Three
By the time Barbra pulled an absolutely delicious smelling chicken out of the oven a very dusty John Bishop had appeared from outside and introductions had been made before he had gone to change. Jack and Gibbs had managed to convince Barb to let them set the table and were just finishing as a bleary eyed Ellie appeared wearing yoga pants and a baggy NCIS t-shirt. She blinked a few times when she noticed them and shook her head once to make sure she wasn't seeing things.
"Are you really in Oklahoma?" She asked, her voice hoarse.
"Howdy." Gibbs replied with a small grin.
"Hey, kiddo." Jack added.
"How…Why?" Ellie asked, still not quite understanding what was going on, "do we have a case I don't know about?"
"No." Gibbs replied, "just thought a break from the city would be nice."
"You have a cabin." Ellie pointed out skeptically, "a cabin that's a lot closer to DC."
"Eleanor you're being rude." Barbra chastised.
"You called them, didn't you?" Ellie said, turning to her mother with her eyes flashing angrily.
"I did." Barbra admitted, "only because I was worried."
"Unbelievable." Ellie muttered.
Jack saw her roll her eyes and turn around and she was almost sure she was about to go back upstairs but Ellie only crossed the kitchen to wash her hands before taking a seat at the kitchen table, she sat down much harder than was probably necessary but no one commented on it. Jack and Gibbs took their seats across the table from Ellie and Barbra sat at the foot of the table. John appeared a moment later and took his seat at the head of the table and they began passing food around in silence.
"So how was your flight in?" John asked after everyone had served themselves.
"Good." Jack replied when Gibbs didn't speak up.
She glanced over at him and saw that his eyes were fixed on Ellie and the practically bare plate in front of her. She had taken a little bit of everything but Jack suspected it was more to appease her mother than out of any real desire to eat anything.
"This is amazing." Jack commented as she took a bite of her chicken, "Try it, Ellie."
"I'm not that hungry." Ellie muttered.
She looked down at her plate and pushed some food around before taking a sip of her iced tea.
"Eat." Gibbs ordered quietly.
Jack's eyes widened in surprise at the quiet but firm tone he used and she could tell by the looks on their faces that John and Barbra were thinking the same thing. Ellie's eyes flashed at Gibbs and she waited for Ellie to challenge him but she finally just sighed and rolled her eyes before taking a bite of her food.
"Happy?" She asked, raising her eyebrow at Gibbs.
"Thrilled." Gibbs deadpanned
Ellie rolled her eyes again but took another bite of food.
"If you keep rolling your eyes they'll get stuck like that." Gibbs warned.
"I'm not five." Ellie retorted.
"Then stop acting like it."
Jack's fork stopped midway to her mouth as she watched Ellie process what Gibbs had just said. She really hadn't expected the tough love tactic right out of the gate but apparently that was what Gibbs had chosen and he seemed to be sticking with it. Ellie clenched her jaw and Jack could tell she was debating leaving the table but she finally just glared at Gibbs before silently finishing her plate.
"So your flight was good? You didn't have any problem finding a rental?" John asked, looking at Jack and Gibbs.
"It was fine, the airport was actually pretty easy to navigate." Jack replied, "And the drive was beautiful."
"Where are you from, Jack?"
"San Diego, so this is a really nice change for me." Jack responded, "I haven't really been able to leave DC since I moved, it's nice to get out of the city."
"I'll bet, I don't know how you guys can handle the city." John commented, "I don't even like going into town and it's pretty small."
"May I be excused." Ellie asked with a sigh.
"I made dessert." Barbra offered, "that cinnamon cake you and Gibbs love."
"I'm not hungry, I was going to go out and feed the horses."
"Okay." Barbra allowed with a small sigh.
Ellie pushed her chair back and brought her plate over to the sink before disappearing up the stairs. She returned a few minutes later in jeans and a long sleeved shirt before disappearing outside.
"The anger is new." Barbra commented as soon as the front door had shut.
"I have a feeling that has more to do with us being here than anything else." Jack replied.
"I'll go talk to her." Gibbs pushed his chair back with a sigh, "supper was great, thanks, Barb."
N*C*I*S
Outside it didn't take long for Gibbs to find Ellie, he walked through the open barn doors to find her scooping feed into several multicoloured buckets on the ground.
