"Uncle Freddy, mind telling me what the fuck you are doing?" I asked, placing my hands firmly on his shoulders before bringing his face close to mine. "You're acting very strange. Don't you see the error of this situation? We're in a different world for crying out loud." I whispered, hoping Goodwitch would not hear me. "How are we going to get home? Has that question not been going through your mind since we arrived here?" I asked.

"In all honesty, it has not. You always told me to go with the flow, no matter how bad some situations might seem. You told me to 'just roll with it,' so that is exactly what I'll do," Freddy retorted. "Listen, I know that you're shaken up about this. I am too, trust me. But we cannot just stand here and weep like little children. We have to move forward, my nephew."

I sighed, dropping my hands of his shoulders and stepped backwards. "It's just that… I don't know how to deal with this. I wish I did but I don't… it's always different in stories. The main protagonist ends up in a strange new world, meets the important characters, becomes a hero, saves the day, gets all the pussy, and lives out his life in the world he's in. But… I don't think that's how we're going to end up. At least I hope."

"Where do you get all these weird fantasies?" Freddy asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Well it all started when I was born… and everything just went downhill after that. But we're getting off topic. Listen, we have to find a way home. And from my experiences in writing and reading all of those RWBY fan fictions I can safely say that Ozpin is our guy to talk to. And we need to talk to him today. ASAP." I replied, looking at Goodwitch. I turned around and motioned for Freddy to follow me. After catching up with Goodwitch she turned to look at me and spoke up.

"I take it you have things all sorted out?" she asked.

"We need to talk to Ozpin as soon as possible. I don't want to come off as demanding but… it is kind of important." I replied, scratching the back of my head. "But we'll wait until out tour has come to an end."

Goodwitch nodded her head before continuing her tour of Beacon. We followed, unsure of what we were about to see. I half expect the room where the bar will be installed to be like a former classroom or some crazy stuff. Although I must say you'll probably be able to make pretty decent bar, should it really be a former classroom. Perhaps a small karaoke machine will do these students some good. I mean from what I've seen in the series these students don't really go out all that much, aside from a few episodes. I wonder how many types of alcoholic beverages we'll be allowed to serve. I mean it's not like there are zero types of whiskeys around Vale. Just look at freaking Crow, he's an alcoholic.

Speaking of Crow… and this sounds pretty weird if I say it myself. But in what volume are we? Deciding I wanted to get answers a bit quickly before we talked to Ozpin, I innocently turned my head to Goodwitch and spoke up. "Excuse me, Ms. Goodwitch, but… since we're not from around here, would you care to tell us… what me missed?" I asked.

Goodwitch raised an eyebrow at me. "What you've missed? And what should the two of you have missed?" she asked.

"Well I just wanted to know if… uhm… the dance! Yes Ozpin told me something about a school dance. I wanted to know if we're going to be serving drinks when we start as your own personal bartenders." I replied, mentally praising myself for my awesome lying.

"Well," Goodwitch mused, tapping her chin. "The dance will be in four days from now. You'll have the bar to yourselves by tomorrow, and you might want to introduce yourselves to the students. But to answer your question: Yes, you will be serving at the upcoming dance. See it as a good way of getting to know the students you'll be serving. Although I must warn you that a lot of our students, especially freshmen students, are still under aged. If you happen to stumble upon a few of them, ask them to show you their ID. It's on their scrolls, digitalized, and so you'll be able to see if someone is of the right age to drink."

"You guys thought this all out pretty well, didn't you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "Not that I'm complaining. But it's kind of weird, that's all."

"Well I never thought Ozpin would actually go through with this idea. I mean it's not every day a school has its own personal bar installed. Although I do hope that students will be students," Goodwitch replied.

"And by that you mean that they'll choose the bar that's closest to them because they're too lazy to walk further distances?" I asked, earning a nod from her.

"I like the way you think, Mr. Ramses. If I may ask, how old are you?" Goodwitch asked, a hint of genuine curiosity in her voice.

