Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Danganronpa.


Chapter 2 – School Daze

Makoto sighed as he took a swig of his morning alcohol. He always took a shot or two after his morning exercise routine and now that he knew he wouldn't have to limit himself; it would probably only get worse.

Which was bad, but hey, who cares.

Smiling he brushed his teeth before leaving his room with a skip in his step.

Maybe he'd actually enjoy class today-!

"Ah, Naegi-kun! Good morning!"

Never mind.

Cranking his head slowly around, he was brought face-to-face with the blue-haired idol who had a voice just chipper enough to down his good mood.

"Oh, Maizono-san. Ohayo."

She smiled brightly at him before speaking.

"Are you heading towards the cafeteria for breakfast Naegi-kun? Did you want to go together?"

No.

"Sure, why not."

Damn him and his stupid unwanted positivity.

Her smile was a beacon. Bright and shiny. And draining.

"Great! Let's go!"

Not waiting for an answer, she grabbed his hand and started walking at a pace he was not entirely comfortable keeping up with.

At least not so soon after his workout.

'Give me a break…'


Taking a couple pieces of toast, some fruit and a glass of milk Makoto sat at the farthest table away from where a few of his early-morning classmates were sitting. He counted Taka, Chihiro, Aoi, Sakura, Sayaka, Leon (who was trying to get into the formers' pants) as well as Byakuya and Toko. (Well the last two were sitting elsewhere but that was hardly surprising.)

"Ne, Naegi-kun why don't you come join us?"

Sayaka stood over him with her hands on her hips.

He sighed.

"Maizono-san, I did tell you that I wasn't an outgoing person, didn't I?" Makoto looked up at her. "So, I don't really feel comfortable-"

Her 'light' glare caused a shiver to run down his spine.

Why were girls always so intense?

"Alright, alright geez. No need to give me such a scary look, I'll move."

Picking his tray up he moved over to the spot she gestured towards, squeezed in between the aforementioned singer and their resident computer programmer.

"Ah, he-hey Naegi-kun. How are you doing today? It's nice to finally meet you."

Even he couldn't stop the smile from breaking out on his face after hearing the timid voice from beside him.

"It's nice to meet you too, Fujisaki-kun. I'm doing well today, how are you?"

He internally froze at his instinctual usage of that particular moniker. He looked at the others out of the corner of his eye. Had anyone noticed?

Thankfully no.

"Ah, that's good!" The young techie smiled. "I'm doing well, too. Though, I'm pretty exhausted today. I was up late working on something."

Makoto raised an eyebrow.

Was it what he thought it was?

"Something…?" he prodded.

"Ah…" he put his head down. "Sorry it's confidential. I would share it if I could."

Makoto shrugged, undeterred. He had gotten his answer, after all.

"Don't worry about it. I understand."

Ruffling the short teenager's head, he went back to stuffing his face full of toast; unaware until that moment that he was officially the center of attention.

Gulping down the food quickly he quirked an eyebrow.

"What's up? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Taka coughed into his hand.

"Ah, I think we were just surprised you showed up, Naegi-kun." He looked sheepish. "Let alone join our table and actually take part in a conversation with Fujisaki-san."

Makoto looked surprised at that before he started laughing.

"Sorry if I gave you guys the wrong impression yesterday." He took a sip of milk. "It's not that I'm against talking to you guys or anything. Just, if I'm being honest here, don't expect me to show up to classes often or attend many school events. Neither are requirements for graduation, after all."

"Still!" Taka looked affronted. "You can't just skip school like this! It's not right-!"

"Why not? It doesn't affect our grades, any. Classes aren't mandatory aside from certain days; and I'm confident in my ability to pass the exams."

At first it looked as though no one had a response to give to him.

"Naegi-kun. I would greatly appreciate it if my future knight would attend today's lecture with us."

What.

Turning a stupefied expression towards the gambler his eyebrow began twitching uncontrollably.

"I think I may have misheard you. What'd you-?"

