(11/19/2016) One more paper and class is dooone! Until February. Stupid Master's capstone class grumble grumble grumble.

Part of the way Supernatural monsters work is that they're based on "real" mythological creatures, as opposed to Buffy ones that can have a free for all kind of origin. I went searching for something to correlate to the Order of Taraka members and discovered that there aren't a whole lot of cultures out there that make up human/bug monsters. Go fig.

Thank you IoSolUno, RHatch89 (of the one word posts ;) ), thedarkpokemaster, jkmp28, and my first mystery guest for the reviews! And all you favoriters and followers: drop a line and you get yummy yummy cookies!


"The Order of Taraka? Are you sure?"

"That's what he said," Buffy replied. Her Watcher immediately headed for the stack of old books that seemed to perpetually live on the main table and pulled one out.

As it was the weekend the school was relatively empty. A few miscreants were enduring Saturday school and the janitors were helping the infrastructure recover from a week of teenage abuse, but otherwise they were alone. Buffy had purposely neglected to tell her friends what she and her brothers were up to; with a pack of assassins about she had no intention of letting them become collateral damage.

"So who are these guys?" Dean asked.

"They're very, very dangerous," Giles replied. "We should consider somewhere Buffy may hide to be safe."

"We're here," scoffed the eldest hunter. "Can't imagine what could get past all three of us."

"They're a breed apart, Dean," the Watcher said grimly. "Unlike vampires they have no earthly desire but to collect their bounty. They find a target, and… and they eliminate it." He looked worriedly at his Slayer. "You can kill as many of them as you like, it won't make any difference. Where there's one, there will be another, and another. They won't stop coming until the job is done."

"So then we get them first," Buffy said firmly. "How do they work?"

Sam nodded in agreement. "If we can figure out what their method is we can cut them off ahead of time."

"It's not that simple," said Giles. "Each one of them works alone. His own way. Some are human, some… well, are not. You won't know who they are until they strike."

"Awesome," Dean remarked dryly. "Now what?"

"Again I must ask: is there somewhere you can take your sister? At least until we can find out who hired them."

"Now wait one second—" Buffy started to say.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sam asked rolling over the girl's objections. "It's got to be Spike."

"I don't want to—"

"We stake that dick then the contract goes away?" Dean cut across his sister.

"In essence," answered Giles as Buffy cried out, "Hey!" He continued with, "If the employer is gone then the contract should be null and void."

"'Should'? For fuck's sake, Jeeves, this is Buffy's life we're talking about!"

"Yes, something I'm well aware of, thank you very much. It is, in fact, something that I've been looking after for more than just a few months!"

With their nerves wracked over the threat to Buffy's life, Dean and Giles' ability to be civil towards one another eroded. Their conversation soon degraded into a shouting match over whose duty it was to protect the Slayer. Irritated, Sam stood to physically separate the two but his sister got there first, her shrieks of, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" piercing through the din.

Her Watcher and her brother quieted immediately and stared, nonplussed, down at the Slayer. The look of stubborn determination on her face was familiar to all three men present; it usually preceded a statement of intent that Buffy wouldn't be swayed from.

They weren't wrong in their assessment. "I'm not going anywhere," she declared. "We need to find Spike." She focused on Dean. "Bela."

"Ugh," he groaned. "Do we have to?"

Eyebrows lifted, Buffy told him, "Uh, yes?"

"What?" a bewildered Giles asked. "What's going on?"

The siblings realized that they had begun their meeting with the Watcher with what they believed to be most important, the killers that were coming to town, and had neglected to detail fully the events of the previous night. Buffy quickly informed him about the thief, the crypt, the cross, and how Spike supposedly tied into the whole debacle. "Good Lord," Giles said, aghast. "Josephus du Lac?"

Sam acknowledged the query. "Bobby told us he'd been excommunicated, that he thought vampires were holy."

"Yes, well, as everything we know points to the contrary I can understand why du Lac was thought to be quite mad." The Watcher removed his glasses and gave them a cleaning on the corner of his sweater. "Towards the end, however, it is said that he had begun to see the error of his ways. He purged all copies of his book and cross except the originals."

"So," Dean said pensively, "we burn the book and smash the cross then Spike's got nothing to cure his crazy girlfriend and nothing keeping his bleach blonde ass here."

"Correct."

"Sounds like a plan to me." The eldest brother looked expectantly at his siblings. They both nodded.

