"Loki…"
At first, it was a soft whisper, echoing in the dark cold landscape around him under black starry sky, snow and ice everywhere he looked. Like a phantasm, she stood there with a sweet loving smile, reaching her hands towards him, her long golden hair waving in the gentle wind.
"Loki..."
A tender voice was calling out for him, pulling him out from the merciful dream-like state as his awareness and senses were slowly returning. He felt warm and safe and with the first long inhale of breath he recognized the familiar scents around him, noticing that the tormenting pain in his body was gone.
"Loki."
He felt a gentle hand caressing his forehead and another hand holding on his left one. He squeezed that hand, his first syllables coming out in a low murmur.
"Em-ma," he breathed out her name, his weary eyes opening with a hope of finding her by his side.
"It is all right now, my darling son. You are home," the same gentle voice spoke to him.
It was Frigga who sat next to him on the side of his bed, caressing his face and stroking his hair in the same way she used to do when he was a child. He looked his normal-Asgardian-self again.
"M-mother?" he sighed weakly, emotions flooding over him as he saw her.
He was grateful for having a chance to see Frigga. But otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to be there with a stomach-twisting realization that he truly was back home, in his own bed chamber, in his own bed. Everything around him was exactly as he had showed to Emma with his illusion. Except that she wasn't there to share it with him. The last thing he remembered was her kiss, her soft lips so warm against his and her voice whispering to him that he would be all right. What about her? Was she safe? Had she survived away from that place? Away from SHIELD?
Loki swallowed down the sickening feeling of worry that crept in his throat. He felt dizzy as he tried to lift his head from the pillow as though his vigor had been drained out of him. Then he touched cautiously his chest, the spot where the laser had burned him. It felt normal. The pain was gone like it would have never existed at all.
"Stay down! Your body is restored but you must rest," Frigga ordered gently and placed her hand over his, giving him a small loving smile that he still called her mother. "Your guide, than young woman I met, I heard Thor mentioning that she is safe," she said and saw that this information clearly calmed him.
Loki closed his eyes in relief and heaved a sigh. That was all he wanted to hear. That his Emma was safe.
Frigga watched him a small moment giving him some time to take in his situation. It had been a while since she had seen him so casual and ungroomed as he was now, wearing only a green long-sleeve under tunic (and black pajama-style pants which she didn't see from under the quilt) and his black hair tousled against the golden silky pillow.
"We were so worried for you, Loki. We almost lost you. Thor brought you back to us in the nick of time. Your father used his powers to heal you."
"My father…?" Loki snorted tiredly in disapproval, but was not in the mood for sarcasm and had no strength enough to make a big deal about her choice of words. Why would have Odin saved him? Maybe Allfather couldn't bear the thought of letting him slip away without being punished for his crimes.
Frigga poured him a goblet of iced water and aided him to take a few small sips. Loki welcomed the cool drink that bought him a bit more time to postpone the difficult conversation that was bound to follow. He could understand now why he had always enjoyed the cold drinks Frigga had kept available for him, thus subtly nurturing the Jotun in him.
As Frigga watched him drink, she could still see it in her mind; Thor carrying his wounded brother in his arms across the halls of the palace where she met them. When the Bifrost brought her sons home, Odin and Heimdall had been there ready and waiting. Odin told that their younger son had been nearly dead having his birth appearance. That's why Odin used his powers to heal the boy himself. When Frigga first saw Loki, carried by Thor, he had still been so terribly cold and unconscious. She stayed by his bedside for two days, watching over him, guarding his sleep, refusing to leave until he would awake.
Loki gulped down the last sip of water with an appreciating groan and lay back on the pillow. "Thank you," he murmured and met then Frigga's gaze again, looking sorry like a little boy who knew he had broken his mother's heart. Hesitating he clasped her hand in his. "I am sorry, Mother," he whispered at first. "I am so sorry. I could not bear myself to say it when you came to see me in Midgard but I say it now. I am sorry for everything I have done… those dreadful things… I cannot take any of them back." His eyes were getting moist and his fingers squeezed her hand. "I can never expect you to forgive me…"
Gently Frigga hushed him down and blessed him with a merciful smile that only a mother could give to her child. "It is true that this time, Loki, your actions went far beyond my understanding. You are no longer that boy I once knew," she said and Loki lowered his eyes, repentance furrowing his forehead. She touched his cheek and lifted his chin, looking straight into his eyes. "However, it shows great wisdom and courage to admit your faults and take responsibility of your actions. Saying sorry is a fine start. Thor told me that you sacrificed yourself to save two mortal lives to correct your error. It made me very sad but yet proud of you and I am looking forward to learn more about the man you are becoming. Welcome back home, my son."
Loki didn't know what to say, he just stared at her, knowing that he had a heavy burden to carry with –what she had said about taking responsibility of his actions – making things right if that was even possible.
The massive doors to his bed chamber swung open as Thor entered the room hastily. "Mother, has he yet…?" Thor begun in a quiet voice as he strode closer to the bed but fell silent as he noticed his brother already awake. A wide smile spread over his face. "Loki!" he exclaimed laughing and grabbed his younger brother into a bearish hug, ignoring the weak resistance.
