Wearing her flowing nightgown, Kathleen sat on her bed, running a brush through her tail. She sighed. Memories of her mother doing this act before bedtime came to her, and with them came sorrow. Eight years had passed since Kathleen buried her parents, and what had time done to soothe her? Her heart still ached as if their funerals were yesterday. In her dreams, her father's golden laugh echoed. In her mind, her mother's wise voice carried love, and still, Kathleen held such a yearning to hold them one last time.
A knock shook Kathleen and Zelda's hotel door.
"Zelda, get the door please," Kathleen said.
The doorknob's tumbler clicked, and its latches groaned. Zelda yelped. Something thudded onto the floor, and Kathleen snarled.
Liquor had struck her nose.
Zelda had let a drunkard inside.
A drunkard had once chosen to drive his semi-truck at night, got too far out his lane, and crushed Maxwell Ivory's car after Max and his wife were going home from dinner. A drunkard had made Kathleen an orphan at 17, weeks before she turned 18 and Nick proposed. A drunkard had doomed Ryder to never meet his grandparents in this world.
Kathleen stormed out of her room.
"What is the meaning of this?!" She roared before she had turned the corner and saw the drunkard for herself.
Nick lay by Zelda's pajamas-covered legs. He wore a stupid smile alongside his disheveled attire, and green glazed eyes started up at Kathleen's searing face. Nick giggled.
"Hi, Cutie Kat," He said, and Kathleen cringed at his beer-soaked breath.
"Nicholas," She hissed. "You're intoxicated?!"
Nick got up on wobbly legs.
"I'm not drunk. I only had one, two, three drinks." He said, counting to seven on his paws.
"Oh?" Kathleen crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "Then tell me, how many of me do you see standing in front of you?"
"Four. Wait, five."
Kathleen ground her teeth. "Zelda, go to bed. Rest. I will take Nicholas back to his room." She walked over to Nick, and, after some struggle, Kathleen carried him on her back, his chin sitting on her shoulder. At once, Kathleen dry heaved. How much had Nick drunk? It smelled as if he had fallen in a whiskey barrel.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Zelda asked.
"I will be fine." Kathleen said, "Around me, Nicholas is docile as a babe when somber, even more so when drunk. Right, Nicholas?"
"My red fur looks like fire," he said.
"My point exactly."
Zelda opened the door, and Kathleen carried Nick down the hall.
"Get your key card out," Kathleen huffed, adjusting her paws which held Nick's limp legs level with her waist.
"I can't. That's why I came to you and Zelda's room. Something's wrong with my room key."
Kathleen glanced at the swipe key lock on Nick's door. "Show me."
Nick pulled out his card. He had swiped it too far on the right. He tried again. He missed again. On his fifth attempt, he swiped the doorknob itself.
"You, see? The lock keeps moving around."
"Give me that!" Kathleen snatched Nick's room key card, swiped once, and the lock's red light turned green.
"Yay! Ya did it!" Nick yelled, throwing his arms arm in the air.
"Shush! It's midnight. Mammals are trying to sleep." Kathleen carried Nick inside and dropped him on his bed.
He sunk into his warm, soft blanket and pillows "So lovely."
"Don't go to sleep yet. You need a shower. Your horrid odor could raise the dead."
Kathleen stripped. She removed her nightgown and folded it on Nick's nightstand. Her underwear sat on atop of it. The anger, disgust, and disappointment at seeing Nick's drunken state denied her any embarrassment.
Once Nick saw a naked Kathleen, he slammed his shut eyes. "What ya doing?"
"You are getting a shower, and I have to help you. I cannot trust you to walk in a straight line, much less to take a shower and stand on a wet soapy floor. Get undressed."
"But we ain't married anymore." Nick said frowning, "I want to, but we can't do that."
Kathleen rubbed her temple. "Please, and I cannot believe I'm saying this, stop being courteous for ten minutes. Just undress."
It half an hour for Kathleen to sway Nick. But he finally arose and undid his tie. He unbuttoned his shirt soon after only to stop. He made a motion for Kathleen to turn around.
"No peeking." He said, eyes still closed.
"I've turned around." Kathleen lied. She chose not to point out how she had seen naked Nick a hundred times before. Why argue with a drunk?
Nick's belt fell with a clink. His shirt flew to the oaken headboard, and soon his pants and boxers rested around his ankles. He walked to her, arms outstretched, groping about himself as if blind.
"Where are you?" He asked.
Her arms supported him, "I'm here."
"Are your eyes closed too?"
"Yes," Kathleen lied again and led Nick into the bathroom.
On Kathleen's order, Nick sat on the floor of his spacious shower. Carefully, she turned on the shower. Kathleen made certain only lukewarm water drenched them. Too cold or too hot might render Nick unconscious.
With a washcloth and soap, Kathleen scrubbed at her body, so hard friction burned her skin. She had to rip off every trace of Nick's acholic stench. When she finished, a billion bubbles coated her.
"Are you done?" Nick asked, eyes shut, lathered with ten layers of bubbles from nose to tail.
A chuckle leaked from Kathleen's pursed lips.
Even intoxicated, you're endearing.
She rinsed herself off. "Don't stand. The showerhead is removable. Wait, turn around. You missed your back. I'll get it for you." She grabbed the shampoo bottle.
Nick whimpered. He held his tail between his legs like a blanket and backed away, pressing his back to the shower's marble wall.
Kathleen froze. For eighteen years, Nick had not held his tail like that while in her presence, not since the night they met, not since those bullies muzzled him.
"Nicholas, what's wrong?".