"Back to the hospital?" asked Sam. The trio gathered themselves and prepared to leave.

"I'll come too," Giles announced. "If anything I want to find out if this is the same Bela Talbot that stole artifacts from the Watcher's Council. Right under their stuffy little noses, no less."


Bela was rightfully wary when the three siblings and the Watcher walked into her room. "Now what?" she groused.

"We need you to tell us where Spike is," said Sam.

"Sorry, no clue."

Tired of dealing with the woman's lies, Dean reached into his jacket for his pistol. Buffy stopped him by elbowing him hard in the side. "Guns bad!" she hissed.

"No, guns good!" her brother retorted.

After giving Dean an exasperated glance Giles addressed the thief. "Bela Talbot, I assume?"

"Who's asking?"

"Rupert Giles of the Watcher's Council."

The siblings were greatly intrigued by the blood draining from Bela's face and the rising rapidity of her heart monitor. "You have no legal jurisdiction away from Britain."

"Quite so," Giles replied as he adjusted his glasses. "However, as you very well know the right words in the right ears and none of that will mean a bloody thing."

"The books are gone. Nothing I can do can bring them back!"

"That's a shame. You see, some of my fellow Watchers were very disturbed to know that those texts are now circulating among the magical community. They desperately wanted to question you about it." He pulled out his cell phone. "Now that I've pinpointed your whereabouts…"

As the Watcher began scrolling down his contacts list Bela cried, "Wait! Wait! All right! He's in an abandoned factory. North end of town. You can't miss it; it's the only one without a 'for sale' sign in front."

"Thank you," Giles said as he pocketed his phone. "Good day."

The siblings, bemused, followed the man from the room and out the door. "Giles," Buffy began hesitantly, "what was that?"

"A rather good bluff on my part, I must say."

Sam burst out laughing and even Dean had himself a small chuckle. "Dude," snorted the younger brother, "that was awesome."

"So did she steal from you guys?" asked Dean.

"Yes," answered the Watcher, "but the books she stole weren't nearly as dangerous as I made them out to be. I was counting on her not having actually read through them other than to verify their titles."

"So what now?" Buffy wondered.

Giles sighed. "I think it would be best that we discover which of the Order has arrived before we rush in."

"What for?" Dean asked impatiently. "We got every weapon for every known monster out there in the trunk."

Giles shook his head. "The Order of Taraka is old , Dean. Plus, it originated somewhere in Europe or Asia."

"So they might be things we've never even seen before," Sam surmised, "or things we never even knew existed."

"Unfortunately, yes."


They were in the library still trying to pin down possible members of the Order when evening fell. Sam had hacked into the local bus terminal's security footage and was going through the past few days worth of comings and goings; Dean was surfing the web for oddities around the area; and Buffy was keeping a physical lookout for intruders.

As her mother was on a plane to Paris doing work for her gallery the Slayer didn't consider her to be in any immediate danger. After all, if someone wanted to use Joyce as a lure then she'd have to be close enough for Buffy to retrieve. Willow, Xander, and (quite grudgingly) Cordelia had no such luck. As such, they were also in the library. Willow was learning illicit computer techniques from Sam; Xander was keeping watch with Buffy; and Cordelia was… being Cordelia.

"How much longer are we stuck here?" she complained. "I could be out right now. You know, with friends?"

"Go ahead, Cordelia," Xander said as he pointed at the back exit. "We won't stop you. Have fun getting murdered!" The haughty girl sneered then contended herself with pouting in silence.

Suddenly a rather lewd, feminine giggle erupted from Dean's laptop. The others stared as he slapped it closed and tried to look nonchalant. "What?"

"Ew," Buffy said.

"Dude," Sam groaned. "Seriously?"

"Hey, I got bored," Dean explained. "There's absolutely jack and shit that points to these Taraka guys."

Giles, who had been flipping through book after book in mounting frustration, sighed tiredly. "As much as I hate to admit it your brother is right, Buffy. I think we might have to form a new plan."

"I've got one," Angel said from the library doors.

Dean glared at the new arrival. "Is this a thing you do?" he complained. "Arrive out of nowhere like freaking Batman?"

"We use Buffy as bait," the vampire continued, ignoring Dean. "She's the one they're after."

"No!" exclaimed Dean and Giles.

"Okay," agreed Buffy and Sam.

