They drove back home in relative silence. Phil pulled his car into the garage. Daisy went straight to the dog to let her out, and Melinda went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
"I'm going to wait for Daisy to get back in and say goodnight then head downstairs. I have some student homework to check over, and a few classes to prep for."
"Phil."
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay? You were pretty quiet tonight."
"Just taking everything in I guess."
"None of this can be easy for you, either. All these revelations. The emotional ramifications. Are you really okay?" She sat down at the counter stirring her tea.
"I think you are one of the bravest people I know. You've stepped up and put Daisy and making this family work. In spite of your fears, your baggage and your trepidation of us finding out something you felt you needed to hide from everyone."
"If it's any consolation, I'm having doubts about all this sharing and honestly Phil, I'm scared to death. Daisy said she was terrified of losing this and she's not the only one. I – I think about every single thing that could happen to her and it makes me so very afraid. We joked about her driving next year, and it terrifies me thinking about it. She's going to possibly be away from one of us if she gets that job and I have seriously thought about how I can find a way to watch her without her knowing at the Animal Shelter. I know it's paranoia and I know it's not healthy and yes building the fence was part of that."
He smiled. "You think you are the only one who wants to wrap her in bubble wrap and has to know where she is every moment? I've never walked around the school so much before. Between classes, during lunch. I may have followed her at a distance the first few days every morning to make sure she got to class and was okay. After that incident with Ward, I was worse. I – um – I talked to Roy. To thank him for what he did. I may have mentioned how worried I was that Ward might try something. He told me not to worry about it and said his crew would watch over her."
"Good to know that Daisy is saddled with two overprotective, paranoid parents and I'm not alone in my potential hysteria."
He laughed and sat down next to her. "You think she'd be annoyed if I went on all her dates with her?"
"Speaking of, you do know that she is smitten with Robbie, right? He is a good kid, isn't he?"
"Robbie is a senior."
"Okay. That didn't answer my question."
"Yes he's a good kid. But he's a senior. Daisy is only a freshman."
"A freshman who could have been a sophomore had she not been shuffled around so much. Phil, she'll be sixteen."
"In over half a year. That means she's closer to fifteen."
"And how old is Robbie?"
"Seventeen."
"So two years apart. I thought you liked the boy?"
"I do. He's a great kid."
"Phil. You're not going to be one of those dads, are you?"
"What. She's got a lot of things to go through right now. Last thing she needs is pressure from a relationship."
"I've already warned him you know."
"Yeah? Did he run?"
"Held steady. He smartly picked up my meaning quickly."
"You think he's serious. I mean about Daisy or just being nice?"
"I think the smile he flashed her held potential. I also know that Daisy is quite aware of everything currently on her plate. I'm not sure she's ready for a relationship but she certainly can use all the friends she can get. Remember us Phil?"
"All the time."
"We were friends. Close friends. Before we even thought about anything beyond that."
"You mean before you thought about anything beyond that."
She looked at him curiously.
"I thought about it but never wanted to ruin what we had. I mean you were always above my league. I was always amazed that you even talked to me let alone became my friend."
"Phil. You sell yourself way too short. I never saw you as less than - you know that. Those things I struggled with that seemed to come so easy to you – I envied that. How you made everyone around you immediately comfortable. How you were never afraid to be yourself. Your enthusiasm for the things you loved even while getting teased for them. Your joy at discovering the small things in life so many others pass over. How so very easily you pulled me into your world. How you could get me to talk about myself – you and Daisy and to a degree Maria are the only ones who could do that. See, even now you can do it. It was that big heart and your handsome face I fell in love with. Your smile. Your eyes always so intuitive. It was the sensitivity, the compassion, the way you always saw the glass half full. You balanced me Phil. You made me a better person."
He smiled. "You made me want to be a better person. To fight against all the wrongs of the world. Your curiosity about everything was infectious. I used to laugh at some of the people who only saw the surface you. They had no idea. I'm glad you were able to tell us – to talk about – to share tonight."
"I hated it. You know I don't – that doesn't come easy to me. To admit failure."
"It was certainly tragic, Mel. But not failure."
"Phil."
