Chapter 7: Festivities

/

Tanya was wringing the water from her hair, studying her reflection in the fogged-up mirror.

It was always strange seeing herself in the mirror. She never quite knew what to feel. She's had three different faces on three different bodies. Thankfully though, her current form was at least similar to her last one. So her adjustment period had been a relatively painless affair this time around.

Nothing would ever beat the jarring sense of panic that had dominated the early years of her second life. Having went from a tall dark-haired and dark-eyed man to that of a tiny waif of a bright-eyed blonde girl, reflective surfaces had understandably been a huge source of anxiety.

Her overall features were similar enough, pale skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. But that was where the similarities ended, her facial structure was different, sharper, higher cheekbones, a more refined nose, almond-shaped eyes. Even the shade and texture of her hair was noticeably different, now more of a golden color rather than the pale blonde it had been, with thicker, heavier, nearly pin-straight strands lacking any of her previous natural curls. The only thing that remained truly the same were the color of her eyes, still the same arctic blue.

All in all though, her features were at least similar enough that she didn't have a full-body flinch whenever she saw her reflection.

At eight and a half years old, she was nearly as tall as she had been at fourteen. A fact that made her hopeful she would one day be able to reach the top cabinets, a feat she hadn't been able to do in the last twenty-one years. Honestly, she would just be satisfied if she could wash her hands without needing a damned stepstool, another luxury she had been denied for two decades.

Banging on the door made her jump. "Hurry up! You're not the only one who needs to get clean!" Jasper one of the teens yelled through the wood.

"Sorry! I'll be out in a minute!" She called back, quickly wrapping the towel around herself and gathering the discarded clothes. Internally sighing, having to share two bathrooms between twelve kids came with its share of annoyances, always having to rush just being one of them. Luckily, however, the water heating of the 41st Millennium was more than capable of keeping up with the demand. She shuddered at the reminder of the cold showers she had to endure back in the Empire, and that was if she were lucky, more often than not having to resort to just a damp cloth.

Slipping past the irate teen, she made her way to her room to get dressed, leaving a trail of damp footprints and water droplets behind. Today was a big day and they had to look their best. It was the Planetary Governor's 100th consecutive year in office and he had declared that there would be a planet-wide parade in celebration, in fact, it was an official decree that all citizens be outside enjoying the revelries. How halting all work for a day would affect the economy, Tanya couldn't say, though surely the Governor had accounted for it when he made the decree.

That decree meant that all the orphans literally had to be out the door by midday. And trying to get a group of kids that large to meet any sort of deadline was like herding cats, an exercise of patience and frustration. Even as she slipped on her best dress, and tightened her book holster around her waist, she could hear the high-pitched screams of children looking for socks and other similarly arcane things. Passing a brush through her shoulder-length hair a few times, and she was ready.

Just in time too, as the door to the room flung open. A naked and still soaking wet Dora scampered in, door slamming shut behind her. Tanya tilted her head curiously, "What happened to your towel?"

"I don't know." She snarled at Tanya. Stomping over to the bed and grabbing the towel Tanya had used. "While I was in the shower someone snuck in and took it."

Tanya laughed. Watching Dora angrily dry herself off in the mirror.

"You think it's funny!?" She made a face at the feeling of the cold damp towel rubbing on her skin.

Tanya laughed harder. Seeing the movement in the mirror, she yelped, ducking to the side as a soggy towel splatted against the mirror. Whirling around, patting down her ruffled hair she glared at the girl. "I just got finished getting ready! Do not throw stuff at me!"

"Then don't laugh at me!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Tanya sat down on a chair in the corner of the room, watching Dora change with her arms crossed.

Dora sat on the bed with a brush in hand, fidgeting with it while shiftily sending glances at Tanya.

Tanya rolled her eyes at the girl before coming over and working the brush through her hair. How she managed to get it so tangled since she had brushed it that morning was a mystery she didn't care enough to solve.

"Blue or green ribbon?" Tanya questioned when she was done.

"Blue!" Seeing Tanyas raised brow and flat stare, she shrunk a little. "...please?"

Tanya nodded appreciatively, braiding her hair and weaving the ribbon into it. Please and thank you's costed nothing but air, yet their value was immeasurable. It was important to drum that lesson into Dora's head now, while her brain was still so soft and malleable.

"So, what do you wanna do first today?" Tanya asked as her fingers worked deftly between strands.

