Each and every morning when one wakes up, an individual may roll out of bed, attempt to murder his alarm clock, jump into the shower and then, when he is back to his room, have to decide what to wear. Now, for some people this may be a fairly easy decision but for others, it's a painstaking, mind-boggling, headache-causing ordeal. When I from a pleasant dream, I usually open my eyes and close them again, wanting to get a bit more sleep before taking on the hardships of the outside world. That's what I usually do, anyways. Whenever I would have to go to school I always made sure to set my alarm an hour before I actually had to wake up. That way I was already up and I could just go back to sleep again. It sounds weird, but it helps me be fit when the time comes to actually go out of bed. This is what I usually do when I'm in my room. You know, alone. But now that I have to share my room with someone else things tend to get… vulgar.

I awoke to the sound of my alarm-clock. I was surprised my phone still had enough battery left for it to make the alarm go off. I yawned, blinking a couple of times, only to quickly cover my eyes when I noticed the blinds had already been opened. The morning sun shined brightly through my dorm, and I wanted nothing more to get up and close those fucking blinds again. Seriously, have you ever felt like punching your mom or dad every now and then? Well I did. My mom would always walk into my room on the weekends and open the blinds at 10 am, and always sing with a high pitchy voice, telling me to wake up.

I groggily opened my eyes again and got out of bed, stretching my back and yawning. I looked around, hoping that a certain someone had not gotten up yet.

"Ramses, dear, I'm already dressed. Please hurry it up!" Freddy called out from the bathroom.

Fuck.

"I'm already on my way, Freddy!" I called back to him. Walking towards the bathroom I reached for the door handle. I stopped myself from opening the door, however. "Yo, Fred?" I asked, earning a 'yeah, what is it?'' from him. "You're not lying, are you? You're dressed, right?"

"Ramses," Freddy chuckled as he opened the bathroom door. "I would never do something like that. Tell someone I'm dressed and wait for them to enter and see my package."

"Freddy." I said.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You… uhh… your Slim Jim is out of its cage," I replied, closing my eyes and shaking my head. "Just… close your fucking pants next time, okay? I've seen enough dicks in my internships as a medical student, but I don't need to see yours."

I heard Freddy mutter something, but paid it no attention. I felt him walk past me, and I sighed in relief that he was gone. I quickly turned around and locked the door, and took of my boxers and stepped into the shower. I let out another sigh when the water was instantly at the right temperature. Thank you, Freddy, for taking the first shower. I grabbed a nearby bottle of shampoo that was placed on a small white shower cabinet inside the shower and started washing my hair.

I still couldn't really comprehend any of this, and knowing enough about the human body and how it reacts to certain situations I'm sure I'll soon reach my breaking point. In all honesty it's just a matter of time, and I'm surprised Freddy hasn't completely freaked out yet. Out of the two I'm the most stable one… at least when it comes to situations that don't involve girls, homework, or annoying guests that complain they've been waiting thirty minutes for their drinks while in reality it's been five. Seriously, what happened to patience? I finished up washing my entire body and turned off the shower. Stepping out of the shower I grabbed a towel and started drying myself off.

And it was at this moment I knew I fucked up.

I forgot to take my clothes with me to the bathroom, which means they're still beside my bed. And I'm completely naked, said for my boxers. "Freddy, there wouldn't happen to be any spare boxers now would it?"

"As a matter of fact there are two! One for me and one for you. Someone must have been very generous, because they even brought us some clothes to wear!" Freddy replied.

I let out a sigh. "Okay, I'm done showering." I replied, walking towards the door to exit the bathroom. "Freddy I am exiting the shower room. Remember that I want you to keep a two meter distance from me."

"That restraining order you came up with don't make no sense!" Freddy retorted.

"It does when I'm sharing a room with a creep like you! Now go to your corner!" I replied, exiting the bathroom while simultaneously keeping a tight grip around my towel. "I have exited the bathroom, Freddy. I am now going to walk towards my bed and get dressed. I can see you too the privilege to get the clothes we were given and lay them on the end of my bed. Thank you for that, by the way." I slowly walked towards the bed, keeping my eye on Freddy who had his arms crossed as he stared at me from one of the corners of our room. "I am now dropping the towel, so turn around! Don't peek unless you want me to gnaw your arms off!"