"I said that I have decided you will be under my employ in the future." She smiled. "I think after some training you would become an invaluable asset to me."

He decided to withhold the fact that he knew how to make her favorite Royal Tea.

No need to exacerbate the situation any further.

"Naegi-kun…? What does she mean by that…?"

Sayaka's voice held a dangerous edge to it. Though, while he could detect it, he wasn't entirely sure he knew where it came from.

"Honestly, I have no clue. I lost to her at a game of cards yesterday, and that's about all the contact I've had with her." He shrugged. "Far from grounds enough to imply… whatever the hell she meant just now."

Looking at his other classmate's expressions, he chuckled at the blushes adoring all their faces.

Celeste was never one to mince words.

Weighing his options, he got up from the table, taking his tray with him. Looking down at the smile the gambler was sending his way he figured it would be less painful to just go along with it.

He hoped, anyway.

"Fine. I'll attend this stupid class. But don't expect me to do this often or anything."

Her smile was wider than he'd ever seen.

"Of course, Naegi-kun. I wouldn't expect anything else."

Now why didn't he believe her?


He really needed to stop getting roped into things.

"Naegi-san...?" Kizakura drawled. "Mind introducing yourself to the class?"

He was here to save the world dammit, not get dragged around and actually do work.

He shuddered.

"Fine, fine." Makoto relented as he walked to the front of the room. Facing his classmates, he allowed a moment to absorb everyone's faces. If he was honest with himself that was another reason he ran off so fast the other day; he wasn't quite ready to see everyone again.

Sayaka was enough. He didn't want to see their expressions of betrayal in his mind as they were sent to their deaths. Horror, pain, and blood. So, so much blood…

"Naegi-san! Are you doing alright over there?"

The concerned voice of his (slightly) hungover teacher, drew him from his thoughts. Shit, did he zone out while standing upright again?

It's been a while since he did that.

"Ah, my bad. Sorry sensei. I didn't sleep well last night."

Koichi continued to look worried but accepted the excuse, taking a sip from his flask. Judging by the expressions on Sayaka, Chihiro and even Celeste's faces though, they did not.

"Well, my name is Makoto Naegi," he began. "I'm the Ultimate Lucky student meaning I was chosen by a lottery to attend here." He paused as if to elaborate before stopping. "Even though I don't intend on showing up often I hope we can get along whenever I actually do."

His piece said, he ignored the depressed look from the teacher behind him and sat back down. Feeling relaxed, he sat back in his chair and slowly closed his eyes.

This was nice…

"Naegi-kun!"

Goddammit.

Looking to his left he could see the pouting face of their pop idol. Seriously, why was she so adamant about him paying attention. Taka he could understand, but it almost looked as if the prefect no longer cared about his academics.

So, what gives?

"Maizono-san, why can I not just relax and sleep?"

She looked conflicted.

"Naegi-kun, I just want you to have a good future." Her eyes widened considerably. "But I feel like I'm just annoying you. Do you… not like me or something…?"

Makoto choked on some air and felt himself getting light headed. Where the hell did she get that idea from!? Thanking Chihiro for patting him on the back he turned back to the idol.

"Obviously I do. Don't just say things like that out of nowhere alright?" Leaning back in his chair he closed his eyes. "Plus, I'm not at all worried about doing poorly in our courses. Just trust me alright?"

Ignoring her still-pouting face for the moment he began thinking to himself.

'Do I still want to be friends with her?'

That train of thought ended quickly. Of course, he did. Whether or not he still held any attraction to her aside, he couldn't blame her for her actions in a possible future. If that was the case then he shouldn't talk to half of the people in this class, Celeste especially.

But that ship had sailed almost immediately.

"Alright Naegi-kun… thank you."

Makoto looked over at her still sullen expression and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. Staring at him confusedly, he gave a reassuring smile in response.

"Don't worry so much alright? You're a good person and I'm sure that I'll end up viewing you a good friend." He said softly. "Just try not to force me into doing too much school-work and I'm sure we'll become close."

