Hello Lion King community!
Sorry for not posting anything lately. College started back up and I got stuck in a writer's block state of mind. But I got a new fun song for everyone!
This one was submitted by CalvinFujii and was really fun making. Thanks again for the suggestion friend!
Also, for future requests, I've gotten many interesting song ideas. Still there is one thing I need with them. For each song and character I need a story to go along with them so that it flows and makes sense. I don't want them singing a song just for the sake of singing. I want a purpose behind the song.
With that being said, let's join our favorite meerkat and warthog duo and see what musical parody they got in store for us.
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If I Didn't Have You
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Now being the adopted uncles to a king of one of the grandest savannas in Africa had its perks, but sometimes Timon and Pumbaa needed to get away from all the lions and cheetahs and cubs and get back to their roots: there old oasis get away! There, there was no annoying flamingos bathing in their pond in the morning, no monkey neighbors hooting and hollering every hump day, and definitely no spoiled little PRINCESSES to babysit. Nothing but peace and quiet for the entire week with the Hakuna Matata family.
"Ah…" Timon sighed in relief as he reclined in a wooden chair by the water, "This is the life…"
"You said it buddy…" Pumbaa replied, sitting in larger chair next to him. He suddenly clapped his hoofs like a master summoning house keeping, "Oh room service!"
Suddenly 3 meerkats lined up in front of the warthog with green hand towels draped over their arms like butlers. The warthog kicked up his hind hoofs and ordered: "I'll have a dung beetle platter and a hoof rub please?"
Immediately the meerkats nodded before getting to work. One began to massage Pumbaa's hoofs, the second proceeded to give him a shoulder rub, while the last scurried off to get his food order. Pumbaa let out a sigh of relief as he reclined back and let the meerkats tend to his every word. While this took place, Timon grabbed a coconut drink on a nearby stump and proceeded to drink the fruity beverage.
Yep… this was a getaway they desperately needed and greatly deserved.
"I thought I'd find you two here." Timon heard the familiar voice before picking his head up out of the chair and looking around. Sure enough, he spotted two elderly looking meerkats coming his way.
"Ma! Unlce Max!" Timon waved with a big smile plastered on his face, "Come on guys! Pull up a chair! Relax with us a bit!" Ma quickly pulled up a banana leaf chair and relaxed with her baby and his friend. Unlce Max however kept standing.
"Ahem," the old meerkat cleared his throat to get his nephew's attention, "Though I'm happy to see you again as much as the next guy, there's something we need to talk about, sonny boy."
"Huh?" Timon looked back at his Uncle with a raised brow, "and what might that be?"
"Well there comes a time in a meerkat's life where they find that they are missing something… or rather someone." He explained, "Someone to scurry with… to be afraid with… to tunnel with. You know what I'm saying?" This earned a raised brow from Timon and he and Pumbaa got up and looked at Max.
"Um, Uncle?" Timon replied, "You know, we're not living in the desert anymore, so we kind of don't have to do that stuff anymore. Secondly, what's the point you are getting at with this little speech?"
"Timon my boy!" Max wrapped a hand around Timon's shoulder, "I think it's time we start looking for a meerkat you can get hitched with!"
The moment Max mentioned this, Timon's jaw hit the floor. Marriage?!
"Pffft! Hahahaha!" Timon busted out laughed as he got out of his chair and slapped his knees, finding this all amusing, "Oh that's a good one! You really had me going there Max. A wife? Woooo… you're a riot!" His uncle however didn't share Timon's views on the matter.
"This is no joke, Timon." Max said in all seriousness, "We… meaning your mother and I… think it's time you start looking for a nice gal to settle down with."
"Wow! How thoughtful!" Pumbaa exclaimed as he listened in on the conversation. As the meerkat servants brought out his plate of grubs, he stuffed his face as he asked Timon: "So who's the lucky lady?"
"No one!" Timon shot back at his friend before looking back at his relatives with a sympathetic look, "Max, Ma, I appreciate the thought. Truly, you've touched me to the core. But I'm not looking to get hitched. I got everything I need. I don't need a wife."
"But Timmy," Ma sat up and addressed her son, "You've had no one around, growing up. I think maybe Max is onto something. It wouldn't hurt to try at least."
"Guys, I got everything I could ever ask for." Timon explained, "My Hakuna Matata, my friends back home, and especially my best buddy right here."
"The Mr. Pig?" Max gestured to Pumbaa, "You're saying that you're ok with just having him rather than a nice girl or even pursuing one for Pete sake?"
"Hey! Great job Max, you hit the nail on the head!" Timon said as he wrapped a arm around Pumbaa, "When it comes down to it, I really don't need anything but my best buddy here."
Max took a moment to look at both of them. They were giving him big toothy grins, trying to sell the fact that they were all they really needed but this didn't convince the old meerkat one bit.
"See?" Max whispered to Ma, "Told you the boy wasn't straight in the head."
Of course both Timon and Pumbaa heard this, causing them to deadpan. Timon was about to open his mouth but Pumbaa stepped in and offered a suggestion.
"Excuse me Mr. Uncle and Mrs. Ma," he addressed them, "Perhaps there's an easier way to explain what my ol' pall Timon is trying to say?"
"Oh?" Ma, eyed the warthog with interest, "how so?"
"You know," Pumbaa smirked, "I was hoping you'd ask. Hit it!"