"Thor, stop! You are killing me!"
"You deserve a few bruises for giving us such a fright," Thor jested letting him go and slowly sat on a seat next to his bed, at first picking up a book from the seat.
Loki glanced at the book Thor placed on his lap, recognizing it as one of his own. One of his favorites. "Is that my book of Valkyries? Have you been reading?"
"You were in slumber for two days. I was getting bored to watch you sleep. Now, don't you dare to spoil the ending for me," Thor said giving a lopsided grin and Loki rolled his eyes with a smirk. Even without reading the book everyone knew that the Valkyries had died in a glorious battle.
Then Thor looked more serious as he asked "How are you feeling?"
Loki's smirk turned into a joyless smile. "I feel like I would have gone through another collapsing wormhole."
Even he meant it as a poor joke, neither of the brothers found it amusing at the time. His eyes grew wider with a pleading look, wanting to ask something he suddenly felt too awkward to ask in front of his mother.
Pleased and with a loving smile Frigga watched her sons who seemed to be getting along once more after their terrible fight that had broken her heart. "I leave you to talk," she said in understanding and touched Loki's shoulder before getting up. "Rest now, Loki. You need to gather your strength. I will be right back and bring you something to eat."
Loki followed her go with his gaze and turned at Thor. "How is Emma? Tell me, did she…?"
"She is fine," Thor reassured and pulled his seat closer to Loki's bed. "I just spoke with Heimdall. He told me that he saw her and her father flying away from that place after we left Earth. Emma kept her promise and took Jane back to Pittsburgh."
"But it is not over yet. SHIELD will be looking for her."
"Logan's friends helped them into exile. Apparently they fled into another country. They are safe."
"For now." Loki groaned, slowly propping himself up on one elbow. "Thank you for bringing me here, Thor. I know I would have died without you…"
Thor sat on the edge of his seat leaning closer. "Listen, Loki…"
Loki pushed himself up into a sitting position and threw off the green quilt. "Now, help me out of here. I must return to Earth."
"Loki…" Thor objected and rose up to his feet as Loki was getting out of the bed with difficulty.
"I must return to her!"
The thunder god placed his hands on his brother's shoulders supporting him. "Brother, you cannot!" he said in a sorry tone, holding Loki's gaze that turned cautiously confused. "Father has forbidden you to leave Asgard. In fact, he has forbidden you to leave your quarters. He has placed guards behind your doors. When you are fully recovered, he will grant you a hearing…"
Fear and disbelief reflected from Loki's eyes. He couldn't tell why he was so shocked by this information. Maybe in some level he had hoped Odin showing him pity after everything that had happened, but he knew more than well that Allfather knew no pity.
Just barely keeping on his own feet, he let out a sad snort, a painful grin visiting on his lips. "So, this is how much Odin believes in me? I am his prisoner now. He wanted me to find my way under his ax, huh?"
"No!"
"All those things you told me…" Loki stopped, his lips parted as it occurred to him. "You lied to me, brother? I am impressed."
"No, I did not lie. Everything I said to you is true."
"Then is it too much to hope that you would help me back to Midgard?"
"I want to help you, Loki. But first you must straighten thing out with Father. You cannot simply slip away again. We will get through this, together, just like I promised. I will speak with him..."
"Save your breath!" Loki jerked himself free from Thor's hold and slumped back sitting on his bed, looking miserable. "We are done! Don't you have a feast to attend to?"
Thor looked sad but understanding. "There won't be feasts without you, brother."
"Cannot you see there is nothing left for me here?"
"That is not true and you well know it. We are your family. Let us help you."
Loki lifted his tired and sorrowful gaze up at his brother as though Thor had been once again mocking him. "I am a Frost Giant, Thor! Your brother is a Jotun."
Thor stared at him compassionately. "I know."
"Did you know I was an outcast even among my own kind? And after everything I have done, do you expect me to survive here when everybody knows my true origin? If Odin does not kill me than all I have to do is to step outside…"
"No one else knows, Loki. We have kept your secret."
"If you won't help me, then for mercy's sake slay me now!" Loki rasped out in a low, harsh voice with a hope of covering his tears. His gaze dropped finding nothing to focus on. He tried to hold it back, his hands clenching into fists around the sheets. His lips trembled with the thought of it. "I gave her my word…" he faltered, his shoulders sinking, his eyes betraying him.
Unlike to him, the burst of sobs got the better of him and Thor sat next to him on the bed and held him in a brotherly hug.
Thor had carried his wounded brother home and there was a lot more carrying to do. He was not going to let Loki down anymore.
… …
"She's dragging you over the floors, sir," Coulson murmured questioningly, narrating what he saw from a screen of a SHIELD table that showed him a security camera footage from the Nevada base. On the video, someone looking like Natasha Romanoff was dragging unconscious Fury over the floor of a long hallway.
Fury glowered at him across a table for clinging into petty matters. "Tell that to anyone and you can start looking for a new job, Coulson." He glanced down at the screen and smirked with a slightly sore cheek covered with bruises. He looked like he had had a rough day, a few in a row actually, having small scratches all over his face and an arm in a splint. "Now, this is what I wanted to show you."
