AN: Ok, apologies for the delay everybody. I just got word today, I'm set to start work in a new town on Monday, so I should really be packing like crazy right now. The hours are probably going to be very long, so I don't know how well I'll be able to stick to even a bi-weekly schedule for the next few months since from what I've heard everyone on this new job site has been going balls to the wall, seventy hours a week or more for months and it shows no signs of letting up anytime soon. I'll still try to update with some regularity, but please bear with me if I can't.

With that out of the way, let's get to the fun stuff! Reviewer Replies!

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Raidentensho: Nope, no meeting of the Saints this week. I think you'll enjoy what I've got cooked up though. Glad you're still enjoying! :D

Beruit: Yeah, Vulcans are definitely a case of extreme fridge horror. I'm glad you enjoyed seeing Jerry get rewarded for his heroics. It honestly caught me quite off guard. I'd initially intended for Mystogan to get that spot, but since it's canon that Erza would've been made a posthumous member if she had died to stop the R-System and Jerry put that on ice, sounded the alarm to get reinforcements to the Magic Council and stop the Etherion, helped save two train loads of civilians and then went and exterminated the Vulcans, it seemed quite appropriate for him to get it. As always very glad you're enjoying, and thank you for the well wishes.

AnimeMyWorld: So glad you like, more fluff you say? Hmmm...not much this chapter, probably not next chapter, but maybe the chapter after that...(goes to check schedule) Yep! Chapter after next is slated to have a pretty fair bit of fluffy heartwarming goodness.

Ask-if-I-like-lemons: In response to your review on Chapter 3, if you've made it this far then you've surely realized by now that what he had access to then was really only the very most basic functions of his magic, and his cards are as Erza pointed out, rather more on the side of HOLY SHIT HOW DID YOU GET THOSE?! than not. And since I really can't just let a username like that go without asking, DO you like lemons?

And now, on with the show!

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Chapter 40: Laxus

==8 Days Later, October 14th==

It was a normal day like any other, except not. It was in fact the day before a rather important day for the Fairy Tail Guild. Tomorrow was Magnolia's annual Harvest Festival, which meant Fairy Tail's Fantasia Parade that evening. It was a massive event which would normally take weeks of planning. Thanks to that wonderful little every day miracle we call magic, we were able to whip it up the day before with only a little bit of effort and collaboration.

Floats would normally take a lot of time, but for a guild of wizards and with the colorful variety of characters that inhabited it (that is the politest way I know to say 'insane asylum for the magically gifted'), dozens of floats were produced in the span of a few hours. They came in numerous shapes and sizes, but all would fit down Magnolia's streets along the route.

Costumes were a piece of cake with transformation magic and propulsion was no issue either. We had numerous telekinetic wizards and propelling well made wheels with it required barely a touch.

Many float themes were hammered out with ease and many of the teams easily put their heads together to come up with show routines for the floats. Cana was teaming up with Macao and Wakaba for a circus themed float, Mira and Elfman were going to have a castle themed float to themselves with Elfman as a fearsome beast guarding the beautiful princess Mira. I'd gotten a special sneak peak of the dresses Mira and Cana were wearing, and they'd managed to reduce me to a stammering stuttering wreck in seconds. They'd been quite pleased with themselves over that.

There was also the Miss Fairy Tail Contest going on, which I had elected quite firmly to keep my nose way the hell out and away from since Mira, Cana and Erza were competing. Mira pouted at me ever so slightly when I told her that, and I pointed out that I couldn't root for any of them without hurting the others' feelings or having my cheers be rendered largely invalid by cheering for all of them. "Besides," I added with a grin, "You win every year right?"

Mira huffed lightly with a small smile, "This would be three years running, yes. I think I might actually throw it this year though."

I looked at her in surprise and she just grinned, "Normally I just swap into whichever bikini I think is the cutest and let the star power and practice do the work. I think everyone else has cottoned onto that trick now though, so I bet everyone's going to be doing it. Unless you just want me to be strutting my stuff for the entire town to see," she added with a teasing grin.

I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to me as I guided her jaw up for a kiss and grinned, "If showing off will make you happy, then I want the entire world drooling over you…" I kissed her and when we came up with a grin, "And if anyone comes within a mile of laying a hand on you, I hope you understand that I will beat them into a stain on the floor." I let that hang in the air for a second and then amended, "Unless it's Cana or Erza or some other girl you want to have fun with. That I don't mind."

Mira teasingly pouted at me, "Oh, but what if I want a guy to touch me?"

