Enjoy this update with plenty of development to make up for the lack of that in the previous one. Nothing else to say except I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think.
Sitting in her room, Hermione stared at the book in front of her without doing anything. Just hours ago she had received a letter from Harry informing her about the attack that had happened at the Burrow. Even though she and Ron weren't on the best terms at the moment, she was still concerned for her friend and his family. Hermione was just glad that nobody had been hurt even though the Burrow had gone down in flames.
It was times like this when Hermione wished that she had someone to talk to, and although she had wanted to go to the Burrow herself in the wake of the attack, her parents had forbid her from leaving the house. That just left Hermione with Anonymous to talk to, but considering how their conversations had gone so far, she doubted that they would be very receptive to her. Hermione also had to think about how she was going to help them with whatever limitations these books had, though Hermione didn't think that telling Anonymous about that was a good idea since it would only give them an excuse to pull away from her.
With her quill in hand, Hermione flipped through the book to get to the page that she needed to reach. By this point, Hermione had been through that book so many times that she didn't even need to look at it to know where she was. When Hermione wrote down her first message, she waited a few moments before Anonymous wrote back their reply.
Happy Christmas.
I don't see what's so 'Happy' about it.
One thing that Hermione noticed during their conversations was how Anonymous would drop subtle hints about how they were feeling. From the gist of things, they really seemed like a pessimistic person. If Hermione gave them a half full glass, they'd probably call it half empty. She wanted to know why they were like that, and she intended on finding out.
What doesn't make it happy for you?
I've never liked Christmas. The only good thing about it was getting stuff from people, but now I can barely celebrate it because of that. There is nothing good about it.
Well, I love Christmas. It's one of my favourite times of the year where you can spend time with family and friends. The gift giving is also a bonus, but it's just the festivity of it all that makes me love it.
So you like Christmas then? That doesn't surprise me.
Why?
You just seem like the kind of person that's always happy and peppy. I'd hate to spend Christmas with you.
Well, you seem like the kind of person that I wouldn't want to spend Christmas with either. You don't sound like the kind of person that I want to do anything with. Why is that so?
You'd be smart to not want to do anything with me.
And why is that? You're just a teenager, like me. Whatever you're going through can't be something as catastrophic as you're making it out to be.
Can you do me a favour and stop downplaying what I'm going through when you don't even know what that is?
This was when her frustration at them would come out, because it would be a lot more helpful if they would just tell her what their problem was. Hermione wanted to be able to understand them and do whatever she could to help, but they were seemingly determined not to let her in. But Anonymous wasn't making this easy, and Hermione knew that she was going to have to work hard to break down their barriers and earn their trust.
I won't downplay it if you actually tell me. Let me understand you, I want to.
I'm not sure if I want to let you. It's not like anybody that I know can understand me.
Don't you have family that you can talk to, like any brothers or sisters to talk to?
I don't have anyone like that. I just have my mother and even she can barely help me right now. Nobody can, especially not you.
Maybe I could if you just let me. I like helping anyone. I would even help my own worst enemy.
You sound too nice for your own good.
Maybe I am, and maybe you're just someone that needs to take advantage of people to feel better about themselves so you can try to take advantage of me if you want to.
… That could be taken more than one way.
And you should know that I do not mean it the other way.
I could only dream.
… Did you just hit on me?
Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Would you want me to hit on you?
I'm just saying that you shouldn't hit on someone if you don't know who or what they are.
Are you saying that you're a Hippogriff or something?
No, I thought we already made it clear that we're both human? And even if I was a Hippogriff, what's wrong with Hippogriffs?
They're outrageous beasts. I'd rank them up there with werewolves.
Hippogriffs aren't beasts. They're majestic creatures that should be treated with respect by anyone unless you want to get a hove to the face. And although every werewolf might not be one that you would want to meet, you can't just judge them all because of the stereotyped beliefs surrounding them that only exist because of a werewolf like Fenrir Greyback.
Even though debating animal rights probably wasn't the best way to spend their time communicating, it wasn't something that Hermione could hold herself back from writing. Hippogriffs were noble creatures that only attacked when they were provoked, like when Draco Malfoy foolishly insulted Buckbeak in their third year. When it came to werewolves, Hermione didn't consider them all bad either, since although she knew just how savage they could be like Fenrir Greyback was, she knew that they weren't all bad after knowing Remus Lupin.
So you're an animal rights activist huh?
Is there anything wrong with that? I just believe that all magical creatures should be preserved and respected. You should know that we heavily rely on them and that our society would be nothing without magical creatures.
I'm not saying that I have anything against every magical creature, I'm just not particularly fond of Hippogriffs and werewolves because of firsthand experience.
Well, I suppose that's fair enough. Do you like any creatures then?
I like dragons and kneazles. Thestrals are cool once you can see them too.
So you've seen death then?
Yeah, and I'd rather not talk about it.
I can respect that. I can't see Thestrals, but one of my friends can. I've even taken one for a ride before.
You can't see Thestrals yet you flew on the back of one?
