Mavis ceased her running and collapsed against a tree, panting for breath as she waited for her cursed body to heal its aching feet. She had used her Illusion magic to create Gaurdian Eagle and scare the townspeople from their village, with the end result being she was able to freely roam the streets and discover the name of the county she was in. While she was there she had also obtained a map and eaten a meal for the first time in days. It was ironic, how many questions she'd wanted to asked Zeref about his immortality that she was now finding out through experience; immortals didn't need food or sleep, but they were still subject to hunger and drowsiness, for instance. All these years I didn't actually need sustenance or rest to survive. How amusing, she thought.
The first tear ran down her face, followed by another and another as she silently bent her head. The map crumpled in her grip, and another uncontrollable wave of death magic emanated from her as she recalled the lives, human and otherwise, that she had taken today. The emotional pain of their deaths was almost too much for her to mentally endure, and all at once she wished she could stop caring for those that died and all living things in general, as paradoxical as she'd previously thought the desire could be for one who still cared.
No! I can't let this be my legacy. I will fight it. I won't lose my regard for human life, no matter how many lives I take, for that would jeopardize the world far more than the alternative. With that firm resolve in mind, Mavis decided to stay where she was in an effort to stop killing. If she didn't move from this spot...she knew it was a day's journey from any civilization, so perhaps no one would happen upon her and thus no one would die. Rita's demise was caused by her immediate proximity to Mavis, thus no one should succumb her curse if she gave them ample warning at a safe distance. As for the animals, they could learn, couldn't they? Except for those in the circle of death surrounding her, none had died since she'd sat down at the base of the tree.
A few hours later she was bored out of her mind. She had studied the map thoroughly, tried to sleep, rehearsed passages from various encyclopedias, even counted the falling leaves. Anything, she discovered, was better than thinking. For all she could ruminate over at present was her sins, her friends, and Zeref. Painful subjects to say the least. Her naturally imaginative mind was dulled with worry and sadness, closing the door of fantasy that had so often saved her from loneliness throughout her childhood.
A low growl sounded from somewhere behind her, and Mavis quickly turned to investigate. A jackal crouched close to the ground, yellow eyes regarding her threateningly from a few yards away. Happy to finally have company, she then quickly remembered why she was so grateful for it in the first place. "Please stay back, for your own sake," she warned. When the animal snarled, fur on its neck rising in a prelude to a pounce, she jumped up and stood as tall as she could while maintaining intense eye contact with the predator. She had read once never to run, as it would only give chase, and instead to appear as threatening as possible.
However, her plans were foiled when six more large jackals emerged from the brush around her, surrounding her completely and eradicating all hope of intimidation. All of a sudden she remembered her Illusion magic, and raised thin arms to create Heavenly Wolf. Her magic power had been depleted earlier that day, but a decade had passed for her to grow in strength and the spell worked.
Instead of running in fear as she had calculated, the animals remained unfazed, seeming to differentiate the mirage from reality with some inhuman sixth sense. Mavis dropped to her knees in exhaustion and begged, "Please, I've only ever wanted to be your friend." As with every other life she had taken since Rita's death, she received no reprieve. Her arms covered her head and she wept as the life forces of the predators around her were drained, their bodies hitting the forest floor simultaneously.
If her victims came to her, then it would be pointless to stay in one spot. Perhaps she could find a less densely populated area; a dessert, maybe? Or maybe if she kept moving, she wouldn't stay long enough in any one place to destroy it, but that plan hinged on the sporadic nature of her death magic improving. She'd cried more over the past few days than any other week in her life, even when Zera died. It was about time she put an end to the useless tears. Tenaciously struggling to her feet, Mavis wiped the moisture from her eyes forcefully and went on her way.
...
Zeref sighed as he contemplated the pale-yellow crescent moon from his vantage point on a jagged stone boulder atop a hill. The humid summer night was still and quiet save for the constant chirping of crickets, with few distractions to detract from the haunting beauty of the sky above. Nothing but his own mind, that was.