"What?" cried Dean and Giles.

"It's not like she's going to be by herself," Sam explained. "Plus, we're going to be the ones getting the jump on them, not the other way around."

"What he said," Buffy tacked on.

"Does that mean we can leave?" Cordelia asked.

"I'd rather none of you were alone," Giles admonished.

"I live in a large house in a closed community with cameras and security guards," scoffed the cheerleader. "I'm never alone."

The Watcher sighed and acquiesced. "What about the two of you?"

Xander and Willow exchanged glances. The red-headed girl then looked pleadingly at Buffy. "Can we stay at your place? With, you know, you and your brothers with the guns?"

"Sure," the blonde replied. "So!" she said to Angel. "How are we doing this?"

He smiled at her. "I have an idea. I know you'll like it."


The entire group left at once. After Cordelia had sped off in her Mercedes, the rest of them, sans Giles, piled into the Impala. The Watcher said he would follow in his car, a derelict 1963 Citroen DS varnished in scraped gray. Dean stared at it in disbelief. "That thing moves?"

"Why wouldn't it?" Giles responded, honestly perplexed.

"Uh, never mind."

Buffy's eldest brother maneuvered her into the middle of the front seat with a pointed glower at Angel then left the others to fend for themselves in the back. As soon as they were all settled they drove to Revello Drive.

Once there, Buffy let her friends and Giles inside and invited them to get comfortable. Sam and Dean armed them as best they could with one of every type of weapon they could think of (salt rounds, silver blade, iron blade, stakes, semiautomatic pistol, machete) and salted the doors and windows. They drew a devil's trap in chalk behind the front and back doors, affirmed that the three wouldn't be leaving the house, and drove off to the local ice skating rink.

Dean once again manipulated the seating, but rather than cram in the front with his siblings Sam squeezed himself into the back. Despite her elder brother's obvious (and annoying) misgivings over her choice in boyfriends, Buffy bounced up and down in unrestrained glee. "I haven't done this in forever. Remember, Sam? My Dorothy Hamill phase?"

"Jesus, I almost forgot," he laughed. "You made your mom buy you those leotards…"

"Wait wait wait, hold up," Dean interjected. "When was this?"

"I dunno, you were what," Sam asked his sister, "eight? Nine? Found those old tapes of the Olympics and wouldn't stop watching them."

"So why don't I remember?"

Buffy poked her eldest brother on the shoulder. "Because you found out about boobs."

"Ah," Dean answered wistfully. "Boobs do trump tiny blonde midgets."

By the time they arrived at the skating rink it had been closed for the night. Dean picked the locks while Sam disarmed the security system. "Your brothers do that often I take it," Angel remarked.

"Eh," Buffy shrugged. "Now you know our secret: we're really a family of dastardly thieves."

The vampire gave her an amused smirk and followed Sam and Dean inside. They flipped the lights while Buffy selected the correct size skates. "Aren't you going to join me?" she asked her boyfriend.

Angel eyed the bladed shoes uneasily. "Not this time."

She gave him a peck on the nose. "Fine. Let me show you my stuff."

The brothers signaled to the other pair that they were off to hide and Buffy slide onto the ice. She started out easy, doing laps forwards, and then backwards, around the rink. As her confidence grew she decided to see how much she could remember from her childhood lessons.

Half an hour in and Buffy forgot the whole reason behind the excursion. While Sam, Dean, and Angel kept watch, the Slayer spun and leapt in a rare moment of carefree abandon. With one leg poised behind her, she swung around into a spin… and fell flat on her butt.

Buffy slid across the ice into the wall, rolling her eyes at her mistake. She grasped the edge to pull herself up and felt a stranger's strong, gloved hand clamp down on her wrist. It pulled her up and she found herself gaping at a grizzly, scarred face with a black patch over its right eye. The Slayer had just enough time to register Slavic features under a rough brown beard before he reached back and punched her in the face.

Buffy fell back hard onto the ice and slid several feet away. Gunshots rang out at the same time that Angel cried her name and tackled her assailant. She scrambled to her feet in time to see her boyfriend being whacked on the side of the head by what looked like a thick wooden pole. Her attacker swung the staff around to reveal a cruel blade attached to the other end. Before he could stab it through Angel's prone form, Dean fired a warning shot right past the man's ear and shouted, "Hey! Eyes here, you dick!"