"No, you aren't going to go down that rabbit hole Mel. Just listen for a minute, please. Failure would have been you not caring, being okay with it. You know in your heart that you didn't fail anyone there, that the people who failed where the ones who put those kids in that position. How many other girls got out Mel?"
"Phil, it's just not..."
"That simple? Sure it is. If you could take a step back and look at it professionally. Look at it a picture another agent in your place. What would you tell them? The first thing you would ask is how many girls were saved. So how many, Mel?"
"Eight."
"And what happened to them? I know you followed that."
"Five were reunited with their families in their home countries. One had an aunt here who she went to live with. Two sisters went to the west coast with an older cousin who took them in."
He smiled at her. "So there you go."
"That doesn't cancel out anything Phil."
"No it doesn't. But you need to look at the big picture."
"I try Phil. It's not that easy."
"I know. I'm sorry, I'm trying to minimize how you feel. I'm not trying to – I'm sorry. Let me try again. Tell me how you feel."
She sighed and took a sip of her tea. "Honestly right now I'm kind of numb. Almost like everything I told you about happened to someone else and I just told the story."
"I feel that way a lot. Well I did, anyway. I felt I was living my life but someone else hijacked it and it wasn't really me."
Phil got up and made a cup of coffee from the Keurig. Melinda stayed silent thinking about what he said. Daisy had obvious issues, abandonment issues, past abuse and neglect, not to mention finding out she was not who she thought she was only a short time ago. Because of access to records and her panic attacks and nightmares both she and Phil knew about her issues and were making attempts to address them. As she was with herself and her issues. Her obvious inability to sleep, nightmares, and her PTSD attack as well as now having all that out there from tonight, everyone also knew that she had her own issues. Not to mention her obvious paranoia about Daisy. But Phil had been the rock for them. Standing strong and supporting them both and god she was so stupid.
"Phil. This must be hard on you. Dealing with Daisy, and now me. Plus all the recent changes coming at you so fast."
"Yeah fast and furious, right?" He sat down next to her again stirring the cream into his coffee. "I'm not even really sure. Like I said, at times it feels like this life, at least the life before you and Daisy came back into my life, is someone else's story." He gave her a crooked smile. "When everything fell apart after we lost her, I tried to stay busy."
"You were never one to wallow in sorrow Phil."
"Maybe I should have."
Melinda took a sip of her tea and waited for him to continue.
"I don't know Mel. I moved away and tried to move on. I jumped headfirst into a social life in DC, and just tried t surround myself with friends, dating a lot, and being anywhere but home. Then I met Audrey and I'm not sure if I fell in love with her or just the idea of being with someone who could make me forget, someone who was so different."
"From me?"
"Yeah. Completely. She was an artist, a musician. Loved fine dining, the theater, imported wine, spending money, and being the center of the party. She had a bunch of friends, she liked parties, stayed up late, slept in most mornings, we went out three to four times a week."
"So completely opposite of me?"
He grinned at her. Just then Daisy came back inside with the dog, both barreling into the kitchen. "Hey, guess what guys," she said as she rummaged in the cabinet for dog food, 'it's snowing. There's already a coating on the grass. It's really coming down." She dumped the food into the dog bowl and then looked up at them. "Is the water still hot? I could use a cup of tea."
"It's not. But I can make you some tea. Phil what's the forecast for tonight and tomorrow?"
Daisy pulled out her phone and shoved it under Melinda's face. "Lookee. All night into tomorrow. Six to eight inches of snow." Her eyes shone with excitement. She turned to look at Phil. "Think school will be cancelled?" She bounced on the balls of her feet.
"Maybe. If it actually continues to snow."
Daisy shoved the phone under his nose. "Lookit. See the radar map. It's gonna snow for hours and hours."
"You seem a bit too happy to miss school young lady." Melinda intoned.
Daisy grinned. "If school is cancelled Phil is off too, and you're already of work yet tomorrow. We could build a snowman." She grinned and started dancing around the kitchen while singing, "Do you want to build a snowman, come on let's go play." Then she started belting out, "let it go, let it go...," singing the popular song. Leia joined her by running back and forth and barking.
