Phil made home fries, scrambled eggs and oven ready biscuits. He also set out some fresh cut fruit and had a couple bluebery muffins leftover. Daisy ate a lot, but Melinda picked at the food. Melinda managed to eat a couple pieces of fruit and a small amount of eggs with one biscuit. She was sipping her second cup of tea when Phil spoke up.

"I'm going to call off today. Stay here. But I can drive you to school Daisy."

"Don't you dare Phillip. I'm fine." Melinda glared at him.

"Well we all know that's not true. The residual effects of a PTSD attack could stick around for a while. You shouldn't be alone."

"I won't be. The workers are coming to finish the fence."

"Melinda."

"Phillip."

Daisy looked uncomfortably at both. Then she spoke. "He's right. You shouldn't be alone. I can stay home. Me missiing one day isn't that big a deal. But I know you're really busy Phil, with prepping for mid terms and you have basketball practice. I can do my work here at home. I don't have any tests today."

"I don't need a babysitter. Both of you just go to school. I'll be fine."

"If it was me – you'd stay home Melinda. Plus I'd feel better. We'd feel better. Or you could call your mom or dad to come stay with you."

"No. I'd – I'd rather not have my parents here. I don't want to be fussed over."

"Okay. I won't be doing any fussing. We could watch another love story movie after I get my work done." Daisy smirked at her.

Phil added, "One of us is staying home Melinda, or I'm going to call you mom."

"Okay. Daisy can stay home. Just this once. If it will make you happy. And if it will stop Phil from giving me a disapproving look.

Phil nodded. "It would be a dificult time to get a sub. But I would feel much better knowing you were not alone. Daisy, you sure you cna miss your classes?"

"Yuppers. I can do all my computer work for both classes here at home. Health is easy. English is good. Melinda can help me with Spanish class. You can help with history tonight."

"Algebra and science?"

"Well those are the nasty classes I suck at. So I'll be spending most of my time here at home on those. I'll be fine. I can always catch up this weekend if I need to. Oh yeah, I'm probably going to need a tutor for algebra and science. I kind of really suck at both. Maybe you could check into that soon. Ms. Chapman is allowing me to work behind in algebra but Mr. Parrish is kind of being a dick about being behind in science."

"You shouldn't say that about yoru teachers Daisy" She rolled he reyes at him. He continued. "I'll make sure to discuss it with you guidance counselor today. I need to get ready." He left to go downstairs.

"You could talk to Jemma tonight. About the episode you had." Daisy spoke up as she put her dishes in the sink and rinsed them.

"It's family counseing. Not supposed to be all about me."

Daisy shook her head. "Of course it's about you. And me and Phil. All of us. Gosh you're stubborn."

Melinda was making a cup of tea at the counter. "Look Daisy. I'm fine. I know from past experiences like this that I'm fine. The after effects are never that bad. I'm a little sore from all the muscle flexing and tensing, and I am still a little tired from the mental exhaustion, but I know my limits. I don't need someone to hover, and I don't need to be pushed about what I have to do, or told what is best for me to do. Got it?"

"Yeah. Loud and clear. You have no intention of talking about it more to me, do you?"

"I don't know. I- I – this is not easy for me. I don't want you to see me this weak. This broken. I don't want you to know what I'm capable of."

"Oh well. Not your call. You're my mom and you can't just hide the bad and pretend it away. That's not how it works. I will never ever let you do that, just like you wouldn't let me. I promised I'd tell you the incident that sparked my last PTSD episode. You indicated you'd tell me your story. So you don't get to make empty promises. You – you said - it's not who you are. You said you'd be honest with me. I'm not gonna let it go. Not ever. You can get mad or whatever. You can lock it all up inside and pretend it away on the outside, but as you've told me – it stays there with you all locked up with you. You see what you did as horrible, and that's okay. It's valid. But you don't get to tell me how to see it. You don't get to explain how talking will help me, while you shut me and everyone else out. You mean way too much to me, for me to just let you do that."

"Daisy."

"Nuhuh. I'm not finished. When I'm with you, I feel safe from the things that hurt me inside.