My eye twitched and I'll admit, I almost got upset even though I knew she didn't mean it. Then I got it under control and transformed through a dozen different faces in rapid succession before settling back on my usual form as I pulled her a little closer to whisper in her ear, "Tell me. I can be anybody." I used my telekinesis to mimic the feeling of arms wrapping around her from behind as I used a tiny Archive speaker to add quietly in her other ear, "I can even be everybody if that's what you want. If you need an army to satisfy you, I can be that. Just please," I added as I laid my forehead to hers, "let me and not somebody else okay? I don't think my poor old heart could take being replaced."

Mira's eyes went wide in shock and then she started laughing as she wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a kiss that made me want to teleport us to a bed, mine, hers, any bed, and get. It. ON. When she finally let me breathe, she cupped my face in her hands and gave me the most loving smile I could've ever hoped for, "I have the best boyfriend in the world, why would I ever want anyone else?"

Cana cleared her throat a moment into the rather extensive tongue kissing that followed, "Not that that's not hot as fuck, but we are still in the middle of the Guild Hall you know." She casually took a drink as Mira and I looked around and blushed faintly as we realized that people were starting to stare.

I shrugged and then declared loudly with a grin, "I regret absolutely nothing about this. Carry on everybody." I went right back to kissing Mira as she giggled, but we did break it up a moment or two later so Mira could get back to serving drinks.

The happy buzz lasted a few minutes and then my overwhelming social anxiety crashed back over me like a wave and I slumped over the bar, "What. The hell. Am I gonna do for the parade?"

Cana snickered at me, "Better come up with something soon, your holiness."

"Don't bring that up!" I hissed. The whole Wizard Saint thing still had me wanting to curl up into a ball and roll around in a ball of screaming panic, freaking straight the hell out because I was so not ready for that! I damn sure wasn't anyone fit to be called a saint! Where the hell was Amakusa-sensei when I needed him?!

Master had noticed the dazed look I'd been sporting for most of the rest of that day and just chuckled, patted me on the back and told me I'd do fine. Mira was absolutely overjoyed and outright gushing with pride. Everyone else was congratulating me. Everyone except for Cana, Gajeel and Juvia. Gajeel and Juvia both actually cottoned on to my discomfort after we'd gotten all the Vulcans' victims home safely and tried to reassure me, which helped. They didn't know me quite as well as Gabe and Julie had, but they were still close enough to be very comforting presences.

When Cana noticed it, she just smirked and dragged me to the wine cellar to ah, distract me and get my mind off of it. It had worked very effectively, but sadly it hadn't really solved the problem so much as postponed it. Now she just mercilessly teased me over it, which I knew was her own way of trying to help me get used to the idea, but didn't make it any more pleasant.

The reason it was valid at this particular moment was because Master had informed me pretty nonchalantly that since I was more than a bit of a celebrity now, I'd be expected to do something like a float for the parade. The problem? I had absolutely no idea what to do.

I sat back and looked up at the sky, noting with no small amount of displeasure that it was already late afternoon and I'd still come up with exactly jack. I growled discontentedly, Why couldn't this just be as easy as building a friggin' village? That wasn't hard at… My eyes went wide and I sat bolt upright, "The parade route ends at the Guild Hall right?"

Cana looked at me in surprise, "Yeah, you figured something out?"

I grinned, "Maybe. Where's Master?"


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==That Night==

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It was nearly midnight and I was rather exhausted as I dragged myself home, it hadn't been easy preparations. Getting it ready was one thing, getting it ready in secret was another matter altogether. I'd had to wait until everyone had gone home to prepare it.

"Dude, hurry up before someone sees us!"

I froze and turned invisible, immediately flattening myself against the corner before peering around it and then teleporting back a few blocks when I felt the power of two wizards in front of my apartment. I listened in via portal and felt the color leave my face. Then it came back in force and I'm certain I turned as red as Erza's hair.

One truly EPIC curb stomping later, the two Phantom Lord members who had been trying to set up flashbangs to disrupt the parade were trying to mumble apologies through thoroughly broken faces as they scrubbed the runes off the street. The instant I was sure it was gone and had checked with Archive to make sure they hadn't prepared any other surprises for us, I punted them through a portal slam into the middle of their Guild Hall.

I brushed my hands off, crossed my arms and snorted, "Douchebags." I turned to head home and…

Then I felt it. Malice so strong and vicious that at first I thought there was a monster heading for town. I turned towards it and my eyes went wide, No…no animal packs THAT MUCH hate…

I reached out with my telepathy and scanned the area, Who is that?