"I wanna go on the rides! No! I wanna see the circus! Matron Tessa said they have animals from all across the galaxy!" The girl vibrated in place. Tanya's eyes brightened as well at that information, even for her, the chance to see a real-life alien was an exciting prospect.

Though it did make her ponder, what even constituted as an alien to her? Living three lives just served to complicate what should have been a simple matter. Was an alien anything not from Sevron Nine, or anything not from Earth? If it were the latter, did that technically make her an alien? Since technically she wasn't born on earth? And if one wanted to get truly pedantic about it, wouldn't her being from a different universe entirely make every living thing an alien to her? It was an interesting conundrum. Certainly was food for thought.

She was broken from her thoughts at Dora's sharp elbow poking her stomach. "What? Sorry I was thinking of something."

"I asked what you wanted to do first."

"The food." Her response was quick, perhaps even too quick. She licked her lips at the thought of all the unique junk food the stalls would have.

Dora giggled at her response. "That doesn't count, you eat food all the time! Pick something else!" She managed between giggles.

"It counts!" Tanya exclaimed, feeling a tad defensive. "Food at these kinds of events is always amazing!"

"How would you know?" She questioned with furrowed brows. "You've never been to one either, right?"

Tanya froze momentarily, having not prepared for such a question. "I…I heard about it at school?" Even to her own ears, her response was lackluster. Dora just nodded her head sagely, so trusting of her, not even for a second entertaining the notion that perhaps Tanya was lying. Tanya felt something in her stomach wiggle at the sight. She dragged the smaller girl into her lap, hugging her tightly to her chest, resting her chin on Doras head.

"We'll have so much fun today." She promised the girl.

"Yay!" Despite the enthusiastic response, Dora squirmed in her grasp, not too keen on suddenly being treated like a stuffed animal. Tanya just squeezed tighter.

"Tanyaaaa!" Dora whined petulantly, finally relaxing into the hold. With a grin she let her go, smile widening as the girl jumped off the bed with a half hearted glare. Like an angry kitten really.

In response to her wide grin, Dora bent over and whipped a pillow off the floor at Tanyas head.

A very angry kitten, indeed.

/

The city streets were almost unrecognizable, decorations and banners were everywhere, and stalls lined every corner, selling everything from food to the newest Data Slates.

Tanya and Dora migrated from attraction to attraction. Kassandra trailed after them, the Matrons had insisted they needed someone to be with them, and Kassandra had volunteered to be their chaperone for the day.

A stall selling metal sculptures made her pause. Something about them called to her. They were finely crafted, she admired the skill it took to sculpt such minute detail into the metal. A winged woman in armor, in particular, drew her gaze, the bronze wings and armor shone brilliantly in the sun and accentuated the silver body nicely. The price was far out of her pitiful price range, but still she allowed herself to admire it.

"Ah, I see you have an eye for beauty." The merchant chuckled down at her. "The craftsman I got it from said she appeared to him in a dream. An Emperor's Angel if you can believe it. He said divine providence guided his hammer that day." He made the sign of the Aquila as he spoke.

She reciprocated the gesture instinctively. "It is very good." She admitted, despite her misgivings about the nature of the craftsmans muse, she couldn't deny the quality of the work. It was an exceptional piece.

Dora's eyes barely peaked over the edge of the table, but even so, she stared in fascination at the winged figure. "Pretty." She muttered to herself.

Even the bored-looking Kassandra studied the sculpture over Tanyas' shoulder.

The merchant studied Tanya for a moment. "I do sell a sculpting kit if you're interested? It's just some clay and a few tools, but it's a good starting point."

She furrowed her brow, she wasn't artistic in the least, she could hardly draw a proper circle let alone sculpt anything from clay. She opened her mouth to say as much, but she hesitated. Something about the offer resonated with her on some level, and she suddenly found herself wondering what it would feel like to shape the clay, to create something.

She was nearly sixty years old mentally, and in that time she had never once considered taking up art as a hobby. But she supposed it was never too late to teach an old dog a new tricks. She was in the body of a child, so why not experience new things, what was the point in limiting herself? If she found herself disliking it, she could simply stop at any time, there wasn't any harm in trying, and it wasn't like the kit was all that expensive…

One glance at the detailed feathers on the wings clinched it. Her reticence disappeared. She wanted to create something like that, no, she wanted to make something better than that. Nodding her head with renewed confidence, she handed over the necessary credits.