On the video the redhead agent turned back to Emma Morgan and she fired her gun at the Asgardians and then gave the trickster god an angry slap, seemingly demanding answers.
Fury broke into low chuckles, rubbing his jaw. "Ah, I never get tired of watching this clip," he smirked and looked at Coulson, putting on his sunglasses. "We almost had her there. I told her that Loki killed you. She seemed genuinely shocked to hear that. I'm telling you, she went after the Asgardians with a vengeance. And if she would have kept that mindset we would still have the Tesseract and the Dark Energy Mission facilities would be intact."
"Yeah, maybe," Coulson pondered, placing the tablet on the table.
The security cam footage ended with the agents' gun firing damaging the camera. The last thing he had seen was Loki either attacking Ms Morgan or protecting her. Coulson guessed he had been trying to protect her from the gunshots.
Somewhere deep down he felt sorry for her, for all the pain she had already gone through, for facing one lost after another. Fury had been trying to take advantage of her vulnerability which hadn't work out as planned. That much he could have predicted.
Coulson hid his eyes behind black shades and gazed at the sparkling turquoise ocean across the white paradise beach with palm trees. They were sitting outside an ocean-view café under a parasol in Aruba. He could almost hear the waves caressing the shore.
Fury had come to see him and keeping him informed with the latest news concerning the Asgardians and Emma Morgan and their hush-hush investigation about the Hydra infiltration. Fury had also mentioned that if they were any lucky, Loki wouldn't ever come bothering them again, that much severe damaged Ironman had inflicted to the Trickster. Tony Stark himself was out of the game for some time, his newest suit completely damaged, his leg injured by three eight-inch-long icicles and his defeat leaving him with some new confidence issues. To Coulson it was beginning to felt absurd, but in some level Fury seemed to believe that all the unpleasantries could have been avoided if Emma Morgan would have jointed them.
Coulson turned back at Fury, taking a sip from his ice latte. He hadn't yet adjusted to the heat and the hot drinks were out of the question. "I did try to tell you that your normal approach wouldn't work with her. Why didn't you send Steve Rogers talking to her in the first place like I asked?"
"According to Rogers, they did have a little chat. She didn't believe him and stole his shield, calling him a fake."
Coulson smiled. He couldn't help it. He could see it in his mind's eyes, that old photograph from Emma Morgan's childhood entering his mind again. "And?"
Fury didn't look so happy. "And, after Thor took his brother home, Rogers caught up with Morgan and her dad who were about to leave. He could have arrested the mutants but decided to let them go. Why? It turned out that Rogers and Logan were old war buddies from World War II. They served a while in the same unit. Apparently he knows more about Logan's history but wasn't willing to share it because your girl Morgan got him to believe that we are the bad guys here. Thanks to her, Rogers thinks now that we are Hydra." Fury leaned back in his seat and spread his hands in disbelief. "This is fucking unbelievable!" he groaned and grabbed his orange juice, wishing it would have been something stronger. "The World Security Council wants heads to roll. Probably mine, so I'm going to need someone I can trust to take over."
Fury's significant glance made Coulson setting his ice latte aside. "Sir, you're not suggesting…?"
"Yeah, I am. You're the only one I trust. And once Morgan is found I want you to recommence the project TAHITI. We gave her a fair chance and she blew it. She heals. She adapts. So, one way or the other she's going to serve a purpose for SHIELD…"
Coulson looked troubled, not liking what Fury was suggesting. His new personal mobile phone signaled a call with a quiet peep and he picked it up from his pocket. The caller was 'Aileen L.' and he forced his delighted smile back into a grimace for Fury's sake. "Er… I am sorry, sir. I should probably take this," he said hesitatingly.
Fury shrugged as if there wasn't anything important they were talking about. "Go ahead."
Awkwardly Coulson moved further away on the terrace and leaned on a railing. He took a breath, pushing aside everything unsettling he had been talking about with Fury. "Aileen, hi. Is everything all right?" he answered, happy for hearing from her again.
Aileen Lange's voice was warm as she spoke. "Hello, Phil. Yeah, everything's fine as far as... well, you know. I wanted to thank you for that night. I've been thinking about you and everything you said."
Coulson smiled fondly. "No, thank you. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to say it under these circumstances but I really enjoyed the time we spent together. You made it safely back home?"
"Yes. Just one night away from home and I missed my girls so much. Are there any news about Emily yet?"
"Sorry, no. We still keep looking," Coulson said and glanced at Fury over his shoulder. "Can I call you a bit later? I'm in a middle of something… my boss…"
"Oh, of course. Sorry. It is just that…" She heaved a sigh. "When I say it out loud it sounds stupid but I've had this awful feeling that things are not right with Emily. I can't explain it. And then I got this anonymous phone call yesterday. Ah… maybe it was nothing… just a wrong number. We could talk about it later."
He straightened his back. "No, no. Go on."