"Want some help?" He asked, leaning against a stall door.
"Nope." Ellie replied shortly.
"Wanna tell me why you're pissed at me?"
She paused what she was doing and turned to look at him incredulously, "are you seriously asking me that, Gibbs?" She scoffed and went back to scooping feed, "you're an investigator, use your magical gut and figure it out."
"I'm an investigator, not a mind reader, Bishop." Gibbs replied calmly, "can't help you if you won't tell me what's bothering you."
"Now you want to help?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that now you want to help? Now you finally notice that something's wrong? Where the hell have you been, Gibbs?"
He looked at her and barely managed to mask his shock at her outburst.
"I've been falling apart and you've barely noticed! I mean I don't know why I'm so upset about it, it's not like it's your job to care, you're only my boss."
"That's not true and you know it." Gibbs argued.
"How is it not true?" Ellie exclaimed, " you've made it perfectly clear to me that I'll always be second best, I'm never going to be who you want me to be because I'm not Ziva, I'm never going to be Ziva. I'm never going to be the perfect agent or the perfect daughter, I'm just me and that's never going to be good enough for you!"
"That's not true-"
"Isn't it though? You looked me dead in the eye and told me that every time you look at me all you see is that I'm not her, that hurt, Gibbs, that really hurt and you've barely been there since then. So tell me, how is that not true?"
"I screwed up." He admitted.
"No shit!" Ellie replied bitterly.
She turned on her heel and left, leaving him standing there at a loss for words. He hadn't realized how much his words had affected her, he should have but he had been so involved in, so distracted by his own demons that he hadn't seen the daughter he had left falling apart, being consumed by her own demons.
N*C*I*S
Jack looked up from her spot at the kitchen sink when the kitchen door slammed shut followed by the sound of footsteps running up the stairs and a bedroom door slamming. She looked over at Barbra with a raised eyebrow but the other woman just shrugged. Gibbs appeared a moment later in a much calmer fashion but she could tell that something had shaken him up.
"I take it your talk didn't exactly go well." She commented softly as he joined them in the kitchen.
"Well she's still got a healthy set of lungs." Gibbs replied dryly.
"She yelled?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh yeah." Gibbs replied, "I deserved it though."
"Did you yell back?" Jack asked warily.
They had all heard about the last screaming match Gibbs and Ellie had had, she had been in her office and she had caught the tail end of it and she could only hope that Gibbs hadn't turned it into another knock down, drag out screaming match.
"No." He assured her, "barely got ten words in edgewise before she got going."
"Will she calm herself down or is it going to be one of those things that's going to fester and just get worse?" Jack asked.
"Probably not getting any better."
Jack sighed and handed him her dishtowel, "finish this, I'll go deal with her."
"Second door on the left!" Barbra called after her as she jogged up the stairs.
She could hear Barbra and Gibbs talking quietly in the kitchen, the sound faded out as she hit the top of the stairs and knocked on Ellie's door.
"Go away, Gibbs!"
"It's me." Jack said softly, "can I come in for a minute?"
She waited a minute and offered Ellie a small smile when the young woman opened the door.
"El…" She whispered when she saw her red eyes and tear stained cheeks, "come here."
She stepped into Ellie's bedroom and pulled her in for a hug, she rubbed her hand up and down her back and brushed her other hand over her hair.
"You wanna tell me what happened?" She asked quietly.
"I just..." Her voice broke in a sob before she could continue, "I can't do it anymore."
"Can't do what?" Jack prompted gently, she steered them towards the bed and sat down with Ellie beside her.
"Can't keep trying to be her." Ellie hiccuped, "I can't be who he needs me to be and I'm killing myself trying and he doesn't even notice, he hasn't been there and I can't..."
Jack continued to rub her back as she shook with heart wrenching sobs, she had no idea what Ellie was talking about but it broke her heart to see her so upset.
"I'm going to need a bit more, babe." She whispered, "who're you talking about?"
"Gibbs." She sniffed once and bit her lip, "he told me that every time he looks at me all he sees is that I'm not her."
"Who?"
"Ziva."
Jack was going to kill him. She knew exactly when this had happened, she had heard enough of the conversation to know exactly what Ellie was talking about but she hadn't said anything, when she'd asked about the situation in general Gibbs had assured her that they had settled it. She understood how much pain the subject brought him, it was the same as when someone brought up Faith with her but she would never look Ellie in the eyes and tell her she would never live up to someone she didn't even know.