Sayaka's blush grew astronomically as she went back to her work. A smile plastered firmly on her face she muttered a quiet 'thank you' and continued taking notes.

Makoto smile grew. A job well done if he said so himself.

"Naegi-kun, you player."

His smile dropped.

"Don't make me come over there Fujisaki."

"Ahhhh I was just joking don't hurt me please!"

A relaxed expression overtook his face as he fell back to sleep.

"That's what I thought…"


"Naegi-kun come on. Please wake up!"

"Naegi-kun wake up."

"WAKE UP NAEGI!"

"SHIT!"

Makoto jumped in the air from the sudden shout. Landing back down in his chair he faced the idol with an annoyed expression, complete with a twitching eyebrow and all.

"Is this going to become a regular thing? Because I didn't sign up for this."

Sayaka smiled innocently.

"Whatever do you mean Naegi-kun…?"

Taking note of the fact that only he, Sayaka, Chihiro and Celeste were still in the room he narrowed his eyes at them before sighing and falling back in his chair.

Putting a random textbook he found over his eyes he attempted to doze off once more.

So close…

"No. You're not falling asleep again. I won't let you."

Damn.

"You're never gonna let me relax, are you."

The question was rhetorical, of course. He knew the answer already, and he figured some payback was necessary.

"Of course, Naegi-kun. But I-"

"Value class time and learning above nearly anything. I know."

He smiled brightly at her dumbfounded expression.

"Naegi-kun, how did you know what I was gonna say?"

He cocked his head to the side.

"What, didn't I tell you?" He paused for dramatic effect. "I'm psychic."

Internally he smirked as the stunned faces of his three classmates entered his vision. Though, of course, the joke wasn't finished yet.

"I'm kidding. I just have pretty good intuition." Patting Sayaka on the head he began heading out the room. "You guys coming? I'd say it's lunch time by now and I'm starving."

Chihiro shook off his surprise quickly and bounded out after him.

"Naegi-kunnnnnn! Wait for me!"

Celeste and Sayaka were left standing there, stupefied.

"Well he certainly is full of surprises isn't he, Maizono-san?"

The idol spoke quietly, as if in a trance.

"How did he know that…? It was my joke…"

"Hm?" Celeste raised an eyebrow. "Did you say something?"

That snapped her out of it. "Ah, it was nothing. Sorry about that." She smiled at the black-haired girl. "Shall we go?"

Picking up her stuff she headed towards the door; Celeste in-tow.

'What the hell was that about?'

The gambler's question would go unanswered.


"Stupid over-active classmates and their stupid never-ending energy."

Makoto's constant not-so-subtle ranting caused the students around him to give way as he walked with widened strides.

"I can't believe I was hit by such a lucky shot." He rubbed his arm with a pout. "I really need to step up my training if I can still be caught off guard so easily."

He knew that against the majority of the people in this world he was far faster and stronger. Hell, he still was even a match for most of his fellow Ultimate's. However, the fighting-based ones such as Ikusaba or Oogami?

"Fat chance." He muttered.

Where did this sudden spiral of annoyance come from? Well what do you get when you combine a Sayaka who was attempting to feed him alongside a blatantly jealous Leon?

"A goddamn baseball to the arm, that's what."

True the baseball pro said that it was just an accident, but Makoto didn't buy it.

"Maizono-san may be just as pretty as always but at this point, I wouldn't give a rats' ass if he took her off my hands."

Makoto wouldn't deny that a ping of jealousy may be there initially if that were to actually happen, but in the long run it would be for the best.

After all, if this keeps up, he may never get to fall asleep in class!

"Hey, pig barf! The hell are you looking at?"

"I'm sorrrryyyyyy!"

Makoto frowned at the insult being thrown out. It was true that he may be a bit (lot) more cynical than he used to be but even still he would never stoop so low as to bully. He hated them. Picking on the weak was something he always found disgusting.