I flew up high, turned invisible and teleported over close enough to see who that was standing on the cliff overlooking the west side of town. I was surprised to see Laxus and three other wizards waiting for me. I frowned as I sensed the magic power collected in that spot, the four of them together added up to my whole team. More pressingly though, the instant I reappeared, one of them looked straight at me.

"You might as well show yerself buddy!" The helmeted wizard called, "I can see your soul and my babies are lookin' fer some fun!"

My heart skipped a beat, "COUSIN RICK?!" I floated down, dropping my invisibility as the helmeted wizard paused in surprise and Laxus and the other two looked up in surprise.

The helmeted wizard pointed to himself, "Me? Uh, my name's Bickslow. Have you got me confused for someone else?"

My heart skipped another beat and I grinned, "Take off the helmet! Lemme see your face!"

"Uh dude, that's not a good idea," Bickslow protested, "If you look me in the eye then…"

"What color is your hair?" I asked as I snatched off my hat and pointed at my head, "Blue? Like mine?!"

Bickslow paused in surprise, "Uh, yeah actually…"

"And were your parents names any variation of John Lowe and Mary Lowe?" I asked excitedly.

Bickslow's face went slack and he yanked his helmet off to glare at me prompting Laxus and the other two to gape in shock, "Ok, who the hell are you?"

I threw my hands in the air in excitement as my hunch was confirmed, "IT IS YOU! HAHAAA!" I lunged forward and caught him in a hug, "I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN YOU CRAZY PYRO!" I picked him up with a little help from my telekinesis and spun him around laughing excitedly, "I'M YOUR AUNT SOPHIA'S SON!"

"WAIT! SERIOUSLY?!" Bickslow demanded, "AND PUT ME DOWN!"

I put him down and grinned as he looked at me in confusion. He looked at Laxus and the other two pointing to me and himself and back, "Guys? Do you see any resemblance?" I let my grin spread as wide as it could go and they all stared at us.

"Oh gods there's two of him…" Freed whispered in horror.

"What the hell?" Laxus breathed.

Bickslow's jaw dropped, "THAT MUCH?!"

"Technically I'm the alternate dimension version of your cousin," I clarified, "But yeah, that much. Until he hit his growth spurt, people used to think we were twins any time we were in the same place."

Bickslow turned to me jerkily and asked me in an utterly haunted voice, "J-Jelly?"

"Again, parallel universe version. I'm Jerry not Jelly," I shrugged, "The one you're referring to is currently languishing in a maximum security prison cell probably not recovering very well if at all from the absolute ass kicking of a lifetime for trying to revive Zeref."

"WHAT?!" Bickslow demanded and I snapped my eyes closed as I sensed power flooding his eyes.

"You heard me," I replied evenly, "I'm about the closest available unless you wanna go talk to Mystogan. How have you not heard about this?"

"Yer tellin' me, that my cousin, who was like a brother to me, went crazy, and tried to revive motherfuckin' Zeref, and you're his alternate universe counterpart?!" Bickslow demanded.

"Yep," I replied calmly, waiting for the undoubtedly furiously disbelieving reaction.

"THAT'S AWESOME!" Bickslow exclaimed excitedly before grabbing me up in a hug every bit as enthusiastic as the one I'd had him in a moment earlier, "THAT TOTALLY EXPLAINS WHY YOUR SOUL LOOKS SO FAMILIAR! YA GOTTA TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT! YOU SAID YOU'RE FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE? WHAT WAS IT LIKE? WHAT WAS I LIKE?! COME ON MAN DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN!"

As he set me down I wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "I'll tell ya all about it! But first," I cracked an eye, "There was somebody over here giving off an aura of hate so strong I could feel it from halfway across town. I don't know who, I don't know who at, but I gotta find 'em and find out what the hell's up."

"Oh, that was me," Laxus replied nonchalantly.

"The hell crawled up your ass and died?" I asked flatly. Bickslow tried his damnedest not to laugh, the other two face faulted and Laxus looked at me like nobody had ever dared speak to him that way before.

Silence reigned for what seemed like a long time and then Laxus asked quietly, "You mean nobody's told you?"

"Unless it's about what happened with Mira, no," I replied flatly, "And if that was directed at her," My eyes started glowing, "Then we are about to have a VERY serious problem."

Laxus flinched like I'd punched him, "WHAT?! NO! HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK I'D HATE HER?!" Then he all but choked as a horrified look crossed his face, "Oh god, she told you?"

"She didn't tell me jack shit," I growled, still keeping one arm around Bickslow in case he needed to restrain me. I didn't trust myself a hundred percent right then, "The only thing that kept me from hunting you down when I got back from that quest and found out she'd locked herself in her room crying for a month and a half was Master telling me how hard she blasted ya."