"I'm nineteen years old. And if I may be so rude, how young are you, Ms. Goodwitch?" I asked.

Crap. Here I was about to enter one of my many, many "stages." Basically when I get to know people a little bit better, especially woman, I do some "fake flirting" with them. Usually the women I do this to are good friends, or guests that have visited our restaurant. But this was Ms. Goodwitch. Ms. Freaking. Goodwitch. This woman could use her semblance to pull my dick off if she wanted to. And here I am saying some dumb shit to her.

This was going to be a very good day.

"Young? What kind of question is that?" Ms. Goodwitch asked.

"Well my mother always told me two thing. One: Don't ask a woman how old she is. And two: Stop leaving the toilet seat up. Guess which one I took to heart and which one I didn't," I replied.

"It looks like your mother taught you well, then," Goodwitch commented.

"Yeah," I replied. "... She did."

"Okay, whose dick do I have to suck to get some attention?" Freddy suddenly chimed in, smiling brightly as he wrapped his arms around my waste. "Ramses, have I ever told you: you have tight abs."

"You've told me that several times, yes. And just like before: Get your arms off my waste before I gnaw them off," I replied, shaking my head in slight annoyance. "Ms. Goodwitch, where were we again?" I asked.

Ms. Goodwitch was about to speak up when all of a sudden her scroll started beeping. Taking out her scroll, she tapped on it a few times before a screen popped up. "Oh not this again," she said to herself, seemingly annoyed with something. "I am so sorry, but there is a situation that needs my attention. And I am afraid you'll have to come with me for a second. No way am I leaving the two of you alone on campus."

I exchanged a confused glance with Freddy before shrugging. We followed Goodwitch, who was for some reason moving at a very quick pace. We followed, keeping up with little effort when we all of a sudden came to a halt. We had reached a big set of doors, and we could hear screaming and shouting coming from behind the doors.

"Are they having an orgy without me?!" Freddy exclaimed, pushing Glynda and me aside. "Open this door you fiends! How dare you not to include me in your newfound way of coitus!"

"Freddy, what the hell are you doing?" I asked, grabbing him by his collar. "You're not supposed to act this way, you idiot! There could be some serious shit happening behind those doors, man!"

Freddy chuckled, patting my head. "Ha, what kind of 'serious shit' are we talking about, my young naïve nephew."

"A food fight."

Me and Freddy both turned to Glynda.

"I'm sorry, but did you just say a food fight?" I asked, turning my attention to the two doors. "If that's so then I know enough. Thank you Ms. Goodwitch," I said, turning to her. "You may… uhm… want open up the door and do that thing teachers always do when students are having fun."

Freddy turned his head to me. "Detention?" he asked.

Goodwitch smirked.

"Don't bring her up to ideas, Freddy." I whispered.

The doors were flung open by Goodwitch's semblance. She marched into the cafeteria, and I hummed the Imperial March theme from Star Wars for the dramatic effect. Tables flew across the room and were placed back where they were originally placed. Chairs, and even the huge piles of food that lay scattered across the cafeteria were all placed on their respective plates. I watched in mild curiosity however. I mean yeah, this was cool, but I'd seen it for four times. I know what's about to happen.

Freddy on the other hand was panting heavily, holding onto my shoulders for dear life as he kept on whispering, "Think of cock, think of cock," over and over again. I sighed, shaking his hands off my shoulders before watching Goodwitch finish her work. I could not help but feel a little uneasy about this situation. I knew who were in this cafeteria, and knowing myself things might take a turn for the worse. Freddy was still kind of hyperventilating, so I decided to calm him down… by simply shouting some savage insults at him to calm his mind.

"Freddy, calm down you dick-sucking faggot. I think you're causing unnecessary drama," I said.

"I don't give a bloody fuck about what you think!" Freddy retorted.

"Jesus Christ, Freddy what is with this language?" I asked, although it just sounded like I was shouting at him.

