Name: Regina Berry

Vehicle: Fifi (A Fiat 500 so pink that it puts Pepto-Bismol to shame and, like its owner, has enough glitter on it to blind any unsuspecting person who looks at it for too long.)

Vehicle Armor: 2/5 (As long as Fifi's shinny and pink, defense is but a mere afterthought to Regina.)

Vehicle Speed: 5/5 (Regina may have the face of an angel, but her eerily optimistic disposition makes her the perfect speed demon.)

Handling: Moderate (Regina doesn't need any fancy turning as long as she has a smile on her face.)

Special Attack: 3/5 (Animal Arena- Upon seeing that their beloved trainer's life is in danger- even if she herself doesn't realize it- all of the animals that perform for the Berry Big Circus rush into the heat of battle and attempt to fight off all who dare to threaten Regina's safety. Since the effects of this attack vary depending on what animals the driver runs into- ranging from birds defecating on their windshield to a gorilla smashing in their hood- the rating is based on the average score earned by every animal.)

Bio: Ohmygosh, I'm on t.v.! Hi, Uncle Moe! Hi, Max! Hi, Trilo! Hi, Acro! Hi, Simon! Hi, Ben! Hi, Reginal! Hi, Astique! Hi, Money! Hi, Acro's birds! I can't believe that I'm finally a t.v. star! Now I can tell everyone in the whole world about how great the Berry Big Circus is! Really, all you guys watching this, go to the Berry Big Circus for a show or two! I promise that you'll have the funnest time of your lives because we've got all kinds of cool stuff: Max flying with his magic, Trilo singing while punching Ben, Uncle Moe's funny jokes- ok, that last one may be a bit hit-or-miss, but the rest of our stuff's a real blast! I mean, you get to see me and all my animal friends! So come on down to the Berry Big Circus for a "Berry" good time! Yay! Oh, Mr. Camera Guy, since I'm on t.v., where can I meet Marvin the Martian? He has such a cute doggy!


Kristoph stands off on the side of the road, face-to-face with Regina Berry, the victor of Debauched Steel who has come to claim her prize.

"Congratulations, Ms. Berry! As the winner of Debauched Steel, you-" Kristoph is interrupted as Regina grabs his hair and starts stroking it as one would a puppy. "What are you doing?"

"Oh my gosh, your hair is sooo soft! It's like a silk napkin! You've gotta tell me how you get it like this!" The young animal tamer squeals.

"Oh, nothing much- brushing it thoroughly every morning, washing it every night, and hours of styling that you're making pointless with each successive stroke. Now get off!" Kristoph growls as he pushes the blonde girl away.

"Geeze, you're a big meanie!" Regina huffs with crossed arms.

"Yes, I'm mean, mean man." Kristoph wryly comments as he pushes his glasses up. "So unless you want me to become meaner, make your wish."

"Wait, the prize is really a wish?" The young animal tamer asks as she cocks her head in confusion.

"Are you serious?" Kristoph askes as he glares at Regina. "That was one of the first things to come out of my mouth when I was explaining the competition from within my giant, flying dirigible. What, were you too busy staring at something shiny instead of paying attention to the man who can currently bend reality to his will?"

"Give me some credit, Mr. Host Guy; I've stopped getting distracted by shiny stuff since I was 12. But while I was busy daydreaming about talking marshmallow bunnies and unicorns playing piano for most of your speech, I heard the part about the prize being a wish. It's just that I thought you were exaggerating and would just give us a lot of money or a year's supply of ice cream or something."

"Yes, because I had you all kill each other, fighting until only one person was left standing, to give you a year's worth of ice cream. Common sense, use it." Kristoph irritably states, prompting Regina's eyes to widen in shock as she took a step back.

"So… So those weren't robots?"

"Correct. Each and every contestant was a living, breathing person who was brutally killed in some way, shape, or form… except you- an accomplishment worthy of my praise."

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Regina wails as she bursts into tears.

"What? I was complimenting you. What do you want, a standing ovation?" Kristoph asks in a cross tone.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Uncle Moe's dead! Max is dead! Everyone is dead! Now I'm alone and the Berry Big Circus will also die!" Regina sobs.

"I can understand why you'd be upset, but don't forget that you are the winner of Debauched Steel. You can simply use your wish to bring back all of your loved ones from the grave. Easy as that."

"But, I-I don't want them to come back as zombies and eat my brain." Regina whimpers.

"Yes, we wouldn't want that to happen now, would we?" Kristoph smirks. Guess she isn't as dumb as I thought. Oh well, there's always Athena Cykes…

"But I can't just let the Berry Big Circus die with them. So for my wish, I just want some performers to take over their duties."

