Chapter 10


'Hey lil Miss-' Hoss's kind voice stirred Missie from the drawing she was working on and she smiled as he took a seat beside her on the blanket. 'How've you been?'

'I'm alright. Pa tell you what happened while you were gone?'

He nodded. 'He said you'd been feelin poorly. You look fine to me though.'

'I am, but I'm taking things real easy now. I don't want to be stuck back in bed.' She'd stopped working on her drawing and had her tablet underneath her skirt. 'Pa's getting better at cooking though, despite a few hiccups.'

'Hop Sing not here?'

'He had to go away the same day you did, he won't be back for a few days yet. Sorry Hoss, if I was able I'd cook you up a real nice meal.'

'Ah, don't worry yourself none over it.' He tossled her hair and she laughed, pulling away from him. 'What else been happenin around here?'

'Not much really, Pa's been busy taking care of me and Adam and Joe have been breaking in those horses for the army contract. I've just been spending time with this lil gal.' She refered to the kitten currled up beside her. 'And thinking. Doing a lot of thinking.'

'What you been thinkin about?'

'A garden.'

'A garden?'

She nodded, motioning towards the vegetable garden she was seated near. 'A garden. But not just any garden. I got to thinking after Pa and Adam had to go find that stuff for my tea when I was sick. If they couldn't have found any I'd have died. I don't want to take that chance again, 'specially as you guys don't have the knowledge of Indian medicine that I do. So I was thinking of planting a small garden with plants that can treat most common problems.'

'That sounds like a right good idea Lil Miss.' Hoss agreed. 'You drawn up an idea of how you'd want it?'

She nodded again. 'I did. I haven't asked Pa yet, I haven't told anyone. I know Hop Sing uses a lot of things but what use is his knowledge if he's not here to use it? I don't know how to use his herbs. Do you think Pa would think it's okay for me to have my own garden?'

'I'm sure he would. I'd be happy to help you too. Care to share your plan?'

Missie hesitated because of the contents of the rest of her drawing tablet but after a moment opened her book and quickly pulled out the required page. 'I still can't write real well so I just thought I'd explain it instead. I was going to have the short plants on this side that gets the most sun then the taller plants on the other. Plants that like shade can be positioned in between. Once it's starred it wouldn't take much work to keep up, just the drying and storing of the herbs as they mature.'

'You've put a lot of thought into this here plan. I'm impressed.'

'Thanks. I just hope Pa agrees.'

'Agrees to what?'

She jumped a little, glancing behind herself as Ben carried out a tray she guessed was carrying more tea for her. 'Nothin Pa, just talking to Hoss.'

'I've seen that look on your face before, your up to something-' He placed the tray on the blanket and joined them. 'Arent you?'

Hoss handed him the sheet she'd written her plan up on. 'Take a look at this Pa, lil Miss put a lot of thought into it.'

'Another garden?'

'But only a small one and I'd look after it, Hop Sing wouldn't be expected to look after it, promise.' She quickly replied. 'It's a herb garden, well, more correctly a weed garden. I got to thinking after me being sick that I should plant a garden with the herbs I know can treat illnesses and such. I'd save me having to go looking for them when they're needed because they'll be right here.'

'It's probably not the best time of year to be planting a garden in all honesty Missie, Winter will be here before we know it.'

'So it's not an outright no?'

'Of course not, I think it's a great idea. Without you knowing what you needed when we were stuck in that cabin I wouldn't still have my gorgeous baby girl now would I?' She blushed as he placed his hand on her shoulder. 'But I think that planting it in Spring would be a better idea, don't you?'

'Of course Pa, I hadn't thought about it being so late in the year. Besides, it'll give me time to find the plants I want and collect the seeds. I can dry them too so we'll have a supply for over winter. Back home someone was always coming down with a cough or sniffle during winter. With no doctor too Elizabeth and my garden supplied most of the town with medicine. They didn't like coming to an Indian for help but when your desperate you swallow your pride.'

