"Sir, the NASA satellite picked up a vehicle moving on the glacier about 250 miles to south-west from here."
Agent Coulson lifted his drooping head and glanced at the agents around him checking has anyone noticed him being between the dream and reality for a while. He had closed his tired eyes only for a moment. "So, we have found them," Coulson stated and picked up his empty coffee cup with a frown.
The NASA's research unit was turned into an S.H.I.E.L.D.'s operations center and all the agents who had arrived to Greenland were packed tightly into a small mess hall, some eating supper, some working with their laptops.
Clint Barton jumped up from his seat. The Quinjet teams had returned at the facilities at the nightfall after the unfruitful searching mission. "We'll go after them now?" Barton asked and a few more agents got up on their feet too.
A short-haired, blonde female agent entered the room, glancing at the tired looking group. Agent Catherine Lawson had been working in the unit in a few occasions as a doctor and she knew the glacier better than most of them. "Well, I suggest you'll go after them in the first light," she said lazily and the agents turned at her.
"We can't wait any longer. This Loki could get away from Greenland!" an agent next to Barton said.
Agent Lawson gave him a dry smile. "This is one hell of a big glarier, gentlemen. They are not going to get away from it in one more night. Besides they are in a whole wrong direction. That way is full of ice fjords, without possibilities reaching to the coast. Agent Coulson, your men are tired. You'll face better chances after some sleep, in day light."
"Yeah. I second that. All agents with level 6 or higher hit the sack! The rest will be working in turns," Coulson said and went to the agent who had awoken him. "Let's keep tracking that vehicle with the satellite. I want its coordinates from every hour."
"Yes, sir."
… …
The night was dark but clear, the millions and millions stars were shining bright on the black sky. It was as though the whole universe would have been gazing down at them when Loki and Emma kept driving on the glarier. They hadn't the slightest idea that they were actually followed by someone from up there.
Their journey had continued in a whole different atmosphere in an amicably way, Loki behaving kindly towards her, and momentarily Emma had forgotten what he was and why she was taking this trip with him in the first place. What had happened in the ice canyon and after that had made a huge difference in the way they saw each other now. And she didn't feel so intimidated by him anymore. He had given his word to her that no harm would come to her anymore. And she had liked to believe him, that much of a fool she was.
The SnowCat crawled forward loyally, the headlights granting some light in the night. They sat in the darkness of the cabin only with the little light that reflected back from the snow. Loki's dark figure seemed thoughtful as he stared up at the starry sky like he would have been longing back home, his head against the side window.
The driving had become tiresome and it was easier to stay sharp and awake while chatting. "What do you miss the most?" Emma asked, breaking the silence again. She had liked when Loki had told her about his life in Asgard.
Loki turned at her a bit confused, taking a better seat. "I beg your pardon?"
"From Asgard? Is there something you miss the most from your life back there?"
A dozens of things whirled in his mind, those memories, happy memories of his family. The small smile that played across his face with those thoughts faded and his expression clouded. "My whole life there was nothing but a lie. It would be foolish to miss any of it," he said then in a bitter tone.
"No, it would be normal to miss it. It would be normal to be angry and mourn…"
"To a mortal maybe," Loki remarked, yet knowing she was right. He was angry and he in his own way mourned tremendously.
Emma frowned to that. "So, are you telling me there is nothing you would have wanted back?"
"The throne," Loki answered quickly, his voice pitching up. "That belonged to me."
"If you say so," she doubted. "Hey, you wouldn't want to take the wheel for a while?"
"No thank you. I do the navigation. You do the driving," Loki answered and cast his gaze once more up searching for the Northern Star and a few constellations. They were all up there in the right directions. His job was easy.
Just without a warning someone emerged in front of them into the light cone of the headlights. All that Emma managed to see was a fair female figure standing in the snow right before them. Emma stopped the truck in a shock, fearing she had hit her. Her eyes rounded by a fright as she stared through the windshield. There was no-one there anymore. It was like it would have been a ghost. She hadn't expected anyone roaming in the night out there on the glacier. She hadn't even been prepared to looking out for pedestrians.
"Oh god… I hit someone!" she cried out, pulling on the handbrake and gazing at Loki. That's just what they needed! A hit-and-run or alternatively they would have to drag an injured woman with them.
