{In this chapter it's more in Happy point of view, while he battles what he is feeling and Savannah battles to completely quit and face her past which gets out of control. I don't own Sons of Anarchy only my own character and what you do not recognize. Remember to favorite, follow and review :)}

This wasn't happening, it's not possible. But even so I got up from the table and ran out of the shop. As I got closer to the road I could feel the tears falling from my eyes. "Mama?!"

I chocked She looked lost but the moment I called out to her, her eyes wandered over to mine. She looked so healthy…so bright…she held her hand out to me and I could hear her whisper my childhood name as if she was standing not less than two feet from me when she was still so far away, "My little mouse come home to mama."

She held her arms open to me and I reached out to her. Before I knew it I was within reach of her, I could feel her fingertips. The closer I got to her the brighter she became. But just as I was reaching her arms I felt someone's arms wrap around my waist and rip me back away from her. "No!"I screamed, struggling against whoever held me in the arms.

I felt my body hit the ground. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I looked up to see Jax in front of me breathing hard. He looked back and forth between me and the road before he exclaimed, "What the hell do you think you are doing? How is getting yourself killed going to solve anything?" I shoved him away from me and stood up my back towards him, looking for any sign of my mother.

When I couldn't find her I started to cry harder, he took me away from my mother how dare he. I looked down at the ground and balled my fists. "What have you done! You…you took her away from me…" I mumbled trying not to let the anger get the best of me.

"What?" Jax asked from behind me clearly confused.

When I didn't immediately answer I felt his hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me around. I pushed his hand away, getting ready to freak out on him but I felt myself get dizzy and I lost my balance. Jax grabbed me before I could fall on the ground. "Savannah? Savannah!" Jax was shaking me

But his voice was just getting farther and farther away…

*Happy p.o.v.*

I could hear the roar of Jax's bike accompanied by the prospect in the car. Jax called in a panic about a half an hour ago refusing to tell me anything but to send the prospect to the ice cream shop. I shot the rest of my drink back and pushed myself off the bar stool heading straight to the parking lot. I became more infuriated at what I saw. Jax was walking away from the car with Savannah in his arms and passed out from what I could tell. I marched up to him and before I could demand what had happened to her he cut me off, "Not now man, she hit her head pretty hard and I think she is bleeding where is your medic?"

"Call prez old lady now!" I barked at the new prospect.

Then I turned around and followed Jax to the room he was currently residing in. "What happened out there?"

"I don't know, everything was going fine then she got up and ran into the road calling out for her ma. I thought she was dead?"

"That what we know of yes…"

Then it dawned on me what was happening…Fuck! I grabbed at her sweater starting to unzip it but, Jax grabbed my hand and pushed me away, "What the fuck do you think you're doing Hap?"

"You don't understand, she is withdrawing hard. She is hallucinating and she will until she passes it herself but she is going to get hot fast and it's just going to make it worse. Trust me I know what I'm doing, just go get some cold towels and water bottles from the kitchen. And when Lily gets her bring her straight here." I ignored the look on Jax face and continued to take off her sweater and put it beside me.

I reached forward to push some hair out of her face when I felt something sticky behind her head. I pulled my hand back and could see the bits of blood on my hand. She had hit her head harder than we initially thought. I pulled her head up a little get a better look at the wound. It wasn't too bad but it was definitely the cause of her fainting. I should have been there…I shouldn't have let her get away. What is this? I don't feel like this with any woman besides my ma…but it's different than that. I may have just meet her but there was something about her, right from the start. But, I'm just her babysitter that's my job and once it's done we won't see each other again. "Happy?" I looked behind me to see Lily and Jax standing behind me looking at me curiously.

I looked back at her and laid her head back slowly on the pillow. I cleared my throat and stated "She is hurt more than we thought, she is bleeding from the back of the head."

Lily came and placed her hand on my arm and gently pushed me aside. "Happy I'm going to have to get in here to take care of her, I need space so you and Jax need to go please."

I looked hesitantly at her but, I knew she was right. So with one more look at the girl on the bed I walked out of the room.

About an hour and a half of everyone sitting around waiting to hear what happened to Savannah. Lily walked out and looked around the room and chuckled to herself as a few of us stood up the moment she came out. She flipped her keys out and looked between me and Jax. "She is fine or at least physically. Her episodes won't stop when she wakes up, if what Hap says is actually happening to her she will go through this for at least 24 hours. But I believe she is a strong girl and she will make it through it. Keep me up to date on her condition, if it worsens give me a call and I'll come right back here."

We watched her walk to the door just as she reached the door, she turned around and looked at all of us again with a sad look on her face. "Boys it's going to be one hell of a ride for her. She kept crying out for her mother and she started to shake. So watch her but let her walk through this alone, no matter how bad it gets."

