A/N… Okay, so while I was finishing up Heaven & Earth, this little fic won Favorite Out of this World fic in the TwiFic Fandom awards for 2021. So…thank you for that! :)
We left this off last with Bella's change into immortality, learning to hunt, and all around getting used to shit. I'll let you get back to them.
~oOo~
Chapter 18 - There's No Turning Back
EDWARD
"And it's gone again," I said with a laugh and a shake of my head as my mate's thoughts evaporated suddenly.
"Ugh," Bella groaned, falling back onto the sofa. "Sorry."
I laughed again, kneeling in front of her while Carlisle chuckled at the two of us. She'd been changed all of a week, and she was still that amazingly calm girl I'd met when I first set foot in Forks. She wanted so badly to control her shield, to let me hear her mind all the time, but mostly, she wanted to be able to stand in front of Charlie and Nessa to let them know she was okay. We'd learned her shield kept the scent of human blood at bay for her, so she was pushing herself to learn this new part of her.
"No need to be sorry, Bella," I soothed her. "You're way ahead of the newborn curve. Please trust me on that."
She grinned at the praise because she seemed to live for it, especially from me. When she sat up straight, she raked her fingers through my hair. We were all in awe of her. While the rest of us had opened our red eyes to frenzy and anger and bloodlust, Bella was calm and collected and aware.
The only difference we could come up with was that Bella had known her change was coming. She'd known what she'd become and what was expected.
We'd moved some of her things into the third-floor bedroom along with mine because she couldn't exactly go back to Forks just yet. Charlie and Nessa had packed them up for her, and they'd been delivered by Jake and the pack. Bella's father and sister had more patience than Bella herself. They knew it would take time, and they happily took solace that we hadn't lost her altogether.
However, the community of Forks just missed her. She'd taken care of the trade store and her friends and her family. She was a team player and a protector. She was loyal and smart, and even though Jake didn't like that we'd had to change her, he knew it had to happen. He knew Nessa would've not only fallen apart, but that she came damn close to shooting someone over her sister the day that Cyrus had attacked.
"You're doing fine, Bella," Carlisle praised her. "It's only been a week."
"I know, I know," she grumbled, but her lips quirked up into a smile. "Rome wasn't built in a day. Blah, blah, blah."
Grinning, I kissed her. "I'd be willing to bet Rome was reduced to rubble in a day, though."
"Edward…"
Her laugh was like music and all things pure and good. It changed the feel of everything around her. Upstairs, Jasper's thoughts were centered around what a perfect match Bella was for not only me, but the family in its entirety. A part of him wished she'd always been there, but then he realized he'd missed five years of family, five years of getting to know the people of Forks, five years where Alice had been fighting two battles. It was the latter that bothered him the most, though Alice wasn't holding any grudges; she was simply happy to be back in the family fold.
My eyes drifted up to the staircase. My brother was back on the right diet, and while he struggled daily with some guilt and regret, he never wanted to feel the resentment from Alice again. That alone had kicked him into gear.
Two hands grasped my face, and I smirked at Bella as she tried again to push that shield up.
Is Jasper okay? she asked silently.
I smiled because of all the minds I'd ever heard, hers was a comfortable and easy place to be, my most favorite mind to hear. "There it is," I said through a chuckle. "And yes, ma'am, but I think everyone should hunt today."
I said that last thing loud enough for the couple upstairs to hear. Alice was still getting her diet back on track from slipping a few weeks after I'd arrived, and since we were already working with Bella, it only seemed the perfect opportunity to work with Jasper and Alice at the same time.
Carlisle nodded. "I don't think you'll need me for that. I'll head back. Esme, Rose, and Emmett are starting to collect materials for the greenhouse. Keep a lookout for anything useful – windows, glass, wood."
"Okay, sure," Bella answered him, nodding.
I stood up, offering her my hand as Carlisle left. "C'mon, love. We'll see what we can find for you."
"Em says I need a bear, but I have to wait until spring."
"Of course he did," Jasper said with a chuckle, descending the stairs with Alice.
