BPOV

It took me a solid five seconds to process what Charlie had just said. Renee was dead. My mother, the woman who'd abandoned me as a child and degraded me after learning that I wouldn't give my son up to what she referred to as a proper family, was dead.

"How?" I asked, unsettled by the calmness of my voice.

"I don't know," he said, quietly. "They're guessing an overdose, but until they do an autopsy and everything, they won't know for sure."

"That is . . ." I shook my head. "That is so like her. It was bound to happen sooner or later, right? Whether it was behind the wheel of a car, or some hotel room, her drinking and drug habit were bound to catch up to her eventually."

"I suppose so," Charlie muttered. "Look, I'll get the boys from school, okay? You don't have to worry about anything, we're here to help."

"No, I'll get the boys, it's fine," I said, taking a deep breath. "Um, yeah, I'll get them."

"Honey, I don't mind," Charlie insisted.

I shifted my eyes up to his. "I said I will pick up my children from school. Christ, I'm fine, okay?"

"Whatever you say," Charlie mumbled, dropping his eyes to the floor. "Sorry to bother you."

Before I could apologize, Charlie turned and headed downstairs. Edward closed the door to his room and looked back at me. The expression on his face told me everything: I'd been a bitch. My father was trying to help, and instead of letting him, I'd lashed out at him.

I shook my head. "Wow, could I have handled that any worse?"

"Probably." Edward smiled and pulled me into his arms. "You know he was just trying to help."

"I do, but she wasn't anything to me, Edward. Why should I care if she's dead?"

"Because even though she was a bitch, and even though she hurt you in ways that I'll never truly understand, she was your mother," he whispered, rubbing my back. "And it's okay to be sad, Bella."

I sighed, and looked up at him. "That's the problem, I'm not sad. Edward, I feel relieved. She can't come after us, she can't hurt the boys. It's selfish of me, but I'm glad she's dead."

"Baby, there isn't a selfish bone in your body." Edward leaned down and kissed my lips. "And you're not supposed to feel any certain way. Just remember, though, that I'm here if or when you need someone to talk to, okay? Promise me that you won't hide from me."

"I promise," I murmured. "And thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, we'd better get some work done before it's time to go get the boys. We, um, wasted a lot of time this morning doing other things."

I smirked. "I don't call what we did wasting time. I rather enjoyed the way you took me."

Edward groaned. "Me too, baby, but if I don't get those proofs emailed to Sam, then I won't be having a show next month and we can't afford that."

"Fine," I sighed, detangling myself from his arms. "Suppose I could edit my book for Caius or something. Besides, Demetri left me like half a dozen voicemails and I should probably call him back."

"Um, yeah, because last time you ignored him, he came charging over and threatened to kick my ass, which was ironic seeing as it wasn't my fault that you enjoy ignoring him."

"I don't enjoy it, per se," I said. "It's more of that when his face gets really red, and I mean like really red, he reminds me of Elmo and I find that funny."

"You have a twisted soul, baby, truly twisted," Edward snickered. "Good thing you love me."

"I do, you know?" I said, seriously. "Love you, I mean."

Edward smiled and brought his hand up to my cheek. "I love you, too."

—MF—

Edward and I hid out in his room until it was time to go pick up the boys. Honestly, I was hiding away from my father, Esme, Carlisle, and everyone else. I wasn't stupid. The moment they heard about Renee dying, they would have rushed right over to offer their support. I appreciated it — I really did — but Renee stopped being my mother the day she told me to abort my son because he'd be better off dead than having me as his mother. There were just some things I couldn't forgive and that was one of them. Add in the fact that I believed her to be responsible for the destruction of our house, and I wouldn't be mourning her anytime soon.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, closing his laptop and looking over at me.

Saving the document I was working on, I did as he did and closed my laptop. "As ready as I will ever be." Standing up, I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my keys. "You can stay here if you want. I don't mind."

"Nah, I need some fresh air," Edward said, shrugging his shoulders. But of course, I knew him better than that. He still wasn't sure I was okay and wanted to be there in case I had a breakdown. Silly man, I thought.

"Great," I told him, smiling.

Just like I knew they would be Charlie, Esme, and Carlisle were sitting in the living room, whispering amongst themselves when we came down. With the way their eyes shifted over to me, I knew they'd been talking about me and my complete lack of emotions when it came to Renee. They just didn't understand how much she'd hurt me when she doubted my ability to love my son. She'd never been there for me as a child, and I certainly wasn't going to make the same mistakes as her.

