I know I probably sound repetitive, but I thank you all again for your nice reviews! Keep 'em coming! ;)
Also, I really tried to update more than once a week (since you deserve quick updates), but I can't do it. I need time to reread and correct the chapters a few times, otherwise I don't feel like I really put out the best chapters I possibly can. :)
Hope you like this next one, too. It's a long one...
-Chapter 13-
Despite the principal frowning upon their friendship, Amy and Sheldon met up anyway during the weekend to explore the city. It wasn't like Professor Kingsley would follow them in their spare time.
He also couldn't per se forbid Amy to voluntarily pick up physics as a minor field of study. Sheldon's class was mainly reserved for undergrad physics students, but since the classes hardly met their limits of capacity it was usually free for other students or teachers to sit in.
It was what Amy was doing just now. Perched on the edge of her seat in a big, oval lecturing hall, she supported her head with her hand under her chin, listening intently to the steady, calm tone of Sheldon's voice as he was describing the different kinds of subatomic particles in the standard model.
Most of his complicated equations that he wrote on the large, green board behind him went over her head, but Amy was fascinated by his explanations and was able to follow his words better than his math.
Sheldon wasn't always this calm and confident in front of the class, though.
In the beginning, he was very nervous and hid his insecurity by going way too deep into the matter of his curriculum, throwing his big words around like weapons and never stopping for the desperate, at times quite irritated, questions of his students.
Principal Kingsley had a very stern word with him about his attitude in class, but Sheldon insisted that it wasn't his fault that those dim pupils couldn't keep up with him. Only when Amy explained to him that the students were looking up to him, trying to learn and understand him and that it was his job to help them succeed, Sheldon gave in.
Since then, Amy and Sheldon spent many weekends alone in different, unoccupied lecturing halls, making dry runs of Sheldon's speeches with Amy pointing out to him how he should present himself.
As it turned out, an aspiring neuroscientist with insight of the human brain and a genius particle physicist who's too far ahead for his peers, make an excellent team. But, of course, they knew that from the start.
After initial troubles and disagreements, they ended up having lots of fun with the practice runs and it showed in Sheldon's classes. Amy smiled as she thought back to the last months of adjusting and learning and felt a swell of pride within her as she listened to Sheldon now. Sometimes, he would catch her glance and he smiled back. Just faintly, so no one would notice.
As Amy took a look around in the auditorium, she noticed that she wasn't the only one who benefitted from Sheldon's change of attitude in class. The students were interested and concentrated and they asked intelligent questions, which Sheldon answered patiently. Although, he sometimes tended to burst into long, elaborated speeches that left the inquirer blinking slowly and confused, like a toddler who can't figure out how the funny uncle got his nose.
Amy found that highly amusing. It also caused the weirdest reactions to her stomach; it swirled and tickled pleasantly.
However, during today's class, Amy realized for the first time that she also wasn't the only admirer of Sheldon's intellect… the only female admirer to be exact.
There were two girls in the front row who especially stood out to Amy because of the obvious ways they were trying to get their teacher's attention. One of them, a typical blonde beauty that seemed to be wrong in a science class anyway, just blatantly stared at him with dreamily batting eyelashes. The other one, a girl with dark, curly hair, frantically scribbled down every syllable that came from Sheldon's lips only pausing to openly sigh in adoration.
Amy narrowed her eyes at them. What are they trying to do? Eat him alive like a female praying mantis? Can't they see that Sheldon isn't at all interested in their antics?
"That would be all for today, students." Sheldon declared at that moment. "I advise you to brush up your knowledge about Einstein's summation convention if you want to find out more about the interactions of particles in the standard model. Good day."
Chairs rattled and lively chatter swelled as the students were getting up and filtering out of the hall. A few of them briefly stopped at Sheldon's desk, asked some questions and then went on. But the two girls that Amy had noticed before, still lingered. Quietly, Amy sidled closer to the front, listening in on what they were saying to her best friend.
"Oh, Dr. Cooper, it's so impressive that you're so well versed in practically every matter of physics when you're barely older than we are." Blondie said enthusiastically.
"Yeah, totally." Curly added. "I mean when did you learn all about subatomic particles and quantum mechanics and all that stuff?"
"Well…" Sheldon shrugged, putting his paperwork together instead of looking at his fans. "Since quantum mechanics is an easy beginner's topic when diving into the more complex world of M-theory, I think I started at the same age as other people usually start to summate. So, I believe I was about seven."
"Ohh!" The girls squealed and giggled. "How cute."
Amy definitely saw how Sheldon rolled his eyes in exasperation, but it went unnoticed by the girls. Amy grimaced as she recognized how they were posing in front of him. Curly pressed her books against her chest, so that… certain parts of her anatomy sprang to attention, while Blondie just unnervingly played with her long, golden hair.
