Hello, my lovely readers! Here it is... the first chapter ever that I post without checking it back with my dear beta cosette141! And it's a long one, too. Ahh... please, let me know what you think at the end! :)
Happy reading...
-Chapter 6-
The next day, Sheldon and Amy had agreed to meet for discussions about some of Sheldon's latest reports for his physics class. While he was usually looking forward to seeing her, now with his sister urging him to find out what's bothering Amy, Sheldon experienced an uncommon bout of nervousness previous to this study date.
He had absolutely no idea how he should steer the conversation away from physics – something he wouldn't do in any case – and towards Amy's alleged problem. Somehow it felt like a complete loss of control for Sheldon; initiating a conversation without having any clue where it would eventually lead. And he didn't like that feeling one bit.
"Shelly, Amy just arrived." Mary said cheerfully upon opening the door to the twin's room. "Her mother told me that you two will apparently talk about your college studies again?"
Rats, Sheldon thought. Why does Amy's mother have to be so nosy? "Uhm… I-I… we…" he stuttered, unable to lie to his mother.
"Yes!" Missy, who had been in the room with Sheldon, going over some last-minute talking advice, exclaimed quickly. She knew her brother all too well. "Yes, they will talk about college. Sheldon told me. Oh… hi, Amy."
"Hello, Missy." Amy waved, a faint ghost of a smile on her face as she stepped in after Mary.
Missy continued to widen her eyes at her brother, unmistakably showing everyone that she tried to communicate through, what she called, 'twin-telepathy'. But Sheldon just looked at her blankly, causing Missy to roll her eyes. "Grow some balls for once and talk to her." she hissed quietly and much too close to Sheldon's ear for his liking.
"Anyway," Missy then announced to everyone. "Since I don't understand anything about college stuff, I will go and… uhm, help Mom in the kitchen." Self-confidently, she strode towards the door.
"What was that all about?" Mary asked suspiciously.
"Just… be glad that I help, Mom." Missy said, ushering her confused-looking mother out.
Amy frowned at the closed door, obviously a little puzzled herself. But she shook herself out of it. "So…" she said, turning around to face Sheldon again who was sitting at the edge of his bed with his fists clutched tightly at his sides. "Mom will certainly question me later, so… tell me what's the current topic of your research?"
Sheldon opened his mouth, but his throat immediately ran dry, making him struggle to get a word out.
Amy's frown deepened. "Are you okay?"
"Of course." Sheldon blurted out. "I… uhm, I-I just don't want to talk about physics today."
Amy tilted her head, looking bewildered. "Are you sure you're not getting sick?"
"I actually do feel a bit light-headed, b-but that's beside the point right now."
"O-kay…" Amy said slowly. "So, what do you want to talk about?"
He really tried then, but all Sheldon managed to get out were unintelligible stutters.
Amy's frown of confusion merged to worry. "Hmm, maybe we should rather do something fun and light, like playing a game. You really seem to be out of character today. How about a few rounds of Counterfactuals to kick-start your brain?" Amy suggested.
Oh, that's brilliant, Sheldon thought. Counterfactuals was a game they invented, but no one except them seemed to be able to comprehend it. Although, it's very simple. One just comes up with a fact that is different in a hypothetical world and the other has to pinpoint the ramifications this altered fact makes to this world.
A plan formed in Sheldon's mind how he could approach the unwanted, difficult subject ahead of him. "Yes, let's play." he agreed quickly. "As a matter of fact, I already have a question ready for you."
Amy turned the chair of Sheldon's desk around to face him and sat down in it. "Fire away." she said.
"Okay… uhm… so, in a world…" Sheldon paused to gather some courage. "In a world in which Amy Farrah Fowler doesn't seem to be interested in biology anymore… which incident must have happened previously?"
Amy's face fell. "This is against the rules." she said dryly. "It's a personal question considering the real world and not a hypothetical one. You're not allowed to do that."
"It's our game; we make the rules." Sheldon countered. "And also… this would mean that it's true. There actually is an incident that caused you to lose interest." he detected.
"This is not funny, Sheldon." Amy whispered while dejectedly looking into her lap.
