It was a great day to clean. Hermione woke up early, avoided the very substantial anomaly of waking up in a man's body, and got to work. Did it freak her out to have a bodily reaction in the morning? Quite right. Was she going to talk about it? Absolutely not. So, she invested her newfound energy into cleaning.
The fireplace went off when she was scrubbing the kitchen sink by hand, and footsteps were heard on the stairs. "Hermione?" Ginny's voice came from the hall.
"Don't bugger out on me, Gin," Hermione called out.
Ginny appeared and gasped, nearly dropping the bags in her hand. "It's true. You're back."
"Well, he's back, yes, but I'm certainly not him," Hermione retorted while pressing the brush into the basin.
"Harry told me, but it's shocking. He looks," Ginny paused and hemmed. "Younger than I remember."
"I thought so too," Hermione confessed and dragged an arm over the sweat.
Ginny placed the bags down on the counter and walked closer to the form of Sirius Black. Hermione dressed him in a pair of slacks and a tank top she found in his wardrobe. The witch seemed baffled.
"What's wrong?" Hermione huffed and tossed the scrub brush in the sink.
"Nothing, I just, wow," Ginny said.
"Look, I know we said a bunch of things over the years, but let's keep that between us, yes? Remus is stuck in my body," Hermione grumbled.
"How is he doing?" Ginny questioned.
"Terrible. He's more neurotic than I ever was."
Ginny tapped her chin and giggled. "I suppose he's been trying to handle being a witch without taking away your modesty."
Hermione groaned and climbed onto the space of the counter. "Well, I suppose, but we both know that wouldn't work well, so bugger it."
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Ginny remarked.
Hermione gestured to the male body and glared. "I woke up as Sirius Black. Of course, I'm angst-ridden."
"Maybe you just need a fag and a girl," Ginny teased and waved her hand. "Sorry I couldn't help it."
Hermione rose her eyebrows and exhaled. "No, minus the witch, maybe I do need a cigarette. That actually makes sense."
Ginny snorted and dug through one of the paper bags. "Harry said Sirius asked."
Hermione shuddered but snagged the pack and reached for her wand. She flicked it, and the sparks fluttered everywhere before dispersing. The cigarette was lit, but the wand's reaction amused her. "Well, that's not a good idea. Maybe no magic until we can get this sorted."
She took a puff of the smoke and exhaled. The anxiety she was feeling started to disappear. "I loathe that it worked."
"It's so odd to see you as Sirius," Ginny said as she shook her head.
"Gin, I don't know the first thing about Sirius," Hermione confessed. "I found a scar on his calf last night, long and silvery- definitely not a werewolf scratch. I haven't a clue where he got it. I catch myself glancing at his tattoos and wondering what he was thinking when he got them. It's been a rough morning," Hermione sighed.
"You've been looking at him?" Ginny asked.
Hermione sat up straighter after breathing in another puff of the cancerous stick. "No, nothing odd. I'm housed in a body I don't know anything about. Let's not forget that his situation was far different than my own."
Ginny doubled over in laughter and breathed. "Did you look at it?"
"No! That's just, no," Hermione spat.
"You haven't once?" Ginny pried.
"Absolutely not. That's wrong," Hermione groaned, jumping off the counter.
"Have you," the redhead waved her hand with arched eyebrows.
"This morning and it buggered me. I don't, well, it. This doesn't leave between us, Gin," Her tone was gravely and dangerous in Sirius's voice.
"What's that like?" Ginny questioned with a grimace.
"Difficult," Hermione spat.
Ginny pulled a few items from the bags and shook her head. "I don't know how we're going to fix this."
"Me either, and trust me, I want to."
"How have they been? They fought the last time they were together, didn't they?" Ginny asked.
Hermione shrugged and leaned over the counter, forehead pressed on the tile. "I don't know. Sirius is Sirius. I can't imagine what they were fighting about. Maybe he was too flirty and got carried away? Harry said they were never together, right?"
"That's what he assumes," Ginny affirmed.