"I fail to see what makes you so excited and there's most definitely nothing cute about it, either." Sheldon stressed drily. "It was hard to be the only boy in first grade who even knew what physics is."
"Aww…" the girls pouted now. "We bet it was."
Amy's stomach turned upon this sickly sweet false interest. "Excuse me..." All eyes swiveled to her and to her own shock, Amy realized that it was really her who just dared to intervene. "Uh..." Amy's bravery faltered a bit upon the attention she suddenly had. "I-I don't think it is appropriate to talk to your professor like that. In fact, I reckon it's actually quite disrespectful to belittle his pre-adolescent, scientific development."
The two girls lifted their perfectly manicured eyebrows and looked up and down at Amy. She really tried very hard not to cower upon their contemptuous glare.
"Who exactly asked you of your opinion?" Blondie said dismissively.
"Mind your own business." Curly added. "You're not even a physics student, so you probably don't even know what we're talking about." she snorted.
"Ms. Carlyle, Ms. Green…" Sheldon addressed the two girls imperiously. "I can assure you that Ms. Fowler very well knows her way around physics and, moreover, I have to agree with her. I'm your professor and deserve your respect. So, since you don't seem to have any questions regarding the topic of this class, I politely ask you to leave."
Curly frowned. "Why don't you make her leave? She's always hanging behind." To Amy she said, "Waiting for a private lesson, aren't you?"
"Ms. Fowler is leaving, too." Sheldon said, distinctly putting his notes into his bag and motioning for the door.
Blondie crossed her arms and threw Amy a deadly glance while she turned away. "What are you even doing here?" she muttered under her breath, only intended for Amy to hear. "Trying to sleep your way through class?"
Sheldon's desk trembled as his bag dropped onto it with a resounding bang. He came out from behind the lectern, using his full, impressive height to darkly glower down on the blonde girl who cowardly flinched back. "Ms. Carlyle, I forbid you to make such assumptions about your fellow student! You should heed your friend's advice and mind your own business!" he growled in anger. "There's a test coming up on Friday, maybe you should rather focus on that." Sheldon extended a trembling finger towards the door. "Now leave! Both of you. And apologize to Ms. Fowler on your way out."
Intimidated, the girls sank their heads under Sheldon's suddenly stormy, blue gaze. Each of them pressed out a barely audible 'sorry' in Amy's general direction while still narrowing their eyes spitefully.
Then they left.
Amy released a breath she never realized she was holding. Despite knowing Sheldon for the better part of eight years now, she had never seen him so angry. He didn't avert his eyes from the two girls' retreating figures until they disappeared behind the door. Then he took a deep breath, took his bag again and started leaving the auditorium, too.
Amy blinked her perplexity away and hurried after him. Sheepishly, she looked around if anyone was watching them in the hallways. Although she found there was no one, she still took care that she wasn't walking too close to Sheldon, but also not too far away from him to be overheard by others.
"Thanks for defending me." she said.
"You're welcome." Sheldon replied curtly without looking at her. "I can't believe the nerve of some people." he hissed and shook his head. "Making profane assumptions like that in front of me. I should report her to Kingsley."
"Don't bother." said Amy. "He probably has his own theories about us and everyone obviously knows about the unexpressed taboo of romantic teacher-student alliances."
"What are you talking about?!" Sheldon's voice rose to a nervous high pitch, before his eyes darted around and he fell into a whisper again. "We are friends, nothing more."
Amy swallowed, feeling oddly disappointed. "I-I know. But… they don't. And I already heard some rumors spread about us being seen together so often."
"Well, that's their problem, not ours." Sheldon stated stubbornly. "I don't care what they think about us."
Amy smiled, which calmed Sheldon's fierce, blue eyes a bit. "That's nice of you to say." She paused briefly. "I still believe I shouldn't sit in on your classes anymore."
"What?" Sheldon stopped walking. Now it was him who looked disappointed and he wasn't able to hide it. "Because of those two clucking hens?"
"No… not exclusively." Amy explained. "I just think it's better that we're not seen when you're on duty, so to speak. We always meet after your classes anyway, plus, you don't need me for your performance anymore." She smiled. "You'll do great without me there, too."
Sheldon timidly shook his head, looking towards the ground. "Not true." he said and suddenly he resembled a little boy again. "I still get nervous, but I'm able to calm down with your help. Whenever I feel overwhelmed in class, I… I'm just looking for your face a-and when you smile at me… all nervousness just evaporates."
Amy's muscles went slack in an instant, causing her books to slip out of her grasp and fall to the ground.
"Oh, dear." Sheldon exclaimed, already bending down to help her collect her stuff.