Turning the corner, he was brought face to face with a beautiful purple-haired girl being stepped on by some, admittedly cute, but scary-looking blonde-haired chibi.

'The hell? Is that-?'

Of course.

He could have smacked himself in the face. He completely forgot that Junko's remnants were made up of their upperclassmen. So, these two would eventually help end the world.

As he watched the Ultimate on the ground squirm he couldn't help but sweat-drop.

'Seriously, even her?'

Considering the scene for a few more seconds he decided he couldn't let it continue.

So, he stepped forward.

"Alright, that's enough. I don't know what's going on here but I do know she doesn't like it. So, get off her."

The blonde-haired girl jumped as if burned. Wheeling around she was brought face to face with a very handsome-looking guy that had the most unimpressed expression she had ever seen.

She gulped.

"Wh-who the hell are you? I'm Hiyoko Saionji, the Ultimate Traditional Dancer. Show some respect!"

Makoto narrowed his eyes at the girl. He could tell she was hiding some major form of insecurity behind her fake bravado. That being said; acting out in this manner was still inexcusable, regardless of circumstance.

"My name is Makoto Naegi, Ultimate Lucky student of class 78." He said as he walked right past the affronted looking girl and held out his hand to the one still on the ground. "And who might you be, miss…?"

His smile was disarming, Mikan decided. It made her feel vulnerable, emotional and safe. It happened so quickly she was momentarily stunned.

"A-ano, my na-name is Mikan. Mikan Ts-Tsumiki." She stuttered out. "The Ultimate Nu-Nurse."

Makoto's eyebrow raised at the girl's timid introduction before shaking his head, smile back on his face.

"It's nice to meet you Tsumiki-chan! The Ultimate Nurse, huh? That's a pretty incredible talent. I'm impressed."

"You… you're impressed…?" Mikan's voice lacked any form of stutter but there was no doubt in his mind that she was stumped he would think this way.

"Of course." He grinned. "Your talent is a hell of a lot more impressive than mine, that's for sure. Let alone half of the people I know at this school. You can save lives and I can tell by your expression, you love what you do. Am I right?"

Saionji who was frowning at the side from being ignored, looked intrigued by the way the conversation was headed.

Mikan just poked her fingers together.

"You really think so…? Most people find it weird and don't like me so I-"

She got cut off as a hand found its way on the top of her head. Blinking she looked up and was met with the softest smile she had ever seen on a person before.

"Tsumiki-chan, you don't have to worry about that alright? Just find people that accept you for being you and I promise that you'll be happier than you ever thought possible."

Mikan's mouth felt dry. The words combined with the tender head-petting was enough to almost make her cry.

Who was this person…?

"But I tried… I don't think they exist-"

"Of course, they do silly." Makoto interrupted her, bending down to look into her eyes. "We're friends, now right? And I already said that I think your talent is great, not weird. So, chin up, alright?"

That did it.

"WAHHHHHHHHH!"

Mikan latched onto his torso and began crying harder than she had in forever. It was more than the usual waterworks she got when she was bullied. It was as if she compounded all of it together into one moment and let it loose.

It was cathartic.

Makoto smiled fondly down at the girl and held her close. He could tell quite easily how Junko would have sunk her fangs into the innocent bundle currently in his arms and he had no intention of letting that happen.

"Ne, Saionji-san?"

Hiyoko blinked at finally being addressed. While she didn't appreciate the situation at hand she couldn't deny that she felt a little bad when she saw just how close the nurse was to breaking.

Only a little though, she told herself.

"What is it, weirdo."

Makoto kept gently rubbing the nurse's back as he looked over his shoulder. In that one instance the blonde-haired girl saw so many negative emotions that it almost swallowed her whole.

What the hell-

"You and me. Set aside a time for us to talk. Whether you want to or not, I am going to sort you out so this type of shit doesn't happen again." His eyes narrowed marginally. "Capiche?"