"Emmett has been punishing all bears since his beginning," Alice added. "Every last one of them."
Bella grinned, glancing my way.
"Emmett likes to play with his food," I stated, which made everyone laugh.
"No kidding," Jasper agreed, squeezing my shoulder. Which way today, brother? he asked silently.
"The northern part of the preserve, I think," I answered him, but he wasn't the only one wanting to know.
Alice paused, her visions shuffling through a handful of different scenarios, options, and outcomes. "Not too close to Port Angeles though."
"Right, right. Don't set the newborn loose on people," Bella teased, grinning up at me.
"Actually, I think that's for me," Jasper grumbled and then grimaced as a touch of embarrassment eked out of him and into the room.
Bella paused, tilting her head in a way that wasn't exactly human any longer. I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I could read that gorgeous face. She'd never want someone to feel uncomfortable. She also knew his struggle matched her own, and she didn't really care that he'd made his mistakes, apologized, and started anew. That was just the kind way she worked – they were learning together. She'd told me more than one time that it made learning not so intimidating when she wasn't the only one.
"Yeah? Well, according to Carlisle, I have to learn this shield business. Maybe it's your turn with me," she said softly, shrugging a shoulder.
I fought my smile, and for the most part won, until I locked gazes with my sister. Alice was practically screaming, I told you! It was loud and sung like a little kid. One of her oldest visions was that Bella's shield would help Jasper. Despite how some things had changed to get us to this point, it seemed that specific vision was staying true. Although, I wondered if it was because Bella was simply that kind or if the shield was a factor.
Jasper's brow furrowed, and his demeanor changed from grumpy to intrigued. His history with newborns could be an asset with Bella, and just like that, his temper faded while the big brother came to the surface.
"I can't promise a bear, Bella, but maybe we can find something that doesn't eat grass," he told her in his usual slow drawl.
I broke out into a grin. "C'mon, Miss Swan. Hunting class is in session," I told her, kissing her forehead.
"Right, right. Teaching new vampires old tricks. Got it, Mr. Cullen," she retorted with a sweet smile.
Alice and Jasper chuckled at us as we left out the back kitchen door toward the Olympic National Park. I didn't need to hunt, but everyone else did. I could hear Jasper guide Bella and Alice veer off to hunt alone but very little else. The woods were quiet. We were closer to the 101 than Port Angeles, so I stayed within range so I could keep a part of my mind open for any trouble. Alice found a herd of deer, and Jasper had somehow pointed Bella in the direction of some coyote.
My girl was about to discover the difference between herbivores and carnivores. I'd love to see her thoughts on that, since carnivores were better. One day, I'd teach her how to hunt the mountain lions I loved so much.
Something about that thought caused a rumbling in my chest. I was a grateful man – not vampire, not demon. Man. I'd spent a hundred and twenty-two years alone, and I'd grown used to it. I'd watched Carlisle find Esme, Rose find Emmett, and Alice and Jasper showed up already mated. I'd told Bella once that alone was just who I'd always been. Until the world ended.
And then I'd stumbled upon a tiny town that not only held my family, but the mate I thought I'd never have. I'd envied my family, and now I had it all. My entire family had survived the meteors, I'd survived on my own for five years looking for them, and now I had the other half of my heart and soul. I wanted to show her everything. I wanted to love her, protect her, teach her, but I wanted to learn from her, too. I wanted to bask in that calm kindness that simply radiated out of her.
I was still listing all the things I could show my Bella when I stepped from the tree line. I caught her scent before I saw her. My girl was glaring at the highway – the still, eerily quiet highway. There were huge divots in the road, weeds growing up along the median, and what looked like scorched vehicles everywhere.
"Oh, shit," I breathed, finally seeing what my sweet girl had her sights on.
Half of the Forks High school bus glared yellow and angry in the dying light of day. My heart hurt at the sight of it. I'd seen it in Carlisle's memories and in brief glimpses in the vision that Alice had seen. But I wasn't sure what was going through my Bella's mind at the moment.
Rushing to her, I set my hands on her shoulders. "Bella? Love?"