Melinda's face exploded into a huge grin as she took in the loud chaos her daughter was engaging in. She glanced at Phil whose face echoed hers and then she uncharacteristically joined Daisy singing the familiar words, 'the cold never bothered me anyway."
Daisy stood at the window continuing to look out at the snow. Melinda looked over at her as she came out of her bathroom. "Hey close the blind. Time to sleep."
Daisy turned at saw Melinda was in her normal sleep gear, a pair of yoga pants and a large T-shirt. "I've always loved how everything looks after a snowfall. Before the plows make it all dirty and people are up and about."
"Yeah out here it will stay like that for a while."
"Yeah. Melinda?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something? Something about what you talked about at counseling?"
"I was planning on giving it a rest tonight Daisy."
"Oh. Yeah sure. Nevermind."
Melinda sighed. "Go ahead. What did you want to ask?"
"Did you get hurt during the shooting? Or are the scars from other times?"
Melinda glanced at her. She was certainly perceptive and didn't miss much. "Depends on what part of my body you're talking about."
The pained and scared look Daisy shot her way, made Melinda's heart flutter. She needed to stop being so cavalier about certain things. Daisy had mentioned how scared she was of losing her and losing this new life. "Sorry. I'm fine now Daisy. You don't have to worry about me getting injured. I have a desk job."
"How many times were you shot?"
"Enough. Daisy it's late. Let's try to get to sleep, okay?"
"Okay." She crawled into the bed. Melinda flipped the light off joined her. Daisy laid on side facing Melinda.
Melinda brushed her hair from her face. "Goodnight little one." She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes.
Daisy waited a few moments till her eyes adjusted and she could see Melinda's face. "I have a lot of scars too."
Melinda's eyes blinked open. Her heart was breaking. She reached over to stroke Daisy's face. "I'm so sorry Daisy."
"Sometimes I can still feel them. Does that happen to you too?"
Melinda knew what she meant. "Yes."
"I mean not really feel feel them but feel them."
"Melinda reached for Daisy's hand and squeezed it gently. "Yeah."
"I used to lay awake at night and imagine a place like this. After my – after Cal and Jiaying died in the car accident, I would imagine a family coming to St. Agnes to whisk me away and the house would be sort of like this one, with a big yard, and a big dog. But I could never see the people. But now I see you and Phil, and this whole new life I have, and I can feel this life is real stronger than ever."
"Maybe that's because you're healing?"
Daisy smiled. "I like that."
"Me too."
"Leia's in the room. I didn't want her to be all alone. I brought her bed in here."
"Yes Daisy. She's a bit too big to hide." Melinda raised her eyebrows at her.
"It's okay? That's what I meant."
"Sure."
Daisy sighed and then lifted her shirt up to her ribs. "This is the worst ones I got. Knife wounds. The doctor said I almost died." She shivered. "I had the really bad PTSD episode cause of this one."
Melinda reached her hand and traced over the scars. "I'm so sorry baby."
Daisy shuffled closer and buried herself into Melinda. Melinda pulled her close and tightened her grip on her. Eventually Melinda heard Daisy's breathing even out even as her tight grip on Melinda slackened. Melinda held onto her as she felt herself succumbing to sleep. She drifted in and out, her thoughts flittering about, mostly thoughts about Daisy and what could have possibly happened to her to cause knife injury scars. Finally, she took some deep breaths and focused her mind onto a happy image of Daisy laughing and felt herself drift off.
Melinda was already up and dressed for Tai Chi when she woke Daisy. "Hey sleepyhead. It's late. Time for Tai Chi."
Daisy moaned and pulled the covers over her head.
"So you don't want to join me then?"
"Is cold. M'tired."
"It's already eight o'clock. If you want to join me, I'll be in the basement, after I get a cup of tea."
Daisy mumbled something unintelligible and wigged into a ball under the covers. Melinda smiled and left the room.
Moments later as the time registered in her mind, Daisy threw off the covers and sat up. The room was brighter than normal. Daisy grabbed her phone and checked the time. Sure enough it was a little past eight o'clock. "Huh?" She looked around the room confused and then jumped out of bed and moved to the window. The shade was pulled up and she peered out and saw the ground covered in white. She grinned.
