Chapter 9
'Adam!'
Adam turned around from tending his horse as Missie ran into the barn, the girl giving him a big hug. 'Hey, my Missie-Moo. Look at you! What are you doing up and around?'
'Pa let me out to come see you when I saw you riding in. How was your trip?'
'Good, got those contracts secured and for a better price per head then we'd been expecting.'
'Oh that's great news, Pa's gonna be so pleased.'
'And you know, I had a little spare time on my hands while I was there. I might have even brought you home a little pressent.'
'Really? What is it?'
'No, I've missed you Adam. No I'm glad your home older brother?' He teased with a grin.
She laughed looking up at him and hugged him tighter. 'You know I missed you and I really am happy your home.'
'That's better.' He kissed her head then made her step back so he could have a good look at her. She was bundled up warmly and he guessed that was a condition of her being allowed out to see him. She looked better then she had been when he'd left a few days previous. 'How have you been?'
'I'm okay, feeling better but still taking things easy. Can I help with Sport? Maybe take those saddlebags to the house?'
He placed his hand down firmly on the saddlebags as she went to take them. 'Ah ah ah. Your not peeking in those saddlebags my dear.'
'Just a little itty bitty peek? Please?'
'No.' He slung them over his shoulder and went back to untacking his gelding. He heard Missie sneaking closer and turned around, the girl standing behind him with a grin. 'I know what your up to, I've got two younger brothers you know.'
'Awe shucks Adam. Half the fun of a present is trying to peek at it.'
'Lord help us all when Christmas arrives. You'll be worse then Joe on Christmas morning.'
She giggled mischievously. 'I can be three times worse then Little Joe if I put my mind to it.'
'I don't doubt it.' He slid the saddle off Sports back and placed it aside. 'How about you make yourself useful for once and get this guy his oats?' She gave him a mock salute and headed over to the feed as he shook his head in amusement. That girl. Boy, she was quite something. Cheeky and up to no good both were the first things to come to mind. He led the gelding into his stall and tied him up, smiling as he heard her humming while she filled his feed bucket. Her humming was cut short however by a severe coughing fit, the girl placing her hand on the wall to steady herself as she coughed into her handkerchief. He quickly went over, taking his canteen of water with him and patted her back to help her cough up what was in her lungs. She finally got it up, her cheeks red and her eyes filled with tears as she rested against him. 'Easy, your alright.' She nodded, catching her breath and he handed her the canteen. 'Take a drink.'
'Thank you.' Her voice was hoarse and raspy, the girl taking a few sips to wet her dry throat. She handed it back to him, sighing. 'Can't even feed your horse yet.'
'Don't worry about that, your still getting better. Come on, I think you've been out enough. Time for you to head back inside.'
She nodded and he picked up the grain for his horse and fed him before they started to the house. 'Doc Martain says I'm getting better but I don't feel it. My chest hurts, I'm sick of coughing and I've been really really tired.'
Adam frowned a little. It'd been a couple weeks now since her close brush with drowning then the pneumonia, shouldn't she have started to be improving by now? He noticed too how heavily she was leaning on him for support, his arm around her waist to steady her. 'That's no good. Maybe some quality brother and sister time might help a little.'
'As long as we're not going anywhere near water.'
'We won't, promise.' He opened the door, closed it behind them and helped her out of her jacket and shawl before hanging his hat up. 'I'll go speak to Pa then I'll give you your present.'
Missie's face lit up. 'Can I have a hint?'
'Nope.' He walked around to his father's office, his father looking up from his ledgers. 'I got the contract Pa. Twenty dollars a head.'
'That's great news son, great news. How was the rest of your trip?'
'The usual. Where's Hoss and Little Joe?'
'Hoss went to lend a hand to one of the neighbors with a fence, their hog's broke out onto that section of land down near Sheep River so to keep their pigs out he offered to go help. Joe's out breaking horses in for that army contract we've got to fill by the end of next week.' He looked past Adam at Missie who was leaning against the corner of the wall heavily. 'Missie, you alright?' Adam turned to his sister as he stood and hurried over to her. 'Missie-'
'I'm fine Pa, just a little lightheaded is all.' She had her eyes closed as she waited for the dizziness to pass. 'Adam getting home early was too much of a surprise.'
'I think it's time for you to be off your feet and resting my girl.' He offered her his arm and she didn't protest as he helped her over to the couch to lie down. 'Go grab her some water Adam.'
'I'm fine Pa-' He made her lie down, taking off her boots so her feet could go on the couch. 'Honest.'