Laxus flinched like I'd punched him again as a look of horror crossed his face, "S-she what?!"

"You heard me," I hissed, "I don't know what you did, I don't know what you said. All I know is that you made Mira cry for a month and a half straight. She wouldn't even let anyone in to talk to her except for Cana and Master! I don't really care what you said, breaking her heart once was enough to boil my blood, you did it twice." Laxus looked like he was feeling appropriately horrified and guilty as I rolled on, "The only reason I didn't portal snipe you on sight for it is because Master asked me not to."

Laxus twitched, "Portal…snipe?"

"I can blow your brain out from half a country away," I told him flatly, "I try not to resort to lethal measures like that except in extreme circumstances. Like people making Mira cry. That's when the friendly face comes off. But yes," I added, "I remember your mental signature well enough to find you anywhere, anytime. And if I can find you, I can kill you."

"Oh you can huh?!" Laxus demanded as lightning started flickering around him. Then the lightning snuffed itself out and a queasy look of pain crossed his face. I kept a glare on him as my fingers squeezed tighter and he groaned as he doubled up, "Oh god, what did you just do to me?"

"Right now, I've got your entire digestive tract in a light grip," I replied, "I squeeze a bit harder and your lunch comes out whichever exit is most readily available like squeezing a tube of toothpaste. Alternatively, I can squeeze really hard or force it to expand and rupture, in which case you get a lovely and extreme case of internal bleeding and go into septic shock. That's a very slow and painful way to go. I can do your heart and brain the same way. Or I could just put you in a coma, or drive you insane, or splatter you like an egg by setting off a building sized explosion inside your chest cavity…"

Bickslow had actually stepped away now and all four of them were looking at me in horror. "What sort of black magic is this?" the guy with the long green hair asked as fear roared through his mind and his hand went to his rapier.

"Right now it's simple garden variety telekinesis," I replied nonchalantly, "Really the number of things I can do to a human body with even the most basic magic is astounding. You can relax, I promised Master I won't kill you. Bickslow I am actively excited to see, and you other two I've got no quarrel with. The only reason I'm even putting you in a squeeze Laxus, is because you just admitted to putting out enough murderous intent for an entire city. So, I'm going to ask again: What. Is. Your. PROBLEM?"

Laxus didn't have to answer, the question brought his grievances right to the forefront of his mind loud and clear. I riveted everyone else to the ground with my telekinesis while I listened to the memory like a radio show.

A grimace rippled across my face as the scene that was the root of it all finished and knowledge of its impact on the wizard before me nestled into my conscious, "Complete bloody Viking aren't you Laxus?"

He looked up at me in surprise as I released my hold on his intestines, "Huh?"

"Only the strong can belong," I mused, "I read that slogan in a book once, wasn't any good there either." I sighed, "Dumbass. Even the simplest and weakest magic can be overwhelmingly destructive if its user knows what they're doing, but that's not the point of Fairy Tail is it? You shouldn't worry so much about what other people think. Look around you, you have good friends here. You're one of the top members of the most respected wizard guilds in the country, and if the rewards for S-Class quests I've seen are anything to go by, then you're definitely not hurting for money. You have a place to come back to and an entire army's worth of people who consider you family, and the only thing you could ever do to fuck that up is try to kill them. You have a great life."

I was quiet for a moment as I looked out over Magnolia and a smile quirked up across my face, "I don't think any of you understand just how beautiful this world is. You asked what things were like where I'm from Bickslow? In a word, HELL. All magic hidden from the public eye, only one child per wizarding family able to inherit magic and any other children cast aside like trash…The government turns anyone truly exceptional into a lab rat and there's more backstabbing in general wizard society than in any royal court. I met a little girl whose father gave her away to another wizard whose bloodline was running out of magic as part of a deal for her to be breeding stock. She was a child. Just a little girl, and her father handed her off to a horrible psycho because he thought she'd be happy to be able to inherit some magic. If not for a legitimate miracle, then that little girl would've grown up being horribly raped, on a daily basis, by someone who was supposed to be her new family!"

"And do you want to know what the central underlying motto of that entire fucking society is?!" I asked of nobody in particular as I threw my hands wide. Without even looking, "We can be stronger! Our magic can be improved! Power is the only thing that matters!"

I folded my hands back behind my back, letting the horror I could hear flooding their minds sink in for a moment before I continued, "You lose a hell of a lot, pursuing power. Morality is usually one of the first things to go. When one person does it, it's bad. When a whole society does it? It's Hell." I kicked my toes into the ground in agitation. I didn't even like thinking about what things were like back home, I certainly didn't want to confront the same sort of thinking from within Fairy Tail.

