Setting a steady pace, the five of us headed back towards Dauntless.

To our surprise, however, when we were still some ways from the compound, we ran into Shauna.

"Shauna?" I called out, confused. "Aren't you supposed to be guarding the gates of the compound? What are you doing out here?"

Instead of answering me, Shauna threw her arms around me. "Lauren! I was so worried."

"Worried?"

Shauna nodded, squeezing me in her arms. "Your brother Marc came to me and asked me to look for you. You guys were expected back two days ago!"

I saw Eric frowning, almost scowling, at Shauna.

Shauna noticed as well, and she said dryly, "Well, hello to you, too, snake."

Eric opened his mouth to retort, but then, shaking his head, he shut his mouth and just walked past us.

Shauna greeted the others as well before saying, "Come on. You're nearly back to Dauntless now. Let's go. Your brother will be glad to see you safe."

As we walked back together, Shauna asked me curiously, "What was the holdup coming back?"

"Um…" I hesitated, not sure if I was allowed to tell her.

Hearing Shauna's question, Eric threw us a glare over his shoulder.

"… Something happened," I finished lamely.

I heard Eric snort, entirely unimpressed. Bastard, I cursed him in my head.

Shauna blinked. Then, she burst out laughing. "All right, all right, I get it. You can't say."

"Sorry," I apologized, abashed.

Shauna shook her head. "Nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn't have asked, I guess."

Under his breath, Eric muttered, "No, you really shouldn't."


When we finally arrived back at Dauntless headquarters, Max frowned at seeing Shauna with us. "Excuse me," he said immediately. "What are you doing with them? Aren't you a guard?"

"Oh… yes," Shauna replied, getting nervous when she saw Max frowning down at her.

"Then why were you away from the gate?" Max inquired sternly. "You should be disciplined for leaving your post - "

"No." My brother, Marc, stepped into the room, with Tori right behind him. "She went at my request. I told her to search for the mission team."

However, instead of accepting this explanation, Max seemed even more upset at this. "You sent her? To find the mission team?"

Marc nodded.

Max scowled. "Marc, you - " Max paused, as though struggling to find the right words to say. Finally, he grunted, "We'll talk about this later. Anyways, you, Shauna, get out. Back to the gate."

"Yes, sir." Shauna shot me a worried look before she left the room.

Once she was gone, Max looked at Eric. "The mission."

"Yes," Eric replied at once. "Simply put, mission successful. We're here to deliver Erudite's newest healing serums."

I frowned, thinking that it was strange that Max addressed only Eric. To be fair, Eric had scored the highest out of all of us during the Initiation Trials, but still…

"Let me see the vials," Max said, holding out his hand.

Everyone fished out their vials, except for me. I couldn't help except to shoot Eric a quick glare when he pulled out both of our vials from inside his chest pocket. But Eric's eyes were entirely trained on Max.

Max examined the vials. Behind him, Marc and Tori glanced at each other uneasily.

"Fine," Max said shortly. "If you aren't injured, then expect to go out on another mission in two days."

I glanced over at Eric once more, expecting him to bring up his gunshot wound. But he remained resolutely quiet.

"Dismissed," Max told us. "Good work." Everyone began to move out, but Max suddenly said, "Except you, Marc. I want a word with you."

I anxiously looked back at my brother. Marc subtly nodded at me, telling me to go on. Still, I didn't move from my spot until Eric came back into the room, grabbed my arm, and hauled me out of the room.

"Lauren, seriously," Eric griped, as he yanked me out of the room. "What is your problem? If Max says to go, you go. Why is that so hard to understand?"

"That happens to be my brother," I replied, harshly pulling my arm out of his grasp.

"Faction before blood," Eric said dismissively.

"No."

Eric paused. "What?"

"I said no," I repeated stubbornly. "Faction is important, but so is family."

Eric stared at me.

After a moment, I said uncomfortably, "What?"

I expected Eric to say something about how I was an anomaly, an idiot for not following the most basic principle of our society, but instead, he murmured, "If you truly believe that, you'll get yourself into trouble. Watch yourself." With that, he was gone.