I couldn't heal before because I kept on pretending that I wasn't hurt. That it didn't matter. But it does matter. And I am healing now. Those things that need healing – the inside things that are cracked, well they hurt like hell. But me, all of me - I'm not broken, and neither are. Sure, I have pieces that are still cracked in there. But you took this – this messed up kid, and you loved me beyond reason. Unconditionally. Without expecting anything from me. No one has ever done that before. You are the very best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know how all this happened, what fates stepped into my life to get me here right now, but they did – and I can finally see myself as the Skye you lost. And I want all of you, just like you want all of me. I don't want only the parts you think are worthy or acceptable. I want to know you and that includes the cracked pieces, the pain and the fear – the darkness. Cause all that makes you who you are. Just like it makes me who I am – and if you can love me anyway, what makes you think that I wouldn't love you? Or that Phil wouldn't still love you?" Daisy was spent. Her rant over, she stood there glaring at Melinda with tears rolling down her face.

Phil had quietly been standing by the door, listening. He moved into the room. "What she said. Yeah, I second that Melinda. Daisy is not going to quit on you. Me either. I'm not going to quit this time. I'm not going to walk away. I refuse to let you push me away. I won't let you drown in your own wake. So suck it up, and stop being so goddamn stubborn." He moved next to Daisy and slung his arm over her shoulder, and she stepped into his hug.

Melinda stood still leaning over the counter. Her daughter had just basically reemed her out and her ex husband had agreed with her and added his own chastizement. People had tried before to do the same and none had ever gotten this far. But this was Daisy and she couldn't walk away from Daisy. Her kid had just hit so many targets in her gut that she didn't even have an argument. She stood with her head bowed over her cold tea and struggled to find her voice. That Phil had piled onto Daisy's rebuke making perfect sense too only made the lump in her throat larger. She was a moment away from becoming undone. She heard a shuffle, and someone moved to stand next tot her. The tears were coming faster. Daisy's hand reached to hers and grasped it tightly.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me." Daisy's voice was barely a whisper.

Melinda shook her head. She tried in vain to wipe her face and stop the cascading tears. She finally was able to get out a few words. "Not mad at you."

Daisy laid her head on Melinda's shoulder and Melinda stroked her hair, trying to regain her composure.

The sound of a doorbell jarred everyone. Phil moved to the kitchen door. "I'll get it."

Melinda knew it was the construction crew here to finish the fence. What puzzled her was why Phil was still at home a little before eight o'clock. Had that much time really passed.

He came back in and said the crew was here and the foreman just wanted to let them know. Then he sat down at the table. "I'm staying home after all. They were able to find me a sub. Daisy I already called you out as absent."

Daisy nodded still holding onto Melinda. Melinda snaked her arms around Daisy and hugged her, putting her chin on Daisy's shoulder. They stayed that way for a few more minutes, until Melinda took a deep breathe and pulled away, grabbing a few paper towels to wipe her face.

She reached over to turn the water faucet on, getting another paper towel wet and wiping her face better. Phil just stood watching her as Daisy once again spoke.

"Maybe a nap, yeah? You still look exhausted. I wouldn't mind sleeping a little more. Phil's here if the fence guys need to talk to someone."

Melinda nodded. She allowed Daisy to lead her back to her bedroom. She sat on her bed for few moments and then she laid down on her side. Daisy closed the door behind her, flipped off the light switch on the wall, and crawled in next to her and pulled the blankets up over them. Daisy wrapped her arm around Melinda's middle and pushed into Melinda's space. Melinda smiled as the girl wiggled closer. She took hold of Daisy's hand and threaded thir fingers and then closed her eyes. The presense and touch of Daisy seemed to keep the dark nightmares away. She only hoped they would stay at bay so she could get rid of the exhaustion and achiness she felt pressing down on her body.

Melinda slept till noon. Daisy had woken at around ten and had slowly and successfully wiggled out of bed without waking Melinda. She'd quickly retrieved her computer and school backpack from her room and had quietly sat down on Melinda's desk chair working on her schoolwork and keeping an eye on Melinda. She heard the workers outside every once in a while, but Melinda didn't stir. Her stomach grumbled a couple times and she thought about grabbing a snack from the kitchen. She finished reading the paragraph in her science book and then turned to check on Melinda and was surprised to see that Melinda's eyes were open staring at her.