With an unbelieving expression Loki stared at the empty snowy scenery in the headlights like he had seen a ghost. That glimpse of a woman he had seen had struck him speechless. He turned at Emma with a great confusion in his eyes and swallowed. "You saw it too?" he asked cautiously just to be sure he wasn't seeing things this time.
"There was a woman…" Emma gasped and was opening the door.
"Loki," a gentle woman's voice spoke from the backseat and they both gazed over their shoulders, Emma startled letting out a tiny cry of fear and Loki in a wonder recognizing the voice.
"Mother?" the god of mischief sighed in a soft, sorrowful voice, facing Frigga who sat on the backseat, her illusional projection illuminating the dark cabin around her.
Emma gawped at the beautiful woman who looked at least twice of her age. She had kind, gentle face, her long golden hair was partly down the other part braided over her head like a crown and she wore royal-blue long dress. "M-mother?" Emma mouthed glancing at Loki with a silly, puzzled frown. Emma didn't know how had the woman gotten there but she didn't really care. She was thankful she had killed anyone. At least that's what she hoped. The lady was illuminating in a bit spooky way, though.
Frigga beheld her son with a loving way, tears glimmering in her bright eyes. "When your father told me the news, in my heart I still knew you would be alive, my son," the queen of Asgard said gently. Then she gave a glance at Emma with a kind smile and a bob of head as a greeting. And Emma answered that with a small wave of her hand bewildered.
Loki clenched his lips, more or less mortified, only his eyes glancing at Emma and then turning back at his mother. It was not that he would have been embarrassed of Frigga, quite the opposite. It was not that he wouldn't have been glad to see her, she was the only one he truly had missed, but after everything that had happened in Asgard and the situation they were now made the reunion feeling awkward and unwanted. And he truly wished that Emma wouldn't go telling Frigga anything about the phases of their colorful journey. He couldn't bear the thought that Frigga would find out what sort of monster he had turned out to be.
Loki cleared his throat and gave Emma a sideways glance. "Could you please give us a minute?" he asked from Emma. It sounded more of an order with a bit begging tone, though.
"Um, sure. I'll just… need to check up something anyway… outside," Emma stammered and pushed the door open.
"Would you really send her out there in the cold on her own?" Frigga asked a bit scolding from her son. "She is not even dressed warmly enough."
"She will be fine," Loki assured hastily and glanced at Emma offering her the blanket with a quick move. "Won't you?"
A bit amused, fighting off her grin, she threw the blanket around her shoulders. It was just too weird. The big mean deity had his mother there for a visit and he looked suffering. "Sure. I'll be fine."
"Have you lost your manners, Loki? Are you not going to introduce your new friend to me?" Frigga asked from her son with a motherly way, knowing very well that Loki wasn't any good of making new friends.
The embarrassment could have almost been touched in the air as Loki heaved a sigh, his royal manners and the presence of his mother forcing him to behave according to his status. He sat sideway on his seat so he wouldn't have to look at Frigga over his shoulder. "This is Emma Morgan, she is um… my guide here. Emma Morgan, meet Frigga, the queen of Asgard and my…" Mother. That's when it hit him. She wasn't his mother. He couldn't say that aloud. It wasn't so anymore. It had never been.
Both of the women understood his pain behind that unspoken word in their own way. So, Emma hurried to greeting the queen. "It is an honor to meet you, Your… Grace? Um… Majesty?"
"A pleasure to meet you, Emma Morgan. Please, you can call me Frigga."
"Would you leave us now?" Loki said to Emma with a small uncertain scowl. And she did as she was told, giving them a moment of peace, hopping out from the SnowCat in to the cold darkness and closing the door.
It pained Frigga that Loki had stopped calling her his mother. That what she still was and would always been. "So, am I not your mother anymore?" she asked sounding nearly heart-broken.
Loki lowered his gaze. "You never were…" The silent remorseful words dropped from his lips with a sad sigh, and already he wished he could have taken it back.
Those words were like twisting a knife in heart and the queen of Asgard hid her pain behind a small upset smile. "Hm, always so perceptive about everyone but yourself," she stated hurt in her voice.