Lifting her head, she gazed back at the witch. "It's all show? Sirius never came out and said they were dating? Remus never would so I wouldn't bother asking him. Sirius is a shameless flirt, we've seen it, but what if we're wrong?"
"Did something happen?"
"He kissed Remus in spite of an argument we had yesterday."
Ginny's eyes looked like they were going to be torn from her sockets. "You mean he kissed Remus in your body? What was that like?"
Hermione lifted the cigarette to his mouth and huffed. "Confusing." Standing up, a massive groan filled the room. "He's a bugger of a man at times, but I don't think it was his action that inspired that thought. It was Remus's lack thereof that did."
"So, what do we do? What's the next step?" Ginny inquired.
"The next step is we are going for a run," Remus's familiar voice entered the room.
Ginny turned to see Remus enter the room in a tight t-shirt and sporty shorts. It was seeing the werewolf in a new light, and Hermione felt her jaw slack.
"Merlin, Sirius what did you do to Remus's body?" Ginny asked.
He grinned and folded his arms. "I found some of my clothes that fit. Let's go, Hermione. I'm not going to get flabby because you're lazy."
"Sirius, I will have you know I ride a bicycle and lift weights," Hermione huffed.
Sirius dropped his posture and rolled his neck. "I can tell. Now, let's go before Moony wakes up. He'll have breakfast on before long."
Hermione exhaled and doused the cigarette in the sink. "Let me change."
She walked by, and he snagged her arm. "I like the shirt. You have a good eye, love."
The animagus stomped up the stairs, and Ginny arched an eyebrow at him. "You're going to need to talk to her about your morning issues, Sirius. She was out of sorts."
His eyebrows rose as his nose dipped. "Did she say much about it?"
"Honestly? It freaked her out. It's not easy for a witch to deal with a new wand, ya know?" Ginny said as she finished pulling out the food.
"What else?" Sirius hemmed.
Ginny flung a hand at the clean kitchen. "She obviously is stressed out. This place is scrubbed from floor to cabinet. Maybe take some of the good advice you had for Harry and give her a dose. I don't remember the last time she was on a date, and now she's, well, you. That's a bit to take on."
"Educate her on my body?" Sirius asked with a grimace.
"Not like that," Ginny waved a hand in his direction. "Just let her know it's alright. Imagine waking up as a witch, much like Remus did."
"He is quite put out, but they've been talking," Sirius sighed.
"Good, now it's your turn. Help her get comfortable, so she isn't buggered every time something pops up, quite literally in some cases."
Sirius exhaled and rocked his head. "I'll talk to her. Ginny, you said she doesn't date? What's going on with that? Why?"
Ginny shook her head and scrunched her face. "Her and Ron weren't able to have children, and they felt it was best to break it off. My mum was furious that they just ended it instead of trying all the different ways, but it was better that way. They didn't want to prolong it."
Sirius shifted and scowled. "Well, was it her fault or his?"
"She thinks it was hers. That's why she doesn't date."
"Okay, I hear her coming. See you after," Sirius said and went up to the staircase rather fast.
Remus wasn't satisfied with the circumstances. He loved women, all shapes and forms, but he wasn't supposed to be admiring a hijacked body. The reflection of her in the knickers gave him a decent view, but it wasn't the body he was noting. The scars were an amusing distraction as he examined them.
Along her back, she had deep cuts- definitely werewolf scars. Different shades of curse markings glittered across her sides and thighs. Even the remarkable tanned skin the witch had couldn't hide the silvery announcements of battle. It was nothing compared to the faded 'Mudblood,' written across her arm. This poor witch.
He gathered some suitable wear that Sirius gave him and threw on a large t-shirt with a band logo and some sweats. She was cute. Not in her thirties, barely in her twenties if he had to guess. He would be wrong, but that just meant she would age well. Remus would freely admit on his own that Hermione Granger was a beautiful witch.
What an enjoyable experience to not wake up feeling heavy. No lupine growling for food, sex or flesh to sink his teeth into with lustful joy. The only need he suffered was a visit to the restroom and some tea. Well-rested. It made a soft sigh leave his mouth as he skipped down the staircase.
