(11/6/2016) Just wanted to put the reminder out there that I'm messing up the Supernatural timeline. Like, a lot, at least for seasons 2 and 3.
Thank you RHatch89, IoSolUno, and thedarkpokemaster for the reviews! And pizza for all you new favoriters and followers!
(Lyrics by Robert Johnson, blues guitarist and singer, recorded in 1937. The following year he would die in the middle of a performance. Unconfirmed witnesses swear it looked as if he'd been savaged by some kind of wild animal.)
Crossroad Blues
I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
I went to the crossroads, fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above, have mercy now, save poor Bob if you please
Standin' at the crossroads, tried to flag a ride
Whee-hee, I tried to flag a ride
Didn't nobody seem to know me, everybody pass me by
Standin' at the crossroads, risin' sun goin' down
Standin' at the crossroads baby, the risin' sun goin' down
I believe to my soul now, po' Bob is sinkin' down
You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
You can run, you can run, tell my friend Willie Brown
That I got the crossroad blues this mornin', Lord, baby I'm sinkin' down
NPR Hourly Newscast
JANINE: Live from NPR news in Washington I'm Janine Phan. A bank standoff in Milwaukee has ended with three fatalities and the escape of two suspects. David Grant from WUWM Milwaukee has the details.
DAVID: The City Bank of Milwaukee was taken over yesterday near closing by Ronald Reznick, an employee of the nearby Milwaukee National Trust, who locked the front doors and held both customers and bank employees at gunpoint. There are conflicting reports as to the role of his two co-conspirators, but the FBI has identified them as brothers Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester, once thought to be deceased, is the suspect of several murders and believed to be armed and dangerous. Their whereabouts are currently unknown.
(Phone call from Joyce Summers to Dean Winchester)
DEAN: Hello?
JOYCE: Dean, it's Joyce.
DEAN: Uh… hey! How's it going?
JOYCE: There's a poster in the post office. Again. Only now there's both of you on there. Not to mention that the FBI pulled Buffy out of class to question her! What in the world is going on?
DEAN: Uh… shit. (harsh whisper) Sam! Help me!
SAM: (whisper) Who is it?
DEAN: (whisper) Joyce!
SAM (whisper) Shit. (into the phone) Hey, Joyce.
JOYCE: I'm assuming you know why I'm calling.
SAM: Would you trust me if I said that it really, really, wasn't what it seemed?
JOYCE: Maybe. Just tell me what happened.
SAM: There was this guy, this–this really messed up guy. He took the whole bank hostage and me and Dean, we pretended to be his friend so he wouldn't hurt anyone.
JOYCE: And?
SAM: The authorities didn't want to believe us, so we ran.
JOYCE: (heavy sigh) Oh for goodness sake. Wouldn't the other people have vouched for you?
SAM: Wouldn't have made a difference. There's this guy, Henriksen? He's already made up his mind about our guilt. Just… if he shows up there, just please don't tell him where we're at.
JOYCE: Well, since I actually don't know where that is I don't have to pretend.
SAM: I'm really sorry, Joyce.
DEAN: (in the background) I'm sorry too!
JOYCE: Fine. But you boys stay away from Buffy until this clears up, got it?
SAM: Don't worry. We were planning to anyways.
JOYCE: All right. Be careful out there.
SAM: Bye, Joyce.
(Phone call from Buffy Summers to Dean Winchester)
DEAN: Hey Buff'. What's up?
BUFFY: Do you know someone named Gordon Walker?
DEAN: Stay away from him.
BUFFY: Well, duh, we figured that out pretty quick. He was here.
DEAN: Is everyone okay?
SAM: (in the background) What happened?
DEAN: (to Sam) Gordon showed up in Sunnydale. (to Buffy) Well?
BUFFY: Luckily, yeah. He was following Spike.
DEAN: Wait. Hold on a sec. When did that bleach blonde asshole get there?
SAM: (in the background) Who? Spike?
DEAN: (to Sam) Hold on. (call placed on speakerphone) There.
BUFFY: Yeah, Spike. He and Dru… Drusilla turned up a couple days ago. You guys, he's a lot worse than we thought.
SAM: How so?
BUFFY: (deep sigh) Turns out he's old. Like, over a hundred. He's faced two Slayers and he's killed them both.
DEAN: We're in Colorado. We can be there tomorrow.
BUFFY: No, no don't. I can handle it. Besides, we still haven't found where he's holed up. I'd rather you make sure this Gordon guy doesn't show up again.
SAM: Yeah, well, he's obsessed with killing vampires and you live on Vampire Central.
BUFFY: Got that vibe pretty quick. He almost staked Angel.
DEAN: Good.
SAM: Dean…
DEAN: Fine, fine, whatever, Angel's got a freaking halo now or something. Anyways, Gordon shows up again you call us right away.
BUFFY: Will do. Love you guys!
SAM: Love you too, Buffy.