Suddenly everything around them turned black, causing Uncle Max to let out a terrified yelp and jump into Ma's arms. She just rolled her eyes, thinking how even in this paradise he was still such a scaredy-meerkat. Suddenly a spotlight appeared on Timon and Pumbaa on a stage in front of a waterfall. Both of them had on top hats and canes in their hands/hoofs. Both Ma and Max gave them odd looks. What was going on? And was that… music playing?
Pumbaa:
If I were a rich pig,
with a million or two,
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Timon:
I'd live in a tree house,
in a room with a view.
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Pumbaa:
And if I were handsome
(Timon: no way.)
(Pumbaa: It could happen.)
Those dream do come true,
I wouldn't have nothin'
If I didn't have you.
Wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you!
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Timon:
Can I tell you something?
For years I have envied,
(Pumbaa: You're green with it.)
Your grace and your charm.
Everyone loves you,
you know?
(Pumbaa: Oh stop it.)
But I must admit it,
Big guy you always come through.
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you.
(Both of them jump in hammocks)
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Timon and Pumbaa:
You and me together!
That's how it always should be!
One without the other,
Don't mean nothing to me.
Noooothiiing toooo meeeee.
(Both switch to timon as a waiter and pumbaa at a table)
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Timon:
Yes I wouldn't have nothing…
If I didn't have you to serve.
(Serves him a plate of grubs)
I'm just a spunky little meerkat,
With a Hakuna Matata nerve.
(Pumbaa proceeds to stuff his face)
Hey, I never told you this…
But sometimes I get a little blue.
(Pumbaa: You say something Timon?)
But I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you!
Suddenly they both tossed away their hats and canes, kicked over the table and squared up to each other before holding each other's hands and dancing on the floor in a tap-dancing motion. During the dance routine, all the commotion began to attract other members of the meerkat colony to see what was going on. Several meerkats surrounded Ma and Max as they watched the duo dancing together.
"Look Ma I'm dancing!" Timon exclaimed as he and Pumbaa were gliding across the stage.
"Can you let me lead?" Pumbaa asked before twirling Timon.
"Certainly, big guy," Timon chuckled before being lifted up by Pumbaa and spun over the warthog's head, "Look at us! Two insectivores light on our feet!" suddenly however, Pumbaa put him down and pulled Timon close. The meerkat realized what his buddy was about to do and he narrowed his eyes.
"Don't you dare dip me. Don't you dare dip me! Don't you dare- ack!" Pumbaa dipped him and there was a sudden cracking sound, causing all of the audience to wince and Timon to groan: "Owe… I should have stretched."
Despite this little technical difficulty, Pumbaa dropped Timon before proceeding with the rest of the song.
Pumbaa:
Yes I wouldn't have nothin'
If I didn't have you.
(Timon: I know what you mean, buddy because I-)
I wouldn't know where to go…
(Timon: Me too because I-)
Or know, what to do.
(Timon: That's my line you ham!)
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Timon and Pumbaa:
I don't have to say it,
(Pumbaa: Ah I'll say it anyway.)
Cause we both know it's true…
I wouldn't have nothin' If I didn't have,
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have,
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have…
Youuuuuuu!
(pause)
Timon:
One more time!
(The stage suddenly gets filled with the meerkat colony)
Wait hold up!
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Pumbaa:
I don't have to say it,
(Timon: Where did you all come from?!)
But we both know it's true….
(Timon: you're ruining our big number!)
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Entire meerkat colony:
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have…
You wouldn't have nothin' if you didn't have…
He wouldn't have nothin' if he didn't have…
YOU!
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Timon:
YOU!
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Pumbaa:
YOU!
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Timon:
A-E-I-O
That means you!
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Everyone:
YA!
At the end, the lights came back on and everyone began to chant and cheer to the two performers, loving the act. Pumbaa began to take a bow while Ma and Max approached him and Timon. Seeing the number and watching them both interact set both of the elderly meerkat's minds at ease.
"Well… I hate to say it," Max sighed as he cleared his throat, "But it would appear as you really don't need anything else."
"You both got each other." Ma smiled, "and knowing that you're both happy is all that we need to know."
"Yep!" Pumbaa nodded happily, "You and me together forever. Right Timon?" he was going to pat his best buddy on the shoulder, but that's when he realized: Timon wasn't there. "Uh… Timon?" Pumbaa looked around the crowd of meerkats until he spotted his best friend. And he was… with someone?
"So, uh…" Timon leaned in towards a dainty little meerkat girl with long blond hair and gave her a charming grin, "I hear you like tunnels. Mind if I dig one for you, going straight for your heart?" this earned a giggle from the girl as she began to stride away and Timon followed her with hearts showing over his head.
Upon hearing the cheesy pickup line and seeing him fall head over heels for another meerkat, Ma, Uncle Max and Pumbaa busted out laughing. Yep, that was there Timon. He was lazy, he was a goofball, he was a clouts, but he had everything he needed in life. And if he found himself ever lacking… then Hakuna Matata.
THE END
And So ends another song!
For those who don't know, the song was originally from Monster's Inc. and it matches them both pretty well.
As always, leave a review and let me know what you think of this one. The next chapter I'll be doing one of my own original parodies but I want to hear the ideas you all have for another paradoy. Just remember that with each song there has to be a good plot that goes along with it.
Example: Kion gets in an argument with Rani and gets flustered. His Lion Guard notices this and confront him on his crush on Rani. In response, he sings "I won't say I'm in love." before realizing he sort of does have a crush on her, but dare not say it out loud.
Until next time everyone. This is Rogue Lion, signing off
(Salute's audience)