"You okay?" Sam asked Buffy as he joined his brother in holding the stranger at gunpoint.

"Fine," she replied, annoyed. She skated over near the glaring, spear-wielding man and helped Angel to his feet.

Buffy's attacker spat a stream of German at her, the tone decidedly hostile. "No comprendo," she answered.

While palming the cut on his demonically warped brow, Angel translated, "His name is Hagen. He just promised to kill the Slayer."

"Order of Taraka, I take it," said Sam. At the name of his organization, Hagen let out a short, derisive chuckle.

"Tell One-Eyed Willy here to give up his coworkers," Dean instructed Angel.

The vampire gave Dean's request to Hagen who responded by laughing uproariously. After another flow of vitriolic German, Angel grimaced. "He said no."

"All that was just 'no'?" Buffy asked incredulously.

Before further clarification could be made, Hagen roared out and charged the Slayer. He fell to her brothers' bullets a moment later.

"Crap," Dean cursed quietly as he toed the bleeding body. "I think this guy was human."

Sam knelt down beside the corpse as Dean tried to shield his sister from the sight. On one meaty hand the younger brother discovered an intricately carved metal ring. He pulled it off and held it up for Angel to see. "Got any idea if this is important?"

The vampire's face had reverted to normal. He gritted his teeth as he replied. "Definitely the Order."

Sam pocketed the jewelry. "Let's get out of here. Someone probably heard those shots."


"By all accounts, Hagen was not the first Hagen," Giles said pedantically after they'd returned to Buffy's home and filled the rest of them in on the success of their plan. "Rather the name was bestowed upon him."

"By whom?" asked Sam.

"An isolated Germanic tribe that still follows the old gods. From what I've read, only the fiercest warrior among them could be called 'Hagen.' The recipient then blinds themselves in one eye and dedicates his life to violence." The Watcher adjusted his glasses pensively. "I suppose the Order of Taraka is as good as anything if all you're after is killing."

"Well, at least I'm not the only one in the world getting all chose-y," Buffy remarked. "But I get to keep both my eyeballs, so yay for me!"

"S-So how many Tarakas usually come at once?" Willow asked.

"I have no idea," said Giles.

"We keep watch in shifts," Dean suggested.

While the others arranged sentry duty, Xander's phone buzzed. He answered it and strode into the stairwell to speak. A few minutes later he cut through the discussion. "Guys, Cordelia's coming over."

"Oh, goodie," deadpanned Willow.

"What for?" asked Buffy.

"Apparently she watched her neighbor's dog get eaten alive by bugs. Then said bugs came together like Voltron to make Bug-Man. Coo-coo-ca-choo."

"Awesome," Dean said dryly. "What do we do to fight that? Get a ginormous shoe?"

"I'll call Bobby," Sam suggested. He pulled out his phone and walked into the kitchen.

Angel, who had accompanied them back to the house rather than pull his normal vanishing act, announced, "I'm going out, see if I can find out any more."

"From who?" Buffy asked.

"Willy."

"Ick." The Slayer gazed worriedly up at the vampire. "Be careful." He leaned down to kiss her gently on the top of her head before leaving.

"Willy?" asked Dean.

"He owns, um, Willy's," Willow explained. "Lots of non-human customers."

"Nice." Buffy's eldest brother gave an enormous, tired sigh. "Well, we got a long night. Wake me up when it's my turn."

The others agreed and separated to make themselves comfortable and await their shifts. Willow and Xander had the first one and the TV blipped on. They bickered light heartedly over what to watch before settling on a Lord of the Rings marathon. When Cordelia arrived, too wired to sleep due to the horrifying scene she'd witnessed, she was roped into joining them.

It was going to be a long, long weekend.


Acknowledgement : Some lines of dialogue are taken directly from the episodes "What's My Line, Part 1" (BtVS 2.09) and "What's My Line, Part 2" (BtVS 2.10).

Author's Note : Hagen/Hagano/Hogni is a figure from German mythology that was apparently one eyed and angry. Felt it fit even though supposedly the dude has his head chopped off at the end of his tale. Supernatural = never what you really expect it to be, yeah?

Also, historically being multilingual wasn't really that big of a deal in Europe. I figure Angel was about for long enough he'd have picked up German along the way.

My kiddo is obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas lately. Kinda made bugman into a combo of Oogie Boogie and those scarabs from The Mummy because… why not? Ewwwww.