Freddy rolled his eyes, but turned around nonetheless. "I swear you are so overreacting right now."

"Tell that to the guy you fucked into the hospital… literally." I replied, shivering before I reached for the boxers. I dropped the towel and put on the boxers as fast as I could before turning to Freddy. Huh, he really didn't turn around? That's a first. I looked at the remainders of my clothes. There was a white t-shirt along with a white blouse and black skinny jeans. There appeared to be shoes lying on front of my bed as well. That looked like the kind of shoes a groom would be wearing on his wedding… meaning they looked expensive as hell. I grabbed the socks that Freddy had also placed on my bed and put them on. After that I put on my jeans and shoes. I the grabbed the t-shirt and put it on before reaching for the blouse afterwards. It was when I lifted up the blouse, however, that I noticed another piece of attire I had grown quite fond off.

A black tie. Nice!

I grabbed the tie, inspecting it before clenching my fists in joy. I was not an expert on how to put them on, but it could be done nonetheless. It took me a minute but I was finally able to get the tie done correctly. I brushed off the clothes with my hands and looked at myself in the mirror of our dorm. I looked pretty-.

"Looking just like your uncle, bud!" Freddy said, standing beside me. "Same outfit, same job, could this be a MESSAGE!" he exclaimed, slapping my butt. "It's a blessing from the gods themselves! They are telling you to turn to the good side."

"You mean the dark side, 'cause, you know, you get fucked in the dark side when you turn gay, right?" I retorted, holding back my laughter when I watched Freddy's amused smirk turn into a glare. "That explains why Stormtroopers are white! Hahahaha!"

"Typical heterosexual behavior right there," Freddy said, rolling his eyes. "Now come one, we have to get going… I think. Let's head to the bar and see if Goodwitch want lying!"

"Sounds like a plan but… I am hungry." I replied, pouting while holding my stomach. "I need food."

"You can eat this meat right here." Freddy suggested, bringing his hand to his pocket.

"Freddy it's been twenty minutes ever since I woke up, can we please stop with the gay jokes for now?" I sighed, shaking my head.

"So you don't want the beef jerky?" Freddy asked, raising an eyebrow.

I stopped shaking my head and turned my attention to Freddy's hand. There was a beef jerky in his hand. Still wrapped in the original package. How did he get his hands on that? Deciding not to press on, I grabbed hand full and placed a few in my mouth. "Freddy, you're a life saver." I said, patting his shoulder. "But let's see where we can get actual breakfast."

"We could try the cafeteria." Freddy suggested.

"Then to the cafeteria we go!" I exclaimed, running towards the door of our room.


"Jesus, we came at the wrong time, uncle Freddy." I commented, watching in shock as hundreds of students were seated at hundreds of tables. They were all wearing the Beacon uniform, so me and Freddy were kind of standing out because of our attire. Nonetheless we made our way over to an empty table and took our seats. Freddy, being the oldest of the two of us, decided to get our food while I kept our table occupied. I fiddled with my tie in boredom, observing the new surroundings. There were some students that had their eyes fixed on me, probably wanting to know who the hell I was. I paid them little to no attention, probably because I was still a tad bit tired for some reason.

I leaned back, placing my hands behind my head and stretching my back again. It was then, after I lowered my arms I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned my head, only to be greeted by the face of a somewhat familiar person.

"You're sitting at our table. Beat it, before we beat you."

Cardin Winchester everyone! Biggest cunt in this entire school with a face only a mother could love—no, actually, scrap that. This fucking ginger looking dickhead probably disappointed his mother on numerous occasions, so even his face couldn't be loved by her. I really felt sorry for his parents. This guy acted all tough, but this wasn't the first bully I had to deal with. Now mind you I am not one that usually resorts to violence. I tend to break people my own way with my greatest weapon.

That big mouth of mine… and the ability to use some dank insults to back up my comments—or should I say roasts? Ah, well, time to reply!

"Oh, I didn't know this was your table? I didn't see your name on it, so I thought it was free." I said, getting up. "But please go ahead and take your seat," I said, motioning elegantly to his seat, like you see some waiters do in the movies. "Would you like anything to drink? Perhaps a mint tea to get that stank breath of yours to go away."

