BPOV
"No, you don't." I said, "You don't know what I'm thinking right now. You don't know anything about my feelings, and you don't even care."
"Then tell me. I want to know what you're thinking right now." he said, "Just tell me, please."
Wait, I had so many things to say, but he might think I was crazy!
"Ummm... Jasper and I were never really in love." I said.
He stared at me for a moment and then asked, "So why were you getting married?"
"It's stupid... We were good friends, and we never actually believed in 'love', so he suggested why don't we get married? I mean, we had known each other since ages, so I thought that might not be a bad idea!"
What was I thinking at that time? I mean, we might have made it work, but it was actually a bad idea!
"Huh!" he said.
Yeah, it was embarrassing!
"I like you... But..." I said.
"But what?" he asked.
"It's not going to work. People are never going to understand us." I said, "They will always give this a dirty twist." Wait, wasn't I going too far? I wasn't even sure if he was that serious about this! I might scare him!
"I mean, I am not sure how serious you're about this, but..." I said.
"I'm serious about this." he said, "But which people? Who are you worried for?"
"Ummm... Your family, they might not understand this. What would they think of me? I was engaged to their one son, and now I was with another. It's embarrassing." Yeah, it was! What was I trying to get myself into?
"I'm sure they will understand. I don't think we'll be doing anything wrong." he said, "I mean, I also had some stupid doubts. I always live in this horrible guilt that I'm living Riley's life. I was supposed to die instead of him in that accident! I'm extremely serious about you, but it'd be like, I'd be living my other brother's life, too."
Yeah, this was all fucked up! We should just let it go!
"But then my doubts didn't make any sense to me." he said, "If we both want the same thing, then I guess we should just forget about everyone and everything else. That's the only way it's going to work."
May be he was right, I thought.
Everything had seemed logical at that time, but not anymore!
And I guess, he also thought the same, and may be that was the reason he had tried to push me away with the same reason?
Yeah, may be I should just learn to forget him!