She quickly ran to her own room and got dressed, used the bath, and ran quickly down the hall to the dining room. She stopped in front of Melinda. "It snowed."
"Well aren't you observant." Melinda sassed as she picked up her cup of tea.
"No I mean a lot of snow. No school, right?"
"Well since it's already past eight, what do you think?"
Just then the patio door slid open and Leia and Phil came inside. Leia ran to Daisy and jumped on her.
"About time you two lazy-heads got up."
"It snowed a bunch Phil. How much is there, huh?" Daisy said excitedly as she petted Leia, getting snow from the dog's fur everywhere.
"About nine inches so far. And it's still snowing."
The dog decided to shake off the excess snow on her coat. Melinda glared at the dog as most of it went on her and then turned to glare at Phil.
"Phil."
"Sorry. But she had to go out."
Daisy ran to the door and flung it open. She nearly stepped outside when Melinda's voice stopped her.
"Don't you go out there without a coat young lady. And boots, And a hat."
Daisy shrugged her off and moved to step out the door.
"Daisy! Did you think I was kidding? Go put on boots and coat and hat. It's still snowing. And close the door."
"Seriously?" Daisy looked back at Melinda in disbelief.
"Seriously. Don't make me get up."
Daisy swung her head around to look at Phil. He simply shrugged and nodded his head. "You best do what your mother says."
Daisy pouted as she slammed the door shut. She mumbled under her breath as she ran back upstairs with the dog following her.
Phil glanced over at Melinda. "I think she was smiling underneath all that grumbling."
"Of course she was. She likes that we care. She's also a teenager. And she's stubborn."
"I think she's met her match in stubborn."
Daisy clomped back down the steps and ran into the dining room, going immediately to the patio door. She opened it back up as Melinda looked her up and down. She had on her new snow boots, a pair of jeans her new winter jacket, her new pink hat and her new pink and black insulated gloves. Melinda smiled. She watched as Daisy and the dog walked onto the porch deck, down the steps to the back yard. She got up and went upstairs to change to join them.
Some time later after the whole family had played in the snow, they all came back inside. Phil made them a hearty breakfast and then Melinda and Daisy did Tai Chi. Daisy went back to her room to work on schoolwork and try to get more caught up with all her classes. At around lunch time she came back out of her room holding a book and grumbling.
Melinda was working at the dining room table and looked up as Daisy entered. "Problem?"
"I don't get any of this. She put the algebra book on the table and gave it a disgusted look. "I don't get why it is so hard for me to understand algebra concepts. I can code, I can break into programs, I can bypass firewalls, and I can create computer graphics, but I can't figure out the simple rules of algebra. I am so stupid."
"Daisy. You are not stupid. You are very smart."
"Then why can't I get this Melinda? I mean if I can't get algebra, how can take trig or calculus? Or physics." Her frustration was palpable.
Melinda looked at her surprised. "You want to take more advanced math and science courses?"
"Yeah. But I guess not. Not if I can't figure out algebra. Everyone says algebra's the easiest. Most freshman are already in algebra II or taking geometry. Not me. No Siree. I'm in with all the slow kids, the repeaters and kids who don't care. I don't think the teacher cares either."
"Hey. Sit. Let me try to help."
"You know this stuff? I thought you said you wouldn't be much help?"
"Well, it's been awhile. But maybe I can show you or explain it differently. Show me where you are at and let me read through it for a bit."
Daisy opened the book and pulled out the paper and shoved it to Melinda. "It's only Chapter 2, part A pages 28- 44 and I'm supposed to do all the problems on pages 45-48. The rest of the class is nearly finished with chapter 3. I am so far behind." She looked utterly dejected.
"Are you this far behind in science too?"
"Yeah but not as bad. I mean the first chapter was easy but the second one sucks. My last quiz I only got a 72 on. Plate tectonics and rock formations. It's so boring. I mean that's the stuff I'm working on to catch up. The oceanography stuff we are doing in class is pretty okay actually. And later we are gonna do astronomy, which sounds kinda dope. I think we even go to an observatory on a field trip. So that'll be cool."
