Disclaimer: I am not Alan Dean Foster, George Lucas, or J.K. Rowling.
Enter Harry and Hedwig, and Ron and Hagrid.
Ron. Great shot, kid. That was one in a million.
As they fly back toward Hogwarts, Harry hears Sirius's voice one more time.
Ghost. Remember. The Magic will be with you. Always.
The Ford Anglia and the last two remaining Firebolts land on Hogwarts.
Harry and Neville get off their brooms, and Ron and Hagrid get out of their car.
Enter Hermione and the rest of the cheering DA.
Hermione. Harry.
Harry hugs Hermione, then Ron.
Ron. [grins] Hey, hey.
Harry. I knew you'd return. I just knew it.
Ron. Well, I wasn't gonna let you get all the credit and take all the reward.
Hermione hugs him.
Hermione. I knew there was more to you than money.
The technicians lower Hedwig from the Firebolt. She is severely battered.
Harry. Oh, no!
Percy. Oh, my! Hedwig. Can you hear me? Say something. [to the engineer] You can repair her, can't you?
Engineer. We'll get to work on her right away.
Percy. You must repair her. [to Harry] Sir. If any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them.
Harry. She'll be all right.
Hermione. We'll see that our best people are working on her. She certainly deserves it.
And to top the day off, a ceremony is held to honor those responsible for today's victory.
Enter Harry, Ron, and Hagrid.
Harry. Will you quit pacing, Ron? There's nothing to be worried about.
Ron. Me and Hagrid ain't too comfortable around all these ceremonies and formal stuff.
Hagrid. Arrughhh.
Harry. Look, they're going to hang a medal around your neck, not stand you up against a wall and shoot you.
Ron. It's still not my line of work.
Harry. You'll survive.
Ron. You're taking it pretty well. That's a real sharp outfit they scrounged up for you.
Harry. Uh, well, the Princess went to all the trouble of arranging the ceremony, so I thought . . .
Ron. Thought you'd make a good impression on her? Smart boy.
Harry. It still seems so strange to have met her. I remember the first time I saw her, just an image from Hedwig's memory banks . . .
Ron. It led you a long, long way, Harry.
Harry. lt did. Everything's so different all of a sudden . . . So many things have changed.
Ron. I'm sorry about Cedric . . . and Sirius, and all the others. They're the ones who deserve the medals.
Harry. They died for something they believed in. What made you come back, Ron?
Ron. Oh, the half-giant here got stubborn about it.
Hagrid. Raauggh.
Harry. Come on, Ron.
Ron. Well, he did give me an argument. Besides, I did some thinking about what you and Sirius and Her Highness said and . . . a few things that have happened to me along the way. So I turned the Anglia around. Maybe it's time I tried a steady job.
Harry. Oh, Ron . . . anyway, I'm glad you did. That Ministry broom had me cold.
Ron. I couldn't quite nail their leader, the one in that prototype fighter . . . he was good. But I got one of his wingmen, and the other collided with him.
Harry. And that knocked him out of the fight?
Ron. Yeah, but I don't think it disabled him. I guess he got clear.
Harry. Whatever happened, it was good enough for me . . .
The throne room doors open.
Enter the honor guard, ncluding Georgios Xenakis.
Xenakis. Sirs. The troops are assembled, and we're ready for the presentation.
Hagrid. Rarrghh.
Ron. Now, what do we have to do, again?
Xenakis. Simply walk the length of the throne room to the dais, where the Princess Hermione will award you your medals.
Harry. You can do it, Ron. You'll see.
Ron. Hope so. Come on, Hagrid.
Hagrid. Arruggh.
Xenakis. This way, gentlemen.
Harry, Ron, and Hagrid are led down the hall, flanked by their honor guard.
On a raised dais stands Princess Hermione Granger. At her side are the droids Percy and Hedwig, General Garrick Ollivander, Commander Williamson, engineer Bowman Wright, Stephen Cornfoot, General Bennett Burgess, Commander Norvel Twonk, Major Ernest Hawkworth, Colonel Mentor Metaxas, historians Sage Bragnam and Major Adalbert Waffling, Commander Heinrich Eberstadt, Poderick Cruickshank, Captain Ya Zhou, and Cerberus Langarm, the latter of whom has recently received his own award as well as a promotion.
Ron. Will you look at all these rebels? We'd better not be last on the dinner line.
Harry. You're supposed to be serious.
Ron. I bet they're tired of staring at each other. [to Hagrid] Hagrid, give them "eyes front."
Hagrid. Rarrgghh.
The massed DA members obey, facing the dais.
Ron. Good discipline, there.
Harry. Ron, behave.
Harry, Ron, and Hagrid stop before Hermione, who places a medal around each of their necks.
Hermione. Welcome, on behalf of Dumbledore's Army.
Ron. Glad we could make it, believe me.
Hermione. [ignores him] General Ollivander, the medals, please. Accept these, the highest decoration the Army can bestow, for your gallantry. Ron Weasley . . .
Hermione places a medal around Ron's neck.
Ron. You still can't come up with any more cash, huh?
Hermione. [through clenched teeth] Ron. If you don't act like a grown-up, I'll strangle you with it. [normal voice] And . . . Harry Potter.
Hermione places a medal around Harry's neck.
Harry. Thank you, Princess Hermione.
Hermione. No, Harry, thank you. From Dumbledore's Army and from Hermione Granger.
Harry. What I did, I did for both, Hermione.
Hermione then places a medal around Hagrid's neck, though she has to strain a bit to accomplish that task.
Enter Percy and Hedwig.
Hedwig. [beeps and whistles]
Harry. Hedwig.
Percy. Yes, Master Harry, he's completely repaired.
Hermione. And now you may tum to your comrades in arms and receive their ovation.
Harry, Ron, and Hagrid turn to the assembled crowd, who cheer and applause.
Hagrid. Raurggh.
Hedwig. [beeps and whistles]
Hermione. How do you like being a hero, Ron?
Ron. Some parts weren't too bad. I don't know. Want to do it again sometime?
Hermione. What do you say, Harry? Shall we?
Harry. It wouldn't surprise me at all.
From this day forth the six of them will become known collectively as the Heroes of Hogwarts.
Exit all.