"Do you have any particular roles in mind, or do you just want a spread of different performers?" Kristoph asks with a sinister grin.

"Let's see…" Regina ponders as she taps her chin in contemplation. "We definitely need a clown and a magician. Uncle Moe and Max were the biggest performers, especially since Uncle Moe took on clown duty- in addition to being ringleader- after Simon was arrested. Oh, we also need an acrobat."

"I see… And what of Mr. Woodman and Trilo? Don't you wish to find someone to fill their… unique shoes?"

"No, not really. Don't get me wrong, Ben and Trilo are really nice and funny guys, but our audiences are very polarized on them. They usually either think that Ben and Trilo are the best performers with their snappy, fast-paced dialogue, or they feel really creeped out about Ben being so submissive and Trilo flirting with all the moms that he feels are 'grade-A M.I.L.F.'.

"Well, in that case…"

Kristoph raises his arms in the air, causing bolts of electricity to stream between his hands, emitting a blinding light. When the light diminishes, Regina notices that it's still just her and Kristoph, much to her confusion, as she scans the area.

"Umm, Mr. Host Guy, are your powers broken? Because I don't see anybody."

"Oh, don't worry, Ms. Berry. They'll be here momentarily." Kristoph smirks as the sound of a roaring engine can be heard. "Well, speak of the devil... or rather, the clown."

At that moment, an ice cream truck with a white chassis and pink polka dots, as well as a large macabre clown head with a maniacal, toothy smile and flaming red hair mounted on the roof, speeds towards the duo before coming to an abrupt stop.

"Somebody order a clown?" The driver balefully asks in masculine tone as he rolls down his window to reveal his appearance: a muscular man whose only clothes are a pair of clown pants that match the color scheme of his truck held up by red suspenders, and whose face is covered by a mask resembling a clown's face, only with red pupils, yellow scleras, and a mouth filled with pointed teeth. Though his most distinguishing feature is his hair, which isn't actually hair, but rather bright yellowish-orange flames.

"And an acrobat?" Another male voice asks as the passenger window rolls down to reveal a lanky, teal-skinned man with short, scraggily red hair and a beard to match and wearing tattered rags for clothes held together by orange safety pins.

"Ah, excellent timing gentlemen. Ms. Berry, allow me to introduce you to Mr. Needles Kane, your new clown, and Mr. Augustus Aquato, acrobat extraordinaire."

"Hee hee! They look funny!" Regina chirps as she hops up and down out of excitement. "Tell me a joke, Mr. Needles!"

"Alright, what's red, dead, and as flat as a pancake?" Needles asks in a foreboding tone.

"Hmm… I don't know. What?" Regina responds after taking a moment to think.

"You in about ten seconds."

"I don't get it."

"You will in a moment." Needles smirks as his truck speeds towards Regina, only to narrowly miss hitting her as she jumps out of the way.

"What's wrong with you?!" Regina shrieks. "You could have killed me!"

"Don't worry, cupcake, I won't make that mistake twice." The psychotic clown replies as he revs up his engine.

"Help me, Mr. Host Guy!" Regina pleads with terror-filled eyes, only to find that Kristoph is no longer in the area.

However, the blonde animal tamer doesn't have the luxury to ponder where the demented host of Debauched Steel has gone off to as she once again jumps out of the way of the speeding ice cream truck.

"Hold still, you little brat!" Needles snarls as his flame grows out of anger.

Regina, realizing that she isn't going to get any assistance, wastes no time in returning to her own vehicle and speeding away as fast as possible.

"And so the fun begins…" Needles sneers as he and Augustus drive after the animal tamer.

"I don't know what's worse, the fact that psycho is trying to kill me or that his jokes are way funnier than Uncle Moe's!" Regina bemoans as she sees a missile shaped like a chocolate ice cream cone soar past her car and crash into the side of a nearby building and explode. "What was that?"

Regina looks in her rearview mirror to find Needle's ice cream truck pursuing after her as it launches another ice cream cone missile from its grill- this time vanillia- which Regina dodges by swerving out of the way.

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream…! though some of us scream for different reasons." Needles chuckles as he fires several more ice cream cone missiles at Fifi, only for Regina to dodge each and every one of them.

"Argh! What is wrong with you!? Why aren't you hitting her, you useless oaf?!" Augustus snaps.

"What do you think I'm doing, you overgrown string bean? Maybe I'd have better luck if you weren't busy being such a backseat driver!" Needles snarls as his grip on the steering wheel tightens.