When he entered the kitchen, an older Ginevra Weasley, no Potter, was cooking. "Good morning, Remus. How did you sleep?"
He laughed and sat down at one of the transfigured stools. "Very well, Ginny, how are you today? Where are your lovely children?"
Ginny giggled as she set down a teacup in front of the smiling witch. "Well, Harry has them Saturday mornings usually. I get up, go wake up Hermione, and we go to breakfast with Angelina, but not this week."
"No, I suppose not. How old are they now?"
"James is four and Albus is nearing two," Ginny announced with a smile.
"That's wonderful, I'm pleased that you and Harry have a lovely family," Remus said before sipping his cup.
"Someone is cheery," Ginny remarked.
Remus bent forward and hemmed. "I slept."
"So, you're not so put out?"
"I wouldn't go as far as stating it that way. I am not in my own body, but it was nice not to have that added onto this mess."
Ginny handed him a plate and sat down with hers next to him. She kept glancing over and scowling. "It's hard to distinguish you both," she said.
"Well, this is her body," Remus grumbled as he forked up some eggs.
"No, I mean your attitude. I could tell Hermione was Sirius and Sirius was you, but you act a bit like her."
Remus never noticed before she pointed that out. They had a familiar air about them as they talked last night, even when she was younger, she held a bit of his more optimism. "You're right; we're similar."
"She's not as nice as you," Ginny remarked with a smile.
"You haven't seen me angry," he reminded her and took another bite.
Ginny sipped her cup and cleared her throat. "Remus, I have to ask. Are you all getting along?"
"As well as we can. I'm a bit nervous about this conflict. Sirius is always headstrong, but he's never had exposure to being a werewolf. Hermione, she'll do fine and suffer through like I know she's capable of."
"How about you?" Ginny questioned.
Remus ran smooth fingers over his cheek and huffed. "This witch business is no picnic. I don't want to do anything wrong with her body. I don't want to do anything uncivil or questionable either, so I'm not sure what is what."
Ginny laughed while shaking her head. "Look at it this way. It's on loan, and she needs you to take care of it. Bathe, wash her hair, please don't forget to clean her face and keep it tidy. We are coming over tonight to help go over some books. Ron even offered to help with this mess."
Remus felt his cheeks warm. "No, don't have everyone over. That's a horrible idea."
"We are, and you're going to listen. We're not going to lose any of you to this ridiculous magic now that you're back."
Their heart to heart was interrupted by shouting. Jovial and happy laughter filled the kitchen as the two body swapped wizards barreled into the room. "I told you, it's about science, not brawns," Hermione laughed as she shoved the werewolf.
Sirius was huffing and waved her off. "I can't fucking breathe, love," he huffed.
"What did you do?" Ginny questioned.
Hermione, who was a sweat dripping Sirius, flared her arm out in a very Sirius fashion. "I won a race. He insisted we race and I won."
"Okay, alright, but you bloody smell, why not hit the showers?" Sirius growled and shoved her.
She bristled and cleared her throat. "Oh, well, maybe after breakfast."
"No, now, you smell disgusting," Sirius hissed and pulled her to the doorway.
"But Sirius, wait," she argued.
Ginny laughed and cupped a hand around her mouth. "Don't forget to scrub behind his ears!"
Hermione shot her a narrowed gaze. "Someone could wave their wand and clean me up."
"Just go, I won't be offended if you touch me, girl. Just get cleaned up," Sirius pushed.
The animagus disappeared while grumbling up the staircase.
"I heard that you better not dye my hair pink!" Sirius snarled and huffed. "Moony, you're so out of shape," he grumbled while putting his hands on his knees.
"That would be waking up tired every day, Pads," Remus sighed.
"How was your talk?" Ginny asked.
Sirius grunted and reached for a glass in the cupboard before filling it with water. "She was mortified, but at least she knows now. I didn't even get into how to fix it. She was too skittish. I have tons of empathy for her. It's not easy to handle a body that's not your own."
"How's Moony?" Ginny questioned.
Sirius was gulping down the drink as he groaned. "Ballocks and pissed. Now I see why Remus was never a pleasant person in the morning."