It had been four months since he had last talked to Mavis—he knew because he'd taken note of the time in case it served a purpose. Four months since he had told her about her curse. He wondered if it had been activated, and felt a quick pang of sympathy for the pain she was destined to endure. If she hadn't already then she inevitably would.
Some compassionate part of Zeref wanted to reassure her, show her that she could walk alongside him and survive. He could talk her through it, and in the midst of her grief she could have one friend who wouldn't succumb to her magic. He wanted to give her what he had never had. Or did he want her for more selfish reasons?
Either way he'd searched for her, spying on her guild only to learn she had fled the day of their last conversation, the same day Yuri's wife died. Which led him to believe that the curse had indeed been activated. Where would Mavis go? He had combed the forests of Magnolia for good measure, even after concluding that assuming she would linger near a city where her friends might find her was an insult to her intelligence. So he'd continued his search elsewhere, roaming numerous forests and mountain ranges. Anywhere Zeref would go whenever he needed solitude and a place to live out his frustration, he searched for Mavis.
And so far he was out of luck. He wasn't concerned for her physical wellbeing—he would know that one with the Curse of Contradiction couldn't die or deteriorate—but rather for her mental state. The curse disintegrated morality over time, corroding one's mental sanity and destroying the boundaries instituted by the mind to instill a code of honor. He didn't care for the idea of the world suffering under a tyrannical Mavis, nor that of his ray of light losing her innocent compassion. For the curse did steal compassion, over time. He needed to find her before that happened. She differed from him in that she would be more easily corrupted, being naturally more caring and thus less equipped to cope.
To pass the time and keep from obsessing over her, Zeref had attempted to focus his attentions on building his country across the waters in Alakitasia. His hobby had ironically been christened the Alvarez Empire, though he viewed it as little more than a means to pass the time. Due to his businesslike attitude, none of his subjects had died by his hand thus far. He'd broken one of his own rules of seclusion to build the country, but justified his trespass by reasoning he would keep his territory neutral. And he needed something to occupy his mind.
Over the years he had all but given up on the hope that Natsu may one day kill him even as he waited patiently for that very event, but the wish to die still troubled his weary soul. Being immortal had a way of driving one raving mad. Zeref had debated taking matters into his own hands once more by resuming his creation of the Etherious, powerful demons whom he hoped may one day put an end to his life, but decided he would bide his time a bit longer. He knew his creations had harmed a great deal of innocents in the past, and at present hurting people was the furthest thing from his desire. Creating the creatures had essentially been a pastime brought about by impatience during a more heartless period in his life, as deep down he knew they would never be able to break Ankhseram's curse. He needed to live in denial in order to hold hope for something, however.
And so recently he'd spend a few days at a time at Alvarez, before leaving control of it to his second in command and chief of staff to run in his absence. And the rest of his time, instead of his usual seclusion to clear his emotions, was spent searching for the only person he couldn't kill.
"Mavis," he whispered, wondering why he couldn't vanquish the image of her fear-filled eyes from his memory. Standing, he tightened the knot of his toga and vanished into the woods.
...
Little did Zeref know that the subject of his thoughts was gazing at the same moon, lying on her back in a self-made clearing in the woods. How strange that a sight that had once filled Mavis with such peace was now only capable of bringing sorrow. Not even the crickets survived the Death Predation spell her body would cast at random, but in time the spontaneity of the waves had improved. Now she could almost always sense whenever she was about to kill someone, which she'd discovered was whenever she felt a strong positive emotion for them. Namely, love. The less love and compassion she felt, the less potent her release of death energy. Such was the Curse of Contradiction.
She had spent the last few months aimlessly wandering the lands of Fiore, avoiding human contact at all costs and leaving countless animal corpses in her wake. She hadn't yet been able to find a desert, and her will to live was rapidly fading, but apparently not her compassion and value for life.