"Well, someone called me late last night. When I answered no one said a word. It was hung up after a few seconds of silence. It got my hopes up that maybe it was her… and then I was starting to think that what if it was those people who took her… They wouldn't have any reason to go after my other daughters, do they?"
Coulson frowned, thinking about the same possibilities. "Are you still home?"
"No, I took the girls and we left the house last night. We are staying with some of my friends."
"You did the right thing. You know, you could have called me last night. Listen, Aileen. I'm sure everything is fine, but let me make a few check ups first before you return home. I see what I can do and I will get back to you as soon as I can, all right?"
"Thank you, Phil. You're a treasure."
As Coulson ended his call and returned to Fury, the big boss gave him a studying grin. "Well, well. You've been busy. Are we having a small holiday romance there, Phil?"
Coulson sat back at the table, looking uneasy, considering how much he could tell to Fury. "Sir, I'm going to need to ask you a grand favor."
Fury gulped the rest of his juice and put down his empty glass. "Funny, that's what I am asking you too. So, who's the lucky lady?"
"Er…" Coulson removed his shades and stared down at his mobile. "Strictly off the record, sir. That was Emma Morgan's mother."
With a curiously surprised expression Fury leaned closer over the table, a smirk growing on his face. "Phil Coulson, you motherfuc…"
… …
The water around her was crystal clear and reflected perfectly the light blue hue of the sky above, matching the color of her sorrowful eyes. Immersed deep into her thoughts, Emma sat on a wooden lake dock, staring at the water that had become still again. She tossed another small pebble in the lake only to break that haunting serenity of the water surface, watching at the tiny waves moving in circles further and further away.
Her hand went for another stone only to find out that she had run out of pebbles and she groaned in frustration like it would have been a way more severe matter. It was the uncertainty of Loki's fate that was killing her. And it felt more painful than the single icy claw she thrust out and snapped off between the wooden planks and threw then in the water to create more small waves. That piece of ice sunk like a rock on the bottom which confirmed her believes that it wasn't just plain ice. And she watched as a new claw grew back.
The majestic mountain-view lakeshore surrounded by evergreen forest gave no pleasure to her in her given-up state of mind. The beautiful sight all around her that would have taken her breath away in some other time was nothing impressive now. She had a privilege to sit on a quiet private beach, not in sunny Caribbean, not in Riviera, but somewhere in the western part of British Columbia in Canada. She wasn't sure where and she didn't care. Charles Xavier knew a guy who knew a guy whose family owned a modern mountain cabin house near the village of Whistler, about 20 miles away from the center, still distant enough from the main tourist settlement. A perfect hideout with nothing SHEILD could have traced back on the mutants. Storm had brought Logan and Emma there and the house was at their disposal for free over the winter. A rare offer since the village near was a well known winter sports attraction. The owners were pleased that someone was watching over their house.
Logan walked down the stony steps to the shore from the cabin house and found his kid sitting on the dock, just where he had left her over an hour ago. "Come on. Dinner is ready. I cooked the fishes."
Emma only glanced at him and pulled her claw back in. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."
Logan moved to her on the dock, his boots clacking on the wooden boards. "Hey, it's not that bad. I bet it's better than that canned meat we ate yesterday."
He appreciated the peace, quiet and the pure nature around them, feeling like he fitted there perfectly. He was home. He was back in Canada. He had thought that maybe this retreat could have done some good for both of them, giving them some time to get to know each other. But in two days they hadn't done much talking, actually he had been the one talking and he wasn't so good in that. She had asked him about that name the soldier boy had called him with. She had asked him if he had known a man called Corporal Morrison, her grandfather, back in those times. She had asked had he really known Steve Rogers. Unfortunately he hadn't been able to give her answers because he didn't know either.
Low croaks of a raven carried over the water from a lakeshore near by. The big black bird sat on a thick branch of a pine, its sharp eyes observing its surroundings and the humans on the dock.
"A raven. A big one," Logan confirmed what he saw.
Emma looked at the black bird. "It's been sitting there on the tree, staring at me and probably waiting me to drop dead. When I first saw it I thought it was… Loki," she said, disappointed mostly in herself. "Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but he can transform himself into an animal."
Logan gazed down at her compassionately and sat next to her on the dock, knowing damn well it was bitchin' heartbreak she was suffering. "Ems, come on. You've got to eat. You've got to do something. Anything. I was thinking, tomorrow we could go hiking…"
"Hiking?" she snorted.
"You can't just sit around doing nothing and waiting for the guy to show up. This angsty shit won't bring him back, you know."
As if she didn't know that! Emma took a deep breath, just wanting to shout at him to shut the fuck up. "Okay," she murmured, calming herself down, counting on five. She looked him in the eyes before she spoke. "You want me to do something? Okay. I want what you've got. That steel in your body, I want the same."
Logan gave her a long studying scowl. "No you don't. Don't ever say that."
"Why not? I can take pain."