Nick whimpered louder. "There's something on my back, so if you want to wash it, please be gentle. It feels weird whenever I put too much pressure on it."
A growth? He's frightened I will hurt growth on his back?
"I will be gentle as possible." She promised.
Nick hesitated but turned around. Kathleen sat down with him. She washed his back, lathering every root of his fur, and when she rubbed deeper, she touched Nick's hide. But she paused. Something thin, rough like leather, was on his skin. Kathleen traced it. It ran from Nick's left shoulder to his right hip. Soon, she found another line. It went from his right shoulder to his left hip. Both met in the center. Kathleen paled. A scar, a massive X-shaped scar, covered Nick's entire back.
Her vision turned red. Within Kathleen awoke a desire to tear flesh with her claws, crush bones with her fangs, and overflow the ocean with blood.
"Who did that?!" Her scream was venomous, "Who gave you that scar? I know you did not have it five years ago, so tell me what monster dared hurt you! Tell me, and I will kill them myself!"
Nick said nothing.
"Nicholas!"
Nothing.
"Nicholas, answer me now!"
"Can we get out now? Please?" He weakly asked.
In an instant, her fury died. Love and pity overcame Kathleen, and she stilled herself with deep breaths.
She hugged Nick so tenderly.
"Yes, yes, we can get out soon. Let me rinse your back, and later when you feel strong enough, we'll talk about this. Alright?"
He nodded, and so they left.
Once they dried off, Kathleen helped Nick into his pajamas. She retrieved her nightgown. sniffed it and threw it down. It smelled faintly like alcohol. Too much for her liking. Kathleen put her underwear back on and combed through Nick's suitcase. She found a white shirt and a pair of grey pajama shorts. Smiling, she put them on. To wear his clothes to bed again, even if for only a single night, thrilled Kathleen. It made her feel like his wife again.
Ah, much better than wearing alcohol-tainted garments. They even have a faint trace of Nicholas' aroma! Hopefully, he won't mind.
Nick lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Kathleen sat beside him. He sniffled and her heart ached.
"Nicholas? Nicholas, I'm leaving. Is there anything you need before I do?"
Nick took her paw in his. "Don't leave me. Not again. Please."
Her heart wavered.
"Nicholas, I'm not leaving you forever. I'm only going to be one room over, and if you had any need of me, you only have to call. I'll come. I would come to you even if you were on the other side of the world."
Her words never reached him. His hurting eyes made this clear enough.
Nick squeezed her paw.
"If you do have to leave me again," He choked out, "Before you go, can you just let me hold you, or hold me like you use to?"
Her heart surrendered.
"Of course." Kathleen climbed under the covers with him. Nick rested his head on her chest, and she embraced him. A loving paw stroked his back. They laid together in peace.
"I missed this," Nick said.
"As did I."
Nick lifted his head and stared into her eyes. She stared back, her heart skipping every other beat.
"You're too beautiful for me," he said
"What do you mean?"
"I mean everything about you. Your flawless beauty beats even Edith herself, and that isn't the only thing about that's beautiful. Your determination is beautiful. How much passion you pour into your work is beautiful. Your ability to brighten up my life? Beautiful. Beautiful! Beautiful! You're too beautiful." Nick's voice quivered. "Too beautiful for a fool like me."
He caressed her cheek, and she nuzzled his paw.
"You were the reason I became a cop."
"What?" His words dazed her. "I thought you became an officer due to Miss Hopps?"
"Carrots was part of it, but you were the real reason. I wanted to make you proud. I wanted you to come back. When I was up there, getting my picture taken, making history as the first fox cop of Zootopia, you were the only thing on my mind. 'Can you see me, Kathleen? I've changed. I've grown up. I'm a real fox now, so will you come back? Am I worthy of being your Arthur again? Please, say yes. I need you. I love you.' That's what I thought." Nick smiled, and he wiped away her tears. "I wanted you to see I wasn't the same crappy old con artist you fell in love with."
She sniffled. "I never agreed with how you provided for us, but you were never an awful con artist. You did your work well. You were the best."
"It changed after you left. I got depressed. I made mistakes no rookie would make, which some tigers didn't take too kindly to my screw-ups."
Kathleen rubbed his back, hoping, praying, somehow, someway, her touch erased his scar. "If I had known if this had happened, I would've come back. I would've taken care of you. Please, believe me! I-I-I-" Sorrow strangled her. "I'm sorry, Nicholas. I never should have abandoned you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry!"
His head returned to laying on her chest, and warm arms wrapped around her waist. "You made the right choice. I failed you, and you never need me anyway. You've got Ryder. You've got Zelda, and all that money to live without a worry, and you get to make music for the world now. You're happy. That's all I ever wanted for you."
"Happy?! How could I have been happy without you? I'd burn my wealth, never pick up an instrument again, never sing again, if it meant I could erase those words I said that night! Falling in love with you was the best choice I ever made. Even when it hurt, I've never regretted loving you."
Nick snuggled into her embrace. "Thanks. This was a nice dream."
"A dream?"
"Yeah, this is all a dream. I'm still in the bar, passed out from drinking too much, and this is just a dream. You're not real. You can't be. The real Kathleen will never hold me again, and when I wake up, I'll be alone. I know it. I've had this same kind of dream lots of times before, but still, it's always nice."
He kissed her nose and closed his eyes. A breath later, Nick slept upon her chest.
She rubbed his back and kissed his head. "You had it backward, Nicholas. You were too beautiful for me."
Sleep evaded Kathleen for hours. Her mind wandered. It took her into her past when she had left Nick and those happy weeks which preceded a nightmarish tragedy.