Loki closed his eyes hoping to stop the disobedient tears from escaping. "I am…," he begun but his stubbornness came to stop him saying the word 'sorry'. He hadn't even imagined he would see Frigga again and it pained him to look so weak and yet full of hatred before her eyes. Even so she had always been the only one seeing him on his most vulnerable. "This is… not a good time…"
He noticed Emma wading in the snow in the cone of the headlights. She stumbled and fell, and Loki winched fearing she had found another crevasse. To his relief she rose up shaking off the snow from her clothes, probably cursing. Loki attention returned to Frigga when she spoke.
"She seems lovely. I hope I did not disturb anything…?" Frigga asked cautiously, only wanting to keep up the conversation.
Loki felt uncomfortable about the whole subject. "No. It is not as you may think. There is nothing between her and I," he assured doing his best to sound careless. If there was one topic in the whole world he would have never discussed with his mother about, that would have been his love-life in which he had no bragging to do.
"My dear, you do not need my approval for courting a young maiden."
Loki almost groaned. "It is nothing like that, I assure you."
Frigga met with his uncertain gaze and gave him an affectionate smile, her mother's instincts kicking in. "Well, like your brother said, you have always been a talented liar."
"Mother!" Loki cried out in an uneasy tone and only after saying it he realized what he had slipped out of his mouth. She had tricked him to say it. He still loved that woman nonetheless she wasn't his real mother.
"That was all I wanted to hear. You know that I have always been your mother, and I always will be no matter what you would do. You are as much my son to me as Thor is," Frigga said and leaned closer to him. Her understanding towards his little tricks and mischievous side had known no limits. But his later actions such as his attempt to destroy Thor and Jotunheim had been a bit too much for her to understand. She stared straight into his eyes. "Your father…"
Loki shook his head. "His not my father!" he roared and noticed that his outburst had caught also Emma's attention as she glanced towards them looking worried.
Frigga heard someone entering into her chambers in Asgardian palace and she had to let go of her spell. She gave one more look at her son, touching his cheek without really reaching him. "Do not think that it was by coincidence that you ended up in the world of mortals. Please, try to use your time here wisely, Loki," she whispered before she disappeared before his eyes in a fading golden glow.
"That is what I am planning to do," Loki murmured sitting alone in the darkness of the truck. He dropped his gaze down after her illusion was gone, waves of sadness and regret going through him. He missed her, he missed the good old times even how unfair his life had been back then. But there was no returned to that anymore. He awoke from his thoughts when he heard Emma knocking on the side window.
She opened the door ajar, glancing inside. Since the glow of Frigga's illusion had vanished she had dared to come back. "Is it safe to return?" she asked cautiously.
"Yes, of course. Please," the god of mischief said, still seemingly awkward about introducing Frigga and Emma to each other.
Emma jumped on to her seat, glancing once more over her shoulder, making sure they were there alone. The more she had learned about him the less it seemed she understood about him and his life. So, she didn't even try to understand it all completely.
"So, your mother…?" she begun, a little bit amused.
Even in the dim cabin Emma could see that Loki looked irritated. He raised his hand as if telling her to stop. "I would rather not talk about it."
"How did she get here? Is the rest of your family going to pop up too?"
"No. No-one else is coming. And she was not really here either. She sent a projection of herself to speak with me…"
"Like a long-distance-call, huh?"
Loki snorted but not meanly. "It is Asgardian sorcery she once taught me, a long ago."
Emma would have loved to tease him about his mother's visit because it seemed to bother him so much, making him awkward which was something new. But then she realized that perhaps there was something else he did miss from back home, other than the throne, more deeply than the throne. She watched at him a small moment starting to see more humane sides of him. He was so much more than just a mad, lost alien creature. Maybe not even so mad at all. "So, I'm your guide now?" she retorted gently to his earlier introduction.
Loki rolled his eyes. "Well, how would you have introduced me to your mother if she would have popped up here without a warning? Hm?"
"I wouldn't have ever introduced you to my mother."
"Why not? She would not approve me? You think I am not good enough…?" Loki asked slightly offended, and only then realized how his question sounded like. He bit his tongue between his lips just to stop himself saying any more. What on earth had happened to his clear ability to consider his words carefully?