"Oh hey. You're awake."

Melinda nodded and sat up against the headboard. "Yeah." She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and groaned. "I slept for another four hours."

"Yeah. How do you feel?"

Melinda sighed. "Vulnerable."

"I know how that feels. I'm sorry I pushed you."

"It's what you needed to do."

"Still doesn't make it right. You should do this on your own terms. In your own time. I just – I wanted..."

"Then I would never do it. I can confront all kinds of things Daisy, with no fear. But myself – my inner demons – talking about those - that scares the hell out of me."

Daisy closed her book and got up, moving to the bed, sitting down on the edge. "I'm always scared. At least I used to be. I figured that if people really knew me they wouldn't like me. I kind of deveploped a bravado that I was tough and didn't care how people saw me. That I didn't care if they saw me as a thief, or liar, or hustler. That I didn't care if the families I lived with didn't want me. That I didn't care when the social workers would write bad things about me in their reports. I put on this whole aura of not caring about anything that sometimes I started believing I wasn't worth caring about. Does that make sense?"

"It does. If you could pretend enough that you didn't care then when everyone around you proved they didn't care, it didn't hurt so much. You could push the fear of abandonment back down cause you didn't really want it anyway. You didn't want them to care because when they abandoned you it didn't hurt as bad. But it's hard to train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. No matter how much you pretend it to be so."

"You won't lose me. You don't have to fear that Melinda. This is the best my life's ever been. Even messed up, I know that. Even with all this baggage, I can see that you and Phil are the real deal."

"Come here." She patted the spot next to her. Daisy eagerly slid over to the spot and sat next to Melinda who put an arm around Daisy's shoulder. She pulled her close for a hug. "I have some real issues Dais. I know you do too. Pretty sure Phil's got some of his own."

Daisy nodded.

"Maybe it is time to get them all out there. Lay all the cards on the table."

"Show your whole hand."

Melinda grinned. "Throw caution to the wind."

"Let the cat out of the bag." Daisy giggled.

"Spill the beans."

"Stop sweeping things under the rug and come clean."

Melinda chuckled. "That's two. You're on a roll."

"Mom?"

Melinda's face grew brighter. "Yeah?"

"I love you." Daisy snuggled into Melinda's side.

"I love you too." Melinda kissed the top of Daisy's head. "Are you hungry?"

"Duh. I'm always hungry."

"Let's go see if Phil will make us lunch."

"Are you really as bad as he says at cooking? Or is it just a running joke?"

"I can make tea. And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just fine."

"So that's a yes then?"

Melinda nodded. "I seem to have missed the cooking gene."

"That's okay. I was beginning to think you were perfect. That'd be some kind of hard living up to, yeah?"

"You're pretty perfect to me Daisy."

"You know, I hope you remember that when I come home at three in the morning when I'm out on a date with Robbie."

"Three. Oh honey. I'd be searching for you by ten-ten. I have a lot of resources. FBI, remember?" She got up and looked down at Daisy. "Your aunt and uncle are cops too." She walked out the door.

Daisy sat thinking for a minute. Then ran after her. "Wait. Did you say ten? I have a ten o'clock curfew?"

Phil did make lunch, and they enjoyed it with some light conversation. The fence was nearly complete, Phil said the foreman told him they'd be done by around two o'clock. Melinda was doing the dishes, and cleaning the kitchen while Phil helped Daisy with her history lessons.

Melinda finished up cleaning and then walked out of the kitchen, She stood leaning against the doorframe watching Phil and Daisy. Phil glanced over at her. She gave him a smile.

"I'm going to go for a run. I'll take Leia with me." At the sound of her name the dog's ears perked up. She got up from under the table by Daisy and walked over to Melinda who bent down to pet her. "What do you say girl, you want to go for another run?" The tail wagged.

"Wait, another?" Daisy looked at her curiously.

"Yesterday. Well the first part was mostly her walking and smelling everything. But on the way back she did pretty good running next to me."

Daisy winked at Phil. "She likes the dog Phil."

