Part 6 Wow. Thank you. (Eden, those were brilliant 3) I don't know if this is what you all were thinking but it's what came out. It's not done… what I thought was going to be five short chapters is, of course, not. So there's more to I hope you like this bit.

Music would have changed the creepy feeling of the factory at night a bit - or made it worse - but as it was, silence was the only thing she could tolerate.

She went slow on her whisky and cleared her throat when the familiar burn reminded her this was likely bad for someone still in recovery. But everything was bad and she was tired. Her family, her husband and her job, all bad. She could have a few bloody sips.

She finally stood and walked towards Paul's desk, she knew she'd not find anything remotely incriminating about affairs at his work desk but she went anyway.

Leading through some papers she came across something suspicious. It was the forms she'd asked him to take care of regarding her children's line. Sure, after her procedure and the judgments of those around her where her uterus was concerned, she had no more desire to design or make any kids wear. But she'd asked him to handle a few things she'd had in the works and it seemed he hadn't.

She took a few breaths to let the rising panic out but it was no use, she started to notice her breathing become shallow, her hands cold, her head ache. She was full on panicking from paperwork not getting done.

If Liam forgot, which he would do, or if she let it all slide or failed she could handle it. If Paul had forgotten because he was worried and spending days with her following surgery that would be okay. But it was none of those things, he'd just not done it. And he'd likely done someone else as well and the former hurt her more and that didn't make sense.

The fact he'd broken vows was worse, objectively. The fact he lied to her and was hurting her and humiliating her was worse. She knew this and knew she'd keenly feel this abuse for years to come but for some reason she couldn't stop shaking when she looked at the paperwork undone. The reminder than she was pretty and sassy and amusing to him since she was a teen and nothing much more. She was not his best friend and surely not his confidante - though she's tried until she was blue in the face - and now she wasn't even his proper bed partner. She was just there as a placeholder woman that she'd never wanted to be. This was more proof he'd never thought her smart or capable or driven enough. Proof every idea she had was a slot or fancy that didn't matter and neither did she. She was with a man who didn't only want another woman, she was with a man who didn't think even highly of woman and that hit her in the gut and made her more ashamed than angry. She was so ashamed and now she wanted to hurt him.

She shoved the stack of papers off the desk and then spit on his chair. Running her hands through her hair and huffing, stomping in her only slightly heeled boots to her whisky drawer and slamming it shut after refilling the amber liquid she was a cacophony of Noise and didn't notice the door click of the footsteps until he was standing in the office doorway.

"Carla? What you doin'?"

He sounded both concerned and confused. A good summation of her Liam some days.

"Plotting a way to kill your brother."

"Okay."

"What you don't believe me?"

"Well I know I wouldn't wanna cross you in a dark alley…" he smiled but gave it up quickly when her eyes darkened. "Okay… but no, I don't. We will get you through this and he'll be sorry and -"

"How."

"Well for start.."

"How Liam. How will we make him sorry.

"Carla I -"

"-Only… I can only think of two things and one is murder and the other is... " she shook her head and laughed.

His neck tensed and he tried to relieve the pressure by cracking it a bit too loudly and then he winced.

"What you said... .anyway, maybe you should sit down." He managed.

"I wish you weren't here," she said. "I wish you hadn't taken care of me that week and been my best friend because then I could use you the way I need to so I can hurt him properly," a biter laugh escape her but her eyes were glassy now.

"You what?"

She shook her head and he stepped forward toward her.

"Nothing Lee-" He took hold of her arms and his eyes were fire.

"Use me?"

"I said if you weren't…" She was losing her usual confidence and unable to make eye contact "What it were only… I only meant…."

He let go of her and went over to Paul's desk and tossed half of the contents off the desk so suddenly she jumped. But unlike when Paul threw things, she wasn't scared.

"Liam…"

"What?" He snapped. "'You know what Carla, maybe you really can be a bitch."

"Excuse -"

"Maybe Paul's right, 'cos he does, you know, call you that weekly if not daily. I hate the way he talks about you and I, yeah, I was there and a lot of good that fucking did me if this is how you think…"

"Liam it was only... I were only saying…"

"You were saying I'm like a... I can't think of a good term, Carla. I'm not you and your clever mouth, but I'm sick of being this pathetic guy in the middle." He said. "Half the time I feel you're my rowing parents and I have to keep peace lest we all die and the other times is trying my fucking best to ignore what I want. So badly because I'm not my brother. I'm not pail and that's the thing. J can't take what I want like he can. I can't be that…."

"What is it?" She asked.

"I was going to say selfish."

"No," she corrected. "What do you want?"

He looked at her with laser focus and let out a defeated laugh.