I wanted to wait for my brother to come out of the leadership room, but Eric's words of "watch yourself" rang out in my mind. Knowing that Max would be upset with me and possibly with Marc if I were to wait outside, I waited until that evening to visit Marc in his private room.


"Lauren," my brother greeted me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Marc, are you all right?" I asked him, as I followed him into his room. "Max seemed upset that you sent Shauna after us."

"After you," Marc corrected me. "I was worried about you."

"I was all right," I reassured him. "We were all fine, just late."

"Well, yes, I know that now," Marc said wryly.

"Lauren." Marc brought his chair closer to me and kept his voice low as he said, "I have to remain loyal to Dauntless leadership. You understand that, don't you?"

I frowned. What does he mean by that?

"It would do a lot for my peace of mind if you could just… just keep your head down," Marc said quietly.

"Keep my -?"

"I know it's not in your nature, Lauren. But now is not the time to draw attention to yourself." Marc looked at me with an extremely serious gaze.

"But you did," I argued back. "When you broke protocol, and you sent Shauna after me to make sure I was okay."

"I know, I know," Marc replied quickly. "But don't concern yourself about me. Just - " He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Okay" I said. "Okay, Marc. I got it. I understand."

But I didn't. I didn't understand anything.


As I left my brother's room, I made my way down the hallway where the other leaders' private rooms were. As I passed by one room, I thought I could hear voices through the door. I made to keep going. It's none of my business, I told myself. Keep your head down, Lauren. Just like Marc said.

"… starting to suspect. Have to be careful."

"Fine… take just one other person… mission."

"What about …? seems to trust you."

My feet skidded to a stop. Did I just hear my name? The voices were too muffled to be certain, but I swear I heard my name just now.

"No, I can't…. go alone."

Who's talking in there? I inched closer to the door.

"…dangerous for you to go alone… the factionless are not simply… They know… stop at nothing to kill you."

I carefully pressed my ear to the door. The voices became slightly clearer, though it was still hard to make out any intonation.

"I'm not afraid of them."

"Perhaps not, but you're no use to anyone dead."

Just then, a door opened behind me in the hallway. I leapt away from the door and hurriedly continued walking down the hallway.


The next morning, I was called into the leaders' room again. Max, Tori, Tarren, and Marc were all standing there – as was Eric.

I eyed Max cautiously as I moved into the center of the room, in front of all of the leaders.

"Lauren," Max greeted me. "You will accompany Eric on his mission to Candor."

I nodded once. However, when no one said anything, I couldn't help but ask, "What about the others? Voja, Blaise, and Kiera?"

Max frowned. "That's none of your concern. For this mission, we have deemed it sufficient for you and Eric to take charge. Are you worried that you will be unable to carry out the task?"

I saw Marc's face over Max's shoulder. Marc's expression was carefully blank, but his eyes were taut.

Quietly, I said, "No, sir."

"Good," Max replied. "That's settled, then. You'll set off in two days."

"Yes, sir."

"You're excused."

I turned and left, but as I did I suddenly realized that the conversation I had overheard in the hallway must have been none other than Max and Eric talking.

"Fine, then I'll take just one other person on this mission."

"What about Lauren? She seems to trust you."

"No, I can't take Lauren. I'll go alone."

"It's too dangerous for you to go alone."

In that moment, I confirmed what I had already instinctively known: Eric's not just any mission agent. In name, he's the same rank as me, Voja, Blaise, and Kiera. But when I look at how he takes charge, how he talks to the faction leaders, and how he seems to know more information than anyone else… he's practically a leader. What is going on?


That night, I went and visited Shauna. I accompanied her on her patrol. We passed by other guards frequently, so we couldn't talk openly about anything. However, after her shift ended, Shauna and I made our way back up to that hidden roof. We scurried up the broken elevator shaft and came out together underneath the brilliant night sky.

"Shauna."

"Hm?"

"Do you ever think about Veronica?"

Shauna was silent for a long moment. She sat down on the roof, neatly tucking her legs underneath herself. "I don't know. I mean, I don't really, but I think it's a purposeful kind-of ignoring."