I put a hand on my hip, "Honestly Laxus, if you and me were to scrap, I'd about have to kill you to win, that or maim you so viciously it would be only a hair's breadth shy. You'd probably be crippled for life if you survived. You're not someone I can afford to even consider holding back against. As far as raw power goes, I only know of three people on this continent who are as strong as you. It goes up to five and possibly fifteen if we include Alakitasia. Lightning magic is very difficult to counter effectively after all. Of course," I added with a small smile, "Master Precht would still stomp you like a bug. He's on another level altogether."

"Master Precht?" Laxus asked in confusion, "What's the second Master got to do with anything?"

I turned to look at him in surprise, "Weren't you here when we got back from Galuna?"

"No, I left right after I found out Natsu had taken off with an S-Class quest!" Laxus exclaimed, "Are you telling me Master Precht is still alive?! He'd have to be over a hundred years old!"

"A hundred and eighteen and still the strongest wizard I've ever met. Second strongest I've seen," I replied with a small grin, "We also found Gray's adopted brother, sister, niece and mother. You've really been out of the loop haven't you? Did you even hear about Phantom?"

"Phantom?!" Laxus asked in alarm, "You mean Phantom Lord? What about 'em?!"

"How did you not hear that they tried to start a Guild War?" I demanded, "We converted two of their top five and humiliated two more! Master beat written confessions out of both of them to use as blackmail material on Phantom and Gray's sister is Ultear from the Magic Council. She heard Jose confess the whole thing! I'm surprised Phantom hasn't been forcibly disbanded! Did you even hear that we've got another Wizard Saint now?!"

Laxus's head snapped up, "WHAT?!"

I jerked a thumb at my head, "I beat Siegrain's rotten carcass to a pulp, revealed him to be a cult leading psycho when he kidnapped Erza and tried to use her as a virgin sacrifice to revive fucking Zeref, and then I hunted the country's Vulcan population to extinction. I didn't just kick them out of their bodies, I actually killed them. They'll never hurt anyone again. Then the whole Council showed up a week ago and said they were givin' me Siegrain's title. I thought for sure Mystogan was gonna get it since he actually saved the council from one of Grimoire Heart's strongest, but apparently the Vulcan thing and beating down Siegrain took the cake on that one," I mused.

Laxus, Bickslow and those other two all looked like I had completely turned the world upside down on them. I shrugged with a grin, "Anyone who thinks we're anything less than the strongest guild on the continent has my full permission to look at what I did to the moon when one of the strongest wizards in the world shot an Etherion cannon at me, and politely shut the fuck up."

"THAT WAS YOU?!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Of course it was me!" I replied, "The only other person on hand who could've done that is Erza and she didn't get there until after it happened." Then I smacked my fist into my palm, "Oh! Did you hear that Gildarts is back and turns out Cana is his daughter?"

"WHAT?!"

I waved a finger at them with a raised eyebrow and an unimpressed look, "Dude, you seriously need to hang out at the Guild more often. This is all seriously old news! Did you even hear about our new dragon slayers and us paying off the entire guild's debt?!"

They all four deadpanned at me and Laxus declared flatly, "Ok, now I know you're screwing with me."

"I AM NOT!" I protested, "We got an unbelievable haul on that decade quest and used it to pay off the guild's debts!"

Laxus suddenly froze and his eyes went wide, "Decade quest?" He was quiet for a second and then he shot to his feet, "YOU FOUND THE CITY OF GOLD?!"

"EHHHHH?!" Bickslow and the other two exclaimed in surprise.

I made a face, "Seriously, how did you not hear about this?" I teleported the morning newspaper from three days ago that I was keeping on my coffee table until I could get it framed to my hand and held it up so he could see the headline: CITY OF GOLD FOUND!

I handed it to him and told him flatly, "I want that back when you're done reading, it's my only copy and I fully intend to have it framed." I smiled as Laxus sat down to read with his friends immediately looking over his shoulder, all thoughts of causing an upset at the festival completely driven from their minds as they tried to process the arsenal of bombshells I'd just dropped on them. Well, that's ONE crisis averted.


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The Next Day

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We'd finished putting the stage together and between Gajeel and Laki, the trappings for a curtain at the back of it had been raised. What looked like half the men in Magnolia were crowded into the open area which would be the main hall, all eagerly awaiting the start of the contest. Natsu, Happy, Gray, Gajeel, Elfman, Gildarts and Dimaria were sitting with me on a large card I'd set hovering over the crowd. Technically we could've all just muscled our way to one of the tables, but with such a crowd we'd certainly have had to stand on it to get a good view. At a signal from Max with the broom, who was wearing a purple suit with a red bow tie like a gameshow host, I threw up a dimmer spell over the ceiling and where the walls would be, leaving only a single hole to act as a spotlight as Max whooshed onto the stage in a localized sandstorm.