"I'm just training her to be a good pet. Doesn't mean anything."

"Sure Mel. Whatever you say." Phil laughed. "Daisy said she's going to need help with her Spanish lessons later."

"Okay. I should be back in about an hour."

Daisy had finished most of her schoolwork for the day and had played outside within the now finished fence with Leia for a good while. Phil had fixed a light meal of chicken vegatable soup, using leftovers and grilled cheese sandwiches. Currently it was almost seven o'clock and they were in Phil's car driving to the family counseling session. Melinda had remained fairly quiet since retrurning from her run, and neither Daisy nor Phil had pressed her to talk.

They arrived and Phil parked and the three made their way to Jemma's office. Jemma watched as they filed in, sensing some tension, mostly from Melinda. She greated them and they sat down all separated, Daisy choosing the large comfy lounge chair, Phil sat on the edge of the small sofa and Melinda pulled a straight back chair from the wall over closer but still not quite within the group.

"So how's you new addition to the family?"

Daisy grinned. "Leia's good. Yup. Melinda got a fence built out back so we can let her out safely, and she took her for two runs already. She has a nice bed in my room, and Phil let me get all kinds of toys and stuff for her."

"That's good."

"Oh and I almost forgot. Here." She got up and handed Jemma some money. "It's what I still owe you. From when I was a delinquint." Daisy gave her huge grin.

"Oh Daisy, thank you. But how..."

"Poker winnings. I beat the whole family."

Melinda was trying not to laugh at Jemma's expression, but was failing.

"You played poker for money."

"Yeah just quarters."

"That's a lot of quarters."

"Yeah sometimes it was rolls of quarters that I won. Phil cashed them in for me. Says he likes to keep the quarter rolls on hand. Oh and I might get a job. At the Animal Shelter. Where we got Leia. Just like on weekends. Hopefully." She sat back down.

"So poker?"

"It was just the family." Phil spoke up.

Jemma nodded.

Melinda added. "Seems that Daisy is quite the card shark."

"Yeah I even beat Melinda. I won almost a hundred bucks from everyone.." She looked at Jemma's face. "Oh I told them I'd give it back. They said I didn't have to. Said I won it and it was mine."

Jemma nodded and decided to let it go. "Well. A lot of new things have been happening to all of you. Melinda, you went back to work. How is that going for you?"

"Good. I had off since Thanksgiving last week, and this week I am working about twenty hours from home."

"Yes and Daisy, along with getting your new dog, you started a martial arts class. How was that?"

"Good. I already knew a lot of what they went over, cause Melinda taught me."

"And Phil, last time we were here, you mentioned that basketball season would soon be underweigh."

"Yes. We have the teams picked, and full practices started, and games start next week."

"So that and your teaching are going well then?"

"Yes. Very well."

"Good. Oh and everyone's okay with Daisy's new day and time for individual counseling, starting next Monday?"

"Yes. That actually works well with Daisy's Taekwondo practices," Melinda answered.

"Well you look to be very busy Daisy. What with weekly counseling, Taekwondo and a possible new job."

"Yeah well Melinda and Phil said I could only work Saturdays and every other Sunday. And only four hours each day. Taekwondo is only an hour and it's pretty close to home. Plus there's a ton of days off from school coming up. It's like almost two weeks."

"Well it wouldn't be good to put too much on your plate too soon."

"Oh yeah I know. But I'm almost all caught up with my classes, just algebra and science are a pain in my – um – a bit tougher. But I'm working hard at school and for the most part I'm doing pretty good."

"And I'm working on getting her a tutor for a few weeks for those subjects. To help her catch up and understand them better."

"Good. And the new house. Everything working out? With your living arangements I mean?"

"Oh sure. I'm downstairs to sleep. Mel and Daisy are upstairs."

"Sounds like things are adjusting well at the house for all of you. Do any of you want to talk about anything in particular tonight?"

No one spoke up and all eyes avoided Jemma's.

Jemma continued speaking. "Okay then. So tonight, I thought we'd do a little introspection about each of you. We'll start with this simple question. What is your greatest weakness and why do you think it is a weakness? After you answer, we'll get input from the other two and I'll share my thoughts as well. Who'd like to go first?"