"Yeah," I agreed. In a quieter voice, I remarked, "You know, back when Nadine left us, I thought that Veronica would have known exactly what to say to have her stay."

Shauna nodded. "I thought that, too."

I sat next to Shauna, resting my head on her shoulder. "I guess Veronica was always a little different from the rest of us, though. She always looked out for all of us, and she never liked when we were too reckless. In hindsight, I should have seen all along that she was perfect for Abnegation."

"Maybe so," Shauna acknowledged. "But I think that it's not about how we're born, or what's right for us. I think that it's what we choose."

"You do?"

"Well, I hope so…" Shauna hesitated. "Lauren, I – I actually tested for Amity."

Eyes wide, I lifted my head off of her shoulder and looked at Shauna. "Amity?"

Shauna bit down on her lower lip.

"Then why did you choose Dauntless?" I wondered aloud.

"Because…" Shauna's voice turned quite small as she confessed, "I always wanted to be brave. Like you. Like Blaise. Like Voja. Like Izaac. Like… Veronica."

"Oh, Shauna. You didn't have to prove that to anyone. You were always brave," I told her honestly. "And, I hate to disappoint you, but I tested Abnegation."

"What? Lauren! You tested Abnegation?"

I nodded.

"Wow," Shauna said softly. "I never would have believed that."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It shocked me, too. But now I find myself wondering…"

Shauna suddenly caught on. "Is that why you asked about Veronica?"

"Yes," I admitted. "Because now I find myself wondering what it means to be Dauntless. Dauntless… but for who? For what? Maybe Abnegation has stronger answers – for compassion, for selflessness, and maybe Veronica could see all that way before I could."

Shauna nodded sympathetically. But a moment later, she said wisely, "Lauren, when I was talking about making a choice, I wasn't just talking about choosing a faction. I mean beyond that, too. What does being dauntless mean to you? I think you get to choose that. I think it's up to each of us to answer that question honestly."

I let Shauna's answer sink into my heart and my mind. Finally, I nodded. Shauna gives me strength. She always does. My head found her shoulder again, and we stayed together like that, sitting on the roof, for a while longer before we made our way back down into the Dauntless compound.

Shauna and I hugged each other just before we parted. However, right as I started to take off, Shauna called after me, "Oh, by the way, Lauren…"

"Yeah?"

"Toby's back."


I was sitting in the surveillance room of Dauntless, when a familiar voice rang out behind me. "Technically speaking, you shouldn't be in the surveillance room."

I kicked my foot against the ground, and the chair in which I was sitting, positioned in front of the many surveillance screens on Dauntless grounds, swiveled around to now face the entrance of the surveillance room, which Toby had just opened.

"Toby," I greeted him, standing up. "How've you been?" A smile flashed across my face, but it was not returned.

I tried again, however, saying, "How's surveillance and investigation work?"

"Fine," Toby finally replied. "Fieldwork's not bad. Paperwork's boring as hell." He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

Toby looked even more serious than when we'd been Initiates together. I hesitated, and the smile slowly slid off of my face. "Toby?"

"Sorry, I was just caught up, still thinking about some work things." Toby came closer to me. "Anyways, it's good to see you. Really good to see you," he said, and his voice was low and soft. He reached out for me, and he pulled me into a tight hug.

A bit startled, my hands immediately flew up to his shoulders. "Toby…?"

He quickly let me go, stepping backwards. However, I followed him, reaching out and gently putting my hand on his chest. "Hey, did something happen?"

Toby gazed down at my hand on his chest for a moment, before he slowly shook his head.

"Don't shut me out again," I said sternly. "We're not Initiates anymore. You can tell me what's really going on, and you don't have to be scared of hurting me or distracting me."

But Toby only shook his head at me. However, I noticed that his eyes weren't focused on me; rather, he was still staring at the screen behind me.

I turned around and looked up at the crackling video footage up on the screen. As I watched, I saw a group of factionless appear. The first person to appear was a woman, clearly leading the group. The bandana around her face was down, and her features of tan, olive skin, sharp black eyes, and strong jaw were vaguely familiar.

"That's the leader of the Factionless," Toby said. As he spoke, he fell back into the chair behind him.