'I said I'd help her too Pa.' Hoss added, eyeing off the cookies on the plate.

'We can all help.' He offered. 'That is of course if you want us too.'

Missie grinned. 'Sure Pa, I'd appreciate it.'

'Alright then. You best have your tea before it gets cold. I followed your instructions for the cookies so I hope they're edible.'

Hoss took a cookie and had a bite, a little surprised at how hard it was. 'Not bad Pa.'

'You always were a terrible liar. Missie?'

'I think you cooked them a little too long Pa and added a little bit too much baking soda.' She replied, swallowing hard and washing it down with her tea. 'But its an improvement Pa, honest.'

'They're dreadful, aren't they?'

'Pa, they're edible. That's a start. I'll come sit in the kitchen and help you with dinner. We'll do stew tonight, nice and easy. You want to help with the cooking Hoss?'

He stopped mid bite and looked up at her. 'Cookin?'

'Yeah, that lovely skill that men deem woman's work that they sorely miss when they're not around. That. I've had Adam and Joe working in the kitchen, you can pull your weight too. Or you can leave Pa to do the cooking. The choice is yours.'

'I'll help.' He looked at his father. 'Sorry Pa.'

'No worries son, I don't like eating my cooking either.' A cloud drifted across the sun and he glanced up. 'Time for you to head inside Missie.'

She looked up and frowned. 'Might be getting a shower out of that, the washing had best be brought in.'

'Why don't you and Hoss start on dinner then while I tend to the washing?'

'Why Pa, I do believe your trying to get out of another cooking lesson.' She grinned mischievously at him and picked up her tablet and kitten. Slowly she got to her feet, Ben watching her carefully incase she needed help. 'No dizziness this time, I'm doing better Pa.'

'Good, I'd like to keep it that way so don't over do it.' He cautioned, picking up the tray while Hoss shook out the grass from the blanket then handed it to him. 'Watch her in the kitchen Hoss, she's like an Army sergeant.'

He chuckled as he started to the house with his sister. 'I couldn't believe that lil Miss. Your always so gentle.'

'Oh Hoss-' She laughed loudly. 'Being gentle isn't what my siblings would have described me as I'm afraid. Their exact words were actually along the lines of bossy boots and Spoilsport.' He opened the door for her and she placed Hope in her cage before pulling up a seat. 'Aprons beside the door Hoss, would you mind passing me one too?'

'I thought Pa said you were to rest.' He handed her the apron then put one over his dirty clothes.

'I can still peel potatoes which is what intend to do.' She pulled the bowl over closer and picked up a knife. 'The water is in the pot already but the fire needs to be built up. Would you mind taking care of that?'

'Yes'm. Why'd Pa liken you to a sergeant for?'

Missie chuckled. 'Since I had that relapse a few days ago Pa hasn't let me on my feet much at all and he's taken over the cooking. I've been teaching him how to cook proper, or at least I'm tryin too. That's the fifth time he's tried to make oatmeal cookies. He insists he doesn't need me watching his every move but I'm afraid the way we're going through flour and such with his attempts we're going to need to do the supply run earlier.'

Hoss smiled in amusement and placed the remainder of the firewood into the stove. 'Best fill up the wood box, I'll be back in a jiffy. Don't you go overdoing it you hear?'

'Yes, yes.' She threw a potato peeling at him as he carried the box out to fill it. 'Whatever you say big brother.'

'Hello?'

'In the kitchen Adam. Where else would I be?' She added beneath her breath. Adam and Little Joe appeared in the door way and she did a double take. 'Oh boy, looks like one of those broncs got the better of you Little Joe.'

'It certainly did a number on him, that's for sure.' Adam agreed. 'Where's Pa?'

'Out bringing the washing in before we get rain.' She stood up, looking her brother over. 'What happened?'