"No, no." Amy hissed, heart still beating wildly. "Get up. We draw enough attention to us as it is." She quickly bent down herself to pick up her books, straightened and looked flustered into Sheldon's confused face. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she addressed him. "Sheldon, I'm confident that you don't need me to be a good teacher. I will gladly listen whenever you want to run your lectures by me first, but I need to focus on my major subjects, too. So, after this semester… I'm signing out of your class."
A variety of emotions flitted over Sheldon's face, too fast for Amy to recognize them all. He seemed sad, slightly hurt, but above all very nervous. Amy smiled at him again, calm and genuine. She would've taken his hand if there weren't so many onlookers on the corridors. "You can do this." she said to him.
Sheldon swallowed and straightened up. "If you say so." He gripped his bag a little tighter and nodded demonstratively casual. "Excuse me, Amy, I need to make a phone call now."
"Okay." she said. "See you later then."
He nodded again and left Amy standing there by herself.
Her heart was still in a flurry and the whirlwind of emotions spiraling within her after Sheldon had said those things about her, hadn't calmed down yet:
When I smile at him his nervousness evaporates? Huh, it's exactly the other way 'round when he smiles at me... I could really use a phone call with a certain person now, too.
"Hi, Ames. Has the penny dropped yet?"
Amy scrunched up her face in confusion. "What do you mean by that, Missy?"
"Soo… it hasn't." Missy giggled on the other end of the line.
Amy narrowed her eyes, although it was to no avail obviously, because Missy was on the phone several states away from her. "What penny? Are you using your urban slang again that I don't understand?"
"Never mind. Tell me what happened?" Missy demanded.
Amy cocked her head. "How do you know that something happened?"
"Because my social senses are that good. Now spill."
Still wondering, Amy shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to tell Missy about the mean girls in the physics class and how Sheldon handled the whole situation. She also told her about the arrhythmia of her heart and the apparent disappointment on Sheldon's face when she decided not to visit his classes anymore.
"And you still have no clue what's wrong with you?" Missy asked after Amy ended her narration. "Boy, I know that Sheldon is incredibly stubborn, but I thought you would be smarter than that."
"For god's sake," Amy suddenly yelled into the telephone, her patience finally wearing thin. "I'm desperate here. Stop gloating, bestie, and tell me what you know!"
"Geez, okay… no reason to yell." Missy surrendered before she meaningfully cleared her throat. "So, first of all… do you remember when you were like thirteen and Sheldon had that smarty-pants girl, Paige, over?"
Amy sat up straighter on her bed from where she was calling. "Yes." she said slowly, not liking at all where this was heading.
"Remember what I told you what your problem was?"
Amy did remember. Missy had pressured her back then to tell Sheldon, but she knew he wasn't ready to hear it. She wasn't ready, either. And yet it was so obvious. No wonder Missy laughed at her stubbornness. "That I…" Amy eventually answered shyly. "That I had been… jealous of her."
"Exactly." Missy replied. "And you know why? Because you're really… and I mean, really, smitten with my brother. Stop lying to yourself; it's a fact."
Missy's voice was suddenly very calm and serious. Usually not two adjectives that would ever go with Sheldon's bubbly twin. It surprised Amy; apparently her friend was genuinely rooting for her and Sheldon… whatever that means exactly. "B-But I… I can't… tell him that." Amy mumbled shyly. "I can't make a move. He's a teacher and I'm a student and-and… we have always been friends. Just friends. Sheldon had been very specific about that just recently." she sighed, chewing nervously on her lower lip. "What if… m-my feelings will ruin everything?"
"Okay, listen to me, girl…" Missy's tone of voice changed again and, all of a sudden, she sounded very convincingly like a stern Mary Cooper, lecturing her kids. "I know it's scary to go from friends to… more than friends, but I tell you, you have to take that risk. You'll only be even more miserable if you don't try. Don't be scared, I know for a fact that Sheldon is very fond of you, too."
That made Amy drop the phone for a second. Oh, man, I really have to get back control over my body. "W-What?" she stuttered, once she pressed the phone to her ear again.
There was short pause… then a curse. "Dammit, Sheldon will kill me."
"What a-are you saying, Missy?" Amy repeated unrelentingly. "Did you talk to Sheldon about this, too? Did he say that he…" Her heart fluttered in her chest. "That he likes me, too?"
She heard Missy taking a deep sigh on the other end of the line. "Ugh, what the hell. I'm dead anyway. Yes… yes, he called me just before you did and he made me swear on my life that I wouldn't tell you. He's nervous about the same things you are."
Now Amy's heart was rushing in her ears. Her throat closed up and she struggled to take deep breaths. He likes me. Sheldon likes me! We could be… we could be a couple. A real boyfriend/girlfriend couple like all the other teenagers. Would he want that? Could we really be like that? Would he enjoy a real first kiss on the lips?
"Amy? Amy… helloo? Earth to Amy, are you still there?"