He didn't answer. He didn't want to answer. He stared across the lake on the opposite shore where the white-top mountains rose behind the green forest. "Not like this. I …" he begun hesitantly. It wasn't his favorite topic. "I guess it was a part of an experiment. Can't really remember why or how I ended up getting it in me but I still see nightmares about it. Wake up screaming. Imagine yourself getting injected with liquid hot metal all over your skeleton. It feels like you're burning alive from inside to outside. And once it's done, if you even survive, it can't be undone." He clenched his jaw. "There's no way in hell I'll let anyone do that to you."
Emma was quiet, realizing she wasn't the only one who had gone through terrible experiments. She could hear the pain in his voice and she stared a while at the distant shore with him in silence, listening only the gentle whispers of the wind in the branches of the tall spruces.
"At least teach me how to fight," she said finally.
Logan frowned a bit. "I think you sure hell know how to fight."
"No, I meant for real. When ever I've fought I've lost control of myself. It is not me and I don't like that. I want to learn to fight in the way that I'm in control, not the beast."
"Not a good idea."
"Logan, we are the same. You gave this to me, so you better teach me to learn to live with it. SHIELD will come after me one day, I know it, and I want to be ready."
"Fighting is not the only way to handle every situation, that's why I try to avoid it. The problem is that the fight always finds me. I'm quick temperate. There's an animal in me and when it gets in rage, it can't be controlled. Believe me, I've tried."
"Then try again harder and teach me to do the same."
"I don't even know how. Do I look like a damn Zen-master to you?"
"Yeah, straight out of the monastery of Nepal. Orange sheets and a bald head would suit you perfectly."
Logan turned at her and she looked back at him and they both smiled a bit. He smirked and put his arm around her shoulders, checking was it all right with her. It occurred to him that training would do her good and take her mind off the Prettyboy for a while. "Fine. We'll start tomorrow and hope we won't kill each other. Now, we'll eat before the food gets cold. I don't think Loki would want you to starve yourself to dead."
As if agreeing with that, the raven let out a raspy croak and took off from the tree. They watched as it flew closer the lake surface while getting speed and then disappeared high on the sky beyond the forest.
"In the freak school everyone had their own mutant name. So why Wolverine? What does it mean?" she asked as they walked back to the house.
"Don't know. The name was in my dog tag I was carrying. Maybe that's the way I am."
"Small, stinky and ugly?"
"Shut up, Icicles!"
"That's my name now, huh?"
"You figure out your own name."
Emma smiled a bit. She already had a name but it was kind of special. Only Loki had a right to call her that. Valkyrie.
… …
The glorious golden citadel of Asgard bathed in the warm glow of the evening, the colors of the reddening horizon reminding Loki of the Midgardian sunsets he'd shared with Emma. Sitting idly on the balcony of his chambers, he stared at the distance, wishing he could have at least reached a connection with her mind and visit her with a projection. However that possibility had been taken away from him just like everything else he had taken for granted once. His magic was bound by Odin, his freedom only an illusion and his title as a prince of Asgard hardly existed anymore.
He wore his black leathers; trousers and a long vest and his favorite green tunic, but he hadn't bothered to polish his looks, his raven hair hanging down in its natural state.
Frigga and Thor hadn't granted him a moment of peace as though they feared he would throw himself off from the balcony or try to cut himself with a fruit knife. Pathetic! He had no wish to end his life even his future didn't seem any bright. Only thing that was truly killing him was the endless distance between him and Emma. His health and strength was restored but she didn't know that. Had he doomed her to wait for him for eternity in uncertainty, to keep hiding from SHIELD for the rest of her life? Had he destroyed her whole world by loving her for what felt now only a heartbeat? His eyes were filling as he lingered in these thoughts.
Frigga stood in the doorway to the balcony and leaned against a column, keeping watch over her troubled son and giving him some space he clearly yearned for. She let him know that she was there if he wanted to talk or just a hug. Though, she feared she wasn't able to help with what troubled him so.
She turned as she heard Odin entering Loki's chamber, recognizing her husband's steps. She went to him, pleased that he was there. And she took his hand as if telling him to go easy on their son.
Odin squeezed Frigga's hand and watched at his son, his words coming out in a silent tone of voice. "How is he?"
Frigga smiled sadly. "He is suffering. Repenting. I think he finally feels the gravity of his foul actions and it pains him. But if you would question him he never admits it. He is stubborn, just like you. Do not be too harsh on him. Not now."
They moved on the balcony together arm in arm. As Loki sensed Odin's presence he turned and stood up. His sorrowful face took a mask of defiance with a poor attempt to hide his worry. He hadn't expected to face Odin just yet who looked like a harsh father who had come spanking his son as a punishment for his chronically mischievous actions. In silence Loki stared at him as if he had been that small boy once more who knew what was coming for him.
"I will speak with our son alone," Odin said to his wife, releasing her from his arm.
"I trust you both will handle this in civilized manner," Frigga hesitated before she left them.
While giving a greeting glance to his son, the old king stepped next to Loki and watched at the beautiful horizon, they both remaining in equal silence as long as Frigga had left. "How was Midgard?" Odin asked then conversationally.
Loki stood by his side, gathering his spirits or what was left of it. Colder and more hostile than he had recalled, he though, staring at the same direction with Odin. "All the virtues of humanity became clear to me on my visit there. I am a changed man now," he said sardonically. "Is this what you wanted to hear me to say, Allfather?"