'Got thrown a few times but the last one flipped over on top of me.' Joe explained, watching the girls expression. 'Looks like you and I will be dueling again for who gets hurt the most.'

'I'd prefer you not to do that.' She sighed heavily. 'Pa's got enough to worry about with me at the moment. I've got to get dinner ready and since you don't appear to be on deaths door I think Adam can handle patching you up.'

Adam rolled his eyes. 'Thanks Missie. Appreciate it.'

'How about helping with dinner instead then?'

'I'll tend to this one.' He went to the cupboard and began to gather the supplies he needed. 'What have you been doing today Missie?'

'Not much, resting mainly. Still trying to teach Pa to make cookies. Either I'm a terrible teacher or Pa just doesn't have a culinary bone in his body.' She'd sat back at the table, starting on another potato. 'And planning a garden to plant come spring.'

'Sounds like fun.' Joe winched as he took a seat, his bruised backside protesting loudly. 'What kind of garden? Flowers?'

'Weeds mostly.'

'Weeds? Why'd you want to plant weeds for?'

'For when you get yourself banged up like you have. It's a medicinal herb garden so I can have plants like the ones in the tea I've been having on hand all the time.'

'Sounds like a good idea.' Adam sat beside Joe, dipping a cottenball in warm water to clean the scratches on his face. 'I'm sure this one will need your garden the most.'

'Hey I was doing great till that last bronc.'

'Yeah yeah.'

'How is it going with the broncs anyway? Will you be finished with them in time?'

'We have to be, if we don't we loose the contract.'

'I wish I could help.'

'You are by having a good meal to come home too.'

'But I'm practically useless-' She felt another coughing fit coming on and quickly took a drink to try and ward it off. 'Ugh, I am so sick of this.'

Hoss returned, placing the wood down beside the stove and frowned as he saw Adam tending to their little brother. 'What happened?'

'Bronc.' Joe flinched as the wounds began to sting. 'When did you get back?'

'Ealier today. Them the broncs for the army?'

'Those would be the ones. We're way behind and this one won't be riding for a couple days at least.'

'You gonna meet the deadline?'

'Sure going to try.'

'If I wasn't sick I'd help.'

'Regardless if you were sick or not I wouldn't let you near those broncs.'

Missie rolled her eyes. 'Adam, I think I already proved I can stick to a bronc better then most men to Pa and Little Joe. I bet I could break and train a horse faster then you.'

'Oooh.' Joe looked up at Adam with a grin. 'I think she's challenging you.'

'She might be but I'm not taking her up on it.'

'Why not Adam?' Hoss questioned, closing the door to the stove again. 'Missie handles that roan like nobody's business.'

'That's because he's broke. I am not letting you on a wild horse Missie, end of discussion.'

'Your so melodramatic Adam.' She stood, adding them to the pot then her cough began to play up again.

Hoss placed his big hands on her shoulders and guided her back to her seat. 'That sure is a heck of a cough.'

'Tell me about it.' She croaked, reaching for her water. 'Feels like my lungs are about to be ripped out.'

'Who's melodramatic now?' Adam wondered out loud as he finished up with Joe. 'I think you've done enough for one day Missie, we'll take care of dinner.'

'I would like to eat something half edible, no insult intended.'

'Sure is a good storm blowing in-' Ben exclaimed as the wind blew the door shut behind him, his arms full of clean laundry from the line. 'What happened to you Joe?'

'Bronc.'

He placed the laundry down in the basket he'd forgotten to take with him. 'Your not hurt too bad are you?'

'No Pa, just some bumps and bruises.'

'He was lucky.' Adam cleared the table away and returned what he'd used back to the cupboard. 'That bay that's been giving us hell flipped over on him.' He made a point of looking at Missie. 'Could have been a lot worse.'

'Sure I shouldn't get the doc out?'

'I'm fine Pa-' He stood up with some difficulty, his aching muscles not appreciating the movement one bit. 'Be a bit stiff for a few days but I'll live.'