"That woman just levitated things. That's not supposed to happen. Are you freaking insane?" he asked, turning to Goodwitch. "I have been scarred for life. Ramses, get the lube."

"I ain't getting you shit. Now stop being such a pussy and man up." I said, placing my hands firm on his shoulders. "Please, Freddy, do it for… no never mind that sounds way too gay. Sorry, my word of encouragement will have to wait."

Freddy sighed, his breath slowly going back to normal. "I am… I don't know what to think. What is life, Ramses?"

Before I could reply, I noticed the cafeteria had gotten unusually quiet. I slowly turned my head, only to see that we were being watched by ten curious students and a not too pleased teacher.

"Good job, Freddy," I said, smacking his cheeks with both of my hands simultaneously. "You caused a scene! Good job, man! I love you so much!"

"Are you being sarcastic?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Have you been sucking dicks for the past twenty years?" I retorted. I sighed, turning to Ms. Goodwitch before continuing. "So… how is the food? I've heard mango is very good for your skin, you know."

"It was alright." One of the students replied.

"Silence." Goodwitch snapped at the student. ""Ms. Rose, Ms. Belladonna, Ms. Xiao Long, Ms. Schnee," she said, turning her head to the rest of the students, "Ms. Nikos, Ms. Valkyrie, Mr. Ren, and finally Mr. Arc. You are all in big trouble."

'Ooh boy. But just wait until Ozpin arrives,' I thought to myself.

A minute of silence passed.

'Any time now.'

Another minute passed.

'Okay, what the fuck is going on? Don't tell me that this is some kind of "Butterfly effect" bullshit. Ozpin is supposed to arrive here. Why isn't he here?' I thought to myself, exchanging glances between Goodwitch and team RWBY and JNPR.

"I think detention will be sufficient punishment," Ms. Goodwitch concluded. "You all need to learn from your mistakes. This is for your own good."

I turned to Goodwitch, looking at her with a confused expression. "Detention? Just because of a food fight which was cleaned really easily. I mean just look at them," I said, motioning to the students, and trying to hold in some of that good old excitement that was going through my head. "They're covered in food, drinks, and probably some other nasty stuff. So why not… let this one slide?" I suggested with a bit on hesitation. I watched as Goodwitch's expression turned into that of annoyance when she looked at me.

"You are suggesting I do not punish these students? They know this is against school policy." Goodwitch retorted.

'Crap, arguing with a woman isn't really one of my stronger points.' I thought to myself, shifting my gaze towards Freddy. I smirked. "Freddy, my good friend. Would you mind convincing Ms. Goodwitch why these students should not get detention," I said, getting a confused look from Freddy.

"Excuse me, what?" Freddy asked, placing his hand on his hip.

"Freddy, my guy, please help me out here." I whispered, motioning to team RWBY and JNPR.

"Fine," Freddy sighed, turning to Goodwitch. "These students they're… young, Ms. Goodwitch. They're in school and that—as I know because I talk from experience—can be pretty boring and monotone. I skipped class when I was younger, Ramses over here has skipped a few of his."

"I only skipped because my teacher was a freaking creep," I added.

"Anyways," Freddy continued, rolling his eyes. "You must understand that it is just how teenagers are. They push our buttons; try to get under our skin. But remember that you were like this too, you know. And you know how your view on teachers and parents was back in the day. So why are you punishing students for being the way they are?"

I nodded my head in agreement. "He's right. Now I'm an idiot, there's no point in denying that. But come one, these guys are like… what, seventeen years at tops?"

"I'm turning eighteen in a few months," Yang suddenly chimed in.

"Nice, legalized sex," I whispered to Freddy, who laughed and slapped my head in a joking manner. "Anyway, just let these students off the leash every once and a while, okay?"

"No."

My mouth went agape, and so did the mouths of the two teams. Goodwitch turned around, facing the students. "Detention starts tomorrow, students. I hope you learned something from this."