"Nothing that's mine and nothing that will matter."

"What do you want? Because I'd like to know. Paul doesn't trust me and we don't share. No one lets me in anymore and no one knows me the way you do and I can see Paul's not done the work and that he thinks I'm dumb and I know that despite how wonderful you have been lately, that you doubt me too. So please, at least tell me what the bloody hell you want Liam. Trust me with that much -"

She was cut off by his kiss.

Sharp and sudden in movement but soft and tender in a way that didn't make sense with the frenzied feeling and the strength of his hands as he pushed her to the wall, clattering the blinds.

She paused and half inhaled to only a moment as he urged her to open. Her lips parted and she felt his tongue enter and then she felt herself combat him. Her hand went to hold his head close and finally grip his hair. He moved his hands from her upper arms - one to cradle her cheek and the other to wrap around to the small of her back and pull her closer.

He tasted like whisky - or she did - or they both did. She didn't know what was what, she only knew she needed more. She raised onto her toes a bit and pressed herself closer to him. He sighed. Pulling his lips away for a moment and seeming to be in pain. He was taking a breath and giving her a moment but she didn't want a moment, she wanted him and this.

She pulled him harshly back to her and bit his lower lip. It drove him mad clearly because he grabbed her ass and pulled her as close as he could. She felt him hard against her and if the pain wasn't there she was sure she'd have pushed him onto the desk that moment.

"Liam what are we doing?"

He pulled away and held his head in his hands.

"What I wanted."

They paused. She expected him to bolt and maybe that's what he was about to do when he went to the door and peaked out around the factory. She settled against the wall, leaning because her knees were about to give way.

He came back into the door, his hair a mess from his own nervous habit of constantly running his hands through it or from her gripping it for dear life only moments ago.

"I thought you were about to storm out," she said. "Because that was a mistake, Liam. I can't lose you to a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake Carla. It was insanity."

"Ouch." She tried for a sarcastic tone but he remained with his eyes fixed to the floor, his breath rather unsteady, his hands in his pockets for a moment in that boyish yet old man way he had about him.

"You kissed me back," it was like a child speaking in how desperately he seemed to want that reassurance and she wanted to give him more of that.

"You're the handsomest man I know and you're…. Of course I kissed you back. Bit you, even. Sorry."

"Please don't apologize."

"I can't. I'm not sorry but I also can't lose you now."

"You're not losing me, Carla."

"I… I want to hit you or bite you again, I don't even know Liam!" She started to pace the room. "You've been there for me and yeah, you're not imagining … this, I dunno.. But I just looked down at that desk I saw that Paul thinks I am truly just his accessory."

Adorably, Liam looked to the desk and obviously saw no proof. It was a quick urge to grab him and kiss his cheek but she stopped herself.

"The paperwork…. I don't want that children's line anymore, but I did until five seconds ago… and he didn't. No one thinks I am anything."

"You're…"

"I'm the woman who in a moment of anger kissed the brother of her husband. Why are you his brother, why can't you be his cousin or his bessie mate. Fuck."

She went for the whisky again and then thought the better of it.

"You just found out your husband is maybe cheating, thanks to me, then I do this. I understand what it looks like…. Like I…."

"Planned this? Seriously Liam, I'd never imagine you to be that calculating," she almost laughed. "But that doesn't change the fact…"

"I can't do this," he said.

"What?"

"All of it," he said. "I can't pretend I'm sorry for him, or even for you right now."

She nodded. "Does it seem like I need that?! I'm scared Liam. I'm fucking terrified that before I even lose that no good brother of yours I will lose you n'all… because I couldn't control my self from mauling you and then-" She paused noticed what looked like a hiccup. Upon another look, she saw, he was stifling a laugh.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me, Liam."

"Just…." he let out a laugh and leaned against the opposite desk.

"What the hell is funny?"

"This. Us. And you… mauling me."

"You're flattered and giggling…. "

"Apparently you couldn't control yourself, Carla." He said with those stupid blue eyes twinkling at her. "I wasn't sorry but I knew I should say it since I kissed you… but apparently I'm the victim of a mauling and you could not help yourself so…"

She picked up a pen and threw it at him. He laughed. She picked up another two and then another and tossed them all at him. He dodged all but one and then she laughed as well. Close to the biggest stress relief she could imagine.

"Next is the stapler if you don't shut your mouth and stop making me…" she gave in and fell into the giggles she'd failed to hold back.

"Ow."

He rushed to her side. "What is it?"

"Well," she smiled as she gasped a bit. "Oww… well, I haven't laughed this much since being scraped out and so, ouch! Wow, good thing you're usually not that funny huh."

He stroked her hair and let his eyes lock on her.