"Gee, Edward, ever walk into a room and get the feeling like everyone's been talking about you?" I asked, dryly and walked over to the door.

"Only every day for four years," he replied. "But you know they only do it for your own good."

"Hmm, so I've heard," I groused, opening the door and walking out of the house.

Edward followed me out to the car and climbed in behind the wheel while I slid into the passenger seat. Letting my hand graze over my belly, I put on my seatbelt. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. I was fifteen weeks pregnant and we were virtually homeless. Sighing, I looked over at Edward. He'd already pulled out of the driveway and was heading to the school.

"I think we should build a new house," I murmured.

He smiled and looked over at me. "Yeah?"

"Yes. I mean, this would be a chance for us to have our dream house, wouldn't it? We can have it anyway that we want. But I do like the idea of building on a fresh piece of land. I don't know, I just kind of feel like she's tainted the other one."

"Okay, we can put that lot up for sale and start looking for something immediately. In the meantime, do you want to keep looking for a rental house or maybe an apartment?"

"I don't know," I said. "Neither options are particularly attractive, but I don't want to keep living with your parents, either. Besides, they shouldn't have to deal with us."

"They don't mind, but I get your point. We need someplace where we can be a family again."

"Exactly." Turning in my seat, I tried to explain myself. "The boys need us to provide them with stability. It's one of the reasons why we decided to move in together in the first place. Right now, they don't have it. Hell, you and I don't have it. We spend more time locked upstairs in your bedroom then we do anywhere else. And, baby, I love you, but we can't spend every day in bed together."

"Though, it would be fun." Edward laughed. "But I agree with you. So, we'll look for an apartment or house to rent while we build. That shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Right," I scoffed. "Because all of this has been so easy for us."

"Damn, well, we might as well give up now," Edward snickered.

"You laugh, but look at our stats, babe. Neither one of us have exactly the best luck."

"We found each other, didn't we?" Edward asked, reaching over and holding my hand.

"Yeah, we did." I smiled. "Thanks to the boys. Do you think they knew when they became friends on their first day of school that five years later they'd be brothers and we'd be married?"

"No," Edward laughed, parking in front of the school. "But I don't think that it was just a coincidence that they were placed in Alice's classroom, or that they were drawn to each other like they were."

"You don't?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "This will probably sound crazy, but I believe that Sarah and Brody led our children to each other, which led to you and I toward finding each other. I think they wanted us to be a family, Bella."

"That's totally something Brody would have done," I chuckled. After five years of marriage, I loved that Edward and I were comfortable enough to be able to talk about Sarah and Brody like this. They'd always be a part of our loves; we saw bits and pieces of them in our sons every day.

"Sarah, too. Anthony is more like her every day," Edward murmured. "Stubborn and pigheaded."

"Yeah," I scoffed, "because you're neither of those things. Keep telling yourself that, Edward."

Edward muttered under his breath that he was neither stubborn nor pigheaded as we climbed out of the car and waited for the bell to ring and dismiss the boys. Rose, Kate, Angela, and Jasper were waiting outside of the doors as always, and based on the tentative looks on their faces, I knew they'd already been told about Renee, too. I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. Was it really so wrong that my mother's death didn't mean a damn thing to me? Besides, she'd never really been a mother to me, anyway.

"How's this little fella doing?" I asked Angela, placing my hand on Jude's back.

Angela smiled proudly. "He's great. Slept through the night for the first time last night. Felt like heaven."

"Oh, I bet," I giggled. "I'm so not looking forward to all those sleepless nights."

"Especially with twins," Angela added.

"Yeah, no kidding," I murmured. "Can I hold him?"

"Of course." Carefully, Angela placed Jude in my arms. The sweet, tiny baby opened his eyes and looked up at me. His lips curled up and he smiled. "Would you look at that? He doesn't smile for just anyone, you know."

"He doesn't?" I asked.

Angela shook her head. "No, he's a quiet baby, doesn't like to be jostled around too much, but he seems to like you."

Bringing my hand around, I slipped a finger into his tiny grasp. Jude's smile grew bigger and tears filled my eyes. The last time I held a baby like this, I'd been on my own, trying to figure out how to be a mother. Through endless nights of pacing and praying that Alex would fall asleep to celebrating each milestone with just my father there to support me, I'd done it alone. Just me, Alex, and Charlie until Edward and Anthony came into our lives.