No one made eye contact with her or with each other. It was a few awkward moments and Jemma thought she'd have to head in another direction when Melinda spoke softly.

"My greatest weakness is myself." Melinda stared at the wall beyond Jemma's head.

No one said anything, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, Jemma prodded with a question. "That is a pretty broad statement. Perhaps you could explain more what you mean?"

"She means some parts of herself scare her and she can't or won't face them and she thinks that makes her weak." Daisy interjected as she pulled her legs up onto the chair and wrapped her legs around them.

Jemma spoke to Daisy. "I think we should let Melinda answer, let her tell us what she means, before we tell what we think she means."

Melinda slowly looked over at Daisy with a thoughtful expression, obviously contemplating her words. Then she spoke again. "She's not wrong. When I say myself, I mean things deep within I prefer to keep to myself. I was never good at talking about myself. I mostly let my actions speak for me. I could always talk with others about the other person, but I rarely volunteered things about myself. I – um – I had to talk to several psychiatrists over my lifetime. You don't get near the Academy without a passing psych eval. And another of course before being commissioned. The FBI is the same. Being in the field I was in, the FBI required mandated yearly evaluations. Of course, the Air Force also required me to see a therapist after you were taken Daisy."

Melinda paused and no one added anything, they just waited for her to make her point.

"Anyway, I learned a few things about myself during those sessions, even if I did them all somewhat resentfully. I always thought the questions were intrusive and unneeded, at least for evaluation. In fact, I became very well versed at giving the correct and expected answers."

Daisy gave her a grin and nodded, and then rested her chin on her upraised knees.

"Although I may have kept a lot of the answers to myself, I still did get some."

"Do you want to share those answers with us today?"

"Do I want to? No. Will I? I think I need to try. The two people I trust most deserve that I at least try. I might have promised one of them that I would." She looked poignantly at Daisy and gave her a small smile. "I think that weakness is why I won't, no it's why I couldn't, ever talk to anyone about an incident that happened to me. That fear of revealing things about myself have always been my biggest weakness. The fear of losing control. Which of course then at times manifests itself into me really losing contorl with a PTSD incident. Like the one I had recently."

Jemma raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

Melinda paused and took a drink of water. "All my life I've felt I had to fight to be better. Growing up in a mostly white neighborhood, all I wanted to do was fit in. And that was hard to do, because of the expectations of who I was supposed to be. Expectations from the kids in the neighborhood and school, from society, from my parents and from myself. The stereotypes of who an Asian was supposed to be were strong back then when I was growing up. Get good grades, stay out of trouble, be serious about your schoolwork, and everything else you did. Set high goals, be an over achiever."

Melinda paused again, gathering her thoughts. Daisy was watching her carefully, hanging onto every word. She took a chance to interrupt. "Is that why you started skating?"

"Partially. It was a way to be physical which I loved and was something young Chinese girls were welcome in. And the Olympics had just been held in Lake Placid in 1980. I was four at the time, and my dad and I watched it on TV. The skating and of course Ice Hockey. At first, I wanted to play hockey," she paused as Daisy laughed, "but my dad convinced me that figure skating was just as tough. So he signed me up for lessons. After about half a year, apparently, I had very good balance and athletisim for a kid my age, and I caught the eye of a developmental coach for the USA junior team."

"And Melinda that's all wonderful and I'm sure Daisy loves hearing about your childhood, but perhaps you could get back to the question?"

"To sum up I guess, I got comfortable hiding pieces of who I was. Especially as I got older and more so once I was at the Academy. I was small, a woman, Chinese – and I wanted to fly planes. And be in special ops. So a lot of the time I had to tamper down the more open pieces of myself, the emotion, the empathy, the fun me. I learned to put on a stoic face and present myself as restrained and composed and disciplined. Some people interpreted that as being cold. Icey cold and uncaring. In the end, it helped tremendously with my job, able to compartmentalize and act under pressure."

She took a sip of water and then continued."There were a few people through the years who saw more than that calculating icy persona."

Daisy giggled. Melinda looked at her curiously.

