explained.
"M'kay, that's good-"
"Is it?"
"No, I mean, what you're tellin' me's fucking horrible but it's good that you're getting it off your chest." the counselor explained, "M'kay, now have you talked to anyone else about this? Wendy? Your sister? Your friends?"
Kenny shook his head, "No, Karen and Wendy are worried enough as it is. They've got this agreement they think I don't know about where they won't let me be alone. This is actually the first time in a week they haven't been by my side." he explained with a grin, "Not that I'm bitching. I love those two more than anything else." he explained before taking the joint.
"M'kay, well what about friends? You and Craig are pretty close, same with that one kid who's name I can never remember, and I hear you're hanging out with the goth kids now, I know they'd love to hear about your miseries."
"The goth kids are really more like misery fetishists, not so much people you'd go to for mental health advice. Douchebag's a great listener but that's about it. And Craig?" Kenny pulled out his phone and handed it to the older man with his texts open.
Mackey scrolled through the texts with a surprised look, "Huh, I never really thought about how diverse the word cancer could be when you really put your mind to it. Why's he so steamed at you anyway?"
Kenny let out the smoke in his throat to answer, "He blames me and the guys for Tweek getting killed."
"Why's that?"
The boy shrugged as he passed the joint, "He says we're the source of everything bad that happens in this town." he explained, "I mean, maybe it does have something to do with me. The night Tweek died was when the nightmares started."
"Nightmares?"
"Yeah. I didn't mention those?"
"You didn't. You wanna tell me what they're about?"
"I can't really describe them, aside from just saying how horrifying they are." Kenny explained.
"Well, could you draw them?" the counselor asked.
Kenny's eyes widened in sudden realization, "Yeah, I think I could."
"Well come on then, I've got a key to the art room, let's go!" Mackey said, gesturing for Kenny to follow him into the hall.
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Wendy was worried when she'd woken up to find her boyfriend had gone missing, that emotion quickly metamorphosed into annoyance when she found her beret was gone as well. Kenny was something of a drag queen, everyone knew it, even back when they were kids and the boys would do their weird Game of Thrones roleplay thing, Kenny would play the princess. Now, her boyfriend's hobby of dressing up as a woman didn't bother her, but she was not about to start sharing clothes with him so he could impersonate her.
The girl found herself at Counselor Mackey's office door and burst in, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE-" she began to shout, only to find that the room was completely devoid of life. "Doing?" she thought for sure he'd be here, where else would he go? She stood in silence, deep in thought when she heard a pair of voices from a nearby room.
Wendy followed the sound through the empty hallways, making her way through the elementary school before finding the door to the art room wide open, "M'kay, this is… This is fuckin' trippy dude." she heard Mr. Mackey say from within before entering.
Inside the room she saw Kenny in front of a canvas, mumbling in some weird dialect she couldn't decipher while violently painting a portrait of what looked to be some sort of horrifying cross between a man and a fish, "Kenny?" she asked, the boy didn't answer though, it was as though he were entranced.
"He's been like that for an hour." Mr. Mackey informed as he sucked on a joint, "Just standing there with a blank look on his face, painting. It's honestly freaking me out a little."
Wendy snatched the joint from her superior's hand, "First of all, you're supposed to be a role model." she scolded before snuffing the drug out on the bottom of her shoe.
"Fuckin' narc." the counselor mumbled.
The girl paid him no mind as she approached her boyfriend, "Kenny?" she repeated, grabbing her beret off his head and putting back in its rightful place on her own, she examined the painting closely, it was detailed, almost as though it was made not by a daredevil/mechanic/part-time gun store employee, but rather a professional artist with years of experience, "He made this in an hour?" she questioned the older man.
"No. That one he did in the past five minutes." Mackey clarified, "These are what he did with the rest of the hour." he revealed, gesturing toward a row of about thirteen wet paintings lined up against the wall. Most of them appearing to be of the same species of fish people as depicted in his current work, killing him in various ways. One looked to be of two men in black suits standing over him on an operating table, surgical tools in hand. But the biggest one of them all was of an enormous creature destroying a city, some sort of a monster with an octopus-like head with what looked almost like a beard of tentacles, dragon wings on its back, and a vaguely human body with shiny green skin. "He painted all of these?" she questioned.
"Now, I know what you're gonna tell me, m'kay? You're gonna say I'm being real irresponsible by letting him waste school resources like this. But that art teacher's been a real fucking pain in my ass lately and this is way cooler than anything those little gremlin bastards in her class could ever come up with, so fuck it, I wanna see how this plays out, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey explained
Wendy wasn't about to sit here and argue with a stoned out elementary school counselor, not while her boyfriend was in such a terrifying state. She stared at the painting of the monster, its tentacles, its wings, it looked so otherworldly yet so familiar at the same time, where had she seen it before? Then it struck her, she remembered back to when she was around eight or nine, watching a news broadcast about how an ancient god was awoken to reign over the world for three-thousand years, driving humanity to madness and enslaving them. "Cthulhu." she said under her breath.
It seemed as though she'd said the secret word of the day, because for the first time since her arrival Kenny had given her some kind of reaction, although she almost wished he didn't, "SOONHEWILLBESOONHEWILLBESOONHEWILLBESOONHEWILLBESOONHEWILLBESOONHEWILLBE-" the boy rambled, rapidly screaming at the top of his lungs as he fell to the ground.
"Oh fuck this shit, I'm gettin' the hell out of here, m'kay?!" Mackey stated before rushing out of the room.
Wendy rushed to the boy's side, trying to calm him down as he uncontrollably spazzed out on the floor, "Kenny, what's wrong?! Tell me what's happening?! What are you saying?!" she questioned.
"SOON HE WILL BE RISEN! THE DARK LORD IS COMING! ALL PRAISE HIM, THE GREAT OLD ONE, CTHULHU!" Kenny screamed, his eyes rolling into the back of his head before he finally passed out.
Wendy was stunned in terror as she gripped her boyfriend's limp body close to her chest, just one question on her mind, "What's happening to you, Kenny McCormick?"
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Karen gripped her head as a sharp pain shot through it like a bullet, "You okay?" Pete questioned.
"Yeah, I'm fine." the girl assured, "Just… Nervous, I guess."
"You're sure you still wanna do this, right?" Henrietta questioned.
"Yeah, I'm sure"
"Alright, let's start getting everything together then." Michael stated.