"What?"

"She came to demand payment from Dauntless. She said that one of our agents had killed a member of her group."

"Killed…?"

It took me a minute to realize that the last two members of the group were dragging a dead body. My hands flew to my mouth as I recognized the dead body. It's the hunter I killed, I realized. My heart started to pound heavily in my chest.

"Dauntless refused to associate with her," Toby informed me. "As you know, leadership here deem it below their status to entertain Factionless."

"Oh… Right…" My voice was barely audible. I stared up at the video, now frozen on the woman who led the Factionless and behind her, the dead body… My hands clenched into fists, even though my palms had turned clammy and sweaty. I killed that man… I suddenly felt faint.

Upon seeing my face, Toby suddenly said, "You look really unwell, Lauren."

"Sorry, I just… The last mission was a lot." I reached up and put my hand to my face, as if to check my temperature, but I was really hiding my expression from Toby.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Toby asked.

"No, I just need to sit down for a moment."

Toby was already sitting down in the seat, but when he heard me say that I needed to sit down, he quickly got up. Putting his hand on my waist, he guided me into the seat. With his other hand, Toby grasped my wrist, and he gently pulled my hand away from my face. "You know, too, don't you?" he said quietly. "That something's been put into motion."

I slowly nodded.

"That's why I said to you – keep your eyes open," Toby repeated. "You don't know who you can trust." After a pause, he said softly, "Not even me." Then, he withdrew his arm from around me and carefully stood up.

For a moment, all I saw was Toby's wide back, and the beginnings of his tattoo just peeking out from the back of his neck. A terrible sense of unease washed over me as I watched Toby go. Something isn't right about all this, I thought. I stared down at my hands. My right hand was still trembling slightly.

Suddenly, a sharp rap sounded out on the doorway.

"Thought I'd find you here." Eric's cold voice slithered menacingly into the room. "Thanks to you, we're already off schedule and we haven't even begun. I suggest you fetch your pack before Max comes in here and loses his shit."

I began to turn away, when Toby stepped in front of me and caught me by my shoulders. "Wait, Lauren." Toby's intense, dark brown eyes searched my anxious blue ones fervently. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Eric made an impatient clicking sound with his tongue.

I shook my head. "No. I'll catch you later, Toby." I ducked my way out of Toby's grasp and, nearly running past Eric, I made my way out of the surveillance room and went up to my room to fetch my pack.


After I left, Eric looked over at Toby. In a condescending voice, he said, "You're not going after her?"

Gruffly, Toby replied, "She's not that weak. I trust her to tell me what she needs to."

"You finally figured out that you shouldn't underestimate her," Eric said.

"I never have," Toby replied quietly. "I know Lauren thinks that I don't trust her. And while I may not trust her to the extent she wants me to, I still trust her most."

"Whatever, Four." Eric leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest. "She's mine. She won't admit it. But she is."

"She's not anyone's."

"So she keeps saying," Eric replied, sounding almost bored. "But that's just her way of keeping distance, of keeping her control. As long as I respect that, we're fine."

Toby's hands slowly clenched into fists. "Eric," he warned, his voice become deeper, nearly growling in his chest, "if you dare to hurt her - "

"Oh no," Eric said quickly, cutting Toby off. "It's you who has to watch your step. Eric's cold blue eyes glinted as he looked at Toby and said knowingly, "Tobias Eaton."

Toby's eyes flashed up to Eric's face.

"Yeah, I knew this whole time who you were. And I knew about your fear of heights, too." Eric smirked. "People think you're so strong and fearless. But I know the truth. You're fucking pathetic. You're weaker than everyone else. So weak I don't even have to do anything to watch you fall apart. All I have to do is take my sweet time. Because you've been screwed since the day you were born."

With that, Eric left, leaving Toby fuming and shaken in the dark surveillance room. Behind him, the footage of the Factionless woman demanding for payment continued to play out, over and over again.


My second mission started, and as luck would have it, it was just me and Eric this time, on our way to Candor. Once again, it was a secret mission and we were on a strict deadline.

Eric scowled at me. "Pick up the pace."

