Saving grace~

He needs you to save him you know...Sam's voice echoed hollowly off his skull. Sam was locked in the dungeon beneath this ancient church. He thought it was in Egypt from the designs but then he heard the familiar sounds of a Syracuse radio station he and Dean listed to many lonely highway nights.

What are you doing? You're not thinking about caving again...Hallucination Sam stood in front of today's Sam demon blood dripping from his teeth. His eyes blazed yellow as the curse tested its limits.

"What do you mean? Needs me to...to save him?" Sam stammered. His throat was so dry. Bevell had denied him water hoping it would force him to drink the alternative…

Well, it's Dean...You know how Dean does when you break apart...The younger Sam sat beside the elder. With a weary sigh, Sam turned to look at his younger self.

"I never did right by you did I...I should have given you better chances...Maybe things would be different now…"Sam's voice was cracked. He felt cameras zeroing in on him. Younger Sam laughed, bitterly, never answering the question.

We lost all our chances the day Jessica died...Another voice said from the corner. Both versions of Sam turned to look at the doe-eyed Joe College. He was covered in ashes, the flower on his tuxedo wilted. He was carrying a huge bushel of dead and burning carnations.

"What did we do without her? Crash and burn…" Sam giggled and shook himself, fighting back the night that was creeping into his veins.

"You did...And I'm so, so sorry…" Jessica floated into the room, walking on fire, startling the ghost versions of Sam's younger self away in the wake of her blazing gown. Sam covered his eyes as she drew nearer hair and eyes ablaze. The flames died down, leaving her in a morning snow halo of light.

"Sam…" Jessica's voice was like rain into Sam's burning mind. Sam started crying, why he didn't know. He needed to keep the water inside him.

"Shh...Baby, shh...I know." She smiled through her own tears and hugged him. He felt her as if she was real. More tears came. Suddenly, he didn't care if this was a trick of the brain. He was going to die soon probably. Maybe she was waiting on the other side? He clung to her and her golden hair that smelled like strawberry shampoo.

Jessica leaned back and held Sam's chin. She smiled and giggled.

"Damn, Samuel...You aged beautifully…"

"What…?" Sam's lips twitched as she traced them with her fingertips.

"The magic...The witchcraft in this place? They called me up..Accidentally, I'm sure. They were seancing up your old demons, I guess (I don't know how all this supernatural stuff works and I'm dead.) But...I heard you crying and... I came…I'm really here, baby. My-My spirit is." Jessica tilted her head to the side. Sam nodded.

"I'm more dead than alive now, aren't I? You're here to reap me?" Sam laughed. How ironic. Of course, it had to be her...

"Shh, it's okay...You've wanted this for a long time." She frowned. He was breaking her heart and he wasn't even trying.

Sam swallowed.

"Jess…"

"Don't, Sam. Don't say you're sorry…I'm at peace now. And soon...Shh, soon you will be too...Just hold out until then." Jessica's eyes danced in the light. Sam gasped.

"Jess...If I...What if I...Would you forgive me?"

"If you fail again? Sam, honey, I never blamed you in the first place. For the end of the World and all of that? I saw it all from much higher up, you know..." Jessica shushed Sam. Sam laughed. Then, with the last bit of strength he had, he had to test it...If she was real then he could kiss her, couldn't he?

It was like the first raindrop in the desert. It would have brought the dying man to tears again if he'd had any more to cry. Jessica lingered at his lips, kissing him back like only she could. Holding his head as it listed to the side.

"You-you're...You are the same." Sam felt the laugh burn like salt-pepper in his nostrils. She hummed to him. They fell into silence as they often did when they lived.

"You've always been my saving grace, Jessica Moore...Will you...will you forgive me if I, if I have to borrow some of that light...and…" Sam felt like he was drinking nails, but he had to talk to her while he could. The curse might take him somewhere worse than dying would.

"And go back to Dean? I knew you would try...Baby, whatever you decide. I'm always gonna be here for you. I'm ready for you when you come here, and I'm watching over you when you're not...Dean, he needs you more than I do right now…" Jessica nodded. Sam saw his own eyes dance in the reflection of her blazing ones.

"Jess_I!.." Sam was struggling to talk now to think clearly but he meant to say I love you…

"Shh...I know, Sam...I know. And I love you too...Did you know I found the ring catalog you ordered? I picked one out for you, circled it and everything, the night that I died?... That's what I was baking those cookies for, huh?... I was gonna bribe you to tell me the truth with them…"Jessica giggled as she drew Sam nearer, laying her face in his longer hair. She played with the ends of it admiring it. Of course, she would love it. She'd loved guys with longer hair. That's why he'd done it. She had always made him the best version of himself and he'd carried that with him all his adult life.

"I would have said yes to you a million-times, Sam. I would have been your wife, you know that? Oh, if only life had been kinder to you, sweetheart…If only that dream could be..."Jessica was crying softly in his hair as she kissed his forehead. A ghost's tears have no substance_if they had he could drink and be revived.

"You need to rest now, Sam? Okay? They're coming back soon, baby, and they are gonna hurt you. And I...I can't stop them...I'm too far to reach you...But Dean will. Dean will find you and then, whether you stay or go...It's gonna be alright. I promise, baby...I'm right here...I'm right here…"She wrapped her arms protectively around him. He faded out of conscious reluctantly holding her snow-white hand for the dear life he was losing.