"I didn't intent to be funny, I'm…" He barely stopped himself before he could say the word 'worried'. Sheldon Cooper does not worry. "I'm merely curious." he ended instead.
"Then I'm afraid you will remain curious, because I won't answer your question. There's nothing that needs to be discussed about that." Amy insisted.
"Are you sure?"
"Quite. I'm fine." she said.
Sheldon almost dropped the subject then. It would have been so easy. He happily could have moved on to his interesting research instead of dealing with emotional talk… but then he remembered what Missy said:
"Something is wrong with Amy. She's not herself anymore. I bet if you would ask her and you wouldn't take her crap about 'being fine' then she would tell you."
Sheldon took a closer look at Amy, observing how she wouldn't meet his eyes and remembering that she hasn't really smiled since she entered the room.
Oh dear, how did Missy get into my head so easily? Sheldon wondered.
He took a deep breath. "Well, too bad." he firmly said to Amy. "Because I won't let it go. Missy and I noticed that you're different. It's quite unsettling. You were always so passionate about your interests, but now you hardly seem to care."
"That's not true." Amy huffed. "I just don't brag about every little discovery I make like you do."
Sheldon clenched his teeth in annoyance. It was really hard not to say something insulting now, but he realized that fighting wouldn't aid his quest to find out what's wrong with Amy. And as of now, there was no more denying that there indeed was something amiss. "I will disregard that predication. You're just trying to distract me."
Amy rolled her eyes. "You choose now to be socially attentive?"
Sheldon ignored her. "Amy, please. I have to know what is bothering you. I could help you."
"No, you can't!" Amy wailed angrily. "It wouldn't change anything. You can't help me. No one can. I will deal with this alone!"
"Amy, don't be ridiculous. It was you who told me that talking about problems will increase the chance of solving them." Sheldon lectured. "And we're the smartest kids in the whole state of Texas. Surely, we can find a solution to whatever problem—"
Amy cut him off. "No, you don't understand!" She jumped up from the chair, her whole body shook with anger. "This has nothing to do with intelligence!"
Startled, Sheldon jerked back, realizing with horror that there were tears glistening in the corners of Amy's eyes. No one prepared him for crying!
A lot quieter Amy continued talking, "It doesn't matter how smart we are. In the end we're just kids. Helpless and doomed to be dictated by adults." The anger had left her now and all that was left was pure sadness.
Sheldon frowned, contemplating her words. Finally, realization dawned on his face. "This is about your mother, isn't it?"
Her answer was a violent tremble of her bottom lip and a fresh wave of actual tears running down her cheeks. Without a word, Amy wiped them away and ran over to hide by the side of Missy's bed.
Sheldon couldn't see her anymore from where he was standing, but he surely was able to hear her. Amy sobbed. Quiet and strangled, trying to muffle her cries. But she failed.
Sheldon was frozen on the spot, rendered completely speechless by the situation he suddenly found himself in. He never thought it would come to tears. Amy usually wasn't very emotional; just like him. In the rare occurrence of pain or sadness, the only one who was able to comfort Sheldon was his mom or Meemaw.
But what should he do with a crying Amy Farrah Fowler?
I can't comfort her; I'm just a child, Sheldon reasoned. I don't know what to do. Frantically, he searched his mind for an acceptable solution to his dilemma. He thought about telling his mom, but somehow it didn't feel right. Maybe Amy wouldn't appreciate her comfort, because it was her own mother who caused her tears.
Amy's continuing, heartbreaking sobs made Sheldon's chest feel heavy and constricted. Panic rose within him. I need to make this stop. I need to do something!
Ultimately deciding on giving in to his instincts, Sheldon carefully stepped around Missy's bed until he could see Amy crouching next to it.
She had pulled her legs to her body and hid her face with both of her arms which she had slung around her knees. Her back was shaking with sobs. Sheldon's panic increased dramatically, but, despite all odds, he found himself unable to turn his back upon her; now even less than before. He wanted her to feel better. He wanted to help.
Hesitantly, Sheldon stepped even closer, wrinkling his nose at the prospect of having to sit on the floor – in front of Missy's bed no less – but he figured that he simply had to change his pants afterwards. He sat down next to Amy, just staring at her while she showed no signs of noticing him.