"Well maybe I wouldn't be so irritable if you weren't trying to roast me to death! Would it kill you to turn on the AC?"

"It will when the air blows my flames into the upholstery and lights the truck on fire! I know it isn't comfortable, but when you've been cursed to have a damn campfire on your scalp by some nutty pastor, you've gotta make sacrifices!"

"You clowns are so overdramatic with your excuses! My family has been cursed to die in water for generations, but you don't see me complaining about it, do you!?"

"Go swing on a trapeze, acrobat, because I've got her in my sights…" Needles smirks as he positions the truck directly behind Fifi.

However, before the psychopathic clown can open fire, Astique rushes out from a side street and rams the truck at full force, causing it to be toppled onto its side as it slides off the road and crashes into a nearby building.

"Whew…" Regina sighs in relief upon seeing her trusty elephant friend take care of her problem. "Thank Astique!" The young animal tamer chirps as she waves back to the elephant, which, after waving back to her trainer with her trunk, slowly walks away.

"Damn it!" Needles snarls as punches the steering wheel with both hands, causing the horn to blare.

"Good going, clown!" Augustus hisses with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, like you're a freaking wellspring of ideas?"

"No, but I am an acrobat!" Augustus boasts as he leaps out of the vehicle and, using the skills of his trade, scales to the roof of the skyscraper via entering an alley next to the building and leaping between its wall and that of another building.

Upon reaching the top of the tall building, Augustus uses his powerful legs to leap from rooftop to rooftop as he chases after Regina; and right as she is about to drive out of range, the acrobat throws several spiked juggling pins at Fifi. Though unfortunately for Regina, she is unaware of the hazardous projectiles until two of them puncture the tires on her car's left side, causing it to swerve off the road.

Thankfully, Regina is unharmed as she finds herself at the entrance to the Berry Big Circus and wastes no time in leaving her vehicle and rushing into the tent.

"Oh, if only Max was here! He'd use his magic to fly me away to safety!" Regina bemoans.

"Did somebody say magic?" A whimsical voice askes.

"Who said that?" Regina questions as she scans the tent, finding no other person present.

"I did." The being replies as he appears out of thin air, and is nothing like the animal tamer had ever seen before. His body is paper-thin and his pitch-black hands float off to his sides, not connected to any arms. His outfit consists of a purple and yellow-striped cape and a matching cap, and in between said cap and cape lies his neckless face which resembles a theatre mask- the left half black with a yellow eye and the right half purple with a black eye- with a red grin for a mouth.

"Who are you?" Regina asks with a look of sheer awe.

"I am the master of dimensions, the pleaser of crowds. I am… Dimentio!" The being says with a bow. "I heard that you were in need of a magician. So here I am to liven things up, like a drunkard at a karaoke bar."

"Sorry, Mr. Dimentio. I'm sure you're a pretty good magician, but with the way my day's been going, I've decided not to hire any new performers for the time being." The animal tamer bemoans with a worn-out expression.

"Your words, they hurt me like an arrow fired into my heart by an angry archer!" The jester states as he puts a hand to his heart. "Perhaps a demonstration of my skills will change your mind, yes?" Dimentio snaps his fingers, transporting both himself and Regina to a small green room. "Behold, fair maiden, a dimension of my own creation, Dimension D! So, are you impressed?"

"I'm just happy to get away from those creeps who were chasing after me. Thank you, Mr. Dimentio!" Regina chirps.

"I'm glad that you're enjoying the show, but performance is complete with just a single act?" Dimentio snaps his fingers, transporting Needles and Augustus into the room.

"No! Not them!" Regina screeches as she backs against the wall.

"Oh, the sweet look of terror in your eyes, like that of a child who has been bullied and touched inappropriately on the school bus! Now, let's begin the second act of this little program."

"Took the words outta my mouth." Needles sneers as he pulls out a chainsaw.

"Let's see just what she's got." Augustus chimes in as he starts juggling several spiked pins that have spontaneously combusted.

"Alright then, it's showtime!" Dimentio excitedly proclaims as he lifts his right index finger, causing a purple sphere of energy to form on his fingertip.

The three men proceed to slowly approach Regina as she cowers and whimpers with her back pressed to the wall.

Meanwhile, back in the Ace Attorney universe, Kristoph laughs as he watches Dimentio, Needles, and Augustus brutally murder Regina on a television from the safety of his dirigible.

"The circus is the only fun you can buy that is good for you… unless, of course, you're the animal tamer." Kristoph sneers. "I am Kristoph Gavin, and I thank you for watching Debauched Steel."


A/N: I would like to thank The Scollard for submitting the idea for this chapter.