"Yeah," Cardin chuckled, motioning for his team to take their seats. "You can get me a—hey, what did you just say to me?!" he asked.

Cardin got up from his seat, expecting to tower over me. Well Cardin… I'm just a tad bit taller than you, so you can suck it!... not my dick, but you know, the… never mind. I should stop the inner monologue now. I looked at Cardin and he looked at me. His eyes were glaring daggers at me, and mince were probably relaxed. Like I said, this wasn't the first bully I have encountered, and it certainly won't be the last.

"Mr. Winchester," I said, placing my hands behind my back. "Your breath smells like you've been talking through the wrong hole. That's probably why you talk so much shit anyway. Now I'm going to tell you this once." I walked towards the table were Cardin's team was seated. I tapped it, bringing the bully's attention to the table. "Do you see your name written on this here table?" I asked.

Cardin said nothing, but he kept glaring.

"Because I sure don't." I finished, taking a seat at the table again. "Now I'm not going to be a douchebag and tell you to look for another table, we can share it. I just want to eat peacefully without you starting a scene. I've already had enough of those."

"And you just expect me to accept the insult you threw at me?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"And you expect me to leave?" I retorted, looking at him. "You don't know me, but I sure know you, Cardin. Now are you going to get you food and sit down—and perhaps even start a friendly conservation with me? Or are you going to be the "tough guy" and start a scene which will result with you getting detention and me leaving unscarred?"

Cardin clenched his fists, grabbing me by my collar. "Who do you think you are?"

"That would be my nephew, and I would appreciate it if you let him go."

I turned my head and so did Cardin. "Hey, what's good, Freddy?" I asked, tapping Cardin's hand. "This ginger over here was just showing me how he polished his nails the other night. He did a good job."

"And who might you be? His uncle?" Cardin asked, releasing me. "This is our spot." He stated.

"Is your name written over it?" Freddy asked.

"No, but-."

"Then it's not your spot." Freddy cut him off, taking a seat beside me. "I got use two apples, two slices of bread with PB and J, and some milk." He said, handing me the tray. "The lunch lady was giving me weird looks at first, but after I told her who I was she gave me the food immediately. Isn't that awesome?"

"It sure is," I replied, taking a bite from the apple. "Cardin, care to join us?"

"Team," Cardin announced. "We're leaving these idiots. We'll find another table."

I looked at Cardin as he and his team left our table. I shook my head in disappointment. This guy… typical bully. Bad attitude, and no general sense of direction.

I love it.

"Who was that young man?" Freddy asked.

"Just some guy who thought he had balls. Turns out all he has is a cute little boy-pussy." I replied, taking another bite of my apple. "I took care of it."

"I noticed." Freddy replied.

"Hey, aren't you the guy from yesterday?" a feminine sounding voice asked me.

I looked up, bringing my attention to the source of the voice. "Hey, Ruby." I smiled. "Yeah, it's the guy from yesterday."

"With his favorite uncle!" Freddy added, placing his arm around my shoulder. "Come on and scoop over so I can sit on that dick."

"Just… just shut the fuck up." I retorted, jabbing my elbow into Freddy's side. "Anyways, Ruby, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I think you swallowed some rose pedals after I left, at last I think that's what happened when I heard the "ack!" thing, right?" Ruby replied.

"Yeah, Freddy just had to ask me something and I opened my mouth." I replied.

Ruby snickered. "Well, you got start swallowing something, right?"

"Using my own words against me? You're a quick learner, Ruby." I replied, chuckling to myself. "So where's your team?"

"My team? Oh, yeah, my team!" Ruby exclaimed, turning around and waving at her team. "Team, come over here real quick!"

Team RWBY obliged with their team leader's command and started making their ways over to our table. In all honesty I was beginning to sweat a bit. I now realized that I was about to be talking to characters that are supposed to be fictional. Jesus Christ this is anti-climactic as fuck.

"You guys, this is the guy I was talking about. This is Ramses." Ruby smiled, motioning to me. "And his uncle Big daddy D." she said, motioning to Freddy.

I spit out the piece of apple that were in my mouth and erupted into a fit of laughter. Holding my stomach and reeling my back backwards, I kept on laughing. "Big daddy D, she actually remembered that one! Jesus this is price material right here!" I looked at Freddy with teary eyes, while eh just rolled his head and crossed his arms.