"Hm," Odin murmured at his son's depreciation towards him. "Only if it is true."
They both still stared ahead and not at each other like there would have been something more interesting to see than each others faces.
Loki placed his both hands on the railing, gritting his teeth, refusing to show any sign of weakness in front of the man who had doomed him. "Well, I am sure there is a lot more left to learn from the mortals. Why would you not exile me back there?" he suggested nonchalantly.
"The rest of your lessons you must learn here. Did nothing I teach you held any value to you? We are in war with Jotunheim now. What Thor started you nearly finished with your recklessness."
Loki turned to look at the old king's side profile. "Do the monsters still live?"
There were anger and yet vulnerability in Loki's voice that made Odin glance at his son. "As a prince of Asgard and the rightful king of Jotunheim you should show more concern towards your own people."
Loki looked shocked. "King?" he whispered, unsure of Odin's intentions. "You would make me the king of Jotunheim now?"
"You not desired a throne, Loki?" Odin retorted and heaved a long sigh. "Even with your childish mischievousness you always showed great intelligence and perception. Your thirst for knowledge knew no limit. There was a time I wished Thor too would have had your wits and skills of diplomacy. Sadly you let it all be clouded by envy when you could have been so much more than just the god of mischief. And here we are now," he said and turned at his son, Loki staring back at him in uncertain silence.
"And whose fault is that?" Loki asked in a quiet, husky voice. But really, in those few lines, his father gave him more appreciation and praising than he had ever gotten in his whole life from Odin. He had always been envious of Thor without realizing that their father had secretly wished Thor possessing more of Loki's qualities.
"You are free to hate me, Loki. But you will always be my son and I love you as my own. I guided you to Earth with a hope you would find your own path. Maybe you have. Thor told me what you did. You gave up your selfish ambitions to save two mortals. You stood with your brother and returned the Tesseract at the cost of your life. Asgard and all the Nine Realms owe you a debt of gratitude. However, as a king I must punish you for the crimes you committed while sitting on the throne and the lives you took on Earth. I shall spare you from the dungeon if you will show repentance in the official hearing and accept the terms of your sentence. You are not to leave Asgard. You are not to contact anyone outside the palace. You are held in your quarters, guarded day and night. And your magic will be bound, for now."
Emotions stormed in Loki's mind after Odin's words and he had to make an effort to gather himself. The one thing that stung him the most was that Odin still claimed to love him and yet he would take away something he hadn't even given him; his magic. That he had gotten from Frigga.
Loki sucked in a breath and composed himself. "How long would this punishment last?"
"That would be entirely up to you. When I see it fit and the time is right, you will repair the damage you have done. And then you will regain your full rights as a prince of Asgard once more… and your freedom little by little. Violate any of the terms and we will not be having this conversation all over again. I will give you time to consider your answer until the hearing."
Loki dropped his gaze down. He had a lot digesting to do. He wasn't completely doomed as he had assumed. By accepting Odin's terms, maybe something good would come out of it eventually. Maybe he would have a chance to return to her one day. For her, he would be ready to make things right. A cautious smile lighted his eyes as he cast his gaze far at the end of the broken Rainbow Bridge. By the time it was fixed he would find his way back to her.
The croaks of a raven and sound of large wings whooshing in the air drew near and Odin spread his arm for his loyal bird sat on his arm. He listened what the creature had to tell him. Then he let it fly back on the sky, keeping watch over the Nine Realms and being his eyes.
Odin turned back to Loki, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder with a bit more softer expression that could have been interpreted as a smile, which was strange since he hardly ever smiled. "Sometimes," he begun in a pondering tone, looking Loki in the eye, "it takes love of a good woman to forge one into a better man."
Loki stared at him like the old king would have gone mad. "What?"
"Ask Frigga. She knows what I mean," Odin said in a compassionate voice and turned to walk away but remain where he stood. "She is brave. This mortal of yours. And possibly quite mad for thinking the world of you." In the corner of his eye he saw the most genuine surprise reflecting from his son's face. "Do not worry. Thor asked Heimdall to keep watching over her. She will be safe even I do not fully approve this arrangement."
Loki swallowed a sudden rush of emotions, realizing Odin was talking about Emma, pondering how he knew. "Thank you," he whispered, not sure if Odin heard it as Allfather was already walking away. But he did mean it.
"It is good to have you back, my son."
Loki followed Odin go with his gaze and leaned against the stony railing. He lifted his gaze up and let out a small confused chuckle, tears in his eyes for being so astounded. This was not what he had expected to receive when coming home. Odin had welcomed him back. If only Emma would have been there to share it with him, everything would have been perfect. There was hope after all.
The doors had hardly closed after Odin when Thor already strode in, dressed more casually, carrying a small barrel of mead under his arm and two tankards in the other hand. He was followed by a male servant who carried a large tray of sliced meats, cheeses, bread, fruits and treats.
Loki left the balcony and walked back in to his chambers pondering had they installed a revolving door in his quarters since he was given no privacy at all. He shrugged annoyed to Thor. "What– what is this?"