'If it's not Missie, it's you. How'd I become a father to such accident prone children is beyond me.'

'Hey, it's not my fault I keep being in the wrong place at the wrong time.' Missie protested.

'That's why I included accident in the equation. How's dinner coming along?'

'Getting there. You can bring the meat in for the stew. Just the rest of the vegetables to add after that then it can cook.'

'Why don't you go on and lie down?' Hoss offered as he started cutting up the carrots to add to the meal. 'Pa n I can look after this.'

'Alright.' There's not too many ways to mess stew up is there? She thought as she stood and collected her drawing tablet and kitten before heading into the living room. She could hear the wind starting to pick up as she started another drawing, this one a lighthearted memory of Hope playing with a ball of yarn. Her kitten asleep on her again she hummed softly while she drew.

'What are you working on?'

'Just a little drawing.' She glanced up as Adam joined her in the room. 'When would you be going to town next Adam?'

'In a couple days maybe. Why?'

'I was hoping maybe you could get me another paper tablet. This one is almost full.'

'You must be doing a lot of drawing then if you need another. Why don't you show me some of your work?'

She shook her head. 'It's not appropriate. Pa used to keep a journal when his thoughts got muddled. I can't keep a diary to get mine out so I draw instead. These ones are private.'

'I see. Any you could show me though?'

'Well, this one's not finished yet, I just started.' She held up the paper tablet, a rough outline of Hope sitting on her back legs with a ball of yarn between her paws. 'She was playing yesterday, I did this from memory.'

'Looks good Missie.'

'I'll finish it later, don't feel like drawing anymore.'

'How about we do some reading then?'

A loud clap of thunder in the distance made the girl jump, the girl getting up and hurrying to the window. Dark clouds were gathering on the horizon and a shiver ran up her spine. Not another storm.

'It's just a storm.' Adam exclaimed softly, joining her at the window. 'Come on, let's go start the next chapter of your new book.'

'I don't feel like reading.'

'What about a game of checkers then?'

Her eyes were fixed on those clouds, lightning lighting up the sky in the distance. Why was she scared it was going to storm? Why was she scared of rain? 'Don't feel like it.'

'Maybe singing then?'

'No!' She snapped as another clap of thunder sounded closer than before, the girl looking back at the window in fright. No longer was her mind registering behavior of a mature twelve year old instead it screamed with that of her younger years, hiding when she became scared. Pushing past Adam she bolted up the stairs, her door slamming loudly as she dived under her bed to hide.

'What was that about?' Joe asked, having seen her leave when he came in. 'You say something she didn't like?'

'The storm's spooked her.' He replied as he closed the shutters. 'How are you feeling?'

'Stiff and sore but I'll live.' A book was open on the couch as he went to sit and he frowned. 'Hey Adam, you see what Missie's been drawing?'

'That's private Joe, don't you go looking through her things.'

'I wasn't, she left it open.' He protested. 'You think that's Missie in the drawing?'

Adam's mouth set in a hard line as it did when he started to become angry. A girl was lying down with her arms wrapped around her legs, her face tucked in against them as a man stood over her with a raised arm and whip in hand. He flipped to the next page, a drawing of a man beating a woman on the floor as a girl watched on in the background. It made sense now why she wouldn't let him look at her drawings. 'Its Missie alright. Drawing must be her way of getting it out since she can't write well enough to diary it.'

Ben and Hoss came in, Ben frowning as he saw Missie's drawing book in Adam's hand. 'Why are you looking through her book?'

'She left it open when she ran upstairs. Have you seen these Pa?'

He sighed heavily, his son handing him the book. 'I have. Missie had it open on her desk when she was sick. She said she couldn't sleep because of nightmares.'

'That's why she keeps wanting to sleep in someone's room.'

'Afraid so.' Closing the book he placed it down on the table. 'I couldn't look through more then a few pages. Seeing those pictures makes what she says about her past a hell of a lot more real.'