(Invocation spoken by Ethan Rayne to Janus, god of chaos)
The world that denies thee, thou inhabit.
The peace that ignores thee, thou corrupt.
Chaos. I remain, as ever, thy faithful, degenerate son.
(Response from Janus)
Yo, Ethan, my man! I'm kinda busy, but I guess I can make an exception. Besides, these two chuckleheads are driving each other crazy even without my help. Love the floofy dress on that Slayer over there. Take her down a few pegs, eh?
(Conversation between Real Estate Agent Stephanie Parsons and a prospective buyer)
"…And compared to other places in Southern California, Sunnydale properties are relatively cheap. For this price you wouldn't be able to get even a studio up in Santa Barbara."
"I'll take it."
"Well, um, it's California law, but I have to disclose to you that the previous owners, the Fogerty's? Their son found their bodies in the attic. They'd been… um, they'd been there for… well… it's all been cleaned up and there's nothing else wrong with the home."
"Doesn't bother me."
"Which is why their children as selling it so cheap—oh. Oh really? You're sure?"
"Yeah. Cash good?"
"Yes. Cash is… cash is very good. I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?"
"Ruby. The name's Ruby."
(Phone call from Sam Winchester to Rupert Giles)
GILES: Hello?
SAM: Hey, Giles, it's Sam. I've been calling all day. Do you not have a cell phone?
GILES: I've done quite well without one up until now.
SAM: Uh, okay. Listen, we caught wind of some witch named Ethan Rayne. He's heading for Sunnydale looking for a dude named "Ripper"? (3 seconds of silence) Giles? You still there?
GILES: Um, yes-yes, of course. Ethan just doesn't know how to stay away, I suppose. He was here around Halloween. Made a right mess of everything.
SAM: Yeah, that sounds like the right guy. Who's this "Ripper" dude?
GILES: Well… Well that's me.
SAM: Excuse me?
GILES: (annoyed sigh) Some of us have had the luxury to outgrow our wrongheadedness. Perhaps your brother will be lucky enough to be given that chance. Regardless, it's sufficient to say that I know why he's coming.
SAM: Okay. You need any help?
GILES: No no no. We'll be perfectly fine. You two be careful out there.
SAM: We will. Call me if you change your mind.
GILES: Yes, of course. Goodbye.
(From the journal of Samuel Colt)
September 20, 1859. Finally lay down the last border to the devil's trap. Shot two demons trying to stop me. Good thing the key's the gun.
(Start of the 5pm television newscast from station KCWY)
Good evening. Residents of Casper, Lamont, Waltman, and the surrounded areas called 911 late last night after a large plume of black smoke was seen in the air. Firefighters pinpointed its origin to Calvary Cemetery, a graveyard that has been abandoned since 1922. The source of the smoke has yet to be determined but authorities assure residents that there was no sign of a fire or explosion.
In other news…
(Phone call from ? to Bela Talbot)
BELA: Yes?
?: Bela Talbot?
BELA: It depends on who's calling.
?: A potential customer, love. I hear you're the proper one to call if I have something that needs retrieving.
BELA: For the right price.
?: Good. Got a job for you. Have here a book that needs translating. Key's a gold cross, buried in the crypt of—
BELA: Josephus du Lac. I'd heard his book was found somewhere over the Hellmouth. I can get it for you, but what's my incentive?
?: There's a Watcher here. Fancy little ponce has a whole bloody library of rare books. I'll show you where.
BELA: I'll need proof. Normally I take cash that's been placed quite lovingly in large briefcases.
?: Bloody hell… You can have du Lac's bleeding novel when we're done with it! Just get me that key!
BELA: Send me a photo of the volume and I'm yours. (call ends) I hate dealing with vampires.
(Phone call from Sam Winchester to Buffy Summers)
SAM: Buffy.
BUFFY: (mimicking a low, gravelly voice) Sam. (normal tone) What's up? You guys finally coming by?
SAM: Yes. Dean has something to tell you.
BUFFY: Okay, and he's not on the phone because…? (3 seconds of silence) Hello?
SAM: (harsh whisper) Tell her!
DEAN: (harsh whisper) Why're we doing this right now?
SAM: (harsh whisper) If you won't tell her I will! (into the phone) Buffy, Dean—
DEAN: (in the background) Don't you fucking dare! (scrapes and thumps) Give me that. (into the phone) Buffy, we're coming by. We're in Wyoming. It's gonna take a day or so.
BUFFY: Oh no you don't, you—(call ends) Oh that's it, Mr. Stupid-Monkey-Butthead. I'm egging your car when you get here.
Author's Note : Scrambled seasons, like scrambled eggs. Hope that the two "mystery" people were identifiable…
Ran up against the whole "made up for story purposes" thing with Calvary Cemetery; nonexistent in Wyoming. I did find out there's a city called Wyoming in Michigan that does have one. That's not confusing or anything.