He was apparently the guild's go to announcer, and with his complete lack of stage fright it was clear why as he declared into his microphone, "The long wait is finally over ladies and gentlemen! WELCOME to the Miss Fairy Tail Contest, where your favorite fairies fight in a battle of beauty! I'm Max Alors, sand wizard extraordinaire, and I'll be your host for this exciting event! Now let's meet contestant number one! The exotic beauty who will drink you under the table any day of the week, the daughter of our ace in the hole… Cana Clive!"

Cana stepped onto the stage and I adjusted the spotlight to fall on her as Max cheered, "Now bust out some magic and show us your stuff!" Cana smirked and drew her deck of cards. A simple flick of her wrist sent them flying in a storm that obscured her from view as Max narrated, "She's sent her deck spinning! What could she be doing behind all those cards?"

A burst of white light later and Cana was striking a pose in a green and brown bikini with a look that set my pulse hammering (along with every other man in the room except for Gildarts I'm sure). She grinned in the most sultry sexy way that would've turned me into a pile of mush as Max cheered, "She changed into a swimsuit!"

"The prize money can cover my tab," she explained before strutting off the stage, only pausing to shoot either me or Gildarts a look and blow a kiss in our direction with a wink. I think it was aimed at me because Gildarts felt the need to reach over and snatch it out of the air. I know Cana saw that and the slightly annoyed look I shot him because she was laughing as she left the stage. I directed my gaze back to her and as my gaze was drawn where any man's would, I was reminded of a song, Hate to see her go, BUT LORD TO WATCH HER LEAVE…

Then Max exclaimed, "On to Entry Number Two! She may be new to the guild but her magic is S-Class! A radiant beauty in rain or shine, Juvia Lockser!"

I snapped open the spotlight on her and almost jumped off the card in surprise as Gray suddenly cheered at the top of his lungs, "JUVIAAA!" Everyone else on the card looked at him like he was out of his mind as Juvia giggled and suddenly dissolved into a wave of water, conveniently missing the way Natsu and Gajeel promptly shoved him off the card with matching evil grins.

The wall of water evaporated before it could reach the edge of the stage and, "And the lovely lady is all set for a fabulous day at the beach!"

I didn't get to see Juvia strut off because I was busy trying to hold Gray still with my telekinesis to keep him from starting a fight while Gajeel and Natsu sniggered at him. I hauled him back up and set him back in his seat as I hissed, "Fight later, for now enjoy the show!"

Gray fumed and made several violent little gestures at Gajeel and Natsu but kept his peace for the moment as Max announced, "And next up is Entry Number 3, Fairy Tail's famous centerfold! Her beauty has captured the hearts of men and women across the land! MIRAJANE!" He sprang out of the way to reveal Mira smiling and waving in her usual floor length pink dress. No matter how many times I saw her in it, she still had me instantly.

I clearly wasn't the only one if the way the crowd was immediately raising the roof was anything to go by. It was only my absolute surety in her affection that kept me from wanting to start busting heads and keep busting heads until none of them ever again dared look at her with the lecherous thoughts I knew were filling their heads. I was suddenly very glad we'd talked about it ahead of time, because that was the only thing keeping my head level right then.

Max prompted her to demonstrate her magic and she told the crowd with a smile, "My specialty is transformation magic, so I'm going to let you all see a new side of me, or rather…an old one." She added with a wink before folding her hands in front of her and closing her eyes. Every hair on my body stood on end as an absolute eruption of magic power surged forth and a HUGE dark purple magic seal formed over her head. A voice that I knew was Mira's but at the same time sooo much more…just sinful, decadent, and so erotic echoed around the room like an ice cube down my spine, "Satan Soul…"

A burst of light later and I wasn't quite sure who or maybe what I was seeing in the suddenly purple light and roiling mist. It took me a second to realize that the gorgeous woman, no the succubus on stage was my sweet Mira. Her hair was defying gravity and her pink dress had turned into a skin tight red one piece with a high jagged collar that was open all the way down to her navel. Her hands were clad in fearsome looking clawed gauntlets and she had on high heeled boots that went all the way up to her thigh, hugging every inch of those long perfect legs. What looked like a crack but might've been a jagged scar of some sort marred the side of her face, but it didn't hinder her looks in the slightest. No, as she drew a heart in the air with her index fingers of flickering darkness and pinkish purple flames, I wasn't sure if I had ever been more aroused in my life.

