BPOV
Jasper really didn't deserve my betrayal. How could I do this to him, and that too, with his own brother?
I had tried, but I wasn't able to stop myself falling for Edward, right? But wait, had I actually tried enough?
I had always seen my Mom and Dad fighting all the time. My Mom always said that 'Love' was nothing but an overrated term. She said Dad and she loved each other, but still they were not compatible at all.
So when Jasper had proposed an idea to get married, I thought may be it wasn't too bad! He was my good friend, and I thought we could be a good match. I thought 'love' would come along if had to, or may be it wasn't mandatory as Mom had always said!
But everything had begun to change after I had gotten to know Edward.
I was always fascinated him since I first saw him back in the high school, but this was different. I had never actually 'known' him before. Our conversations had begun as the formal ones, but he had slowly started to open up to me. He was curious about getting to know me, too. I liked spending time with him. It was good to see that he could smile too! It might be embarrassing to admit, but I felt I was slowly becoming obsessed with his smile. I'd come up with stupid jokes to make him smile! In short, I was losing it!
I thought he liked me, too, and that's why he kept coming up with random excuses to meet me. He was a terrible liar! But I didn't tell him anything, because anything that gave me an excuse to spend time with him worked for me, too!
But may be I was wrong! That woman, she said her wallet was on his bed side table. She said 'his kisses' made her forget everything. I couldn't understand why that had broken my heart.
I had snapped at him throughout the dinner. I had no right to do that! It was his life. He could do whatever he wanted! Why was I jealous! May be he liked me, but only as a friend!
But then, he kissed me!
I didn't know what he felt, but I had never felt those emotions in my life!
"I really want to apologize. I'm really, really sorry. Please, I want to talk to you." I received one more voicemail from him.
He had been trying to reach me since two days, but I had been avoiding him like a coward. He was really regretting that he had kissed me.
But I should talk to him. May be we needed to end whatever we had for good.
"Look, I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you. I mean, not like this! I wanted to talk to you before that, but... I'm sorry! I'm just stupid!" he started immediately once I answered the call.
'Not like this'? What did that mean?
"What did you want to talk before that?" I asked.
"I... I really like you, Bella." he sighed.
"That's what I thought." I said, "But apparently I was wrong."
"Why do you say that? You're not wrong. I really, really like you." he repeated. "And wait, how do you already know about that?"
"What do you think? Am I some fool that can't figure out the excuses you had been making up to meet me? You're a terrible liar." I said.
"And yet you didn't say anything!" he said.
Yes, because I wanted the same!
"I need to know something." I asked.
"Ask me anything." he said eagerly.
"What's the difference between our kiss and the 'kisses' that woman... Tanya? Was that her name? Yeah so, how is it different from the 'kisses' that Tanya had mentioned? It was just a day before, right?" I asked.
I needed to know this. I needed to know how serious he was about me, because I wouldn't be able to take this casually!
"Look, Tanya is just..." he started and then paused, "It's like... Ummm... There wasn't anything. There's nothing."
Okay, that was very helpful!
"Never mind! I don't want to know." I sighed. Probably he didn't owe me any explanation.
"No wait, I can explain." he said, "I know what you're thinking, but..."
"No, you don't." I said, "You don't know what I'm thinking right now. You don't know anything about my feelings, and you don't even care."
Why was I snapping at him? What was fucking wrong with me!