"I'm…I'm okay," she sputtered ever so softly.
I knew the bus was empty of her classmates and mother. They were all buried in the Forks cemetery behind the church. It had been done after fires had burned out and a young, heartbroken Bella had been treated. As for the rest of that highway, I wasn't so sure. Not a lot of the dead had been buried after the sky fell, and that was just about countrywide. Most were ashes and had eventually blown away in the wind, but the rest were taken care of by nature and time and weather.
I'm certain that it was Esme who demanded that Renee Swan have an honorable resting place.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I realized Bella was showing me her side. Her emotions were making her shield waver, so it came to me in flashes – nervous adults, curious kids, a flat tire, and so much traffic. I smiled at the brief glimpse of Carlisle shadowing that bus on the highway. Young Angela and Ben sat with Bella in the back of the bus, and really it was those seats that had saved their lives. When the fiery rock slammed into the ground, the bus swerved, lost control, and rolled to where it rested now.
Bella shifted in front of me, taking my hand in a shaky grip. She pulled me until we were at the back of the bus. The back emergency door was literally ripped off its hinges, the metal torn like thin paper, and for a moment, I couldn't see where the actual door was, until I glanced behind us. Carlisle had thrown that bastard almost thirty yards away.
More flashes of memories came from her mind, along with fear and pain. A bus full of life and futures and only a handful survived. Through Bella's memory, I could smell burned flesh and fire, feel the devastating loss when Carlisle came back to her empty handed after carrying her to his car, and see that enormous meteor Bella had mentioned. She was right… It was the size of a car, with radiating heat and hellfire.
"I don't know who to thank for that day," she whispered, and I turned to face her.
"Me, either. Alice won't let me thank her. Carlisle has no regrets for his actions that day, except your mother."
She shook her head. "There wasn't… I know now she was gone before he even ripped this door off and set me down right there."
Nodding, I pulled her to me, pressing heavy kisses to her forehead. "Talk to me, sweetheart."
"I feel more now," she sighed, wrapping her arms around me and nuzzling into my neck. "I'm okay, but I feel everything so acutely."
"Mmm, despite our cold, hard exterior, our interior can be rather…squishy," I said in a tease.
Her giggle was everything I wanted to hear from her. "Oh my God, you saying squishy might be my new favorite thing," she said through another laugh, which made me grin.
"You want to go home?" I asked her, really happy that she wasn't upset, just contemplative.
"No, I think I need to hunt a little more." She touched her throat with the tips of her fingers, and I couldn't resist turning my head to press kisses where her pulse once pounded.
"I'm glad I actually got to see this bus," I said, dropping my head to her shoulder. "It gives me perspective and even more appreciation for just…every-damn-thing."
"One day, I want to see Chicago with you," she stated with no hesitation.
I pulled my face from the crook of her neck, something in my chest constricting. "Yeah… Yes, I'd really like that, my beautiful girl." Cupping her face, I kissed her softly. "Are you okay?"
She took a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah, I just… It shocked me to see it."
"I'm sure."
When we came from behind the bus, Alice and Jasper were there. I'd heard them approach, but they'd been giving Bella some space for this. Jasper could feel her whirlwind of emotions from almost half a mile away. Alice saw visions of Bella wanting to thank her, but she didn't want thanks. She had simply wanted her family back together, and that came wrapped up in keeping the girl at my side safe. She didn't want a thank-you, because there was a part of my sister that felt selfish about it all. She wanted me to find my mate, but she wanted her family unit strong.
"Alice, it's okay to accept our gratitude," I told her, reaching to ruffle her hair, which she dodged gracefully.
Alice merely shook her head, her eyes glancing up to Jasper. However, Bella pulled her in for a hug anyway.
~oOo~
BELLA
We made our way away from the highway and back into the woods, where a few miles in I found a small herd of elk. My head was clearer from when we were at home.
Home. I smiled a little at the term, my eyes seeking out Edward. He was my home now, and it was shocking as to how fast it had been.