Remus scowled as he sipped his tea. "What's going on with Hermione?"
Ginny shook her head. "Just not used to being a wizard."
His cheeks filled with color as he swallowed hard. "Oh."
Sirius grabbed a plate on the counter and sat down next to Ginny. "Oh is right. This whole thing is buggered sideways. She complimented me, which was pleasant, but in all, she's very dissatisfied with the state."
"Complimented you how?" Remus asked.
Sirius snorted as he forked up some sausage. "Well, she said she appreciated my tattoos after I told her why I got them."
"How long were you running?" Remus inquired with a glare at him.
"They were gone for almost two hours."
"Two hours? You were running for two hours?" Remus continued.
Sirius snarled and stood up. "Don't act like such a prat, Moony. I need to decompress too!"
"I'm not," Remus retorted.
"You're acting like a jealous witch is what you're acting like," Sirius spat and lifted his plate. "I'm going to eat in my room, wanker." He marched from the kitchen and slammed the door at the top of the stairs.
"I wasn't acting out of sorts was I?" Remus asked Ginny.
Ginny grimaced and held up her index finger and thumb close together. "A little."
"But they were gone for two hours to run? How is that even remotely normal?" Remus hissed as he stabbed at his eggs.
"When Harry goes to work out, he's gone for hours. You used to do that with James and Sirius, right?"
"No, I like to jog, but nothing extensive. He's going to be miserable tomorrow from running today," Remus sighed and shook his head. "I should have explained myself."
Ginny patted his shoulder and rocked her head. "It's not easy being a witch, Remus. The emotions come on suddenly, and sometimes our tongues are faster than our mind."
Remus scrubbed his face and exhaled. "I suppose not."
They sat in silence for a bit until footfalls were heard on the stairs once again. This time, Sirius's face poked from the doorway. "Remus, can I borrow you?"
He hopped from the stool and approached to see she had a towel wrapped around his waist. "What's wrong?" Remus whispered.
Hermione winced and shook her head. "I can't. It's not my cup of tea to be this uncomfortable."
He exhaled and nodded for her to head up the stairs. They walked without conversation as Hermione skirted into the bathroom. "What's troubling you?" Remus asked.
"Help me? I am completely out of my realm of comfort with his body. I heard him stomp up to his room, so I didn't want to bother him."
Remus nodded and noted the bath already filled. "Alright, I understand. I have similar feelings with yours as well. I was dreading the whole bathing concept."
Hermione snorted and nodded. "You help me, and I'll help you."
There was a knock at the door. "Hermione, Remus, I'm going to go check on things at home. I'll be back later with Harry and the boys."
"See you then, Ginny," Hermione called back.
Remus gestured to the tub and nodded. "Climb in."
She folded the towel and placed it to the side, which Remus found uncharacteristically funny with Sirius's body. She was in the tub and grimaced at his limbs. He watched her observe Sirius much as he had been doing this morning. It was as if there was a checklist of things added to who they all perceived themselves to be next to others.
"You like Sirius's tattoos?" He asked, approaching the tub.
"Oh, they're nice, well, now that I know that they symbolize parts of his life."
Remus grabbed the washcloth and handed it to her. "Do all the easy parts. I'll get his tender bits. No witch should have to scrub a man's particulars unless she's shagging him," he laughed.
Hermione cleared her throat as Remus sat on the edge of the bathtub. He observed the uncertainty and vulnerability she was willing to exhibit. "He's rather soulful. We talked quite a bit today about this mess. Underneath all the verbose confidence, he's gentle."
"I have always loved that about him. Probably too much in some cases," Remus sighed.
Grey eyes searched his. "Were you both… together?"
Remus thinned his lips and nodded. "On and off since school. If you're going to be with us for an extended period, you have a right to know."
"Is it a secret?" Hermione asked as she cleaned his shoulders.
"Yes," Remus said. "He didn't want anyone to know, and I prefer others not to."
"Oh," Hermione said and dropped her gaze.
"Tarnish a bit of our charm?" He asked with an asymmetrical tug of lips.