'Maybe but you still need to be resting my dear. You've been up too much today.' He placed a pillow down behind her head, the girl sighing as he made her rest against it. 'I know you wanted to cook a special meal for Adam coming home but your trying to do too much.'
'Ssssh, I don't want him hearing!' She protested, shooting a look towards the kitchen where her brother had disappeared. 'It's supposed to be a surprise.'
'He's probably seen what you've been doing in there anyway.'
Missie sighed again. 'Nothing's ever a surprise around here.'
'I thought Hop Sing was away?' Adam remarked as he returned with a cup of water for the girl. 'Who's been cooking?'
'I was.' She replied softly, taking a sip to satisfy her father then placed it aside. 'I wanted to surprise you with a nice dinner and your favorite dessert after that long ride.'
'That's a nice gesture Missie but you didn't have to. You've been ill, you should be resting.'
'I wanted too. Besides, it's a change from Pa's cooking.'
Ben gasped, pretending to be offended by his daughter. 'Missie.'
'Sorry Pa-' She chuckled. 'Your great at a lot of things but making a cake isn't one of your strong points.'
'I know what you mean Missie, I don't know how we survived until Hop Sing arrived.'
'That'll be enough out of you Adam. I can see when my culinary efforts aren't appreciated.' He stood up, glancing over at the grandfather clock. 'I might go see how Joe is going with those horses. I'll be back in time for dinner. Adam, watch your sister-' He strapped his pistol on, glancing back over at them as he tied it onto his leg. 'Make sure she rests. Missie, Adam's in charge. I don't want you giving him trouble.'
'Trouble?' She raised her eyebrow. 'Me?'
'Yes you. I'll be back soon. Behave.'
'Hmph. Behave. Behave he says.' She turned to Adam after Ben had walked out. 'Guess I know now how my sister's felt each time Ma said that each morning.' He chuckled as he sat down across from her, placing his saddlebags onto the coffee table. 'Do I get my surprise now?'
'I suppose so.'
'Yay.'
Adam smiled a little at her enthusiasm as he sorted through his saddlebag. He pulled out a large parcel and a smaller one, handing her the bigger one first. 'This one first.'
'Feels awful heavy.' She held it up to her ear, shaking it to see if it made any noise. It didn't. 'What is it?'
'Open it and you'll see.'
'I want to guess. Is it books?'
'Open it.'
'Spoilsport.' She teased, unwrapping the brown paper it'd been packaged in. Three books were inside and she looked carefully at the titles. 'The dog Cru-' She frowned, trying to sound it out. 'Cruze?'
'Crusoe.'
'Crouse. And his ma-ster. The dog Crusoe and his master.'
'Well done. I can see you've been practicing.'
'I've been trying hard, real hard.' She looked at the next title. 'The y-young fur-tr-traders.'
'Good.'
'And the last one is The Co-coral island.'
'Very good Missie.' She smiled, placing two of the books on the table and kept the bigger one on her lap. 'I thought we could read them together.'
'There's even pictures in this one.' She flipped through, looking at one of the dog running alongside a horse. 'That's a huge dog. Pa had a dog, she was almost as big as this one.'
'What happened to her?'
'Someone shot her, we found her dead after she'd been missing a couple days. She was going to have a litter, I was hoping Pa would give me a pup for Christmas but it didn't happen.' She flicked through a few more pages. 'Here's one, the dog curled up by the fire. Have you read this through?'
'I had a glance through it before I brought it but no. That book was only published this year too so its very new.'
'Thank you Adam, I can't wait to read through them.' Missie looked over at the other package he had wrapped up. 'And what's in the other one? Oh, let me guess. I've got to open it?'
'Your learning.' He winked and he handed it to her. 'I hope you like it.'
'It's beautiful Adam.' She took the hair barett from the box and held it up to the light. The clear crystal inlay glistened and she ran her thumb over them. It was in the shape of a butterfly, not too big or fancy but just right. 'Its gorgeous.'
'I saw it on my way to the stock dealer and knew you had to have it. You can wear it the next time there's a dance. You'll be the pretiest Belle of the ball.'
'I highly doubt that but thank you Adam for the compliment.' She placed the barett back in the box and glanced at the clock then gasped. 'The cake! I forgot the cake.'
'Easy-' He stopped her before she lept off the couch. 'We'll go take a look at it but there's no sense breaking your neck. Get up slowly or you'll get dizzy.'
She rolled her eyes and sat up slowly. 'Yes Adam.'
'Better.'
