(10/26/2016) This chapter is concluding "Book 1," aka season 1 of both shows. I'm separating them into books for my sanity. Next up: season 2 of Buffy and season 2 and 3 of Supernatural! Be forewarned: the Supernatural stuff will be all out of order in order to lead up to a big finale that'll hopefully make sense.

There's a section in here with medical babble in it. Fellow crossover writer Authoressinhiding gets absolutely all the credit for it. If she's reading this, thank you thank you thank you!

Thank you philly cheese dude, IAmMattis, missmeow1968, and NightWatcher666 for the reviews! And all you new quiet favoriters and followers get delicious pomegranate seeds.


Faribault County Register

The Faribault County Sheriff's office is investigating the brutal murder of Pastor Jim Murphy.

"Pastor Jim," as he was known, was found by parishioners lying on the floor of his church between two pews. Preliminary reports say that the murderer cut the pastor's throat. No reliquaries or other valuables have been stolen. Police are currently assuming that this was a personal vendetta.

Witnesses claim to have seen a young woman with short blonde hair enter the church approximately one hour prior to the estimated time of death. If you or anyone you know has any details regarding this woman, please call the Blue Earth Police Department at .


(Phone call from the demon known as Meg to Sam Winchester)

SAM: Hello?

MEG: Sam?

SAM: Who is this?

MEG: Think real hard. It'll come to you.

SAM: Meg. Last time I saw you, you were running scared after Angel threw a stake into your chest.

MEG: And then you went and killed all my friends! That really hurt my feelings by the way. Now, let me speak to your dad.

SAM: My dad. I don't know where my dad is.

MEG: It's time for the grown ups to talk Sam, let me speak to him now.

JOHN: This is John.

MEG: Howdy, John. I'm Meg. I'm a friend of your boys. I'm also the one who watched Jim Murphy choke on his own blood. (2 seconds of silence) Still there Johnny-boy?

JOHN: I'm here.

MEG: Well, that was two days ago. Today I'm back home. Do you know who I can see from my bedroom window? She's small and blonde and she's feisty when she's riled.

JOHN: (low whisper) Buffy. (louder) You listen to me. She's got nothing to do with anything! You leave her alone!

MEG: We know you have the Colt, John.

JOHN: I don't know what you're talking about.

MEG: Oh, okay. I guess I'll just pop on over to my new neighbor's house to go say hello.

JOHN: You take one step towards my daughter and I swear I'll—

MEG: We know you have the gun, John. Word travels fast. So as far as we're concerned, you just declared war.

JOHN: I'm gonna kill you, you know that?

MEG: Oh, John, please. Mind your blood pressure. So this is the thing. We're going to go over to that house. We're going to have fun with your little girl and her mommy. Then we're going to start sending them to you, piece by piece. Or you bring us the Colt and we leave Buffy and her mommy alone. (2 seconds of silence) I'm waiting, Johnny! Better answer before the buzzer.

JOHN: Okay.

MEG: Sorry? I didn't quite get that.

JOHN: I said okay, I'll bring you the Colt.

MEG: There's a warehouse in Lincoln, on the corner of Wabash and Lake. You're going to meet me there.

JOHN: It's gonna take me about a day's drive to get there.

MEG: Meet me there at midnight tonight.

JOHN: That's impossible. I can't get there in time and I can't just carry a gun on the plane.

MEG: Oh. Well I guess the kiddo dies anyways. If you do decide to make it, come alone.


(Text conversation between Sam Winchester and Buffy Summers)

SAM: Do you know a Meg

BUFFY: Yeah, sort of. Moved in down the street. Why?

SAM: 3 guys still there are demons. Meg was too

BUFFY: Knew something wasn't right. What do you mean "was"

SAM: She's dead. Well, the woman Meg is dead. We found out how to exorcise the demon

BUFFY: Yeah? Send the 411

SAM: (picture of devil's trap) Draw this on the floor or ceiling. Traps the assholes. Tie them down

BUFFY: Art and bondage, got it

SAM: Then chant this:Exorcizamus te, Omnis Immundus Spiritus, Omnis Satanica Potestas, Omnis Incursio Infernalis Adversarii, Omnis Congregatio et Secta Diabolica, Ergo Draco Maledicte, Ut Ecclesiam Tuam Servire, Tibi Facias Libertate Secura, Te Rogamus, Audi Nos

BUFFY: I don't know how to speak Spanish

SAM: Latin. Get Giles to help

BUFFY: Fine

SAM: Try not to let the body get too hurt. Once the demon's out it's a person again

BUFFY: Person?