"I was running slowly out of consideration for you," I explained, irritated. "Your gun wound can't have healed yet."

"I'm fine," he said curtly. "C'mon. Move it."

"I am moving it," I retorted, irritated.

A few minutes passed as we ran together, when I asked Eric, "Why are we headed to Candor?"

"Because Max said so."

"But why did Max say so?" I persisted.

"I don't fucking know. Do I look like Max to you?"

"Cut the shit," I replied, equally annoyed. "I know you know more than you're letting on."

"If I am entrusted with more information, it'sbecause I know when to not ask questions," Eric said cuttingly. He was clearly telling me to shut up.

But I wouldn't, not until he admitted something - anything. "Well, with everything that's been going on, it's impossible not to ask questions," I continued, trying to keep my voice light.

"Lauren." Annoyance bled out of Eric's sharp voice.

"Saying my name isn't going to stop me from finding out what's going on," I said stubbornly.

Eric muttered back, "Neither is asking questions."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I demanded. I knew it was low of me, but I subtly reached out and tried to trip Eric with my foot.

Not only did Eric lithely step over my foot, but he also reached back, grabbed my arm, and yanked me in front of him.

"Ow." I winced from how hard Eric was gripping my arm.

Eric glared at me, bristling as he asked me, "Did you just try to trip me?"

"…No."

Eric squeezed my arm harder.

"Ow… Ow, ow, ow!" My complaints grew louder and louder as Eric continued to tighten his grip on my arm. Finally, I burst out, "Okay, fine, yes! I tried to trip you. Happy now?"

Eric's eyes turned into slits.

Unable to take his icy stare any longer, I looked away as I mumbled, "I'd just like some questions answered. That's all. Like why Jeanine insists that those serums are for Dauntless' benefit, when clearly, we're just test subjects. Or why we have to visit Candor in secret, when we're allowed to have diplomatic relations with any of the other factions publicly…"

Eric let out a curt sigh. Then, he tapped his finger on my forehead as warned me, "You're smart to ask those questions. You'd be even smarter if you didn't."

He let go of me and started jogging again before I could even take in his words. As I chased after him, I found myself wondering what in the hell he meant by that.

I tried to hold my tongue, but only a few minute later, I couldn't help except to ask another question. "When we get to Candor, will they give us new serums, too?"

Eric replied tiredly, "I don't know, Lauren. We'll know when we get there."

I scowled at him, certain he knew more than he was letting on. But I let the matter go, for we were headed towards Candor anyways, and I expected to have my question answered soon.

After that, neither of us spoke much throughout our entire night of travelling. It wasn't until the fourth of fifth hour of traveling that I realized, but Eric and I didn't even need to speak to be on the same page. A simple look or nod or shrug would alert each other to our thoughts. I realized that it was because we both thought alike in the first place. For one, we were both very careful. If anything felt amiss, we would immediately lay low. Of course, we kept moving. We'd crawl forward if we had to because we couldn't afford not to move forward. But neither of us were quick to court danger or to take risks.

I felt rather uneasy about how in-sync we were, but I didn't say anything. I mean, what could I even say about it? It makes me horribly uncomfortable to realize that I think like you? Yeah, that would be such a great conversation-starter.


Finally, the first rays of dawn broke the horizon and Eric and I both stopped running at the exact same time.

However, there was one thing I was determined that we would not share this time, and that was: a tent. I had secretly packed an extra tent. The sense of satisfaction I felt when I pitched up my own tent for our quick break, instead of joining Eric in his, was so petty, but so indescribably fulfilling. Eric just glanced over at me and shook his head. His only comment was, "Keep an eye out for the Factionless" before disappearing into his own tent.

I unrolled my sleeping bag and crawled into it. As I closed my eyes, I found that I was still quite pleased with myself. However, as my mind began to settle into the silence of sleep, Eric's words of "Keep an eye out for the Factionless" merged with the disturbing footage I'd seen in the surveillance room…

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

I'm in a forest, I realized. I must be walking on leaves.

I vaguely glanced down, expecting to see a carpet of leaves, only –

I gasped.

What I had been stepping on were not leaves, but bones.

