Dear adoring fans,

It is I, Apollo. I've come to bless you amazing fans with a haiku.

All da writers write

About the most amazing god

Because he is cool

I'll let you guys guess who that amazing god is. And, no, it's not you, Father!

All of you writers put me in your story of course. I mean, who wouldn't? writing about me is the best thing that will happen in your short and miserable mortal lives. YOLF! That stands for, you only live forever! (When you're a god, of course.)

Artemis tells me that I'm the most annoying god in existence! But people only write crap about her, making her look like a... well, I can't say that here. I heard that asianboiwithmath publishes these letters as rated T, whatever that means. It should be rated A, for Apollo! Or maybe rated AA for Apollo is Awesome. I've heard about your stupid mortal schools and how they give out this thing called grades. HAH! We gods don't have to go through school. You humans think you've come soooo far. Yet you are nothing more than an ant to us gods.

One day, one of the gods will get angry at you, (cough cough, I'm looking at you, Father) and you will disintegrate into ashes. Of course, I will do my best to protect the writers of me.

I heard that Rick Riordan is the storyteller of the gods. I might get him to write a story about me. Maybe about the recent, ah, embarrassing events that have happened. Yes, I will call them "The Trials of Apollo."

You humans better enjoy that book.

Or else I will smite you,

the hottest god of all, Apollo.


A/N: Apollo is honestly my favorite god to "receive letters from." So very funny. (Half-hearted) XD.

See you guys in... hmm. It will probably take about 5 seconds to skip to the next chapter.

See you guys in 5 seconds!