At first sight, he became the most important thing. He'd been this myth, stories told by his family, and then suddenly he stumbled into my life. Nothing else mattered after that. I'd felt his pull on me from the second I shook his hand.
From there, it just snowballed into something enormous and scary, but perfect and easy. And while I still felt overwhelmed by everything new I was dealing with, I loved that he was there to teach me. He made me laugh and held me together just when I thought I'd shake apart.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, smiling when Alice's scent was the closest. Turning to my left, I saw her sitting on a rock beneath a tall pine patiently waiting for me. In her hands, she was making a snowball.
Her eyes were a little blank, so I knew she was sorting through visions. A small smile quirked up on her face, but she didn't say anything, and her eyes opened when we heard Jasper and Edward draw closer.
They stepped into the small clearing, and suddenly that snowball left Alice's hand and exploded on Edward's chest in the blink of an eye.
"Seriously?" he asked with the most adorable and incredulous laugh.
I tried not to laugh, but it was impossible. It bubbled up and out of me before I could reel it back in. I heard the boys run and scoop up snow at the same time. Before I could move, the sound of another thrown snowball met my ears. I started duck, but I didn't have to; the ball of ice never touched me. It exploded all around me, even splattered onto Alice, but it didn't reach my skin or clothes.
"Whoa," I murmured, glancing from Alice to the guys. I met Edward's gaze, and he was radiating shock and pride and wonder. "Well, that was different."
His grin was that thousand watts of beauty I loved so much as he said, "Yes, ma'am. It was."
It was Alice's turn to giggle. "I wanted to test that shield, but it had to go a certain way."
"It seemed to have worked, darlin'," Jasper said with a grin, but he turned to Edward. "Can you hear her mind now?"
"No, not at all," Edward answered softly. Tentatively, he reached up to touch me, and his hand met my face. "It doesn't seem to still be up, though."
I shook my head. "No, it was… I don't want to say instinct, but it seemed to be something that happened on its own?" I finished that sentence like a question, because I had people in front of me with way more experience than me with this immortal/vampire gift thing.
Jasper studied me for a moment. "Your mind, your brain's processes work differently now. You can focus on a great many things at one time. Your shield, like Ed's mind reading or Alice's visions, will be a part of you like breathing. It just…is. It's a fine defensive talent, Miss Bella."
"Oh, okay." I nodded a little, sorting through the last few minutes to try to see where that whole maneuver started. I pushed it out and then pulled it back in but shook my head. "It feels strange to force it."
Edward smiled, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "You're doing fine, love. Truly. It takes time. When I woke up from my change, I could hear every mind for miles. It was noisy and confusing. It made me think I was going crazy. I'd answer Carlisle's internal questions before I could focus on what words were actually coming out of his mouth."
"Ugh, I can't even. I've said this before. I would never want that talent."
He laughed. "And I told you I didn't exactly ask for it."
"Yes, I know," I said through a grin, chuckling when Jasper and Alice laughed at us. "I guess it's like learning anything. I just have to…try."
"Yeah, Bella. Exactly," Jasper agreed, but we all looked to Edward when a low, deep growl vibrated out of him.
His eyes were black, his lips pulled back in a sneer.
"Edward?" I whispered, stepping closer to him. The feel of him was pure steel and rigid strength. He was also pushing out some scary vibes, until the howl we heard caused us to all growl a little.
"Umm…wendigo?" I asked, trying like hell to remember the one that had shown up not long after Edward.
"Yes, it's…hunting," he whispered, squeezing his eyes closed. "Hunting a child. No, children. A little girl and an older boy. She's… Ah, shit, they're running." He gripped his hair in what looked like a painful grasp. "I need to… I can—"
"Brother, let us help you," Jasper offered. "You're the expert here, Judas." He flashed a crooked grin. "Tell us."
What was fascinating was seeing Judas emerge up close. I saw the hunter of monsters in front of me, and funnily enough, I loved him just the same as I did the man who helped me clean a storeroom all day with cobwebs in his hair. I could see this had become something that Edward needed to do. He could hear the minds, both the predator and the prey, and he had the strength and knowledge to do something about it.
