Chapter 4: Carlisle

I felt like I was slowly going insane. Cassie had completely changed something within me. Vampires do not change much as a rule. We are, for the most part, eternally stuck, frozen forever as we were. Change only ever happened when something great happened to us. Bella changed Edward, for example, his way of thinking, his way of being. For over three centuries I had stayed the same, my knowledge and abilities growing but now… I felt different. My mind had started to want more from life. I had always longed for a partner, a soulmate to share my life; now after meeting Cassie, it was as though I had to get to know her. I felt a connection to her, and it was not just from her enticing blood. Something drew me to her. But I was risking everything. I was risking my family and our secret. And I was terrified. Cassie was far too observant for her own good. She picked up on all the subtleties that everyone else ignored, human instincts normally told them we were dangerous and to stay away. But Cassie was like Bella, it didn't frighten her. I was sure that Cassie would easily find out what I am. I didn't know what to do and, for the first time in many decades, I was really beginning to question myself and my decisions.

I ran back to my car that was at the hospital and drove home, dreading what Alice would say to me. But then I thought back to that night, she looked so smug when she saw me tracking down the man that hurt Cassie. She seemed knowing, as usual. Had she seen something that day? Did she already know everything and had just kept quiet? Everyone was in the house when I arrived home. As I walked into the lounge where everyone was congregated playing video games, Alice squealed with delight.

"She's lovely Carlisle!"

"Alice," I sighed.

"Another human." Rosalie stated. I couldn't tell if she was annoyed, frustrated, or if she just didn't care.

"It's about time Carlisle." Edward smiled at me, his arm around his wife.

"Finally, you can get some." Emmett looked back at me from his game to wink.

"It is not like that." I glared at my boisterous son. "I haven't decided anything. I can't risk us."

"We've already done this before." Edward reminded me gently. "And it ended well." He kissed Bella softly.

"Still…" I tried to protest.

"No Carlisle." Alice pouted at me. "I already love Cassie so don't you try to talk yourself out of this."

"But she's been through so much…"

"And you are the perfect man to help her." Alice finished. I sighed, wanting to believe her words. "Trust me Carlisle. And trust her."

"I do trust you Alice." I hugged her shoulders. "And are you sure I can trust her? I think I can."

"Of course," she scoffed, "She's as trustworthy as Bella was. Anyway, so you better decide to see her on your lunch break." Alice told me. "You should bring her a cup of tea, no sugar just milk, and…." She paused, concentrating on her vision. "A blueberry muffin."

"Thanks Alice." I was a little embarrassed at this.

"You deserve love in your life." Was all she said before returning to watching Jasper and Emmett play their game. A part of me thought she knew far more than what she let on about tomorrow.

I spent the rest of the night with my family. Edward challenged me to chess. Over the years, I had learned how to block my thoughts, sometimes I slipped up, but it made it more of a challenge. My mind however, kept drifting to Cassie. I could see Edward smile whenever it did. Sorry son, I thought. I'll try not to burden your mind with my thoughts too much.

"Don't worry," he murmured, his voice low so only I could hear. "It's just nice to hear how much you like this girl." I sighed at this; I hardly know her. Edward looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "Then get to know her."

All I could think about at work was how many hours, minutes and seconds until my lunch break. It was embarrassing. But Alice and Edward were right (I tried to ignore Emmett's viewpoint), I had been alone for far too long. There was some kind of connection between myself and Cassie, and I was not going to miss up on this opportunity. The timing of everything was awful.; she was going through so much. But maybe I could be a friend, someone to talk to, or hopefully- if she wanted it- something more. At lunch time I dashed off, thankful that I didn't have to sit in my office and be bombarded with nurses. I stopped off along the way to pick up the tea and muffin, god bless Alice.

I felt my nerves begin to rise as I neared the bookshop. I felt silly being nervous about seeing Cassie, in recent years I had little reason to feel the flutter of nerves. But my family helped me to feel comfortable, and now I didn't have to be worried about them disapproving. Maneuvering the paper bag containing the muffin into the same hand as the drink, I used my free hand to open the door. The bell chimed cheerfully, calling out to the people inside. I saw a couple of customers dotted around. They appeared to be regulars, sitting down on one of the many chairs while reading a book. I strolled up to the counter where Cassie stood. She'd turned to greet whoever came in and I saw her face light up when she saw me, a grin spreading across her face. It was a beautiful sight. I checked over her, the cut on her head was healing well, and she looked happy.