They headed into the kitchen and Missie grabbed a cloth off the bench, cautiously opening the oven. The cake was dark brown but not burnt and she breathed a sigh of relief. 'Oh man, I thought it was going to be burnt. Hand me that knife and I'll make sure it's cooked through.' The cake was cooked and carefully she took it out of the oven and placed it on the table to cool. 'At least that turned out okay, I forgot all about it when I saw you ride in.'
Adam chuckled, the girl putting an apron on over her dress and started peeling potatoes. Watching her leaning over the stove to check a sauce she was making brought back a memory of him as a boy waiting for Inger to let him taste her cooking at Christmas time. With her hair done up and the apron, the way she moved around the kitchen with ease reminded him of her. It had been years since a woman had stood at that stove, carefully preparing meals for the menfolk. Missie glanced up from the potatoes, catching him watching her and smiled. 'What?'
'Nothin.'
'I know that look older brother, something has you amused.'
'I'm just wondering how someone who wishes to run with the menfolk around here and shoot cougars as well as you are so proficient in the kitchen as well.'
'Ma taught me that a woman needed to be able to do anything and Pa seconded that. He always said if anything happened to him he wanted to know we'd be taken care of. So I can cook and clean and do everything society deems as woman's work and know how to do most men's work too. Pa didn't want us getting into another situation like we had been in because there wasn't a man around to take care of us. He didn't want his girls to be shrinking violets but at the same time ensured that we still had the qualities of a lady. That's why he made sure I was so well spoken and well mannered. Taught me to ride sidesaddle too, always made sure we ladies rode sidesaddle to church.'
'He did a good job with you.'
'He tried, if you haven't noticed I'm not exactly the easiest person to parent.' She cut another potato up then looked back at him. 'Are you going to continue sitting there giving me compliments and letting me do all the work or are you going to help?'
He stood up, joining her at the bench. 'What would you like me to do?'
'For starters, you can get busy snapping those beans.'
'Yes ma'am.'
'Anybody home?'
'We're in the kitchen.' Missie called out to Little Joe, glancing at the gravy on the stove Adam was stirring. 'Stir it a little faster Adam, you don't want it sticking to the bottom and getting burnt.'
'Okay, okay. Gosh Missie, I never heard you be so bosy.'
'And you thought cooking was easy work.' She replied as she took a look in the oven at the roast. 'Welcome to a womans world my dear brother.'
Adam rolled his eyes again, mumbling under his breath. 'I'll stick to ranchin.'
'You say something?'
'I said your doing a fine job cookin.'
'I never thought I'd see the day Adam Cartwright doned an apron and slaved away over a hot stove.' Joe exclaimed with amusement, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. 'How'd you manage to rope him into helping you?'
'Oh it was easy enough to twist his arm when I've got him around my little finger.' She grinned at him then looked at Joe. 'Right, since your here-'
'No no no, I am NOT getting back in the kitchen with you.'
'Joe Cartwright, you get back here now!' She yelled loudly at the figure sprinting from the doorway. 'If you don't help-' Her words were snatched away by the spasm that convulsed her lungs, reaching for the table to steady herself. She tried to catch her breath as her throat and lungs burned while tears ran down her cheeks. She couldn't breath, she couldn't breath-
'Easy, easy Missie.' Adam had been at her side the instant she'd started coughing, Joe standing in the kitchen doorway with a look of horror on his face. The girls lips were starting to go blue as she struggled for air and she began to choke. He began to hit her between the shoulder blades with the palm of his hand but still she couldn't breathe. Her struggling was becoming less and less, her lips becoming bluer and he began to slightly panic. 'Joe, give us a hand.'
What was he to do? He had no idea- An image flashed through his mind. Himself choaking as a ten year old at a party and how Hoss had helped clear it. He hurried over, Adam still hitting her without effect. He shoved him aside, taking hold of Missie around her stomach and thrust up into her chest like he had. He did it again, finally managing to clear the blockage and the girl collapsed limp in his arms as she caught her breath.
'Easy, easy, your okay Missie.' Adam soothed softly as he rubbed her back. He hated seeing her in pain yet there wasn't anything else he could do to help her. Tears were streaming down her face, Joe's face as sober as his own. He motioned for him to pass her over and he did and he held her close. 'Easy, I've got you.'
'What's going on in here?' Ben's voice echoed in the kitchen, worry creasing his brow. He'd heard the commotion from out in the barn and had hurried in. Adam and Joe had a look of horror on their faces, Missie with tears running down her cheeks as she clung to his eldest son. 'Missie-' He went over, looking at Adam. 'What happened Adam?'
'She was choaking again, I couldn't get it clear. Joe did.'