Then she turned to leave the stage, she looked over her shoulder and made eye contact with me. She smiled the most seductive 'follow me, bed's this way' grin I could ever have hoped to see and then she shot me a kiss right through the center of the heart she'd drawn. It bowled me over so thoroughly that it's a wonder I didn't go off the card backwards. The only reason I didn't is because Gajeel and Dimaria caught me before I could completely faint with hearts in my eyes.

I was snapped out of it by Max laughing, "Ohhh my! It appears the She-devil's snatched at least one soul today if the hearts are anything to go by!" I was suddenly acutely aware that I'd accidentally manifested over a dozen glowing pink hearts that were floating in the air around us. Very, very big glowing pink hearts, and the entire crowd was laughing at me. I promptly snuffed them out and turned myself invisible to hide the way I was glowing as red as Erza's hair in embarrassment. The fainting thing was bad enough, power incontinence manifesting holograms based on my emotions?! THIS WAS TOO MUCH!

Max chuckled as I moved the spotlight back over, "Moving on to Entry Number Four! The Fairy Queen herself who needs no introduction…" Erza promptly leapt onto the stage to land in her own spotlight, pulling off two very impressive midair somersaults before landing with that firm imperious look that was honestly very fetching, "…ERZA SCARLET!"

The crowd went almost as nuts as they had for Mira and Erza grinned, "Let me show you a Requip you don't get to see every day…" A whirlwind of pink energy later and her standard armor and skirt had been swapped out for a very cute black dress and leggings that highlighted her breasts by means of exposing the white button down beneath the dress. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail and if you didn't know she could beat an entire army's collective ass by herself, that sweet innocent smile would not give it away. Then she flashed a grin almost as hot as Mira's and a wink to the crowd, which prompted an utterly thunderous roar of approval before she left the stage.

I looked over in surprise as I heard Dimaria cheering too. She blushed when she realized I was smiling and then looked back at the stage, "Well, um…it's right to cheer for my friends isn't it?" I nodded and turned my attention back to the stage as well.

"And now, Entry Number 5! Petite and cute, this fairy is as smart as she is charming! Let's hear it for Levy McGarden!" Jet and Droy immediately cheered at the top of their lungs from the front row and I grinned as Gajeel sat forward in immediate interest. Levy struck a cute pose like she wanted to give everybody a hug, which was quite fitting. She is definitely a hugger.

"Lemme show you my Solid Script!" Levy swept her hands up and out with that huge grin and half a dozen words materialized around her, Snow, Butterfly, Metal, Flower, Fire and Shine. Jet and Droy were once again audible as they cheered along with Dimaria and much of the crowd. Meanwhile, Gajeel actually looked slightly put out. I elbowed him gently, "She's probably savin' the bikini for you."

Gajeel looked at me in surprise and then grinned, "Gihihi, ya think?" I grinned back, "Go get 'em lover boy." Gajeel could not have looked prouder of himself if you'd inflated his ego with a pump.

"Entry Number Six! The sniper with her sights set on your heart, the one and only Bisca Mulan!" Bisca was a very well built woman with long wavy green hair. She hadn't bothered with a pre-bikini outfit and had instead simply strutted out in her purple bikini. She gave a smug little smile and raised a hand to show four coins. She grinned and threw them into the air, "And now it's Requip time! The Gunner."

A freaking rifle appeared in her hand and in an instant, she'd aimed and fired, blasting a hole dead through the center of all four coins. She caught them as they fell neatly back into her hand and spread her fingers to show the four freshly shot through coins with a huge grin and pride oozing off every inch of her, "Yeehaw!"

My jaw dropped at the sheer skill displayed in that instant, "Holy crap!" I didn't even hesitate to clap as she strutted off the stage with her gun over her shoulder, "Never seen anybody that could shoot like that. I don't think I could do that with Archive!"

"Entry Number Seven! Fairy Tail's rising star, Lucy!" In between blinks, Lucy suddenly appeared on the stage in the spotlight and I feel certain my eyes were not the only ones that bugged straight the hell out of their sockets. She was wearing her combat suit, so that alone was worth looking at, but I'd be buggered sideways if I hadn't just seen some space-time fuckery at work! "When the hell did she learn how to teleport?!"

Dimaria leaned over as Lucy blew out a cloud of snow like a kiss that drifted down on top of the audience, "It was at the Tower, she started doing it when we were fighting that pink haired woman. She's not actually teleporting, she says it's almost like time is slowing to a crawl around her. Honestly, I'm kinda jealous. That kind of gift naturally? If I wasn't sure we were meant to be friends before, I definitely am now that I know Lord Kronos favors her like that."