"I just… You…" He trailed off, wincing a little.
"Edward, it's fine. Everyone here has just hunted," Alice soothed him. "See?"
Whatever she showed him seemed to comfort him enough to lead us closer to Port Angeles. The whole time we ran, he explained what to do.
"Only silver to the heart can immobilize them enough so that you can burn them, but I'll warn you…"
"Oh my God, and they stink!" I groaned, and it already was starting to meet my nose.
"Yeah, that. And wicked strong."
Jasper laughed a little until we closed in on a scene that would've given me chills as a human. The little girl was completely terrified of the monster looming over her and a young boy who looked like he could be her brother. She was maybe four, and he was early teens, and he was holding her with everything he had. They had a small fire going, but if my hazy memory was true, then that fire needed to be bigger.
The wendigo was enormous, the stench of death and decay rolling off of it in waves, along with an icy aura rivaling the snow around us.
"Alice, Bella…build up that fire and keep them away," Edward ordered, reaching down to his leg to pull out the silver knife he always carried with him.
The sound of Edward tackling that creature was loud, like what I remembered football players sounding like on TV – teeth rattling, bone crushing, and pure power. He hit the thing hard enough to create a decent amount of space between those kids and the followed his lead, helping him wrestle with the disgusting creature.
The heavy heartbeats of the kids met my ears, and even though they were pumping sweet blood through their veins, my shield seemed to dull it all. The thought of hurting a child was just…no.
Alice breezed by me, an armful of wood in her hands. "Here, Bells, see if you can build it up. Finding dry wood in all this snow…" She trailed off because she was already back into the woods.
I set more sticks onto the fire, waiting until they caught hold before adding more. I repeated that process, keeping an eye on the kids and an ear out for my mate, who was still struggling with the wendigo.
Alice appeared with another pile of sticks and helped me add them to the growing fire. Her gasp made me look her way, but she was looking behind me.
Somehow the wendigo had escaped the hold the guys had had on it and was rushing our way. The kids started to run toward the trees, and the monster immediately turned their way.
"No, no, no!" I groaned, rushing between the wendigo and those kids, and just like with the snowball, my shield slipped around all of us, bouncing the smelly beast back several feet.
Edward reacted instantly, jumping onto its back, and with a swing of his arm, that knife came down straight into its heart as Jasper wrapped up its legs. A wretched howl erupted out of the wendigo, and it collapsed back, causing Edward to scramble out of the way. Jasper landed with a grunt in a snowdrift.
"Don't wait!" Edward grunted, grabbing the beast's arms. "It won't stay dead. Trust me."
"Wh-What was that?" the young boy asked as Edward and Jasper slowly set the body onto the fire.
"Wendigo," I told him. "You guys okay?"
He nodded, hugging closer the now quiet little girl, who was now watching all of us with fascination. He reminded me of Seth, with dark hair, dark eyes, and kind smile. In fact, if I'd had to guess, I'd say both were indigenous to Washington, like the Quileute.
Once the fire started to engulf the wendigo, I stepped away from the kids toward Jasper.
When he looked to me, I grimaced and whispered, "Too close. I can still…hear."
He nodded but smirked. "But with you there, I can't smell them."
"Yeah?" I huffed a laugh. "But I can smell you." I waved a hand in front of my nose.
Edward barked a laugh, glancing between us. He gazed up at the kids. "You have family nearby?"
"Yeah, cousins. Our parents aren't…" The boy trailed off, but we all knew what he was saying.
"You should try to stay inside at night, especially with her," Edward advised, gesturing to the pretty little thing who was wriggling to get down. "You never know what's out here anymore, okay?"
"Yeah, got it. You're… I know what you are," he muttered. "Cold Ones. Did you kill that thing just to—"
"No, we won't hurt you. We don't feed on humans. Are you Quileute?" he asked, stoking the fire to make sure it completely encompassed the wendigo.
"No, our father was Hoh, which kinda came from the Quileute. There aren't many of us left. I'm Adam Rivers, and this is my sister Lily."