Kassandra was quick to take the box from her, stowing it away in her backpack. Tanya found herself thankful for Kassandra's foresight because otherwise she would have had to awkwardly lug the not-so-small box around all day.

Tanya thanked her by getting her a bag of candied fruit at the next stall. After getting two for herself of course.

/

Everyone in the crowd oohed and aahed as the custom servitor effortlessly juggled over a dozen live swords while also smoothly running laps on the stage. Its three arms almost blurring with how quick they had to move to keep everything airborne.

Even Tanya wasn't immune to the show being put on. If her mouth hadn't already been occupied with chewing the glazed meat stick, it no doubt would have been hanging open. As it was, her eyes were glued to the whizzing circle of flying death. Some part of her couldn't help but wonder what the servitor could do in combat, with that kind of mechanical precision it no doubt would be a nightmare on a battlefield.

Despite the awe, a small kernel of disgust was sprouting in her heart. Sickly grey skin pulled tight over muscle and bone, with tubes, wiring, and all sorts of other mechanical bits sticking out of its flesh at random. The servitor was ugly.

Just looking at it made her want to slap whoever designed it. Sure, she agreed that function was more important than looks, but was it so hard to at least make it presentable? On a battlefield it made sense to use such quick and dirty designs, though she did think that even then it mattered, as morale was affected to an extent by the appearance of the equipment.

A tank is still a tank. But if it looked like it was scrapped together in a junkyard, it wouldn't inspire the same amount of confidence as a clean and rugged-looking tank from a proper factory. Perception was important, almost more so than efficacy in some situations.

"This is so cool!" Dora exclaimed excitedly, bouncing in place.

Tanya hummed distractedly. It was surprisingly difficult to keep the rising disgust off her face. What had at first felt like a vague notion, was quickly becoming an all-encompassing feeling. Her hands itched to do something. What that something was, she wasn't sure. She swore her right eye was beginning to twitch as she stared at the hideous thing.

The lights in the tent began to darken as the Servitor finished its performance. Spotlights turning on and panning across the stage wildly. "Ladies and gentlemen of Sevron Nine! We, the Void Entertainer Brigade have a special treat for you! In our five hundred years of traveling the galaxy we have gathered many spectacular wonders! But none compare to the jewel we are about to present you!" The announcer worked the crowd as a pair of servitors worked together to carry an ornate box onto the stage. The crate was almost completely covered in slips of paper.

"From Holy Terra itself!" Tanya perked up, and the crowd went nearly apoplectic at the news.

"We bring you a Cherubim!" With those words, the box sprung open and something slowly lifted out of the box and up into the air. All the spotlights tracking its wingborne ascent into the air.

The disgust for the juggling servitor had been a slow but steady build-up. But what she felt when that thing entered her vision was closer to getting hit by car. There was no build up, no warning. It was so intense she couldn't even think of a word to describe it. It almost bordered on rage. She couldn't even move, her eyes locked on the thing, unable to bring herself to look away. Her breathing was harsh and quick, almost panting. Her heart thundered in her chest.

The Whispers started trickling into her skull once more.

Using every ounce of self-control she had left, she grabbed Dora's arm and sprinted through the crowd and out of the tent. The fresh air and sunlight did nothing to calm her trembling muscles.

"Ow! Tanya! Let go your hurting me!" Dora tugged at her fingers, trying to escape her crushing grip.

Tanya just stared at the struggling girl. Unable to process what she was saying, her mind still firmly focused on the thing in the tent. Sudden sharp pain in her wrist made her blink, some measure of focus coming back to her. Dora was digging her short nails into her forearm.

Why was Dora doing that? Tanya thought through the haze. Slowly dots began connecting, and Tanya's hand sprung open. Dora scrambled backwards, trying to put distance between them. The place where her hand had been was quickly bruising, it stood out starkly against her pale skin. Naked fear glinted in her green eyes.

"I-" Tanya began, confused and more than a little shocked. "-I don't…" She didn't even know where to start. Her memories of the last few moments were simultaneously both fuzzy and vivid, it almost felt like she had been watching a movie. That thing, it just made her…it felt so…she couldn't even articulate it in her own head. Something instinctive, she would have even said primal, came over her in that tent. Completely overriding her autonomy. She was aware of what she had done, but she hadn't been aware.