'Those are Missie's memories?' Hoss wondered out loud. 'No wonder that lil gal is as flighty as a humminbird.'

'Where is Missie?'

'The storm scared her, she ran upstairs.'

'I'll go see her. Keep an eye on dinner would you.'

'Sure Pa.'

Ben headed upstairs, pausing to knock on the girls door before he entered but there was no answer. He waited a moment then opened it and looked around. The room was empty- He heard a sob coming from the direction of the bed and went over, kneeling down to look underneath. Missie was curled up in the corner tight against the wall whimpering like a scared pup. Oh honey-girl. It reminded him of the drawing in her book. 'Missie. Missie its Pa. Come on out from underneath there honey, there's nothing to be frightened of. I'm here.' She stiffened at his voice, her sobbing stopping abruptly. 'It's okay my girl, it's alright. Come on.' He coaxed softly, another clap of thunder sounding. 'Come here honey. There's nothing to be afraid of.'

After a moment she finally gave in and crawled out from beneath her bed, her Pa taking her in his arms. She shivered as more thunder rumbled in the distance and held onto him tighter.

'It's alright sweetheart.' He soothed softly, stroaking her hair firmly as she held onto him. 'Its just an ol storm. It can't harm you.'

'I know.' She whispered after a moment. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't be scared of a storm.' Her faculties were slowly returning and it began to dawn on her he'd had to coax her out from beneath her bed. Embarrassment was more that she felt rather then fear now. 'I'm sorry.'

'Everyone has something they're scared of. There's nothing to apologize for.' Missie didn't reply, just kept her hold on him tight, her face in his shoulder. 'What's got you so worked up honey? There must be a reason.'

'I don't, don't know.' She mumbled after a moment, wondering herself why the thunder had startled her. It was closer now and it began to rain. The increasing deluge on the roof of the house sounded like rushing water to the girl and she realized as she shuddered what it was. 'The river, it sounds like the river. I was so scared Pa.'

'Sssh honey, I know. I know.' He kissed her head gently. 'It's alright, your safe. There's nothing to be frightened of, I'm here.'

Missie nodded, closing her eyes. 'Thanks Pa.' Somehow the storm wasn't so scary now in his embrace. He made her feel safe, she was safe in his arms. 'Don't let go.'

'I won't honey. I've got you.'

They sat in silence for sometime as the rain beat down on the roof, Ben holding tightly the frightened girl on his lap. After sometime her shaking stopped and her breathing steadied as she relaxed. He kissed her head again softly and rested his cheek against her. 'You okay now my girl?'

'I'm okay Pa. I'm sorry.'

'No, no, it's alright. No need to apologize.' He assured her sincerely. 'Your brothers downstairs will be worrying about you, let's go down and show them you're alright.'

Missie nodded and stood then gave him her hand to help him up. 'You must think I'm foolish.'

'Nothing of the sort my girl.' He placed his arm around her shoulders as they started out of her room. 'Everyone has something they're scared of.'

'What are you scared of Pa?'

'Something happening to one of my children.' They stopped in the hallway, Ben looking down at his daughter. 'I worry every time one of you walk out the door, every time your not under the safety of my roof but I don't let that fear control me. Short of locking you all up and throwing away the key there's nothing I can do to keep you safe all the time.'

She chuckled a little. 'I don't know about that Pa, Doc Martin might appreciate you locking Little Joe up.'

Ben laughed. 'Between you and him Doc Martin might as well live here just to take care of the two of you.'

'What do you do about your fear though? How do you deal with it?'

'I find that prayer and faith in God, handing my worries and problems over to him is the best way of dealing with troubles life gives us.'

'I've never thought of that before.' She mused. 'Does it work Pa?'

'It does for me honey.'

'I might try it sometime Pa.'

He smiled. 'Good idea my girl. Now let's go join your brothers shall we?'