Daisy shrugged. "You keep saying icy and cold and you were a skater. Sorry."

Melinda grinned back at her. "You for one, were one of those people. It's scary how fast you managed to scale my walls"

Jemma interrupted. "Why do you think that is Melinda?"

"She's my kid. I had to help her. Had to show her she could trust me."

"So you were willing to open yourself up to Daisy to help her. Maybe it's time to do the same to help yourself?"

Daisy's grin grew very large. "Toldja."

Melinda side-eyed Daisy who just smirked back at her.

Daisy looked at Phil and then spoke, "Phil told me how you used to do pranks, and how much fun you two had, and how happy you were and that picture you just painted is like the complete opposite."

"I could. I did. Around people I fully trusted. Phil. Maria. Other friends and co-workers. After I was secure with my position in the Air Force, after I met Phil, after I had you. I didn't have anything to stuff down there to control anymore. I didn't have to pretend so much to be in control to prove something. Back then I was truly more myself than ever."

"She was always pretty quiet. Shy to a point even. But also, Mel was always fun loving, and easy going. Teasing. Flirty even. We talked about everything. Shared everything." Phil finally spoke.

"Until they took me. Then all three of us got messed up." Daisy's voice held a tone of sadness.

Phil nodded. "Yeah. Of course it is far more complicated than that, but yeah. That one sentence, that one truth – that you were gone, Daisy, that completely altered each of us."

"And there's no going back. No do overs. No replays. There's just moving forward." Melinda sighed. "I guess it's time I actually do what I tell others, " she looked at Daisy and smiled, "to do. So here goes. It was an undercover op. O'Brian was undercover as a buyer, Akela and I were his customers. We were trying to bring down a human trafficking ring. O'Brian had spent a month establishing himself as a known some undercover computer manipulation, he had played the role of a buyer in Canada, wanting to expand to the States. I was established as a Chinese player in the business, wanting to add new blood to meet our customers changing needs. Akela was the money backer. It's heartbreaking to get inside and see what is happening but to take down the higher dirtbags in charge, you have to play the game inside for a while. And honestly you don't need to hear all the details of the case. But that night we were there to make a buy. Of course after we bought the kids we would place them in a safe place and continue with the case with the goal always to lock up as many in charge as possible and shut down the whole operation, and disrupt the trafficking chains. We were near the end of the deal when things went sideways. A snitch made us. He played both ends and he had worked with Akela and me before. Diego. We didn't see him before that night, as he had only had contact with O'Brian. He was recently hired to be muscle for this new group, and once he spotted us he knew it was all a set up. So he made us, called us out and that's when all hell broke loose."

Melinda paused and took a few deep breaths. "To try to stop the whole thing from blowing up, O'Brian called for a retreat, meaning for Akela, me and the rookie cop with him to back out of the volatile situation, and avoid a bloodbath. The rookie undercover panicked. He got out his gun and started shooting. I didn't have a gun, Akela's was tucked in her calf. The firepower they came back with was of the duck and run kind. Unfortunately there were few places to duck behind. It happened in seconds. Backup came exploding in once the firing started. Moments later, O'Brian, his rookie partner, Akela and many of our backup were down. I radioed for help and could here little pockets of sceaming and gunfire in the rest of the building. We knew the girls were downstairs in the basement area, being held there. We were supposed to get them that night."

She paused and closed her eyes. Daisy got up and moved over to her and sat on the arm of the couch next to her and reached for one of Melinda's hands. "You don't have to keep going if you can't. No one wants you to have another attack. If it's too much, just stop."

Melinda nodded and then shook her head. "No. I need to finish. If I don't, I may never be able to again." She opened her eyes and stared down at her lap. "I knew some of the others would want to get to them and save their investment. I ended up being able to get there quickly, Since I was near the door when it started, and I brought the second unit who had arrived on scene with me to cover the exits, and check all the rooms. I got a gun from one of them. I knew my team was down, but I couldn't help them at that point and I was still on mission. Ambulances and EMT's had already been called to the scene. I'd been in the house before so I knew where I was going. I arrived to the room and moved inside, where Diego and a woman named Marta already had taken the girls as hostages. Marta was the person in charge. There was an older girl, they used older girls to groom the younger ones and keep them in line."