"Ruby, my name is Freddy." Freddy corrected, shaking his head. "Ramses was only joking when he told you that yesterday. So please refrain from using such language."

"No, by all means keep going!" I laughed. "Big daddy D be taking in them sausages!"

"This is not funny." Freddy pouted.

"It is to me," I said, standing up and holding out my hand to Ruby. "You, my feminine friend, have earned my respect."

"I aim to please." Ruby replied, shaking my hand. "May I introduce you to: Weiss, Blake, and my sister Yang. Together we are team RWBY!"

I nodded, taking in the information I already knew for a good two years now. I looked at Blake first. "A pleasure to meet you, Miss. Belladonna." I said, bowing my head respectfully. "Same goes for you, Ms. Schnee, Ms. Xiao Long."

"How do you know my last name?" Blake asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow at me.

Ooooh boy, I done fucked up again. First Ruby and now this. Okay, just tell them the same lie Goodwitch told Ruby. "Uhh, Ms. Goodwitch told me. I have good memory, and a crippling depression, but that's not the issue right here."

"A crippling what now?" Freddy asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Have you been watching that Idubbbz fella again?"

"Does the term "I'm gay" sound any familiar?" I replied. "Don't talk shit about him, or Maxmoefoe." I said, leaning in closer to Freddy. "But most of all… Never. Ever. Talk shit about FilthyFrank."

"Don't mind to interrupt, but who are you two again?" Blake asked.

"Ah, yes." I replied, turning my attention to her. "I am Ramses, and this is Freddy. Can't believe you forgot our names already. Freddy's my uncle, so yeah, there's that."

"Your uncle? Isn't he a little old to be a student at Beacon?" Blake asked.

"The audacity!" Freddy said. "I'll have you know I've had more men than you could ever imagine, young lady."

"Fun fact," I said, leaning in closer to the group. "He isn't lying, assuming you know the term 'homosexual'."

"Your uncle is gay?" Yang asked.

"I am proud of my liking for meat, yes." Freddy replied, holding out his hand. "Fred Willers. If you need pleasure… then call Ramses, because I'll be hanging out with your brother instead."

"I don't have a brother." Yang replied, shifting her gaze between me and Freddy.

"Father?" Freddy asked.

"Yeah?" Yang replied unsurely.

"Is he single?"

"Yes."

"I know where I'll be spending my next summer break."

I slapped Freddy on the back of his head. "Fred, hold your tongue! We've just met these girls—except Ruby, but still, can't you stay calm and drop your sexual preferences for once?" I sighed. I looked at Yang, holding out my hand. "Sorry, my uncle is… you know, a fag."

"What's that mean?" Yang asked, holding out her hand as well and shaking mine.

"It basically means that someone is homosexual, but a shortened version." I replied.

"Oh," Yang said, nodding in understanding. "I get it. Well, Freddy, if you're a fag and you're happy about it, then so am I! I mean, who am I to judge?"

"I am so going to rupture your anus for this," Freddy sneered, whispering in my ear. "Better prepare your nuts, because I'm coming to grab them."

"I can hardly wait." I replied, patting his head. "Now then, Ms. Schnee… or do you prefer Weiss? I don't know, but I think Ms. Schnee seems a bit too formal for a school."

"Honestly I just want to get back to my breakfast." Weiss replied. "But Weiss is fine, thank you."

"Okay… well now that the introductions are over, feel free to go back to your breakfast. I have a feeling we'll see each other again real soon." I said, taking my seat again.

"Sure thing. See ya, Ramses!" Ruby said, walking back to her table, her team following her while bidding their goodbyes. I looked down at my tray and picked up the sandwich and started eating it. Savoring the taste and closing my eyes, I failed to notice another person walking up to our table.

"Hey." The person announced.

"Yeah?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"That was pretty cool what you did back there. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation you and Cardin had. You've got guts, more than I did back when Cardin picked on me."

I opened my eyes and was greeted by no one else than Mr. Knight in shining armor himself.

Jaune L'Oréal Paris Arc.

"Mind if I join you?" Jaune asked.

"My friend, go right ahead." I smiled, tapping the empty seat beside me.