Because I was in a forest littered with corpses, so many corpses that they made up the forest floor. The terrible, metallic scent of blood, mixed with the disgusting scent of putrefying flesh suddenly filled my nose.

It was so overwhelming that I collapsed onto my hands and knees, but as my hands hit the bodies stacked below me, I saw the dead person's face, and I slowly came to realize that… They were all the same corpse. They were all that man, the hunter in the forest that I shot…

A ringing noise took over in my head. It took me a long, hellish moment to recognize that it was the sound of birds cawing loudly. But not just any birds – crows. Hundreds and hundreds of crows, gathering to feast on hundreds and hundreds of corpses…

I clamped my bloody hands over my ears, shut my eyes, and tried to block out the terrifying sound of all of the crows by screaming.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh - !"

"What the fuck are you shouting about?"

I snapped awake, jolting up from my sleeping bag. I wildly scanned the tent, and my hand instinctively went to the knife secretly strapped to my thigh.

But then, I recognized the figure at the tent doorway. "Eric?"

"You're going to wake up every single Factionless out here with your screaming," Eric hissed at me.

"S-Sorry," I stuttered out, trying to reorient myself. "I didn't realize…"

Eric withdrew from the tent, muttering angrily to himself.

I balled up inside of my sleeping bag and tried to bring down my heartbeat. For several minutes, I lay there, gasping for breath and holding my hands to my heart.

Once my heart rate had slowed down to normal, the embarrassment crept in. I can't believe I cried out like that. Especially when it's so obvious that secrecy is integral to this mission.

I could hear the soft crunch of Eric's boots on the leaves. I knew he was scanning the area to make sure that the coast was clear, but the sound still made me swallow thickly as the choking sensation of my dream continued to cast a dark gloom over my mind.

Thankfully, the rational part of my mind clunked back into action, whispering to me, You should go out there and help to scan the area. You are the one who made the commotion, after all.

I rolled out of bed and pulled on my boots. Grabbing my gun and inserting it securely into its holster, I left my tent.

Sure enough, Eric was perched behind a rock, using his long-range rifle to scan the area. Ducking down, I stealthily ran over to him and joined him behind the rock.

"Do you see any Factionless out there?" I whispered.

Eric shook his head.

"Good," I said, and my tone was apologetic.

Eric scowled as he set down his rifle. "You were so damn loud, Lauren."

"Well, sorry," I replied, "I don't exactly get to control how I talk in my sleep."

"Talk," Eric mocked me.

"Fine," I conceded. "Yelled."

"More like screamed your bloody head off."

I paused. "Was I really that loud?"

"Yes, you were really that loud."

Knowing the coast was clear, Eric stood up, and I stood up with him.

We began to head back to our tents, when Eric questioned, "What did you dream about that made you panic like that?"

"Just… something," I muttered unconvincingly.

"Something? That's what you said to Shauna, too, when you couldn't come up with an excuse as to why we returned late."

"So?"

Eric rolled his eyes at me. "Lauren, if you're going to be evasive, at least lie better."

"I don't like to lie." As soon as the words left my lips, I regretted them, because it made me sound like a five-year-old. I turned my face away from Eric.

But Eric repeated, "Seriously, what was it? What did you dream about?"

"It's none of your business," I replied, starting to get very annoyed with him. I reached out and began to pack up my tent. "C'mon. We need to run today if we're going to make it to Candor on time."

Eric didn't say anything; he pulled down his tent, too. However, as we both hoisted our packs over our shoulders and started off at a light jog, Eric observed, in that ever annoying, clear and cold voice of his, "No wonder you're a faster runner."

"What?"

"You fantasize about running away from things." Eric glanced over at me once.

But by the time I shot him a glare, his eyes had already slipped away and were already focused far out on the horizon we were running towards.

Unfortunately, as with everything else, I knew exactly what Eric was thinking even without him saying it. I knew that, in his mind, he was calling me, "Coward."


When the soft golden light daybreak broke the horizon once more, we pitched our respective tents and went in to get rest. Only, I never rested. Because what Eric said was true. As soon as I stopped running, as soon as I wasn't distracted anymore, the same image kept haunting me. It wouldn't leave me alone, wouldn't let me breathe for even a second.