He looked at his youngest son and placed a hand on his shoulder in support. He'd seen Missie in an episode like this more then once but as far as he knew this would have been his first that had been this bad. Missie was still holding onto Adam but her breathing was becoming steadier again. 'You alright baby girl?'
'I'm okay Pa.' Her voice was hoarse again and thick with exhaustion. If Adam weren't holding her she knew her legs wouldn't hold her weight. 'Thank you Joe.'
He rubbed her back. 'As long as your alright.'
'I'm okay-'
Missie's legs buckled and he picked her up, sitting her down on the chair Ben pulled out for her. 'Just rest for a moment sweetheart. Grab her some water Joe.'
'I've got to get dinner finished.' She protested and tried to stand, Adam making her sit with a firm hand on her shoulder. 'The gravy will be burning.'
'We'll take care of the dinner.' Ben assured, hurrying over to the stove. 'It looks to be just fine.'
Joe returned, handing her a cup. 'Here Missie.'
'Thank you.'
'What do you need us to do?'
'The roast needs to be gotten out, the vegetables put in the serving dishes-' She glanced over at the cupboard. 'Forget it, just serve it up on the plates. I'm too tired to care-' She started coughing again and felt that unsettling urge in her stomach again. In her haste to reach the back door she almost fell over and barely made it in time to keep from messing up the kitchen. She heard heavy footsteps behind her as she leaned against the post, throwing up everything she'd eaten that day.
Ben rubbed her back as she vomited, wishing again there was more he could do for her. Missie had been going so well but with Hop Sing away she'd been up and working more then he'd liked with the insistence that she was fine. The girl most obviously certainly was not fine. She finally stopped throwing up and lent against the post too exhausted to clean up her face. 'Oh honey, I think it's time for you to go back to bed.'
It was almost as if she were under water again, her hearing telling her the voice was far away while her vision went fuzzier and dark. 'Pa...-'
Ben caught her as she collapsed, picking her up in his strong arms. 'I've got you honey, it's alright. I'll get you into bed.' He used her apron to clean the vomit and tears from her face then dumped it on the porch and carried her back inside.
'What's wrong Pa?'
'She's worn herself out, she's been doing too much. I told her to take it easy but she's as stubborn as you Joe.'
Adam went over to them as he took off the apron he'd been wearing, placing his hand on her forehead. 'She's burning up again Pa.'
He touched her flushed cheek, her skin burning with heat. 'Joe, ride for the doc. Adam bring up some cold water, we've got to get her cooled down.' He carried her through the house, cursing in his mind that Hop Sing had to go away. Missie shouldn't have been out of bed but she'd insisted she was well enough to cook. Her condition now was testament to the fact she wasn't.
Kicking her sleeping kitten off her bed he pushed the covers aside and laid her down. Hope protested loudly as he began to undress the girl, the kitten jumping back up to rub against his hands. 'Not now Hope.' He muttered angrily, pushing her away as his fingers struggled with her little buttons. Finally her shirt was undone and he placed it aside, stripping her down to her undergarments. Her whole body felt like it was on fire and he grabbed a clean towel off the washstand as Adam arrived with the water. 'I don't understand what brought this on, she's been improving so well.'
Adam placed the bucket beside the bed and grabbed a cloth of his own to wipe her down with. 'Joe's on his way, he'll be back with Paul soon.' He sat down on the bed beside her, wiping her face and neck as his father laid a cloth over legs. 'It's almost like a second infection or something. She's been keeping up with the tea hasn't she?'
'Religiously. Paul was worried about a relapse occurring, if I'd known her being up cooking would have brought this on I'd never have let Hop Sing go away right now.' He sighed heavily. 'Oh Missie, your going to contribute to more grey hairs then all my son's combined.'
Missie slowly began to become aware of someone sitting next to her, wiping her face with something and she forced her eyes open. She frowned, seeing she was back in her room and tried to remember what had happened. How'd she get back up here? She'd been down in the kitchen cooking- 'The roast!'
'Easy, easy Missie.' Ben soothed gently as she tried to get up and he held her down. 'The roast is fine. That's the least of my worries.'
'What happened?'
'You collapsed outside, your running a fever again. It's early in the morning, I've been trying to get it down all night.'
'I'm sorry Pa, you must be tired.'
'It's my job sweetheart, I don't mind.' He brushed a lock of her hair back over her ear. 'Your fever is coming down, the doc says it's just a flare up from doing to much too soon. How are you feeling?'
'Dreadful. I so wanted to do that dinner for Adam-' She began to cough and he helped her sit up a little. It was only a little cough but it was clear from the sound her chest was still congested. 'And I stuffed it all up. He brought me back those books and that pretty hair piece and I couldn't even cook him a decent meal.'
