A/N: I've been tossing this one around for a while and decided to finally write it. I'm terrible to write this but I really needed to get this stupid joke out of my head. This one is highly inappropriate humor but the coffee is real so if someone says they have a really great coffee make sure you look it up first.

Best/worst coffee in the world

The city of Zootopia has many wonders within its borders. One of them that is more mundane is how many coffee shops are in the city. Brutus once noted three Snarlbucks within a block of each other. His mate Sandy preferred tea to coffee, but for Brutus there was nothing else that could get him up in the morning. Well, at least up on his feet.

Most mornings he would stumble into the kitchen and fix a mug. Except for those days where she wore him out before they even got out of bed. On those days she would let him sleep and go to a coffee shop for something fancier as a reward.

This morning she found this new shop that had just opened. The sign read the Kopi Luwak Cafe. The place looked like it catered to upper class customers and so she thought this place must have good coffee. A number of civets were working as staff and it looked like all of them were eating berries.

Huh, nice that they let the staff snack on stuff while on duty. She thought absentmindedly.

There were mainly prey mammals as customers and not one canine. The coffee was a tad expensive but she didn't think much of it. Taking it home to her male was all that was on her mind as she drove home. The smell of the coffee was richer and fuller than what he usually drank. She hoped he liked it. He was in the kitchen at the counter cutting up some melon for their breakfast as she came in.

"Hey there Dove." he said sleepily as he continued preparing. "I thought I would get breakfast started while you were out this time."

"Here's your coffee love. It's from a new place." she said passing him the togo cup.

Brutus popped off the top and sniffed the aroma of the coffee. "Smells kinda nutty…. Is this a joke?"

Sandy looked at him confused and he saw that she had no idea what he was talking about.

"The place you went was run by civets and they were eating reddish berries, right?" he asked. "I can smell them."

"Yeah… why aren't you drinking it?" she asked.

"Because this is really shitty coffee." he said with a grin.

"Okay I'm missing something here." her ears at her confused setting and her head tilted.

"Get out your phone and look up Kopi Luwak while I dump this shit down the toilet where it belongs." he said chuckling.

On his way to the nearest bathroom he could hear quite clearly her voice crying out in shock, "Eww oh my Gods that's disgusting!"

"Well at least I could smell it before I tasted it, Dove." he called as he laughed at her repeated cries of "Ew. Ew. gross."

Kopi Luwak is one of the most expensive coffees in the world. It is because of this that many believe it is also the best. It is actually the shittiest coffee in the world, literally. Civets eat coffee berries. They then defecate and the partially digested coffee beans are removed from the shit. So yes the most expensive coffee in the world actually tastes like civet shit.