"Just so you know, the Quileute's land is safe," I told them.
"La Push?"
"Yeah. Tell them Bella sent you," I told them.
Edward stood up from the fire. "She's right. They can keep you safe, along with the people of Forks."
"Thanks, I'll let them know," he said with a wave our way.
He scooped up little Lily, who was absolutely enthralled with Alice, who pulled a small pair of pink knitted mittens out of her pocket and handed them to Lily.
"What do you say, shorty?" Adam teased his sister.
"Fank you!"
Edward's chuckle was deep and sweet, but his eyes were full of mischief when he turned to Alice.
"Shut up, Edward," Alice said, waving him away.
"Uhhh…"
"Oh, Bella, just watch this shit. You really haven't seen these two really get going," Jasper drawled as we followed behind our mates.
"You know what she thought you were, right?" Edward kept on, much to Alice's annoyance.
"Yes! Shut up!"
"Wait for it…" Jasper whispered.
"A fairy."
I snorted into a laugh. I just loved this family. It had started with Carlisle and Esme and then Rose and Emmett. I got to know Alice a little, but there was so much history here. And it was real family, true friendships that spanned decades. It was sibling jibes and old inside jokes. And since I'd met them, I'd loved it all. I loved the stories and the old photos. I loved the teasing and the laughter. I loved hearing about things I'd only read in history books.
Alice snapped, grabbing up another snowball, which caused Edward to dart away.
"Wow," I said with a sigh. "That's just…"
"Yeah," Jasper agreed with a nod. "It's worse with Emmett."
Grinning over at him, I nodded. "I bet. He used to tell me stories about driving you and Edward crazy."
"Ugh, he did it on purpose! The lust between him and Rose, which leads to disturbing thoughts," he said, gesturing toward Edward, who ran by us with Alice on his tail. "All of it would just build up until Ed and I just wanted to pummel him. Carlisle would tell us not to rip him apart, and Esme and Rose would just laugh."
Giggling, I glanced over at him. "They missed you. They missed Edward, too, but they worried for you and Alice. I'm glad you're back."
Jasper was quiet for a few minutes, and Alice and Edward had gone silent.
He stopped us, his face serious. "I want to thank you, Bella." When I looked at him curiously, he smiled sadly. "My brother, Edward… Before all of this," he said, waving a hand around. "He was the picture of stability and control and a good man. He helped me like this before, trying to keep the right diet. He taught us and guided us, even when I acted like an ass. He was too serious sometimes, and he was sad sometimes, but he never really let us in. We were all mated, and suddenly he'd just disappear for hours or days. He was alone for so long."
"Yeah, he told me," I whispered, swallowing past a lump as we started walking again. "I feel like I knew that Edward, but I didn't. I'd only ever heard stories. The Edward I met came into Forks with his hair on fire, and he saved my sister's life. He was instantly a hero to me, and he's only proven that over and over. The first time he walked me home just to make sure I was safe, he was self-loathing and a little unsure. The only thing he ever asked of me was patience." I grinned at Jasper's chuckle. "But I didn't need it. Everything about us came as easy as breathing."
Jasper smiled and nodded. "You make him whole again. Something I'm not sure I've ever felt from him as long as I've known him."
"Yeah, that feeling is mutual," I added, inhaling deeply. "And as much as I feel like smothering him in kisses right now, I can smell him a mile away."
Edward's gorgeous laughter rang out of the dark woods.
Jasper grinned my way until Alice's voice echoed around us. "Jazz, you're no rose garden, honey."
"Okay, okay," I said with a laugh. "We'll follow Esme's rules from the last wendigo. Straight to the showers, don't even touch the doorknobs."
With that, all four of us ran our way back to the Cullen home. I felt like I'd taken some really big steps with my shield, not to mention getting used to just being different. My hope was to see my dad and sister soon.
~oOo~
A/N… Just FYI, there's a bit more to this story to come. I'm not sure how long it will end up being, but a handful of chapters for sure. Okay?
The next chapter for this is already about a third written – give or take. So I'll see you guys soon. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)
