"Beheeyem. Report."

Colress sits perched on the edge of the chair, laptop open and coffee ready. His lab coat lays haphazardly on the back of the couch where he had tossed it. There's no need for such appearances, such petty social signifiers in one's own home.

The pokemon stands across from him, wearing an apparatus of his own creation, a pokemon translator. Not an original idea by any means and hardly the first of its kind, but that doesn't make its purpose any less important. One might look at it and think of it as redundant. This is a Psychic-type pokemon after all. Transmitting thoughts and feelings come as easy as levitating an apple. Colress had certainly agreed with that line of thought.

At least, he had until he received his first telepathic report.


Beheeyem had been Elgyem back then. The mother of one of his test subjects had been quite adamant about Colress staying away from her. Constantly circling, even threatening bodily harm with blunt objects. It was all very tiresome, so he exploited the obvious loophole and sent Elgyem to observe in his place. Then, much like the present, he had waited at home eagerly, ready to transcribe every single detail. Thus, when Elgyem returned, it dutifully forwarded its memories directly into his mind.

The vomiting and splattered coffee that had resulted in ruining his tablet was unpleasant, but not nearly as terrible as the experience itself. It was the feeling of being torn out of your very world and your perception of it and being hastily pasted onto someone else's. Hours were not meant to be unloaded in an instant. Colress had been lost in the entirety, unable to sift it down to find the details he wanted. The inability to filter out the foreign feelings and distinguish what was truly his own was also sickening. How could he even begin to make an accurate report without his own precise discernment? When he finally regained the ability to be present, he had peppered the pokemon with questions.

'Why is this part relevant?' and other derivatives of it were asked in vain. Elgyem would simply send him replays of the portion he had asked about. It was equivalent to asking a teacher how they got an answer to an equation, only for the teacher to point to that answer in response. Very unhelpful. Pokemon can be taught to understand human languages, but having the skill to use them is a far more difficult task. Lacking such ability, Elgyem could only convey its experiences in this inefficient, bare-step-up-from abstract method. Words are what make thoughts and feelings concrete, tangible, digestible. They certainly would have made completing his notes easier.

It had taken days of painstakingly repeating the memories over and over before he could extract the essential, never quite able to shake the discomfort of having to inhabit and interpret another's perspective.

That was when he had decided. Yes. Collecting data himself was, is, and forever would be the most efficient method.

That being the case, how was he to deal with those situations in which people found him distasteful? So distasteful that they would interfere with his research? Luckily, the answer once again was Elgyem. It just needed to evolve, to heighten its psychic powers. This wasn't a difficult task. Unova had no shortage of trainers, or trubbish to practice on. Finally, it came time to put those memory-altering capabilities to the test.


He was being yelled at again.

"Stop following me!"

"A fucking camera?! Why are you even—?!"

"I'm calling the police!"

The boy ran, all stumbly and awkward in the sand, fumbling with his Xtransciever. His sweaty hands weren't doing him much good. Thankfully for Colress, it gave him time to send out Beheeyem and Magneton. Test subjects were always jumping to the most aggravating of conclusions. They never understood that all he wanted to do was observe. Sure, he did a bit of influencing here and there. Giving little gifts and suggestions that would undoubtedly bring out their pokemon's power. But how else would he test out his hypotheses?

The police weren't a new threat, but this was the first time that someone had been serious about getting them involved, and that just wouldn't do. A Thunder Wave was all that was needed to subdue him. By the time Colress had strolled over to him, the boy had already fainted. Good. That saved a step.

Beheeyem did its work flawlessly, rearranging and reinterpreting, giving the test subject a most favorable impression of Colress. Upon awakening, the boy thanked him.

"If it wasn't for you, I would have died out here! Thanks!"

The boy's cheeks reddened and he scratched the back of his head shyly.

"Y-you know. We keep running into each other, don't we? Why don't you just c-come with me on my journey? You're hoping to see some gym battles, yeah? Nimbasa isn't too far away."

Wonderful! It worked! His research was able to continue undisrupted. It was too bad that this test subject had ended up being a failure, unable to overcome the fifth gym.


"I HAD DIFFICULTY."

Beheeyem begins its report, snapping Colress back to the present. He flexes his fingers, letting them ghost over the keys. How curious. It's never had trouble before.

"Why? What gave you difficulty?"

"INTERFERENCE. IN HER MIND."

"What sort of interference?"

"UNKNOWN. COLD. ICE. NOT HER."

Ice? Colress stops. If any pokemon could meddle with Beheeyem's alterations, then it would have to be a Psychic-type, wouldn't it? Maybe one that irrationally employs ice imagery? He ponders. No, not necessarily. There are Psychic-types that are also Ice-types. In all the records he's been able to find, Iris has only ever owned Dragon-types. Maybe she had one hiding somewhere? But that would be absurd! There's no way she could have anticipated what he was going to do! He hadn't even planned on it until she gave him the opportunity herself. The probability of it being some wild pokemon wandering around in her backyard was more likely than that. More information is needed.

"Describe it."

"ICE. HAIL. FROST. SNOW. POWERFUL."

With a sigh, Colress rubs his temple. He uses his other hand to continue typing, though there isn't much point. The only new clue is 'powerful,' but there are plenty of pokemon that could overpower Beheeyem. He decides a different line of questioning is in order.

"If this interference was so powerful, how were you able to complete your rewriting?"

". . ."

Beheeyem looks down at the floor. Its digits blink hesitantly.

"SLOPPY JOB. SLAPDASH. REWRITING BEGAN AS NORMAL. THEN WAS NOTICED. HAD TO HURRY. GOT IMPORTANT BITS. . .I THINK. . ."

"Unfortunate. She seemed receptive enough."

Abruptly, he stands, eyes wide, almost knocking over his untouched coffee. Colress paces. Beheeyem was rushed, its job being far less than stellar. That means it's likely that the rewrite could become undone. Highly likely if one considers the fact that there's a strong pokemon protecting her mind. And if that happens…!

Lead on Kyurem gone.

Test subject for his personal research gone.

No! That absolutely could not happen! He'd have to work fast! So many things to uncover and such little time.

Hastily, Colress types out a message on his Xtransciever and sends it. Sitting back down, he opens up an anonymizing browser. He'll need supplies if he wants to make this work.


"Done."

He sips his coffee and grimaces. Cold. Dumping the rest down the sink, Colress glances at his Xtransciever. Iris had better answer soon.


Author's notes: Colress gets even more creepy to the surprise of no one. He is really into his research. He was the one who said, "And yes, if the entire world is destroyed as a result, then so be it…" in BW2 after all.