Hiyoko could only nod.

Makoto smiled brightly.

"Glad to hear it."


Makoto sighed as he closed his dorm-door behind him.

Today was… nice.

"My classmates may be loud, but they're still enjoyable to be around." He grinned. "Fuijisaki-kun is especially fun to tease. I guess I always felt too bad to do it in the past but not anymore."

Popping open his flask he began downing its contents quickly. Giving a content smile, he wiped his chin and laid down, staring at the ceiling.

"Since I arrived on a Sunday for orientation and our guests of honour arrive Wednesday, that means I only have one day left to think of an opening plan…"

His thoughts trailed off as he gave the situation more thought. What exactly should he do? The two of them were virtually unapproachable, or he assumed as such. Mukuro was a trained soldier and Junko would more than likely be cautious to the point of paranoia.

Aside from getting closer to his upperclassmen what else could he do? Getting to talk to either of the despair sisters one on one would be fruitless, right-?

"THAT'S IT!"

His eyes widened as he realized a common thread throughout all of it.

"Enoshima can't do anything without her sister. Likewise, her sister, from her own words, apparently ceases to function without being ordered."

They need each other.

"But," Makoto muttered. "How can I use this to my benefit?"

Should he try and separate them? While he didn't know how they acted at school he imagined that Junko would not let her sister out of her sight often in fear of betrayal.

Ironic, considering what she does to her.

This thought process eventually lead to a pretty obvious conclusion.

"Mukuro Ikusaba. She is the weak link in all of this, but also its most integral piece." Makoto deduced. "Junko Enoshima may be brilliant. But physically she simply does not compete with someone like the 'Ultimate Soldier'."

While her skills were another unknown to Makoto, he could infer that if her physical capabilities were even close to her sister's intellectual ones, she would truly be monstrous.

"That's it then. I have to get to Ikusaba-san before her sister does."

It was a tall order, of course, and there was no guarantee that Junko hadn't already completely brainwashed her by this point.

It was his best shot though.

Plan in mind, Makoto brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. Looking over at his clock he saw he still had some time left before his usual bedtime.

He snorted.

He did enough thinking for the day; he was turning in early.


Side Note: Damn you guys are hitting up those favorites and follows like crazy ;o. Low review numbers, (which I'd definitely continue writing if it were higher), but still :D I'm impressed by the response this joke fanfic is getting. Glad it's not horrible x).

A/N (About the Ultimate Assistant): With the posting of this chapter, the next Arc of the Ultimate Assistant is almost done :D. The first chapter will be posted coinciding with this one. (Though at a shorter chapter length due to me writing a lot more of that story than this one x). This story will be updated randomly in between updates of that story (but not as consistently. I just happened to find this one easy to write because it lacks any real point. It's just for fun so it's easy to write down xD. Hopefully you guys are enjoying it anyway!)

Reviewer Responses:

1995hzq: Thank you! Here's an early update for ya :p.

Doomqwer: Yes I agree Naegiri is one of my least favorite pairings, BUT I adore their friendship. It's cute and well done on that front:P. Yes Junko will be coming soon x). (Probably the chapter after the next, haven't written them yet, just have plans for how they will go lol).

Guest 1: I have!

Guest 2: Yes that was the plan XD Makoto is made to be smarter in this story but he is even more socially stunted than canon. (Which is quite bad) so he wouldn't pick up on that. Also, as I stated in the previous chapter, Makoto is actually quite short compared to his classmates xD. If you look at how he looks now in canon where he is about 20 he still looks 18. Not as old as you may think. Just more buff in this story!

Guest 3: Perhaps. It'll have harem moments, but for pairings I'm unsure:p.

Doremishine Itsuko: You'll get your wish at some point fam X)

Survivor Naegi: Your summary was a very funny read so I thank you for that xD. Also it gave me some great ideas. Some of which I planned and others I hadn't considered. So thank you for that!

Be sure to review if you want to get a response, or answers to your questions! :D