Dear fanfiction,

Hello, dear readers. I am Chiron. Not Charon, Chiron. Merendinoemiliano requested for a letter from me. I don't have much to talk about, so I will give you an update on what's going on at Camp Half-Blood.

Recently, our dining pavilion and everything around it was destroyed by the Colossus Neurotic. Apollo's… problem brought it here. No, I am not saying it's his fault. He actually defeated the massive statue.

Fortunately, our Hephaestus and Athena kids rebuilt the dining pavilion even better than before. It has new marble columns, cushioned seats (Mr. D: Finally. You annoying brats did something good for once.), and a new floor. The crack that Mr. di Angelo made was patched. Somehow, word got out that it was Nico. It was there for so long that the campers started calling it Hades' Crack.

(SomnusTagus:

Leo on his first day at Camp: "What's that?"

Will: "Oh, that's Hades' Crack. We woke up one day and poof! Crack."

Leo: "Did you name it Crack so that we can crack jokes about it?"

Will cracked a smile. Will: "That's Camp Half-Blood for you."

Leo cracked a smile as well.

He or she is not very sorry for giving me the inspiration for this.)

Our dear campers are very fine. No more trees that whispered in their heads, no more Labyrinth (or so we think). Everything is peaceful here. We're finally getting a break after all those years of war preparations and war. They're back to their normal activities.

Oh, and here are our guests, Artemis and Thalia.

I'll let asianboi take over.

-Chiron


Artemis and Thalia walked into the Big House, where they saw Chiron sitting in a wheelchair and writing a letter. Chiron looked up.

"Ah, Lady Artemis, Lieutenant Thalia, welcome. You're just in time," Chiron said.

Artemis looked at the letter. "Oh. So you're writing to asianboi, too. He/she is a good person."

"You mean you don't know asianboi's gender?" (Me from the future evilly laughing as I reread my own stories)

"There are some things beyond the power of the gods."

"Yes, Lady Artemis. Shall I get the soap?" Chiron glanced at Thalia to see her reaction. She blanched.

"W-wait, you were serious about that?" Thalia stuttered. "No way. I'm not doing it."

Artemis ignored her and Chiron excused himself to go get soap.

"Thalia, you know why we're doing this. You can't displease the community. There are things far more powerful than gods out there," Artemis said without looking at her second-in-command.

"But Milady!" Thalia whined.

Chiron wheeled himself back into the room holding a bar of Dove soap and dishwashing soap. He had that glint in his eyes that he got whenever he was going to do something entertaining. Percy had described it once. He said it scared him.

Thalia started to back up. "Oh, no. Oh, shi-" (This is why we're doing it.)

She reddened. "Ah, I meant... shizdoodle...?"

Chiron smiled and held out the two items for Artemis to take. "Which do you think we should use to wash her mouth with?"

Artemis grinned back. "Thalia's choice."

The daughter of Zeus was cornered. Literally and figuratively. She backed up into a corner. "Um, I choose the dishwashing soap because it says 'for sensitive skin.'"

Thalia took the bottle with shaky hands and opened the cap. Everyone started gagging at the smell. "No! Can I choose the bar soap?"

"NO!" Artemis and Chiron said simultaneously.

Thalia sighed and tipped the bottle back. The clear blue liquid inside started moving slowly towards her mouth.

The moment it touched her tongue, Thalia spit it out and reached for a cup of water. "OH MY GODS! HOLY CARP! HADES' GYM SHORTS!" She started spewing profanities and chugged the water, which only made it worse. She spit that back out along with a bunch of bubbles.

Thalia just stared blankly in shock. "My mouth... just got a bubble bath... with extra gasoline."

Chiron and Artemis laughed while Thalia tried to rinse out the taste.

"Oh my gods, Thalia! Your face when you tasted the soap! HAHAHA!" Artemis laughed.

Chiron doubled over (as far as he could in a wheelchair) and almost toppled forward. Thalia just ran out of the room and slammed the door behind her.


A/N: You guys asked for it. I gave it. Happy? I just made Thalia gargle with dishwashing soap. It's traumatizing.

I did research on the most disgusting type of soap!

MythBeliever101 (amerrycan hiding! Good to see you!): Thanks! I dunno my gender as well! ...er, what?

Butterflies765: I write fanfiction to make people smile; it's good to know that I am succeeding! Oh, and thanks for the contribution to my 50 review goal! And it seems that everyone doesn't know my gender...

50 reviews by 2020! WE CAN DO IT!

45 reviews! Thank you all, and I love you guys!

Bye!

-asianboiwithmath