Mavis sighed quietly and dug her toes into the earth as she flexed her arms behind her head. Her clothes were sticking to her sweaty body, and it had been several weeks since she had last bathed. In a different lifetime she would never have allowed herself to get so filthy. Standing, she slowly began walking towards a small nearby pond. Mechanically, she stripped down and stepped into the cool water after casting aside her ragged dress and underdress.
The pond was shallow, so the water only reached her breasts, but it served its purpose well. While it felt soothing against her sticky skin, it was not nearly as pleasurable as she remembered it to be on that long ago night she swam with Zera. How ignorant she had been then, how naïve and carefree. She wished she could talk to her best friend one more time. Even on Tenrou Island she'd had a subconscious Illusion and the many species of animals to keep her company, but now she was utterly alone.
Feeling lonelier by the second, she summoned her magical powers and created Zera. The sight of her childhood friend brought back some good memories, but consciously knowing it was an illusion, she felt weird about making the girl say anything. How glad she was that Zera hadn't been a living person. Surely she would've killed her by now, had her friend been alive to die.
Sighing, Mavis let the incandescent mirage dissolve, knowing better than anyone that conscious illusions weren't convincing substitutes for people. Bending her knees in the water, she submerged her head and tried breathing in a lungful of pond water through her mouth. Suffocating was harder than she'd imagined, the impulse to come up for air being so strong that she eventually did. Coughing convulsively, she clutched her chest as her windpipe and lungs burned. Apparently she could still feel pain—that hadn't changed—but theoretically, no amount of damage she incurred would be able to kill her or unable to heal. Refusing to accept that as true, she decided she could keep trying. Perhaps if she stopped eating, she might eventually die? Optimistic thinking. But she was a little curious as to whether she would lose weight, and it wasn't as though she cared whether she ate.
It grew chilly in the water but Mavis didn't move, staring at the moon's reflection in the glassy surface as she shivered silently. Slowly but surely, the girl who had loved warmth was being replaced by a woman who didn't mind the cold.
It would certainly be nice to have someone to talk to. But there were none who could understand her, none she wouldn't harm. Except... "Zeref," she said out loud, startling herself with the sound of her own voice. Of course! How could I have forgotten about him? He gave me this curse. No, I gave myself this curse. It wasn't his fault that I decided to use an incomplete Black magic spell after he made me promise I wouldn't. Still, if I had never met him then Rita and all the people and animals I've murdered wouldn't have died. I wouldn't be immortal. I hate him. But if I had never met him, would Fairy Tail exist? I love him for his kindness in teaching us to use magic...but I...
Her head beginning to throb, Mavis discontinued that contradictory line of thought and waded to the edge of the pond to retrieve her clothing. No amount of baths in the world would cleanse her of the sins she had committed, her curse and desperation driving her to think darker thoughts than ever before.
Curling up between two tree roots, she fell into an uneasy sleep. And the next morning, she had come to a decision.
She would travel to Mount Hakobe and live in bitter cold seclusion, undisturbed and unconcerned by the rest of the world. How hard could it be? If there was a chance to stop the constant death, she would take it. Gritting her teeth in determination, she began her trek through the wooded land to the dangers of the north with nothing more than the clothes on her back, her bare feet, and a legendary curse.
A few hours later the sun was shining through the matured leaves, drying the dewy drops glistening on the greenery around her. Lost in thought again, Mavis didn't notice the beauty as her mind was working double time on the journey ahead of her. Stepping on what she assumed was a sharp object, she automatically jerked her smarting foot away to reveal a large brown and yellow–striped hornet. The pain brought her back to the present expediently and she hopped twice on one leg, holding her foot as she gasped. Slowly, her magic neutralized the venom and the annoying pain abated. Finding her footing once more, Mavis scowled down at the offending arthropod—which was still alive.