"Holy crap, lady. You are evil," I said, blinking a few times. "I mean you're not bad looking, but you need an attitude change ASAP," I concluded, turning to Freddy and tapping his shoulder. "Don't you agree?"

"My words were completely useless," Freddy breathed out, holding his head. "I… seem to have lost my touch."

"Well we can always try a different touch, if you know what I mean," I said in a jokingly seductive manner.

"No, let's just not do that at all." Freddy replied, turning to Goodwitch one last time. "Okay, so I like really think you're pretty, and… no, okay just no. I can't do that." Freddy said, tuning to me again. "Ramses, I have committed a gay sin. Show me your-."

"Nope, nope, nope." I quickly cut him off, putting my index fingers tightly in my ears. "Not having that. Just no." I turned my attention back to Glynda. Here I was, standing in the presence of characters that I had grown fond off for over the course of two years. It was time I stood up for my fellow youngsters… well, even though we don't know each other personally I still need to do something. I just have to think. What did I do when I got into these kinds of situations?

"Students, your punishment will-."

"It wasn't them who started the fight!" I blurted out, cutting off Goodwitch before she could finish her sentence. "It was… well it was someone else, but not them, I swear."

"And how can you possibly know that?" Goodwitch asked, closing the distance between us. "You were with Ozpin before you arrived here. And then you were with me until we reached the cafeteria. So how in Oum's name can you possibly know that they did not start it?" she asked.

"Well… how do you know they started it?" I retorted.

Goodwitch seemingly recoiled a bit after hearing that statement. "I… well they are the only students around here." She replied.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean they started the fight. If you're going to punish them, you're going to have to punish every student that was present in the cafeteria at the time the food fight started. That would mean you, Ozpin, and perhaps every teacher here at Beacon would have to work extra hours because of the detention of so many students. And I don't think teachers would like that, no would they?" I asked, mentally praising myself for coming up with this utter bullshit in mere seconds. Damn I'm good.

Goodwitch shifted her gaze between me, my uncle, and the two teams. She rubbed her temples for a good minute before letting out a sigh of defeat. "Fine," she said, looking at me. "I will let them off the hook… but should this ever happen again I will-."

"Then my nephew will happily go on a date with you and clean the cafeteria afterwards." Freddy cut her off, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Trust me, he's a nice guy and a good cleaner."

I looked at Freddy with a raised eyebrow before shaking my head. I grabbed his hand and twisted it, making him bend over in pain. "Freddy," I sneered. "Do that again and I'll break all of those fingers. Understood, faggot?"

"Y-yes. Please I still need those to pleasure other men." He breathed out in pain.

I let go of his hand and he let out a sigh of relief. I looked at Goodwitch, who had her arms crossed. I shrugged, digging my hands in my pockets. "Okay, now that that's settled… shall we continue?" I asked.

Wait, where was all this confidence coming from? Oh, right, adrenaline and all that good stuff, I suppose.

"Of course, let us continue," Goodwitch said, walking out of the cafeteria. "Good day, students," she said, editing the cafeteria.

"Come on, Freddy, let's get a move on. It's not polite to keep a lady waiting… or does that work differently in your world?" I asked, turning to Freddy before beginning my walk towards the exit. I simply chuckled when Freddy ran past me and slapped the back of my head. I took a quick glance behind me only to see team RWBY and team JNPR talking and doing these timid cheering's among one another. I shook my head and dug my hands in my pockets and slowly walked after Freddy.

"Hey, dude!" a voice called out to me, belonging to a certain lilac-eyed blond brawler. "Thanks for the save!"

I gave a two-fingered salute while continuing my walk.

Badass exit? Check. Yep, this was going to be a really weird, yet good day.

Now to find Ozpin and hope to find how we ended up in this bullshit.

A/N

Thank you for reading this chapter. And if you are, be sure to check out another story... that was not made by me, but by a good friend. The story is called: Rebels 4 Man and it's a COD zombies and Star Wars Rebels crossover fic with the more serious Black Ops 3 zombie crew. If you want to, feel free to check it out!