Melinda took a couple sips of water. Her voice got softer. " Katya was Marta's daughter. Marta had turned her own kid into – into – it was awful. Katya also had a gun pointed at some of the youngest girls. I learned all the details later. Marta was demanding that I clear a path for them to get through. That's when I started pleading with Diego and the girl. I figured Marta wouldn't surrender but if I could get the other two to surrender, I knew I could take out Marta. No one listened. Marta listed off her demands. She wanted to send the girls out first and then follow with two girls surrounding each of them. She threatened to kill a girl every two minutes if I didn't make it happen." Melinda tightened her grip on Daisy's hand. "Katya looked over at Marta and smiled at her, saying, 'why wait mother. You know everyone here is going to die'. And she held the gun to one of the younger girl's heads and pulled the trigger." Melinda started sobbing.

Daisy knelt on the floor and wrapped her arms around Melinda. "I'm so sorry. Hey it's over now. Okay? You're with me and Phil and it's safe. I love you."

Melinda stroked Daisy's hair, closing her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "I play it over and over in my mind. How I didn't see it coming, why I didn't see how unhinged Katya was before. What I could have done differently." Daisy pulled away from her but kept holding her hands.

Phil shook his head. "Mel. I know how fast those things happen. You know you can never figure on what a suspect will do."

"That's why I should have made a different call. When Diego recognized us I should have taken him out. Got out of there and just..."

"And what. Barracade outside? Try to negotiate. You know they would have killed them all. How many survived Mel. Focus on how many you saved."

"The girl was only thirteen. The one Katya shot. Katya was only sixteen when I ended her life. I shot her and her mother. Then I took down Diego." Melinda sighed. O'Brian died at the hospital the next day. Akela lost an eye and needed rehab for motor skills for months. O'Brian's partner died at scene along with two other backup agents. We lost four agents, another was maimed for life, and we lost two civilians. Two kids."

"Mel. Hey." Phil knelt next to her touched her shoulder. "You couldn't have known how this was going to go down. You can never know. You know that. You knew it when you were in the Air Force and it's the same with the FBI. Trafficking is a brutal and horrific world."

"We were going to get Katya out of there. That was the plan. I have to live with that failure every day."

Jemma finally spoke. "Why do you feel you failed? Did you do something incorrectly? Did you not follow procedure, or go off book?"

"No. Nothing like that. But I had been doing it for a long time. We had done the same sting many times. We were always so careful. No one went in undercover until all the players were closely vetted. But somehow Diego got by all that scrutiny."

Melinda cleared her throat and sat back. "I know it was just something – it was a fluke – it wasn't..," she sighed and tears rolled down her cheeks again, "I shot her. I had to stop her. The girl she shot – I – I see her face – in my dreams I see both their faces – I see the blood..." She wiped at her eyes and took in few deep breaths.

Jemma spoke, "Do you think that getting this out in the open will help you Melinda?"

"Isn't that your job to let me know? Besides it 's still there. Talking about it doesn't make it change. But now that I'm having – that – that is – it's just that the people I live with should know what happened, I guess."

"I think that facing our deepest fears and what we think of as weaknesses is the best thing to do. But I also know that just revealing them is only a start. A beginning, if you will. Walking away tonight and never mentioning it again, or refusing to deal with the fallout will only put you right back to where you were."

"So what do you suggest?"

"In depth therapy. Just you. It doesn't have to be with me. We can find another psychiatrist who specializes in such issues."

Melinda was quiet for a while. Daisy was back on sitting on the arm of the couch but still holding Melinda's hand.

"I'm – I would be fine with sessions with you. But I am not certain I can ever accept what I did without feeling guilty."

"You saved lives Melinda." Phil spoke as well.

"It doesn't offset those that were taken."

"It never does."

"You said you had a recent PTSD incident?" Jemma asked.

"Yeah. A bad one. I was right back there, that day, every detail, every moment."

"And nightmares?"

Daisy answered for her. "Oh yeah. She has nightmares. And she can't sleep a lot of times." Daisy looked at her concerned.