Looking up in surprise, a quick glance showed that the foliage around her was undisturbed as well. Zeref's words, as well as what she'd read about the curse, came back to her. Of course. The less one cares about life, the less death energy one emanates. Am I losing my regard for life already? No! I still care about all that's sacred, and life is the most sacred thing of all! The insect sting and the preservation of nature in my radius must be a coincidence. Despite the long months spent worrying about losing her compassion and sanity, her self-assurance was easier to believe due to the fact that she hadn't awoken to death that morning. Surely enough, to her mingled relief and consternation the leaves and brush around her promptly dried up.
Two months later, the girl who was as bright and pretty as her French namesake the song thrush, though dirty and feeling hopeless, had arrived at the highest peak of Mount Hakobe. So far she'd unintentionally killed two white wyverns, and was currently trying her best to keep her mind off the misery of freezing but never dying. She calculated that over sixteen thousand living creatures would die a year, excluding the many varieties of plants, if she were to remain in a friendlier climate. Whereas here, only two creatures had died in in almost one day, which equalled roughly five thousand a year. And that was if she was forced to confront two wyverns a day, which she doubted would be the case. If she remained on this mountain, Mavis reasoned, the lives dying by her hand would be reduced to a third of the tally.
But the real problem didn't lie in whether the numbers were suitable to her decision; it lay in whether she could hold on to her sanity in this place for...literally an eternity. It had scarcely been a day and she was slipping into a haze of nightmares, the constant cold, loneliness and blinding blizzard eating through her composure to bring her to the brink of insanity. Her knees shook with weakness, hunger pangs manifesting themselves as a continual rat gnawing at the pit of her empty stomach.
...
Mavis sat huddled in the snow, at what she assumed was the peak of the most formidable mountain range in Fiore. After days of climbing and painfully cold limbs which constantly attempted to thaw themselves out, she shivered in the snow while the raging blizzard beat at her hair and clothing like sand. Forced to face the reality of her decision, she correctly deduced that reducing the harm she caused other beings would inevitably result in losing her human compassion for them in the first place, causing her to become as evil as any of the dark guilds she had fought as Fairy Tail's master. Compassion was what all villains lacked, and she could not afford to lose it and risk taking more innocent lives than she would if she'd continued slaying them due to love.
Any scenario where she pictured herself attempting to physically refrain from killing as much as possible, she also foresaw the outcome of going mad eventually. The only choice she was allowed was whether physical and mental or emotional torture would be the cause. If Mavis's calculations were correct, then immortality would find a way to corrode her morality one way or another. There was no escaping it; the only question was which path to insanity or indifference, and ultimately evil, was shorter. Isolation was synonymous with madness.
The irony of the fact that trying not to kill in an effort to refrain from being evil would make her become evil faster was enough to make her scream. Speaking of screaming...she jumped to her feet, wavering a little, and tried to run down the hill. Falling over predictably, she tumbled to the bottom with her eyes shut tightly against the swirling white blizzard. Blood was frozen in droplets against her face, the wounds caused by the harsh snow having long since healed. Needily looking forward to the warmth of the sunlight once more, Mavis's stiff legs propelled her faster over the frozen tundra.
A/N: To 1995hzq: You're welcome! Thanks for your question, I'm always happy to answer them. I've often wondered where Zeref would've taken Alvarez if Mavis hadn't been trapped in a lacrima for a century. Your question digs pretty deep into the future of this fic, but I'll try to answer it without giving too much away. In my opinion Mavis's "death" was the last straw for Zeref. It embittered him and solidified his cynicism (a throwback to the years right after he obtained his curse), and he began making serious plans for when the current age was over: building up his empire, officially deciding he didn't want love if it equalled death and it was a mistake to care for people, etc. Before Mavis's supposed death Alvarez was much smaller and predominantly a game to him.
So one might say that had Mavis lived, they would've truly searched for a cure to the curse together. Zeref has much to resolve about the nature of mankind and whether they are deserving of the annihilation he was so eager to serve up in order to erase his past crimes in the canon. Like I said, cynicism played a large role in his warmongering. As for whether we'll see characters from the Spriggan 12, yes and no. Remember this is 95 years before the Alvarez arc and many of them have yet to be born or created.