The only time she had felt like that was…

Tears of her own began to form, and her breathing became rapid. Her attempt at speech, at explaining to Dora had devolved into incoherent sobs. Flashes of her time under the cursed computation orb sprung forth. Was this Being X? She thought she was past it, she thought she had escaped him. But the similarities were impossible to deny.

Arms wrapped around her shaking shoulders. Tanya startled at the sensation, not even sure when she had sunk to her knees. Dora was hugging her, Tanya's arms came up wrapping around the girl almost desperately. The warmth and familiarity of the contact grounding her in ways she could never have achieved on her own. Tears clouded her vision once more, but for an entirely different reason.

No, she decided now that she was a bit less frazzled, it wasn't the work of Being X. As she had concluded before, he would never have allowed her to doubt. He was a narcissist of the highest degree. Something like him needed her to know it was him. He needed her to validate his existence.

Whatever happened in that tent was not the work of Being X. The Whispers starting up right when the feeling had struck was too much of a coincidence in her mind. It was likely the two phenomena were connected somehow.

Slowly, Tanya calmed down. At least enough to form coherent sentences. "Dora, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I just…I needed to get out of there. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay." She said quietly in her ear.

"No. It's not." Tanya muttered back. Dora just responded by rubbing a small circle into her back.

"Alright, what was that?" Kassandra demanded when she finally made it out of the tent. Her bigger form meant that getting through the crowd had been a much more involved affair.

"Nothing, I just felt sick. I think the meat I ate went bad or something. I needed to get some air."

"You're crying." Kassandra pointed out, not believing her story.

"I was very sick…?"

She just sighed. "Fine, don't tell me. But next time don't run off like that! I could have lost you, then the Matrons would have had my head if either of us came back alone." She looked away, a mulish expression on her face. "And you scared me." She muttered almost too quietly to hear.

"Sorry." And funnily enough, she did mean it.

"Hmph." Was the only response.

Tanya used the excuse of still not feeling well to pull out her book and read at a nearby bench. Something the other two girls were more than fine with as it gave them a chance to rest their feet.

After the excitement of the circus, the trio decided to go play some of the various games scattered about. Tanya payed for Dora and Kassandra's turns as payment for her earlier ourburst. Kassandra won a plastic power sword while Dora got an inflatable chainsword.

Tanya's eyes lit up when she spied a shooting game, she practically slammed the credits into the table. The wave of nostaligic feelings she got when she picked up the rifle was indescribable. The make and model of the gun was different, but it was similar enough. It had a stock, a barrel, and a trigger. Just holding it, she could almost smell the burning cordite, something that was entirely in her head as the rifle in her hand used air, not gun powder.

Her first go was rough, she missed more shots than she hit, her body instinctively trying to adjust for recoil that simply wasn't there. Her second turn however was nearly flawless, pegging the little paper cutouts, even the ones that strafed back and forth were knocked over. By the time the bell rang, their wasn't a single target standing.

Dora, Kassandra, and even the stalls attendant stared at her open-mouthed. For a moment she wondered if maybe she should have missed a few, but only for a moment, it was just a game. Some people were just naturally skilled at things, and what she displayed was skill, nothing supernatural.

"I want that." Tanya broke the silence, pointing at the prize at the top of the pyramid. It was another toy weapon, but unlike the cheap things Kassandra and Dora had gotten, this one was a much more faithful reproduction. All metal construction with a polished wooden stock, an actual removable battery worked to power the lasguns small laser array. It was a toy and wouldn't actually do any damage, but it certainly looked real enough.

Tanya grunted the moment the rifle was dropped into her outstretched arms. It was heavy.

Dora practically climbed Tanya in her attempts at getting a closer look at her prize. Tanya had to lean against the stalls table to not lose her balance with the excitable girl crowding against her front.

/

Unfortunately, night was fast approaching and they had to head home. Not because the festivities were over. No, they had to get off the streets for safety. Once the sun started to fall, the stalls began to market more and more heavily toward adult vices.

Alcohol and drugs abound. And it seemed that everyone just wanted to get inebriated. Adults were stumbling around laughing with friends, she even spotted a few huddled teens sipping surreptitiously at cups of their own.

Needless to say, it wasn't the best place for an eight-and-a-half-year-old or a nearly seven-year-old girl. Kassandra was quick to herd them around the more rowdy-looking groups. One such crowd was so large that it blocked off an entire street, forcing them to double back and take a side street.