For a moment he felt at a loss again. Should I hug her like mom uses to do? No, I can't touch her like that without her permission, he pondered. Eventually, Sheldon decided for a comforting pat. He awkwardly raised a trembling hand to lightly touch her arm. "There, there…" he whispered tentatively.
Surprisingly to him, Amy's sobbing actually ceased for the moment and she reluctantly looked up to him. Her eyes were red and wet as were her cheeks. Sheldon didn't know what else he could say to her, so he simply continued to look inquiringly and concerned.
"Comforting me must have cost you quite an effort, right?" Amy said quietly.
"Uhm… well, it's… it's not something I'm particularly… skilled at." Sheldon mumbled, blushing a bit.
"And yet you did it."
"Uh… I-I guess so." Sheldon felt like kicking himself for stumbling through his speech like an idiot, but he couldn't help himself.
Amy smiled for a nanosecond. "Thank you." she whispered earnestly.
Sheldon felt a warm sensation coursing through him, boosting his confidence. "No problem at all." he said. "Now, tell me what's bothering you. I promise to listen carefully."
"Fine." Amy sniffled a bit and wiped her tears away before staring darkly ahead. "You know that… my mother… is obviously very traditional and stiff in her thoughts and beliefs."
Sheldon dutifully nodded his head in understanding and Amy continued.
"Well, ever since I attended high school, she is even more strict in finding out what exactly I learn at school. She discovered my specific interests in biology and the human nature and she…" Amy paused, looking downwards as if she was ashamed. "She thinks it's dirty and very indecent for a girl to study things like that."
"So… she forbids you from studying further?" Sheldon inquired.
Another lonely tear rolled down Amy's cheek. "Whenever she catches me reading my biology books or-or even my medieval tales about more mature themes, she… she…"
Sheldon noticed that Amy's trickle of tears merged into a stream again and she struggled to get her words out. Instinctively, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it… only to be startled in the same moment by his action. Blinking, he stared at their joined hands, but before he could pull back or apologize, Amy held onto him and continued talking.
"She locks me up in the sin closet." she whispered.
Sheldon was so puzzled that he let go of Amy's hand. "What's a sin closet?" he asked with a frown.
"It's… it's just a closet, really; the one in our living room." Amy explained. "I have to g-go in there t-to think about the sinful things I've done. Mom hopes that this will eventually make me stop reading about biology."
"But you won't give in to that, right?" Sheldon spoke up indignantly.
Amy hugged her knees tighter against her chest. "I really tried to resist her at first." she said. "But it's very dark in there and I-I'm getting afraid of sitting in this cramped space for hours, having nothing to do but hoping that it wouldn't be too long this time before she lets me out. I can't do it anymore." Amy started crying anew. "Now, I even get scared at night in my own bed. I have night terrors and the only thing that prevent those is reading books under my blanket with a flashlight. But when Mom catches me, I have to go into the closet again. It's a vicious cycle!" Amy shrieked, her whole body trembling violently.
Now Sheldon didn't see another option. He had to do from what he shied away earlier. Amy's cries worsened and she was shaking and sobbing relentlessly. There was no other way to stop severe emotions like that.
Sheldon scrambled to sit on his legs, so he'd be slightly taller than Amy, and put his left arm around her back. The right arm rested upon her pulled up knees as he hugged her.
He couldn't say anything; his throat was completely dry. But he noticed that he also didn't have to. Involuntarily, Amy leaned against Sheldon's side, her head coming to rest on his small shoulder.
She sobbed and he held her. No words were spoken.
After an indefinable length of time, Amy's sobbing ceased and she sat up straighter again. Tentatively, Sheldon removed his arms from around her and continued to sit there silently, waiting for a response.
Amy clenched her fists, nervously looking around on the floor as if she expected to find an answer lying there. Finally, she cleared her throat, but she couldn't find the courage to look at him when she spoke. "I apologize for my unusual display of emotions. That must have been very awkward for you."
Sheldon abruptly shook his head. Somehow that wasn't the reaction he expected. "It's okay… I… I'm glad that I was able to help you after all." When Amy questioningly looked up to him, he added, "Well, at least you're not crying anymore."