'It doesn't matter Missie.'
'It does, it does matter. I wanted to do something nice and I know the grub served up at the waystations is awful. I thought I could manage one simple meal.'
'Missie, take it easy sweetheart. Your getting worked up. You'll do yourself no good if you make yourself sick again.'
She nodded, forcing the panicking feeling in her stomach and the memory of her nightmare out of existence. 'I'm sorry Pa, I bet you didn't expect to be looking after a sick barstad who can't seem to keep others from getting into trouble on her account.'
'I don't want to hear that word from you again.' He said sternly, wiping her face again with the wet cloth. 'Okay?'
'Okay.'
'You get some sleep now. You need to rest.'
'No.'
'No? I'm not asking, I'm telling you to rest.'
'No.'
He sighed inwardly. 'Missie, you need to sleep to get better. You've been sleeping fine this week, haven't you?' The girl looked away, not answering as she started at Hope asleep next to her. 'Missie?'
'No.'
'No to sleeping or about sleeping this week?'
'I'm not sleeping.'
'What's wrong?'
'Why do you think anything's wrong? Just don't want to sleep is all. I'm not tired.'
'Considering you've been out cold a few hours I'd disagree with you there. Close your eyes and get some sleep.'
'No.'
'Missie, you are being stubborn.'
'You can't make me sleep if I don't want to.'
'And why don't you want to sleep?' The girl refused to both look or answer him. 'Missie, what's the matter?'
She felt his hand on her shoulder, tears threatening to creep out of her eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to sleep the night through. She hated night, hated thinking of sleep. Sleep brought the demons to life again. That was why she wouldn't sleep, instead spending the nights leant over her desk drawing the images that plagued her mind.
'Missie?'
'Nightmares.' She finally admitted softly. 'Too scared to sleep.'
'Why didn't you say so?' The girl shrugged, not offering any further answers and he sighed softly. For every step forward she took two back. 'I'm right here Missie, your safe and sound. Nothing's going to happen, I won't let it. You can sleep.'
'Will you stay?'
Ben nodded. 'Get some sleep my dear, I'll be right here.' The girl closed her eyes again, Hope moving closer and curling up beneath her chin, purring loudly. The effect of the kitten on the girl was almost instant, the girl's breathing matching her purrs and he knew she was dozing off. Gently he touched her forehead again. Her skin was cooler then it had been as the fever began to abate.
He went to wet the cloth for her neck again but the bucket was empty. Quietly he stood and started over to the washstand. In the moonlight filtering in through the window he could see a book open on her desk that he hadn't noticed before. Wringing the cloth out he moved closer to get a better look. It was her paper tablet open to a drawing she'd been working on. He frowned, picking up the tablet. It was a drawing of a girl in a corner, her arms hugging her knees with her head down on them. She'd drawn part of a man too, what looked like half of one drawn from behind. In his hand was a whip and Ben couldn't help the shiver of horror that traveled up his spine. Missie had been drawing memories.
He flipped through the paper tablet, the pain he felt looking at her drawings increasing with each flip of the pages. There were drawings of a man hitting a woman, a man hitting a young girl, a girl huddled over little children to protect them from the man holding the whip. So these were the images keeping her awake at night. His heart broke looking at the drawing of crying alone under what looked to be a bed. No child deserved to be treated the way she had. While punishment was part of raising children there was nothing to justify the abuse that had been laid on her.
He felt sick to his stomach, unable to flip through the remaining pages and placed the closed book back on the desk. Missie was hurting more then they'd ever know, the girl tried so hard to keep those memories locked up inside. They'd always be with her though no matter what she tried. The scars that weren't visible were the ones that ran the deepest.
Ben quietly returned to his place beside her bed, gazing upon the sleeping girl with sympathetic and sorrowful eyes. She was sleeping soundly and didn't stir as he placed the wet cloth back behind her neck. Thinking of what Missie had gone through gave him admiration of who she was today. With her past she'd have been justified in turning out a whole lot differently yet she was the sweetest, gentlest little girl he'd ever known. Despite what had happened to her she had so much love to give and it was a testament to her strength and courage. Missie was really something, a really special young girl that held a place firmly in his heart. As he continued learning about her past his admiration for her grew. Your a fighter. He touched her forehead again, her fever lessoning slightly from the last time he'd checked. Even though she wasn't his by blood nothing could change how he felt about her. He never imagined he'd have a daughter but he wouldn't have changed things for the world. Your my baby girl.