Finally, I opened my eyes and sat up, no longer even pretending that I could sleep. Instead, I stayed awake because I was afraid that if I fell asleep, I would start shouting again.

As it was, I didn't look all that great when it was time to pack up our tents and start running again.

Eric frowned when he saw me. "You look fucking horrible."

"Why, thank you."

"Are you ill?"

"No. I'm fine," I said shortly.

Eric studied me for a minute longer. Then, he said knowingly, "You're not sleeping."

"I said it's none of your business, Eric," I told him, exasperated. "Now let's just get on with the running. We can't be far from Candor."

The exhaustion caught up with me about eight hours into our running, and I tripped. Eric didn't say anything then. But when I fell a second time, my pack went flying, and my water bottle fell out.

As I, now on my scraped knees and hands, tiredly reached out for it, Eric remarked dryly, "With how much you're slowing me down, I'd say it's become my business. Wouldn't you?"

I angrily shoved his foot off my water bottle and I put it back into my pack without a word. I started to run again, but Eric stepped in front of me.

"Oof." A huff of air left me as I ran straight into his chest. I stumbled back a little.

"It is my problem now," Eric said severely. "So, tell me. What is haunting you so much?"

I obviously still didn't want to answer him, but as I stared back at him, I found it impossible to avoid the intensity of his cold, blue eyes.

For a moment, I found myself thinking, What's haunting me so much? You. I shot that man to save you. I didn't even think twice about pulling the trigger on that man because I knew that your life was on the line. And yet, what are you to me except a stranger, possibly some sort-of traitor?

Finally, I dropped my gaze to the ground below Eric's feet. I murmured, "Just… that man keeps coming back to me."

"What man?"

"You know, that hunter from the forest."

Eric let out a harsh breath. "Still?"

I bristled. "What do you mean 'still?' I took that man's life, and it wasn't that long ago!"

Eric crossed his arms across his chest. "Well, if I had known you were still dealing with that, I wouldn't have brought you along."

"You didn't even want me to come anyways!" I fired back. "Max made you take me!"

Eric stiffened, and I suddenly froze, too, as I had accidentally revealed that I had overheard Eric's private conversation with Max.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Fine. Then what did you hear?"

"Just – Just that bit," I answered, still not looking at Eric.

But Eric wasn't having that. Quicker than in the blink of an eye, he grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eyes. "Swear to me that that's all you heard."

I swallowed. "I swear."

Eric's eyes tightened. A low, but ferocious growl ripped from his throat. "You make it fucking impossible to - " He cut himself off, and he let go of my face. Without another word, he turned away from me and began to jog again, leaving me behind with a deep sense of guilt, and an even deeper sense of certainty that an important secret was being kept from me.


Eric and I continued to travel in complete silence. Our silence was no longer comfortable. Instead, it was cold and distant. I knew Eric was angry about the fact that I had overheard his conversation with Max, but I could hardly sympathize with him when he wouldn't answer any of my questions about what was going on. We were supposed to be equal – both as Dauntless agents and as friends, or rather, strangely-in-line acquaintances, and that was clearly not the case.

But it wasn't just between me and Eric. Seeing Toby in the surveillance room that night, I began to feel that it was a calculated decision on Toby's part to distance himself from Dauntless leadership. Then, speaking to my brother, it became clear to me that even within Dauntless leadership, there was currently an intense tension – what about, I wasn't quite sure. And even back to my training days, I remembered how Tori and Amar had had to fight so hard to keep folks like George and Toby – the divergents – safe.

Shauna's words came back to me: "Lauren, when I was talking about making a choice, I wasn't just talking about choosing a faction. I mean beyond that, too. What does being dauntless mean to you? I think you get to choose that. I think it's up to each of us to answer that question honestly."

Yeah, I thought, we all have to make that decision for ourselves. And it looks like we all have different answers. Dauntless' reputation may be built on the image of a single-minded army, but that's so far off from the truth. I was beginning to realize clearly that which I felt even when I was an Initiate - the divisions in Dauntless ran very, very deep.