By the time they got on the train, it was truly nighttime, with four of the seven moons hanging prominently in the cloudless sky. Tanyas attention turned away from the rattling window, she could feel someone staring at her. To her surprise, Dora was staring up at her with a weird expression.

"Tanya, you always tell me to save my money."

"Yeah?" Tanys said perplexed, unsure where she was going with that.

"Then why did you spend so much money today."

She blinked, she hadn't spent that much money. Her hand went to retrieve her pouch. The negligent weight alone made a stone form in her stomach. Opening it revealed only a handful of credits, where before the pouch had been close to bursting at the seems..

She had spent years saving those credits, and in one day, she had burned through it all.

How could she have done that? It had been fun, sure, but since when did she lack self control like that? Since when did she give in to her impulses like that?

She was the one who always weighed the risks of every decision. The one who preferred methodical reasoning over flights of passion.

She bit her thumbnail as her mind raced. First that outburst in the tent, now this?

Just what was happening to her?

/

His burden was a heavy one, but he carried it nonetheless.

He absentmindedly rubbed his third eye. It had started to burn acutely towards the end of the journey. The stresses involved in staring directly into the Warp were already taxing, but add on how dim the Astronomicon was this far out and the stress was made so much worse.

The less said about the stresses their ship's cargo and crew added to one such as him, the better.

"How much longer Navigator?" The Sister of Silence signed to the translator servitor as she walked into the Navigators reinforced chambers.

"We should be exiting the Warp within the next few minutes, my lord." He calmly stated, expertly keeping the strain from his voice, he had learned early on in his career that captains got understandably nervous whenever a Navigator sounded anything less than in full control. He only needed to hold out for a bit longer, then he could rest.

A flicker of something up ahead drew his attention. What was that? He peered into the chaotic eddies of the Warp, straining his Eye even further, trying to discern what it was that had grabbed his attention. It was almost as if the Warp in front of him was…distorted. Like some sort of gravitational lens, an impossible phenomenon in a place like the Warp. But something about the distortion called to something in his memory.

Something niggled in the back of his mind. Then all three of his eyes widened as he realized where he had seen such a phenomenon before. Holy Terra, just around the edges of it blistering light, the Warp seemed to bend at the edges. A testament to the God Emperors might.

So to see such an effect out here…

Part of him wanted to stop the ship right then and there. Turn around and never look back. But he couldn't leave such a thing undiscovered, the Imperium needed to know about this. They needed to know what was causing it. But deeper than that, beyond even his sacred duty to the Imperium, Jazago wanted to see it.

He needed to see it.

He could almost feel his pants tightening at the thought of seeing such a wonder, for only something truly breathtaking could emulate the glorious Astronomicon.

And so he kept his mouth shut as they approached the anomaly. No need to alert the Sister, not until he got to see it. He couldn't risk the Sister ordering them to turn around.

Then they passed the distortion effect, and he could see. At first, he didn't understand what he was looking at.

He had been Navigating the Warp for the better part of two centuries. He thought he had witnessed it all. He thought he was ready for whatever this was. He was wrong. So very wrong.

In front of him, a roiling mass of colors and non-colors churned frantically in mind-bending ways. The mass was so massive in scope that it completely eclipsed the star system. Even the normally blazing spheres of souls that represented the planets could only faintly be seen in the writhing energy.

The colors were breathtaking.

LUST! PLEASURE! PAIN!

The colors were terrifying.

BLOOD! FIGHT! CARNAGE!

The colors were blinding.

DECAY! DESPAIR! DEATH!

The colors were too much.

CHANGE! HOPE! KNOWLEDGE!

His mouth flew open, and he screamed as his Eye caught fire.

Barely managing to pull the ship back into real space before he fell out of his chair.

"What happened?! Speak Navigator! Now!" The Sister of Silence signed furiously down at him.

Blearily he looked up into the barrel of the Sister of Silences bolter. "They're all here." He managed to rasp out through his raw throat.

"Who?! Who is here?!" The Sister fisted his robes after she was done signing, giving him a shake. Bolter pressed to his temple. Normally such close proximity would have had him hurling, but for once he welcomed her abhorrent presence. The harshness of her reality extinguishing the fell fire that had consumed his Eye.

"All of…them…" He passed out, leaving an angry and confused Sister behind.