Yes, I have, and it was quite terrifying since I couldn't see what I was flying on. I'm not much of a flier so that made it even worse.
I love flying, it's one of the few things that I actually enjoy, but I can't really enjoy it much anymore. I can't enjoy anything anymore.
Surely you have other hobbies and things that you enjoy that can make you happy. What about school? What do you enjoy about it?
There isn't much that I enjoy about that place, not that I ever have. I like Quidditch, but I don't really care enough about it anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. I just care about making it through this year.
This was yet another opportunity for Hermione to get more from Anonymous but yet again they were resisting from her. Hermione could see this as the time for her to get to know them better, but she knew that she had to tread with caution.
Things at school definitely aren't the same anymore, and not just because of new learning challenges or friendship group drama. With the way the state of things are and the Aurors guarding every entrance, Hogwarts just doesn't feel the same. It doesn't have that same magic that made it feel like home.
Hogwarts was never a home to me, I always wanted to be back to my home because it was where I felt the most connected to. Now I have never felt more disconnected to my home.
I understand how you feel. I've just been so disconnected from reality because I'm constantly worrying about the people that I love and worrying about the war. It's a lot harder to deal with when it hits you closer to home.
You got that right.
I'm just glad that I have school to distract myself with, it helps take my mind off of everything that bothers me.
Well, I'm sure you have people that are in your corner.
I consider myself lucky to have people that I know will support me, but it isn't always easy. I feel like some people pick and choose when they want to be my friend only when I'm of use to them and sometimes I do feel abandoned.
There was definitely some truth to that, since right now Hermione wasn't feeling the best about her friendship with Harry and Ron. She'd always been the brain of their trio, and as much as Hermione cherished their friendship and the times that they had been there for her, she definitely felt left out at times. It's always been clear to Hermione that Harry and Ron were always closer to each other than she was to any of them. If they had to, Hermione figured that they'd choose each other over her, and that was a sad realisation. It would be nice to have a friend that would pick her above everyone else.
And here was me thinking that we hardly had anything in common, yet you keep on surprising me.
That's something that I enjoy doing.
Clearly. Have your so-called friends ever told you how you think they feel about you?
No, they haven't. I guess it's just one of those insecurity things that make you feel that way. And I suppose that some of their actions in the past have added to those insecurities. Our friendship didn't even start in the best way since they hardly liked me to begin with.
In my opinion, if they thought of you in a certain way then there's a part of them that will always think that way.
As much as I don't want to think it, I suppose that you're right in that sense.
Well, I guess that we're both a pair of miserable losers.
We're certainly acting like it.
So, why do you care about a miserable loser like me when you don't even know who I am or what I'm going through?
Because I just care. I can't help it if I care a lot. I tend to care about things that most people tend to disregard. Some would say that I have a bleeding heart, and I guess they would be right since my actions have certainly proved that.
You really care that much about everything?
I do, and most of the time I don't even care if whoever or whatever it is doesn't even care about me like you clearly don't.
Hey, don't go acting like you know everything about me when you don't.
…Did you just admit that you care about me?
I didn't say that.
Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. But you certainly implied it.
Don't go getting a big head just because of a few misinterpreted words.
You know, it's okay to care about someone other than yourself. You've certainly given me that kind of impression about who you are.
Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. But you wouldn't know that.
Oh ha, ha, ha. Using my own words against me.
Eat your own words.
Well that's not really possible.
Don't go getting all technical on me now. Nobody likes a smartass.
So I've been told.
By your so-called friends, huh?
Not exactly. It's like one of those things that they don't say but you know that they think it.
You should get some new friends.
Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But at least I have you.
You don't have me; you just have this weird and powerful journal. You mean at least we have this.
Yes, we do.
Hermione and Anonymous seemed to take turns in being the one to end their conversations, and now it looked like it was back to her again as Anonymous didn't give her a reply back. Except for their first conversation, they had never said 'goodbye' or anything to indicate the end of their communication. It always happened spontaneously which made Hermione treasure each moment that they shared with these journals. But Hermione could treasure their conversations more now since they seemed to be going in a different direction.
If this one was anything to go by, it would seem as though Anonymous was slowly beginning to warm up to her and that just gave Hermione the greatest boost of confidence. She just had to make every word and conversation count, even if it meant opening up about herself in ways that she didn't always do. Instead of helping them, talking with Anonymous this time seemed to help her. Hermione had been struggling with this conflict between her and Ron, and by extension, Harry. Just having someone to confide in about her insecurities about their friendship even if it was through a journal took a weight off her shoulders.
Now that she had gotten that much help, Hermione planned on giving the same back in return even though she hardly had any idea who she was helping. At that point, their identity didn't even matter and Hermione just wanted to make them feel better like they had done for her. Maybe she really did have a bleeding heart after all.
Yay, they made some progress now. I know that in cannon it was never said if Draco could see Thestrals, but I imagine that after his first initiation to the Death Eaters that he'd see more death than any teenager should. I'll make some more progress here if I get lots more reviews and thoughts on how things are going so far. Every author loves getting feedback, and that includes me so review away.