That actually made her smile a bit. "Right. Thank you." she whispered.
"And I can do even more." Sheldon stated.
Amy looked skeptical. "Really? Not even Dad dares to say something. What can you do?"
"I guess I'm powerless against your mother," Sheldon admitted. "But maybe I could help you to at least make this horrendous parenting method as bearable as possible."
"Go on." Amy required curiously.
"Well… when I get excluded from games my brother and sister play, I find comfort in my work and in books and papers from famous physicists. That's why I believe that you definitely shouldn't retreat from biology."
"But how—" Amy started to whine.
"Just… let me finish."
"Okay… sorry."
Sheldon continued. "In order to quell your fears in the closet, you could sneak in some books to read and a dim light. Or maybe some pencils to write; you've mentioned before that writing has a calming effect on you. I used to imagine worlds in which I'd be heroic when I was bored in high school. That's also a great distraction from the misunderstanding dull reality you have to face every day."
Amy's tears had dried and the curious spark that returned to her green eyes made her look more and more like herself again. "That sounds like a really great idea." she said. "But Sheldon… my mother conditioned me too long already. I learnt to hate and fear that closet. I can't go near it."
"That shouldn't be a problem. I'll help you to hide whatever you need in there." Sheldon suggested nonchalantly.
Amy's entire face lit up. "You would do that?"
Sheldon sat up straighter. "Mom always tries to raise me to be a proper Southern gentleman. That'll show her that I already am." he said proudly.
"I feel the urge to hug you again, Sheldon." Amy said, smiling brightly. A true, genuine Amy-smile that Sheldon had missed for the last weeks. He didn't even have to think long for a reply.
"Okay." he said.
What followed, however, was a bone-crushing grip that almost made him regret his consent. "Ok-kay… let's try… not to r-ruin this moment b-by even more effervescent emotions." Sheldon gasped between breaths.
Amy and Sheldon waited for the rare occurrence of Karen Fowler being out of the house for an extended period of time before they were able to put their plan into action.
Larry Fowler, Amy's father, turned a blind eye to their doings by the living-room closet and preferred to smile conspiratorially as Sheldon, armed with some gloves against the dust, hid some of Amy's books in the backmost corner of the closet.
When Karen returned home in the afternoon, she was shocked to find Sheldon in Amy's room. Both were conversing joyfully while Amy named the functions of different parts of the human brain on her plastic model.
Because she didn't authorize visitors for Amy – and least of all, Sheldon – Karen proceeded to officially ban him from her property. But Amy's mood couldn't even be spoiled by that; she was simply happy that Sheldon helped her with the sin closet.
"Now, we can sneak around behind her back." Amy later said excitedly to Sheldon. "Like those teenagers in the movies Missy had shown me."
"I don't see what seems to be so appealing to you about this. I'm not a rule breaker." Sheldon pointed out. "That's Missy's métier."
"Hey, I disagree!" Missy declared.
Sheldon looked at his sister incredulously. "You don't even know what I'm talking about."
"I stand by my statement." she said with her nose held up high.
Amy laughed. The three kids were playing in the Coopers' backyard. Or rather, Missy was swinging, Amy was pushing her and Sheldon watched them, lecturing about the laws of gravity and the impossibility of Missy making a full circle on the swing despite her best efforts.
"I just wanted to convey that we would still meet at your house. And there's nothing my mother can do about it because I'm telling her that I only meet up with Missy." Amy said sneakily.
"That's true." Sheldon remarked. "Although, I still don't understand why your mother despises me so much. I'm a delight!"
"Hey, if you want to be like the teenagers in the movies then Sheldon would be your boyfriend." Missy said to Amy while grinning mischievously at her brother.
Amy missed the swing at that and Missy bumped against her chest, making her stumble backwards a bit.
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Sheldon exclaimed. "Amy and I are just good friends. Our species of Homo Novus is way too advanced to fall for something as trivial as interpersonal relationships."
"Okay." Missy shrugged. "Fool yourselves. But that's where I'm the expert, smarty-pants."
A look over her shoulder revealed to Missy that both, Sheldon and Amy, were fighting to get their blushes under control. Knowingly, she grinned.
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