"Bella, are you okay?" Angela asked, sliding Jude from my arms. It wasn't until then that I realized I'd been crying softly. "Edward, is she okay?"

"She's okay," he whispered, turning me into his arms and holding me. Pulling me away from the group, he stopped when he'd reached the car. "Baby, talk to me."

"She was never there for me, Edward," I wept. "She never got to see Alex take his first steps, or taste his first bite of carrots. Charlie was there. I hate her."

"But," he whispered.

"Why didn't she love me enough to give up her life? Why couldn't she have stayed and taught me how to be a mother? I had to learn it all on my own — all of it. Why wasn't I worth anything to her?"

"I don't know," he murmured. "I wish I did, but I don't. I'm sorry that she wasn't a momma for you, baby."

"I really do hate her," I whimpered.

"Me too," he soothed.

The bell shrilled through the air and I attempted to wipe the moisture off of my cheeks. The last thing I needed would be for the boys to know that I'd been crying. It was bad enough that I'd let my guard down in front of Rose, Angela, Kate, and Jasper, I didn't need my sons to see me like that, too. I was supposed to be the one protecting them, not vice versa. As usual they were the last two out of the building.

"Hey, guys, how was school?" Edward asked, before they could speak.

However, they weren't fooled. Both Alex and Anthony looked over at me as they muttered, "Good."

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, folding his arms in front of him. "You've been crying."

"Hey, let's go get some ice cream and we'll explain," Edward suggested.

Alex and Anthony shared a look before agreeing. I hated that they worried so much about me, especially Alex. He'd already spent too much of his childhood trying to take care of me, rather than letting me be the parent. It wasn't until Edward and Anthony came into the picture that he was able to relax and just enjoy being a kid. The ride to Malcolm's was made in silence. The small parlor had been witness for a lot of our joyful moments, but now, it would be tainted by my mother's death. Shaking my head, I looked out the window. Just one more way that she'd tried to ruin my life.

Solemnly, the four of us climbed out of the car and headed inside. We ordered our treats and settled in our usual booth. The silence was deafening, only broken up by the sounds of the families milling around us.

Sighing, Edward placed his spoon on the table. "You remember that woman that came to the house before the fire?"

"Yeah, the crazy one," Anthony said, shrugging his shoulders. "What about her?"

"Well, she, um, she was your mom's . . ." Edward trailed off, huffing.

"She was my mother," I said, causing the boys to look over at me. "Remember how I told you that she'd left me when I was a little girl?"

"Yes," Alex replied, frowning.

"Well, she came back and I don't know what she wanted." Pausing, I took a deep breath. "And she died this morning."

"Oh." Alex frowned. "And that makes you sad?"

"I — I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "It's really complicated. She wasn't there for me when I needed her."

"Maybe she didn't know how to be," Anthony whispered and I looked over at him. "You and Dad always say that there isn't a handbook on how to be parents, right?"

"Yes," Edward answered.

"Okay, well, maybe she didn't know how to be there for you, Mom." Anthony looked out the window. "Maybe she was scared that she wouldn't be good enough, or something."

"Yeah, maybe," I murmured, reaching over and covering his hand with mine. Anthony turned to me with tears in his eyes. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Just every day," he whispered as a tear fell down his cheek. Anthony brought his shoulder up and brushed it off.

"Good, then I'm doing my job as your momma." Smiling, I turned to Alex. "And yours, too."

"You're so gross, Mom," Alex muttered, trying to hide the way his cheeks turned red.

"Yeah, maybe I am," I giggled. "Now, tell me about school. Anything exciting happen?"

"Nah," he said, snorting. "Pretty much the same boring crap as yesterday."

"No kidding," Anthony scoffed. "Though, at lunch, Elliott mixed his salad, meatloaf, and fruit together and dared me to eat it."

"Did you?" I asked in horror.

"Um, yeah," Anthony said, looking at me like I was crazy. "It was a dare. I couldn't not do it."

"Yeah, Mom," Edward smirked and turned to me, "he couldn't not do it."

"Gee, what was I thinking?" I giggled.

"I don't know, Mom." Anthony sighed. "I just don't know."

After hearing the disgusting details on how Elliott's concoction tasted, we tossed our empty ice cream cups in the trash, climbed back into the car, and headed back to Carlisle and Esme's house.