"Liam…"

"Why don't we sit and have a drink."

"Why?"

"So I can prove to you that it will take more than our shared insanity to get rid of me."

He wasn't sorry and he wasn't sure where and what he would allow himself to do next but he wasn't about to let her feel like it was Paul or him. He didn't want to be her revenge. He didn't even know what he could handle beyond the feeling of this moment and he saw how broken she'd been just moments ago from whatever the hell Paul did or didn't do with her paperwork.

"Earth to Liam?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Here." He said, "Always. Like I said I'd be."

At this she leaned closer to him. Those stupid blue eyes, that stupid crooked grin and messed hair. That person that was there beside her and remained when no one else would. Thirty bloody seconds ago the only thing she could think of was that she'd never wanted to kiss someone more in her entire life but she'd never felt more sick at the idea of it as well.

Revenge was a beautiful idea until it made her appear even worse than Paul to anyone who would know. They'd say, sure, you had to get your own back but with his brother? Surely not, Carla. How could you?! No one cared what men did, and everyone cared what a loud woman did. Paul could beat someone to death and someone somewhere would excuse it, but she could sneeze the wrong way and be loathed. Sure, it sounded hyperbolic but it didn't feel it. It was one thing to stoop to his low but this would outdo him in nearly everyone's opinion. And Liam… she just kept having this panic in her chest that blood is so much thicker than water and despite wanting him so badly just then, one day he'd think her nothing more than some trash slapper who ruined his relationship with his beloved asshole of a brother. She wanted to believe he'd never betray her that way but that family was so fucking close in the most irritating and dysfunctional ways. Passive aggressive loathing and yet intense loyalty. Like the bloody mafia. "The Connor-corleones" she thought to herself.

But now, all he had to say was that he was always there and she could make herself risk it all for one more moment of comfort. Maybe she had her mother's will power, or lack thereof, after all.

Before she could test that theory and lean any closer, her mobile rang.

He looked at it, vibrating and buzzing like a damn sodding monster bee over and over. It was Paul, they both knew before even reading the caller iD, because of course it was.

"Always did have the best timing," Liam muttered, looking more stricken than he'd like to let on.

She moved toward the phone and paused. What was less hurtful, what said too much? Answering? Ignoring it? She looked at Liam for permission and hated herself for it.

He didn't say or do a thing, he just seemed frozen and tired.

She picked it up and hoped he'd just hang up, but after what felt like the one millionth ring, she answered. "Yes?"

"Well that's a fine way to answer. Always sweet, my wife." she felt the bile rising, she felt like whatever was left inside her wanted to come out now.

"Yes?" She said again.

"Charming. Listen, I called 'Chelle and she said she was out with you, but that you went home hours ago. Though you're not here."

"Worried?"

"Well, I am your husband so I do try." He was only partially sarcastic and that was the thing, the man really did maybe believe all of that. That he was trying.

How violent could a stomach feel before one wretched, she wondered, because at that moment now was possibly the sickest she'd ever felt. Liam looked worse. Sitting at the edge of his desk, head bowed down like in a desperate prayer or equally strong urge to wretch, he only inhaled slowly and shook his head so slightly she almost missed it. He could hear him, she knew, her phone was loud and the factory deathly quiet.

"All okay?"

"Yup," she lied. "I will be home soon."

"Okay, I have an early meeting with Tim and Robin tomorrow about a new set of orders so I may be in bed by the time you get in, but I'm there."

"Okay." She said. "Robin with an i or y?"

"I," he said. "Y left the country a while back."

"Right," she said. "Okay, Goodnight."

"Night."

He hung up and felt herself shiver. That one small and pathetic fantasy of leaving him with her head held high, wearing killer heels and a fuck you grin, that fantasy was gone. She knew the moment she'd heard his voice it would never end in the way she'd told herself it would - had it needed to come to that.

"Come on, I'll drive you home."

She nodded.

The drive was short but felt like the same panic-filed eternity she'd known just before surgery. Worse.

She had this strange feeling when they pulled into the car park of her building that she was a kid again, coming home to a house filled with lies and alcohol after a weekend of fun and laughs at a friend's functional home for a sleepover. It felt unfair and yet like the curse she'd accepted as her lot.

I want to be adored played on the radio and she stifled her ironic laugh.

Before she could get out, Liam placed his hand on hers. He said nothing, a side glance and then both remained fixed at the blackened scene in front of them. The nothingness of night without much of a moon in a dirty corner of a car park where one street lamp was burnt out.

They sat for a few moments, she wasn't sure how long, and his hand just rested on hers and her fingers gently stroked his.

"[music] I don't need to sell my soul, He's already in me. I want to be adored."

TBC