The servant bowed and set the tray on the table and left after Thor's thanks.
Thor smiled widely and placed his offerings on the same table, checking out the food tray. "You did not expect me to let you sulk here alone, did you?"
"Yes!" Loki declared simply, feeling humiliated enough of crying in front of his brother earlier, which Thor, to his surprise, had handled quite diplomatically.
"Well, too bad. Sif and Warrior Three told me to celebrate for returning the Tesseract."
Loki glanced around him, crossing his arms. "Then why are you not with them?"
"I said that if I pour myself some mead I will pour it to my brother too," Thor stated and tossed a grape into his mouth. "And since you are grounded…"
Loki walked closer, his hands rising and his forehead furrowing, displeased. "Oh please, tell me they are not coming here!"
Thor filled the tankards from the barrel tap. "No. This is a private party," he smirked and handed Loki one of the large cups and filled the other. "And as I recall, you said in Midgard that we should discuss more about matters and stuff (as the Midgardians say) over a tankard of mead. Now, I want to see you emptying that one. And then I will pour you another," he grinned, watching his brother over his full cup.
A part of the Trickster was truly touched by his brother's concern of him. And they looked at each other, feeling like something had changed between them since the last time they were home. A lot had changed actually.
Loki held his cup with both hands, smelling the slightly sweetish, yeasty scent of the mead. He had never liked it. Then he noticed something else in his cup. "There are lumps of ice in my drink."
"Yes, I thought that that's the way you would like it. I learned it from Tony. Mead on the rocks."
"Are there rocks in my mead too?"
"No! It is just a figure of speech. Rocks mean ice cubes."
"Ah, you would start teasing me of being a Frost Giant now?"
"Never. I sincerely believed that you would like it colder. We can change. Here, have mine."
"No. Thank you, I appreciate your thought," Loki smiled, his green eyes sparkling with approval. However his dark brows arched a bit sadly. "But… would it not be unwise to be in my company now, brother?"
Thor placed his hand on Loki's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Who says I am wise? We have every reason for a bit of fun. You are alive. We are home. And I am sure everything will work out for the best. I am proud I can call you my brother. Here's to you, Loki. Skol!"
Loki's hesitation turned into a grateful boyish grin and he lifted his cup for a toast, their tankards coming together. He felt like he had every reason to be alive again. "And to Midgardian women."
Thor smiled. "To Midgardian women."
… …
The dinner was finished and Emma and Logan sat at the massive-wood table outside the cabin on the cozy veranda with a view to the lake. The evening was getting colder and they had made a fire on an outdoor fireplace on the corner of the patio. It shed some light and warmth into the slowly darkening evening.
The stone-hard marshmallows she had found, left by the owners of the cabin probably three years ago, were slowly melting in her hot chocolate and she kept poking them with a spoon as if she had been drowning the bastards.
Logan leaned lazily against the wall, his long legs along on the bench he was sitting on, his left hand caressing the nearly empty whiskey glass. The other end of his big fat cigar was glowing as he sucked in the smoke, enjoying the self-discovered compliments of the house.
"You shouldn't inhale it, you know?" Emma remarked after watching his smoking a while across the table.
Logan met her gaze, blowing the smoke out through his nose like a tired dragon. "How do you know? Have you tried it?"
"No. But I know it's bad for your health."
"Yeah? So is dating an alien," he retorted and gulped his last Jack Daniel's and poured a refill.
"Great. Thanks," Emma murmured, upset again, and lifted her steaming cup on her lips.
"Shit! Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he apologized and turned to facing her. He put his cigar on the ashtray, letting it die down. Unintentionally they were back in the subject. "So… Did you know he's blue?"
She swallowed down her mouth-full of cocoa and nodded. "Yeah. He was like that when I first met him. You've got something against blue-skin people?"
Logan smirked dryly. "Only if they're shape shifters. And I don't mean him. I'll explain sometimes. I heard Charles gave you your mother's phone number and asked you to call her. If you wanna make that call I'll take you again to the village tomorrow…"
"No." She dropped her gaze on her cup. Those marshmallows were some tough little suckers. "We should stay out of the village for a while. When you were doing the shopping last evening, I borrowed one yuppies phone."
"Borrowed?"
"He was drunk as a skunk, he never noticed. I dialed the number. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted to hear her voice. Charles said she had been looking for me all this time. I wasn't so sure about that. When she answered…" Emma felt her eyes filling. "When she answered, she sounded exactly the same I remembered. I couldn't say a word. I just froze and hang up. Oh god. I shouldn't have called her. It was a stupid thing to do."
"It was not."
"Yeah, it was. I've hated my mom for eight years. That hate has kept me going, not looking back in the past." She sniffed her tears and forced herself to stay strong. "She has a new life and kids. And I have already wrecked my life. And yours. I don't want to destroy hers too. SHIELD knew about her, they might be tapping her phone. And I don't have any friends in that place since Coulson is gone. So, that's that."