"She's right. The nightmares happen more often then not. The sleeplessness too. Alcohol used to be very handy for both."

"Used to be?"

"I haven't – I have tried to stay away from using it that way. When Daisy first came back to us, I was so busy, so happy, I was completely focused on her and helping her, that my demons stayed away."

"But now?"

"But now with all the sharing, and talking, and everyone opening up, I can't seem to shove them back into the abyss anymore. And I feel out of control and I am never out of control. That's how people get hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I'm sorry." Daisy was near tears.

"Hey. Dais. No, no, no." Melinda got up and moved to Daisy. She pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly.

Daisy was sobbing now into Melinda's shoulder and her body was shaking. Phil also got up and moved to them. He put his hand on Daisy's back. He put his other hand on Melinda's shoulder.

Melinda spoke softly."It's not your fault baby. It's not on you. Shhhhh... It's alright. It'll get better. We have each other now. I have you and you have me. We have Phil. We're all a bit messy. It's okay to be messy. We'll get through all this together. We have each other baby."

Daisy raised her head looking at Melinda. "I'm so scared of losing this. Of losing you. I can't. I just can't. Having this, all this is so not normal for me. I've never had this kind of normal. It's for other people, not me. Not for me. I'm afraid I'll never be normal. Is that a weakness? Cause I think it's my weakness. I'm afraid that this, what I have, a mom, a dad, a house, a dog, friends, an aunt and uncle, grandparents – that all of it will be gone and one morning I'll wake up and no one will be here."

She looked away from Melinda and stared at the floor. "Cause I don't think I could do that. Like keep going. I think that would kill me. And that makes me afraid of doing something wrong. Cause people before they would send me back if I wasn't – if I did something stupid. The places when I was little right after my – after they- Jiaying and Cal died. I was mostly too old for most people. Some of them, I just wanted them to like me, you know. St. Agnes Group Home wasn't very nice. It sucks when no one cares if you live or die. So I don't think I could – I wouldn't be able – I really, really like having a family. Having people who care if I live or die."

Melinda pulled Daisy back to her hugging her fiercely.

Daisy clung to her. "I know you'd never hurt me. You'd never hurt anyone if they gave you a choice. But you had no choice. She made that choice. Sometimes things just are. You protected other people. I'm so sorry it had to be you that was there, that you saw that, couldn't stop it and had to shoot the other girl and her mother. I'm so sorry that she made it be you – but mama, you did what you had to do." Daisy closed her eyes and rested her head on Melinda's chest. "And I'm not sorry that you survived. Cause they could have killed you. So I'm not sorry that you're here for me."

It was some time later, when everyone was once again sitting and much calmer. It was nearly eight- thirty. The session was only supposed to be an hour but had run over. Luckly Jemma had no more appointments that night.

Jemma spoke, "You both are equating fear with weakness. And weakness with your traumas. When actually getting through that trauma and going on to face another day is strength not weakness. I understand why you feel they are weaknesses. But I'd like for you both to consider how they are strengths. We can talk about it next week. As well as anything else you want to talk about."

"Next week? We are only doing every other week counseling together." Phil said to her surprised.

"Were. I think perhaps weekly would be a good idea. Just for a few weeks. And Melinda, you should set something up by yourself or if you want I can give a list of other psychistrists."

"An apppointment with you is fine," Melinda answered.

"Good. So next week Daisy has an appointment on Monday evening. Our family session can be at," She was looking in her appointment book, "six o'clock on Thursday. Will that work for everyone?"

"Not me." Phil answered. I have a basketball game at five."

"We could change the night to Friday." Melinda offered.

"I have taekwondo practice at five o'clock. ." Daisy interjected.

"Phil what abut seven on Friday?" Melinda asked.

"Yeah that works for next week."

Melinda looked at Daisy saying, " we can go after your class."

"Okay."

Melinda added. "I can make it any day after work for my appointment . I work until three – thirty but I could go in earlier and come in say, three in the afternoon?"

"That's good. How about we set you up at three o'clock on Wednesdays?"

"Okay. For how long?"

"That will depend on you. Let's just wait and see how it goes."