"I don't think he meant it that way, Ellie."
"You're on his side." She accused.
"No, I certainly don't agree with what he did, he should never have said that but that was a hard case for everyone. I am not saying that that excuses it but maybe cut him a bit of slack."
"It wasn't just that though." Ellie said, her voice cracking again, "he hasn't been there, after everything that happened at Christmas, after the lake and the submarine, he's been so caught up in his rule that he hasn't been there."
"There's been a lot going on." Jack replied quietly, "again I'm not excusing it but Gibbs is only human... I think everyone forgets that sometimes, he's a human being who messes up just like you or I and right now he's having a hard time too... I'm not saying that he hasn't dropped the ball, maybe he has but every once in awhile he needs to be allowed a mistake... No one is perfect and he has a hard job, being in charge of people in our line of work is hard enough when they're just team members but when you love them like your kids it's even harder." She paused for a minute to catch her breath and gather her thoughts. "Parenting isn't easy in a normal situation and Gibbs has gone through hell, losing a child isn't easy, losing two has to be torture and every time he looks at you, or Tim, Nick or Jimmy he sees every bad thing that's ever happened happening to you guys... Every case he's ever worked, every crime scene he's ever attended, he knows what can happen if you're not careful and his worst nightmare is losing one of you kids... Of course he sees Ziva when he looks at you, you're both strong, capable, gorgeous young women and he sees those similarities but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you for being you."
"Then why would he say what he said?"
"Because he's Gibbs, he's emotionally stunted." Jack replied with a small smirk, "I think he was scared of losing you and Gibbs doesn't handle fear well, when he gets scared he distances himself, he pushes people away because he thinks he's protecting them... He handled it horribly but I honestly believe that he was just trying to protect you."
"He did it badly." Ellie said with a shaky laugh.
"Like I said, he's emotionally stunted." Jack said again, "but he means well and I know how much he loves you."
"I don't know if I'd go that far."
"I would, the whole trip up here he was worried about you, and I mean visibly worried, he didn't try to hide it at all." Jack replied, "and when we got here he saw me looking at the picture in the hallway where you're all scraped up, he told me the story behind it and he sounded so proud that you never cried... A boss doesn't remember those kinds of things, a boss doesn't know exactly how you take your coffee and what kind of shampoo you use so he can make sure he has it in the shower when you need to spend the night. A boss doesn't have pictures of his team sitting, framed in his living room and he definitely doesn't have a photo tucked in his wallet... A boss doesn't do those things but a proud dad does and that man downstairs, as stubborn and emotionally moronic as he is, is so proud of you... When I first moved here I asked him to tell me a bit about his team and the first person he told me about was you, how you use food to remember things and how you love playing baseball and how you chop wood when your frustrated. He told me about how you like to sit on the floor to work whenever you can and that you used to love this tv show about a clown when you were little. If he didn't love you he wouldn't bother to remember those small details."
"He said all that?" Ellie asked quietly.
"Yeah he did." Jack smiled softly and ran her hand over Ellie's hair. "That doesn't excuse what he did, it doesn't make it right or fair but he's had a lot going on and he made a mistake, I'm not saying forgive him for it but maybe give him a chance to make it right."
"I'll talk to him." Ellie promised softly, "I can't forgive him yet, I... It hurt when he said that and it hurts that he hasn't been there but I'll talk to him."
"That's all I ask." Jack replied, "now, you wanna tell me what else is going on? Because I know it's not just Gibbs being an idiot."
Ellie sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "This year's been hard, I just need time to work through it."
"Sometimes we all need a bit of time." Jack assured her quietly, "do you want to tell me about it?"
"Maybe later?" Ellie asked, looking at her tiredly, "I don't really want to deal with anything else tonight."
"You got it." Jack promised, " but you know I'm here whenever you're ready, and so is Gibbs."
"I know, thanks, Jack."
Jack wrapped her arms around the younger blonde again and kissed the side of her head.
"Anytime." She stood up and studied Ellie for a moment, "do you want some time or do you want me to send Gibbs up?"
Ellie took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "Send him up, please, I may as well get this over with."