Through the fog of her excited thoughts, Missy's voice faintly reached her ear. "Missy? Thanks for your insight on this topic. I promise I won't tell Sheldon that you told me, but I… I have to hang up now. Sorry. I… I need to figure out what to do."
She actually heard Missy's grin through the phone. "Sure. You go, girl. As long as you call me to give me all the updates. Seriously, I have to know." she stressed.
"I will. Bye, Missy." Amy said and swiftly hung up. She kept staring at her phone in shock, torn between giddy excitement and paralyzing dread. Oh my, what should I do now?
It took Amy another week to make peace with all the facts she knew now. She trained it in front of her mirror so she wouldn't freak out whenever she admitted it to herself:
I, Amy Farrah Fowler, fell for my dearest childhood friend, Sheldon Lee Cooper.
The metaphorical butterflies in her stomach were fluttering wildly whenever she thought about it. Amy began to love that feeling; it made her feel good and incredibly happy.
However, she still had no idea how to broach this subject to Sheldon. At least she knew now that it was the truth. It would explain everything. It would also explain Sheldon's reactions to her. She could only hope that he actually felt the same way about her, too.
Since Amy deemed it best if she concluded her minor subject in Sheldon's class for this semester, she was forced to witness the two eager, female students flirt with him again. Oh yes, she did call it flirting… because now she knew what's what.
Although Sheldon regularly brushed the girls off without so much as acknowledging their presence, it had been those moments of jealousy that finally pushed Amy to raise the whole uncomfortable relationship topic to him.
"So, Sheldon… what do you think about those girls in your class?"
Sheldon choked violently on his tea. Granted, her approach was painfully blunt as always, but Amy found that this brought her the quickest results.
They were sitting in a nice and tiny café, ironically only drinking tea there, outside of the immediate area of the university so they weren't seen together, working on their respective studies, when Amy dropped the bombshell.
Sheldon put the teacup back on the table and took his time to dab his chin with a napkin. "W-What?" he whisper-breathed then.
"Your female students." Amy clarified. "Despite you reprimanding them, they still seem to admire you greatly. And they're not the only ones… just the most… obvious ones."
Sheldon nervously glanced around in the almost empty coffee shop, his eyes bouncing to various immovable objects before they hesitantly focused on her again. "Uhm… is this still about those offensive things they said? B-Because I may have… asked my sister's advice and she said that you're… probably… m-maybe jealous o-of them."
Amy fought not to give her conversation with Missy away. "Really? Interesting theory." she said soberly and then paused. Sheldon looked at her carefully, almost fearful of how she would proceed. Was he holding his breath? "So?" she asked.
Sheldon blinked. "So what?"
Amy shifted nervously, intertwined her hands in front of her and clenched them. "D-Do I need to be jealous of them?" Sheldon actually paled and his eyes widened almost comically. "I mean, generally speaking, they're certainly viewed as attractive by males and y-you are a male and even if you're their teacher, you're about the same age as them, they're probably even older and-and… I…" Amy's rapid blubbering began to stutter. "I just wondered if that makes you feel… something."
She stopped. Now she was holding her breath. Sheldon's features were frozen, but she could tell that he had to fight very hard not to twitch.
"Even if it would…" he said warily. "Why would you care about that?"
Amy's mouth dropped open in shock. She hadn't reckoned that he would turn the tables on her so quickly. Damn him and his genius brain, she cursed inwardly. "Uhm… uhm…" Amy stuttered while blushing furiously. "I… was just curious… about the… the concept of romance that we… s-seem to miss out on. I thought—"
"Amy, you know that I don't care for any of those girls." Sheldon suddenly interrupted her. "Pair-bonding simply does not interest me at all."
It was like he was taking her breath away… but in a bad way. "Oh…" Amy whispered. "I mean… I-I knew that, of course." She swallowed, because, inexplicably, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I-I'm sorry… it was a stupid question."
She looked down on the table, concentrating on the words she'd written down for her essay. But the words were swimming in front of her eyes, no matter how much she was blinking. Keep it together. Please, keep it together.
"But Amy…"
His voice spoke up again, frail and shy and not more than slightly above a whisper. Amy didn't dare to look up.
"Y-You are really… very special to me." She could hear him wet his dry lips. "I'm not sure, yet, why… but… I know that you're my only friend and my best friend and I… I don't want to lose you again. So, no…"
At that he extended his hand across the table to cover her trembling fists. Abruptly, Amy looked up. His gaze was much steadier than his voice.
"You don't have to be jealous." Sheldon said.
Aww, of course, those two are slow with emotional matters in every universe, haha ;)
Kudos to cosette141 (again, haha) who guessed that Amy would, at least temporarily, end up in one of Sheldon's classes. Although, I'm sure more of you had seen that coming. ;D