"Oh, I'm sure she would have approved you. In fact, she probably would have tried to sleep with you," she grinned but then fell into a painful embarrassment, face-palming herself with both hands.
"Really?" Loki asked with an astonished grin.
"Yeah. She has a terrible taste in men."
Loki grinned more. "Like mother, like daughter?"
Damn, she was cornered! "Um…?"
Loki let out a confused laugh and so did she. It had been a boldly suggestive, intimate, little chat and he had loved it.
Then Emma turned more serious. "Telling the truth, I haven't seen my mother in eight years."
That seemed a strange thing to Loki. It was not like she would have been on a different planet. "Why is that?"
She shrugged. "She couldn't have made it any clearer that she never wanted to see me again. After she figured out what I was."
"She told that to you?" Loki asked, a part of him sorry for her sake, thinking that Frigga had never treated him so cruelly even knowing what he was from the very beginning even she might have a reason for it in a few occasions.
"You remember those people I told you about who took me away to be tested? When I finally got away from them and returned home… It… ah… wasn't my home anymore. Our house that had been in our family since my grandparents build it was sold to strangers while I was gone. The neighbors told me that my mom had left with some new guy and sold our home. She hadn't told them where. The neighbor's lady gave me a box my mom had left there for me if I should return. There were some of my clothes and a couple of old toys, 600 dollars and a stupid note, saying 'I'm sorry'. My mom bought me out of her life with some lousy 600 bucks," Emma told, her voice beginning to quiver with sadness. "I guess it was better than nothing. The best allowance I had ever gotten. Now, how about that for a happy family?"
To Loki that sounded almost as cruel act as his own biological father's actions against him, when he was abandoned and left to die as a baby. Comparing to her mother, Frigga had been like a heaven-sent angel always standing up for him. "I am sorry to hear that," Loki told, his voice filled with sincere compassion. There wasn't much more he could do. But saying sorry was becoming easier to him.
Emma took a deep breath, not letting her emotions taking the control of her now. Not now. "Queen Frigga seems pretty perfect to me. I wish I would have had someone like her as a mother. My grandmother was like that but she died when I was twelve." She turned at him, the darkness all around making it hard to see his face clearly. "Sorry. This is stupid. I don't mean to bother you with my problems…"
Loki's fingers brushed over her right hand and she lowered her gaze to barely see that he settled his hand next to her on the seat as though offering it to her his palm upward. Without saying another word, holding her breath, Emma hesitatingly let her hand find his. His hand felt big, soft and warm and their fingers interlocked with each other. And it felt like there would have been an unspoken connection between them when their eyes met again.
Sitting there in the dark holding hands and not saying a word felt suddenly like they would have become dependent of each other on the frozen glacier. Two shattered souls had come together not for seeking comfort but finding some from one another in that cruel, mad world that had played them both unfairly.
Tears fell down on her cheeks. The strong feelings aroused by that moment scared Emma and she claimed back her hand cautiously and slowly, Loki letting her go. Who could have known where it would have led them.
"Um… sorry. I…" she stammered. "Maybe we should keep driving. Who knows who would pop up next on the backseat."
Loki smiled to that a bit. "Maybe we should," he said softly and Emma put the vehicle in motion again. She had taken his hand for a moment and he knew it meant something significant for both of them. The emotional charging of that moment of holding hands had been almost stronger than when they had kissed. The most important feelings had always been expressed without words, he reasoned.
Loki thought it was an appropriate idea to forget about the sadness left by the shared painful memories, so he leaned a bit closer to her with a grin. "You wanted to know what I miss the most. That would be playing tricks to others. There was this one time I turned my brother Thor into a frog…" he begun with a voice that expressed perfectly his fondness for mischievousness.
Emma gave him a glance, already forgetting her sorrow because that had sounded insane. "You did what?"
"I turned him into a frog. You know a small, green, croaking creature? You have those here in Midgard, don't you?"
"Yeah, I know what a frog is. But…"
"Well, the whole Asgard was searching for him, nobody bothered to look down on their feet. You should have seen Frigga when she found out that I was behind that trick. I was grounded for a decade."
"Seriously? A… a decade? That's a bit tough love, don't you think?"
"Yes, and look how far it have gotten me."
They both burst out laughing.
"Sorry! That's terrible. I shouldn't be laughing…"