I raised an eyebrow, "Come again? Kronos?"

Dimaria nodded, "The God of Time. Lucy's magic messes with the flow of time, so she's clearly favored by him."

I nodded, "I see. That's…very interesting!" Interesting nothing, that was incredible! Lucy had TIME MAGIC?!

Entry number eight was that girl that had been with Laxus and Bickslow. Evergreen, I think Max said her name was. She wasn't bad looking. If you were into the hot librarian look, she was actually even rather attractive. Objectively I can acknowledge that she's good looking, but she just presses none of my buttons. Oh well, I'm sure nobody minds. Especially if that faint blush on Elfman when she swapped into a zebra striped bikini and let her hair down was anything to go by. To each their own!

She made a storm of what looked like basically glitter and flew out over the crowd to shower them in it before floating back down to the stage before strolling off back behind the curtain.

"Let's have a big hand for 'em everybody!" Max cheered, "Now, while the votes are cast and tallied, a special announcement from Master Makarov!" He slid to the side and presented the microphone to Master as Master stepped into the spotlight.

Master cleared his throat and smiled, "Good morning everyone! I hope you're enjoying the show. Now this year we're having two special surprise shows! First, this evening, in response to the numerous questions we've fielded regarding the Decade Quest to find Mattachu, the City of Gold, the team which undertook that quest has put together a special little something which they call a motion picture. Between the end of our other show and the parade, we will be showing this motion picture which is a near perfect recording of the events that transpired on that quest, woven together seamlessly to deliver the maximum amount of enjoyment for our beloved fans, and will feature a look at the city of gold itself, as well as the great battle that unfolded on their way home!"

That got an excited wave of muttering and exclamations as it sank in, then Master continued, "And our second event, a little more rooted in the here and now, I now turn over the microphone to my grandson our infamous S-Class wizard, Laxus."

He handed the mic up to Laxus as Laxus stepped into the spotlight with a grin. I sat forward, my interest immediately piqued. The movie of the Mattachu job had been my idea, but I hadn't heard anything about Laxus having a plan for something. Other than whatever harebrained nonsense he'd had in his head last night, but I was pretty sure the thought of having his intestines obliterated and the reveal of everything he'd apparently had his head up his ass for had shaken that out of him.

Laxus smiled as he looked out at the crowd, "For a long time now, I've been, overly concerned you could say, with maintaining our guild's reputation as the best and strongest. I admit, I've been a jerk about it. Now I'd like to offer my congratulations to the entire guild, you've all proven that I was worried about nothing. Fairy Tail is the greatest guild in Fiore and I think anyone who tries to dispute now that is a complete and utter idiot."

The audience applauded and I heard several guild members cheer the notion. Laxus let the applause die down and then, "Now something our guild is pretty famous for is our fighting chops, and we prove it on a daily basis with our Guild Hall Brawls. I don't think you can say you've visited Fairy Tail until you've gotten caught up in one, but since I'm sure you good people don't feel like fighting us or getting caught in the cross fire, today we're having a very special event! Sixteen wizards, handpicked by myself and Master Makarov, are going to have a tournament of strength and magic in one on one fights. Since we need a pretty good prize for such a show, and since I'll be competing as well, whoever wins gets a guaranteed spot in this year's S-Class trials! How's that sound to ya huh?!"

There was an eruption of excitement at that and I admit, I was rarin' to go myself since I had just a teensy little sneaking suspicion that Laxus had gotten my name into that bracket. Then Laxus cleared his throat, "For anyone wondering, we're not including any female wizards in this because over half the guys would go down without a fight…" A pretty generous wave of laughter answered that and Laxus continued, "And for the safety of the audience, no we are not including Gildarts or Master Makarov in this. Also, the Guild Hall is halfway rebuilt and we don't want it getting knocked back completely flat by Gildarts going overboard."

The whole crowd laughed and I shot Gildarts a grin as he pouted. Laxus raised his hand and purple light erupted in the middle of the crowd outlining a ring, "Now if everyone will please clear the ring...

IT'S TIME FOR THE BATTLE OF FAIRY TAIL!"

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NEXT TIME on Mad Little Slice of Heaven...

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I grinned at Gajeel, "Looks like we're getting that rematch huh?"

Gajeel just grinned, "Gihi. Count on it."

"DON'T JUST ACT LIKE WE'RE NOT HERE!" the half dozen other wizards on our side of the bracket who we'd have to beat to meet in the semifinals roared.