"So you're trying to do catch up work and do what the rest of the class is doing?"
"Yeah. I mean it's not that bad. These two classes are the only ones I'm really behind in. English is easy and the teacher is helpful. Spanish - thanks to you, and health and my computer classes are fine. So is history cause Miss Foster is great and Phil is helping me.
"So a tutor for math and science is a priority."
"I guess. But I'll feel even more stupid."
"How about I ask a friend to help you? Someone who is really good at math and science who is not a student?"
"So hiring a real tutor. Isn't that gonna be expensive?"
"Nah. It's a friend. Maybe he can even come over this weekend. Plus you already know him."
Daisy gave her a puzzled look." I do?"
"Fitz."
"The computer guy that you work with? Jemma's boyfriend?"
"Fiancé. Yes."
"But why would he help me? Wouldn't you have to pay him?"
"I think he'd see it as a challenge. He might need to be paid but I'm thinking a few good meals and conversation might be the only compensation he might want. And you could tell him how you blocked him from being able to crack your computer."
"He's talked to you about that?"
"He has. He's certainly curious how a fifteen-year old girl could stymie him. He prides himself on being able to crack any computer program."
"For how long?"
"I guess as long as it takes."
"If I could just have someone explain the fundamentals better. Maybe show the fundamentals, you know? Like why. If I don't get why I usually don't understand."
"You'd be okay with him then? You want me to ask?"
"Yah sure. I mean I'm kinda desperate here."
"I won't mention that when I ask him." She smiled at Daisy. "How about your other classes? You missed school yesterday."
"I'm good. I still have some Spanish work to do, and I need to study for my history test, and I have to answer a couple chapters sets of questions for my English book and write a two page reflection on a short story. But I have the weekend."
"Well I will ask Fitz to come over this weekend to get started. So maybe you can finish up those other things today so you can focus on math and science over the weekend? I can help with your Spanish if you need it."
"Sounds like a plan." Daisy grinned at her. "I thought I was gonna have to suffer with this the rest of the day."
"Are you kidding. Look outside."
Daisy did just that and then looked at Melinda. "Yeah?"
"It stopped snowing. There's at least ten inches in the yard. And it's the kind of snow that packs well."
Daisy looked at Melinda again and shrugged her shoulders. Phil entered the room and laughed. "Do you want to build a snowman?"
Daisy's face lit up. "
After they built several snowmen, and a snow dog, Daisy worked diligently on her schoolwork. With Melinda's help, she finished her Spanish work and even got a little ahead on the next chapter work. She was able to write her reflection literature paper, and finish the workbook pages from English class, and with Phil's help studied for her upcoming test in History. Then they watched "The Last Jedi" and then Daisy went to bed.
Melinda was relaxing on the couch, reading, sitting next to Phil who was watching a basketball game. She had already placed a call to Fitz who was more than willing to help tutor Daisy at the reasonable price of a home cooked meal by Phil before each session and Daisy spilling about how she was able to keep him locked out of her computer. He was going to come over for their first session tomorrow evening.
Phil turned to her during a commercial. "Today was a fun day."
She nodded and looked up from her book. "Very. Oh and I talked to Bobbi. She and Hunter are free on Sunday, and she thinks she can get a few others. I'm sure Daisy can get some of her friends to participate too."
"In what exactly?" He looked puzzled.
"Paint ball in the snow. Bobbi's going to make the reservation tomorrow morning. Should be fun."
"You were serious about that?"
"Of course. Daisy will love it. She was going to try for early afternoon. Afterward maybe Fitz can do more tutoring. I'd like to get Daisy confident about science and math. I have a feeling Fitz can bring it to a level she can understand. What are you making him tomorrow for dinner?"
"I was thinking lasagna. But are you sure the paintball thing is a good idea?"
"It will be fun Phil."
"I've seen you in snowball fights Mel. Fun is not the word that comes to mind."
"Well I'll have fun. Daisy will too. Me, you, Dais, Fitz and Jemma and some of Daisy's friends. We'll kick their ass."