SAM: Demons are hitching a ride in regular people. Angel threw a stake in Meg and someone shot her. Demon was the only thing that kept her alive

BUFFY: That sucks

SAM: Yeah I know. Let me know if it goes ok. We're off to rescue dad

BUFFY: Wait, what? Rescue dad? What's going on?

BUFFY: Sam?

BUFFY: Sam?

BUFFY: Sam?

BUFFY: Hello?

BUFFY: Goddamnit one of you text me back!!!!


(Recording of 911 call to Metro Communications Agency)

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Jesus, oh God, I'm on the highway, I–90, mile or two from Valley Springs. I think… I think my truck—Hey! Buddy! Come on, man, please don't be dead!"

"Sir? Was there an accident? I'm sending help to you right now. Are you hurt?"

"No, no, I'm fine. There's… There's three of 'em in a black car, three men, only one's awake and the other two don't look so good. Oh God, did I do this? I don't remember gettin' here! How did I get here?"

"Sir? Are you on drugs? Should I alert emergency personnel to be prepared?"

"No! I'm not on no drugs! I'm just—Hey buddy, no no no! I don't think you should be movin' just yet! The authorities, they're on the way!"

"Okay, sir. Please calm down."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. There's the ambulance. I gotta explain that I didn't know what I was doing! I gotta tell 'em I don't know how I got here—"

(Call cuts abruptly)


(Patient chart by S. Thompson, MD, Sanford Emergency Department, Sioux Falls, South Dakota)

ID: Dean McGillicutty is a 27 yo male who was brought in by ambulance following a MVA (motor vehicle accident). Patient was a restrained driver in a car vs. eighteen-wheeler collision.

Hospital Course: Upon arrival to the ED, the patient was tachycardic, hypotensive, and unresponsive to noxious stimuli. Pupils were pinpoint, with evidence of papilledema on fundoscopic exam. Exam findings at that time also included multiple lacerations to the face and hands, significant bruising to the left abdomen and chest, and a deep laceration along the left mid-clavicular line and fourth intercostal space.

Per protocol, he was intubated. FAST exam was negative, and patient was transported to the CT scanner. CT CAP showed grade II lacerations of the spleen, a contusion in the upper pole of the left kidney, and multiple small pneumothoraces in the left lung, as well as a cardiac contusion. CT Head non contrast showed significant cerebral edema with no signs of bleeding.

Following suturing of his lacerations in the ED, the patient was transferred to the Neurology ICU for further management of his cerebral edema, with Trauma Surgery following.


(Phone call from John Winchester to Buffy Summers)

BUFFY: Hello?

JOHN: Buffy. It's your dad.

BUFFY: Oh. Hi.

JOHN: You got time to talk?

BUFFY: I guess.

JOHN: I know… I know you're probably still mad at me because of what I said. I only said it because I couldn't live with myself if the demon had done you harm.

BUFFY: I could have helped, you know. It's not like I'm just some girl. I'm the Slayer.

JOHN: (short chuckle) Yeah, I guess you are. I never wanted this for you, kid, but fate went and bit you in the ass anyways. (deep sigh) I shoulda told you sooner.

BUFFY: Tell me what? What's going on? Where are you?

JOHN: Nowhere. I just wanted to say that I wish I'd been around more often, seen more of you growing up. But you can tell your mom that she did a good job. You're a fine young lady. Anyone would be proud to call you their daughter.

BUFFY: (quietly) Daddy?

JOYCE: (in the background) Buffy? Is that your father? What's wrong?

JOHN: You contact those brothers of yours whenever you need them, you hear? I'll make sure that they go.

BUFFY: Why? Why do I need to call them and not you? You'd come if I called, right? Right?

JOHN: (1 second of silence) Yeah. Of course, sweetheart. I've gotta go, Buffy. You take care.

BUFFY: What? No! Dad, talk to me! Tell me what this is all about! (click followed by ringtone)


(Phone call from Dean Winchester to Buffy Summers)

BUFFY: Dean! What's going on? Where's dad? Why did he call me like that?

DEAN: Buffy…

BUFFY: He-He-He didn't sound right, he was… Something was wrong and-and he didn't want to tell me where you guys were or what really happened or anything! (whispering) Why did he sound like he was saying goodbye?

DEAN: Dad… He's…

BUFFY: No. No no no no no. You don't say it. Don't you dare say it.

DEAN: Buffy… dad's gone.


Acknowledgement : Some lines of dialogue are taken directly from the episode "Salvation" (SPN 1.21).

Author's Note : Credit for Dean's chart goes to Authoressinhiding.