Logan studied her pondering. His thumb rubbed the side of the cold whiskey glass in his grasp. He felt almost sophisticated drinking from a glass instead of straight from the bottle. "You have not wrecked my life, kid. I'm perfectly good doing that by myself. Who knows, maybe something good will come out of this. I would have never met you without Loki, right?"
Emma gave that a thought. "Maybe."
He took a gulp of his whiskey with a low appreciating murmur, promising himself that he would find a way to reunite her and her mother someway one day. "Well, you know what they say. If life gives you lemons…"
Emma rolled her eyes. "Please! That's the lamest thing ever!"
"You squeeze the shit out of them," he finished his life's wisdom, a small compassionate smile rising on his lips.
Emma cracked into a grin, shaking her head. That was actually the best version she had ever heard. She took a sip from her cup. "If life gives you lemons you squeeze them on Tony Stark's wounds."
"Hurry up and grab salt and tequila."
Emma smirked. "Hmm, that could work too." On the wounds. "You stick pins and needles in them and shove up in people's asses."
"Hey, that's sick. What's the matter with you?" Logan scolded supposedly seriously but then he broke into chuckles with her, pondering how come he hadn't thought of that first. "Remind me to never piss you off."
They both finally laughed.
"Thanks, Logan."
He shuddered with cold as the whiskey and his old jacket failed to keep him warm. "It's getting a bit chilly out here. Let's go in the house. It's your turn to do the dishes by the way," he said while getting up.
"I'll be there in a minute… I'll just need a moment alone."
"Sure."
When Logan went in, she finished her cup of hot chocolate in silence. Then she made her way on the lakeshore in the darkening evening, breathing in the cool mountain air and lifting her gaze up on the murky sky as if she'd been waiting for the stars to come into sight. Yeah, she was waiting but not for the stars. Tears ran down her cheeks with the memory of her last moments with Loki. Had he made it back home? Was he safe? Was he even alive?
She needed answers so badly that she did the only thing she could think of and shouted into the night.
"Heimdall!"
Before they had departed Jane Foster had told her something only a handful of mortals knew; there was an all-seeing Asgardian out there somewhere watching down on the Nine Realms, seeing everything, hearing everything. It was first-hand information since it had been Thor who had told this to Jane.
No matter how insane the idea felt, she had nothing to loose. She stared up at the sky, her lips trembling. "Heimdall, if you can hear me, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you must be very busy watching over the Nine Realms and all, but I need to know… Loki and Thor went back to Asgard. Did they make it back home?"
She smiled sadly like she would have had someone to talk to. "Yeah, I guess he's not the most likeable person there right now but Loki is changed. He's done good things here. Please. I need to know is he all right," she whispered desperately, feeling like an idiot for talking to the sky above, unsure was anyone even listening. But it was more of a prayer anyway. "Please… if it's in your powers, then please I beg you. Send me a sign if he's alive. Is he coming back? That's all I want to know… I love him."
She kept watching at the dark sky with a childish hope to find a shooting star or any answer to her prayer. The nature was quiet around her and the endless universe remained silent like looking down at her pitying.
She closed her eyes and ran her hands over her head, telling herself that she was a hopeless idiot. Even if there was someone out there hearing her, why would he care? Why would he bother to tell her anything? She was just a mortal who had messed up her life so totally that maybe she deserved to spend the rest of her life in misery.
Squatting down on the shoreline, she scooped cold water on her cupped palms to wash away her tears. The coldness felt so good on her skin and she gazed along the still lake surface, wanting to dive there into the dark cold water and never come back up again. Cold, like his last touch had been on her cheek.
Like a mirror the surface of water reflected the dark sky that suddenly became alive with a green slowly growing glow. Holding her breath, Emma lifted her eyes back up. The Northern Lights had appeared all of a sudden flaring and pulsing brightly in absinth green, emerald green flames, spreading all over the sky and lighting up the whole celestial sphere she saw like the heavenly spectacle had been there only for her. Those were Loki's colors! She gasped. This was the sign!
Her gaze never left the green flames as she pushed herself on her feet and let out small shivering laugh with overwhelming joy. It was like Greenland again, but it was way more beautiful. It felt like he would have been there with her. It felt like home. Her eyes brimmed with tears again and her heart filled with hope, the warm waves of love reaching all the way to her core. He was alive! Her Trickster was safe!
"Thank you," she whispered, being only able to admire the heavenly sight she was blessed with. "Thank you!"
"I'll wait for you, Loki."
Somewhere far far away a god smiled to her.
… …
Author's note: With this chapter I complete the first part of this story that is not over yet, obviously. I'm having a small break now but I'm planning to continue updating in the next year. The next part of the story is already finished in my head, I'll just have to get it out and write it down. Easier said than done. Please, let me know if you're interested in a sequel. I'll either continue updating this one or then update a notification with a link to the next part.
Thank you for sharing this fic with me. It's been quite a journey and I feel very humble and glad that you've spent your time reading this far. It's been really fun messing with the MCU characters and giving my own little twist to them and I hope you have enjoyed as much as I have. I have loved all your reviews and I appreciate you favoriting and following me. Thank you so much, you are marvelous people. Stay safe.
- Aurora