"You forget that Bobbi and Hunter are paint ball veterans. And police officers. Well trained. As are their friends. Izzy. Mack and the other cops."
"Good. The more competitive, the better."
"More like a bloodbath. My sister is very adamant about winning."
Melinda rolled her eyes. "Like I'm not?"
"Oh no she's just like you. That's my point. That's what I'm afraid of."
"You could always go be on your sister's team. Me and Daisy and her younger friends will run circles around you guys. Yep. You should probably be on the losing old people team. More your speed." Her eyes shown with mirth.
"I'm not old. You know you're only a little bit younger than me."
"Younger. Faster. Yep. You should join the slow old team. Not sure you could keep up with us old man." Her grin exploded on her face as she watched his reaction.
"Old man huh?"
She should have seen it coming. He reached the sweet spot just under her ribs and tickled mercilessly. She giggled and tried to wiggle from his grasp, but he was relentless.
"Now who's old? Huh Mellie. Who's slow now?"
She could only gasp at his words trying vainly to push his hands from her. After a few more moments, he relented and allowed her to breathe. His mistake was in not distancing himself quickly enough as he found himself on the floor with her knees pinning him down while she turned the tables on him and proceeded tickle behind his neck knowing exactly where his tickle sweet spot was. Wisely, Phil tapped out which caused Melinda to grin at him and start laughing.
She looked so happy. So much like his Melinda he'd first met all those years ago. He found himself watching her gleefully proclaim victory with a sappy grin on his face. She stopped for a moment looking down at him curiously. Her gaze met his and they both grew still.
"Melinda. I never stopped loving you. You know that, right?"
Her curious face morphed into confusion. "Phil."
He leaned up and kissed her. "You're so beautiful." He said after the chaste kiss.
"Phil."
"Tell me you don't feel it. This. Us."
"Nostalgia. That's what we are both feeling." She got up and offered her hand to pull him up. "That and the fact that neither of us has been canoodling or anything more for a long time has us both a bit on edge."
"Really? Canoodling?" He smirked at her as she pulled him up.
"Maybe you should go out with that lady Bobbi set you up with. What was her name? Rose? Roxie?"
"Rosalind?"
"That's it. Rosalind. She seemed nice."
"Melinda. We should..."
"Get to bed. Yep. Busy weekend coming up. Good night Phil."
He stared as she disappeared rounding the corner to the hallway that led to her room.
Melinda closed the door leaning back against it as her heart was racing. What the hell. Sure, her reaction and his could have been expected. Their close contact, touching and the fact that they were both so comfortable with each other. Intimacy. But was she wrong for wanting more than a chaste kiss and tickle? Geez Melinda, pull yourself together. She started swearing in Chinese as she switched on the light. A head popped up from under the covers on her bed.
"What the...what's going on?"
Melinda stared at the face of her daughter whose hair was sticking out every which way and who looked totally confused.
"I didn't know you'd gone to my room."
"Huh. Mom?"
"It's okay Daisy. Sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep. I'll be there in a few minutes."
The girl blinked rapidly at her, still half out of it. "You want me to leave?"
"No. No. It's okay. You just startled me is all."
More fully awake Daisy frowned at her. "I told you I was gonna stay here when I said goodnight."
Melinda smiled. "Yes, yes you did."
"God Melinda, did you forget? You are old."
Melinda laughed. "I am not old. I was just thinking."
"You sure do think loudly. Wasn't that Chinese?"
"I was just thinking out loud."
"You sounded mad."
"Not mad. Just – just go back to sleep Daisy."
Melinda changed quickly into her oversized T-shirt and yoga pants and then climbed into bed. Daisy had laid back down and pulled the covers over her head. Melinda shut off the lamp, and crawled next to Daisy. The girl found Melinda's hand and wrapped her own around it.
"You sure there's nothing wrong?" The fear in her voice was perceptible.
"I'm sure. It's just I have a lot of things racing through my head."
"Okay. Daisy pulled her head of the blankets and curled into Melinda's side. "G'nite."
"Goodnight sweetie. I love you."
Daisy squeezed Melinda's hand. "Love you too."
Melinda's arm tightened around her daughter as she lay there thinking about her ex-husband.