"Well, I didn't expect to see you so soon!" Cassie looked pleased as I came to the counter.

"It's my lunch break and, as you know, I have to escape the nurses." I grinned.

"Of course!" She nodded with a laugh. "Perish the thought that you be subjected to cups of tea and overly affectionate females."

"I have, instead, brought you tea." I chuckled, placing the takeaway cup and paper bag on the counter.

"Oh, you shouldn't have!" She smiled at me; her eyes bright. "Well damn, are you a mind reader?" She asked, taking out the muffin and sipping the tea.

"Lucky guess." I replied as she took a bite of the muffin. Her eyes closed as she savored the taste.

"This is so good! Thank you! Anyway, how was your night?" She asked. "You got home okay?"

"I did thank you." It was thoughtful of her to ask. "Edward beat me at chess, but I was able to win the last round. And Emmett tried to get me to play a PlayStation game that he knew he'd beat me at."

"Sounds like fun!" She laughed. "I love playing the PlayStation. I'm a child at heart."

"You'll have to teach me then; it might give me some street cred."

"Please, you're too young not to be cool." Cassie shook her head at me. "Oh, I have something for you though." She produced three books from behind the counter. "As promised, the first three Harry Potter books."

"Thank you, I look forward to being a cultured Brit again." I grinned, carefully taking the novels.

"Excellent, let me know when you've read the first one." She smiled. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?" She finished the muffin and looked a little forlorn that it was gone.

"Well," in truth I just wanted to see her again. I paused, trying to think of something to spend time with her. "I wondered if you'd like me to walk you home again?"

"Oh really?" She was surprised, but I could tell she was delighted. "I'm causing you too much trouble." She frowned.

"No, you aren't." I countered. "I offered. If you want to walk on your own then that's fine though. I just thought, in case you needed me, or someone."

"No, no, I'd love to walk with you." Her cheeks flushed a little and her gaze dropped. A quirk she displayed when a little embarrassed. It was endearing. The scent of her enticing aroma filled the air, and I had to swallow back the familiar venom as it pooled into my mouth at the smell of her blood. I hated myself for that moment. How dare my body react to her that way! It never happened around humans any more, but Cassie was different… her blood sang to me, inviting the venom to my mouth. It disgusted me. I wanted to be better for her.

I shook my thoughts away. I hardly knew her yet! Loneliness had taken its toll on me though. I looked into her sparkling eyes as she regarded me with nothing but warmth, if I could blush I would have.

"My shift finishes at five, so I'll come and meet you here again."

"That sounds great." Cassie sipped her tea. "How is work today?"

"Fairly busy." I replied. "I've been doing mostly paperwork though."

"Fun." She laughed, her eyes lighting up. I loved her laugh. It brightened her face and made her green eyes sparkle. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and I could hear her heartbeat spike as she looked at me. "Can I make you dinner tonight? Or are you abstaining again."

"I'm afraid I'll be abstaining." I smirked slightly. I felt bad that I couldn't be normal with her. I wanted nothing more than to cook dinner with someone and be able to eat it at a dining table. "But I'll be more than happy to join you."

"Company would be nice." Cassie smiled, but her face turned joking, "You can even pretend to drink water again." I couldn't help but laugh.

I left the cozy bookstore reluctantly. As much as I loved my job, I wanted to get to know Cassie better. Just being in her presence, sensing her happiness and watching her expressions calmed me and brought me some joy. To have been so changed by a single human was astounding to me. It was thrilling. But something worried me. The way Cassie looked at me, with a mixture of interest and confusion was not normal. She scrutinized me, her eyes narrowing minutely, her teeth toying with her lower lip as she listened to my every word and watched my every small movement. It made me wonder what she was seeing, what she was thinking. She was uncannily observant, reading between the lines and seeing things that other humans could not. It was almost like a power. And it made me nervous. What could she see within me? Was she seeing my true nature? Something I had done was making her suspicious- and she questioned actions in her own mind probably far more than most do. Normally, humans preferred to be ignorant, to pretend that everything was okay and normal- that nothing strange or out of explanation existed. And yet, Cassie seemed the exact opposite.

Entering work, I smiled at my colleagues and looked at the patient files I had to tend to. Even my work could not distract me from my thoughts.