"Oh, no, it's just, you both seemed so out of sorts. I was wondering what happened."
Remus exhaled and maneuvered to the back of the tub to help her with his torso. "We have a hard time staying glued. Many wounds from our past," he paused and took the cloth from her. "He's cheated, I've pushed away. He's left, I've disappeared… we have difficulties when we aren't friends. Nothing keeps us in orbit."
Remus was working on the animagus torso as Hermione thought. "I wonder why. Why you both seem to orbit like pluto and not Saturn," she mused.
"Good analogy, Hermione. I don't know. We love each other, but we always did better when we had something else to gravitate to. When we were in school, it was different. He wasn't monogamous always, and I was quite content with that. I never disliked or misunderstood his interest for witches- after all, I married one," He finished with a laugh.
"But if he promised something, you needed him to live that out," Hermione added as Remus finished cleaning up the back of his former lover.
"Oh yes, which was always a problem. His follow-through was difficult. But Merlin do I love that man."
"He's easy to love, harder to retain because of his disbelief in deserving it," Hermione hummed.
Remus bent forward and glared at her. "How do you know that?"
Hermione exhaled and shrugged her shoulders. "I understand it. When Ron left, I just stood there. I stood at the door and stared. Not because I was surprised that it ended, but because I knew it was going to. It was my fault."
"Firstly, you can't be at fault for not having children," Remus said while stepping around the tub. "Secondly, you're quite easy to love. You have a whole family who loves you dearly. I should know, I witnessed plenty of it when I was here before."
"That wasn't why he left, not really, Remus," Hermione sighed.
"Then, why?"
"He left because I decided I didn't want to keep trying. It was too hard, too disappointing. So I told him I was done and if he wanted we could adopt. That blew over like a sack of bludgers. It ended because I needed it to."
"And he is remarried?"
Hermione nodded and sighed. "Yes, had his first daughter a year ago."
Remus grunted and kneeled over the bathtub. "This is going to be uncomfortable. Bear with me."
He sunk his hand in the water and Hermione winced as he made quick work of the dreaded task. Expressive apologies were written all over the face of her body as Remus finished. "That will do for now. Poor Padfoot is going to be out of sorts when he returns to his body."
Hermione laughed as Remus pulled out the slender arm from the water. "Well, he best not complain too much."
Remus leaned his hands on the tub rim and frowned at her. "I want you to listen and understand this, Hermione. You are worthy of love, kindness, and generosity and to choose who you love. You move others with your conviction and affection. Don't forget that. There were things I felt it was inappropriate to tell you at the age you were. We're a touch closer now, so I feel it's only right to adjust the wrongs that have been done to you. I wish someone would have told me that about my wife- I wouldn't have kept her in agony if I felt she had the right to choose who to share her love with."
His words made Hermione swallow and nod. "Practice what you instruct, professor," she said.
He smiled and nodded. "I will try."
Hermione stood in the tub and reached for her towel. It was awkward for Remus to watch her attempt to dry the manly body. There was no need to guess at how mortified she was while drying his limbs. "Okay, hold on, let me help," he chuckled.
Hermione huffed and lifted her massive arms. "Merlin, I hope it's as easy as taking a potion, I don't want to have to keep doing this."
The small witch ducked down with the towel and dried the animagus's legs. Remus was quite thorough with his duty but didn't draw out the misery longer than needed. Once everything from the hips down was dry, Hermione finished the rest with a nod. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet, I need you to take care of your body next," Remus snickered.
Hermione sighed as she reached for the boxers on the covered toilet seat. "That's easy, Remus. I know my body better than anyone else," she laughed.
"Good," he sighed.
She was dressing the solid form of Sirius's when she hummed. "Refill the tub. I'm going to grab the potions and toiletries Ginny brought for me."
"Alright," Remus sighed.
A large hand landed on the small shoulder of the witch. "Don't worry, Remus. I honestly don't mind if you see anything. It isn't like I'm your Saturn," she said with a wide smirk.
It was so Sirius. Remus beamed and nodded. "Okay, I'll see you, momentarily."