With that she gave us one last nod and walked out the door. I think everyone's eyes were on that room, debating if we really should go in there. I was the first one to make that step. I walked over to her bed with Jax, my face dropping at the sight of her. She was sweating and paler since the last I saw her. I was starting to miss her witty remarks that made me so mad…it was to quite without them. I sighed and sat in the chair that was in the room. I told Clay I would watch her and yet here she was. It has been three hours since Jax brought her in here. We had contacted Clay and Gem decided she was coming up here earlier than expected. Kozik was in and out of the room but, both me and Jax stayed where we were. I was starting to nod off when I heard her groan and I watched her struggle to sit up and she made it up onto her elbows before Jax pushed her back down, "Whoa there darling you need to lay back down." "Where am I? What happened? Why does my head hurt?" she croaked out, slowly putting her hand to her head

"You fell when I pulled you back from getting hit by a car," Jax answered for her,"What were you doing out there?"

I watched her face screw up before she looked uncomfortable and asked "Can you get me some water, my throat hurts."

"Yeah I can but this conversation is not over." He warned her

Once Jax left and closed the door I leaned forward and I watched her jump in the bed startled. Her eyes scanned over me and she exclaimed with a hand to her chest, "Jesus fucking Christ."

I smirked at her and cleared my throat, "How are you feeling."

"Like utter shit, why are you here?"

"Because I have to watch you."

"Well I don't want you watching over me," she put a hand to her head, I could see her getting worked up, "I thought I made that clear this morning."

"You are stuck with me whether you like it or not. Do you need anything else?"

"Nothing you can give me now can you kindly leave me the fuck alone."

I know the last time this happened in my life, anger just came with the withdrawal, but the disrespect she was showing me was getting on my nerves. I was about to open my mouth to say something back when Jax came in, looking between me and Savannah but he just continued to walk towards Savannah and give her the water. He sat at the edge of her bed and the whole room went silent before Jax tried one more time to ask her about what happened, "So you want to tell me what that was all about now."

"…No."

I snorted and spoke up, "You ran into the middle of the road chasing after your mother who last time I checked was not alive anymore, putting your life at risk and you're telling us no?" I tried not to raise my voice but it was hard.

She looked over at me shocked and Jax spoke up trying to take control of the situation, "What I think Happy is trying to say is that you almost got killed today if I wasn't there, we just want to make sure you're okay?"

Her eyes never left mine and I could see how angry she was getting the more we stuck our noses in, "That's my business not yours so when I say no I mean fucking no."

Me and Jax looked at each other and you could tell we were both trying to keep it together. She spoke up again, "Where is my phone? I need to call someone."

"Gone." I replied

Her eyes narrowed into slits, "What the fuck do you mean gone?"

"I mean it's gone, you don't need it you're healing and anyone here that you associate yourself with is not worth the call. So it's gone." I said matter of factly

She got up and started for the door but, Jax got in her way, "You need to rest."

He sounded unsure of himself but he knew this had to happen "No I god damn fucking don't! Let me out of here! You can't keep me here like some prisoner."

I grabbed her arm and tried pulling her back to the bed but, she swung around and shoved me away. I could feel the killer part of me teetering at the edge. But, once more she stood face to face with me and spat, "Who are you to tell me what to do! To you I am a no good fucking junkie that deserves what I get right? That's what you fucking said isn't it? So again why the fuck do you care! Who are you to judge me, you kill people for a living hell your stupid nickname is killer ain't it? I'm not scared of you and I don't want you around me so get out SIR!"

I had enough at this point, she needed to calm down. By this point she was shoving me away at the end of every sentence. Jax grabbed her arms and held her back and nodded his head at the door. I took that as I needed to leave. At this point I think that is the only way she was going to calm down.

It was about 16 hours in since she got back here and Jax finally came out. I was drinking some Jack Daniels but, I watched him walk out of the club doors to go outside. I followed him outside and when I caught him sitting down smoking I walked up to him, "She is fine. I finally got her to calm down and go to sleep…now let's just hope it stays that way." I lit up a smoke but, I didn't say anything. "I have to go…ma is on her way and Clay wants me to meet her half way make sure she gets here okay…think you can watch over her?"

I looked over at him surprised by the question. After the episode in there earlier I didn't think he wanted me in there with her. But, I nodded my head and flicked my smoke. Jax stood up and gave me a one armed hug before he rode off. I walked back into the room and I sat back down in the chair. I was only there for about ten minutes when I could hear her whimper in her sleep. I pulled the chair closer to the bed and I watched her as she tossed in her sleep. She started to shiver and I leaned forward and pulled the blanket over her. I swear even though I barely knew her she would be helpless without someone there. What she did next shocked me, after I had placed the blanket around her, her hand shot out and grabbed onto my wrist. Damn this girl had a good grip on her but, when I looked back at her I realized she did it in her sleep. For the little I knew about the girl I know so far she has had it tough…but, the road ahead was going to be worse.

*End of Happy p.o.v*

It didn't take long for me to drift off into a deep sleep. I was told that Gemma would be on her way to us and Jax was going to meet her. So he suggested I get some sleep and he pre warned me about Happy coming back in so sleep was not only the only option but the best one at that. I couldn't handle another go around with Happy. But, maybe it wouldn't have been as bad as the nightmare that followed. I was in my aunt's house but, it was dead quite. I could hear whimpering coming from the room down the hall…the room my mother occupied when she was alive. I recognized what was happening almost immediately…this was the day my mother died. The day that I let her…the day I wasn't there. I remember I couldn't take her crying out from pain anymore…I couldn't take seeing my mother like that anymore. I was sitting in the same corner I was that day, my hands over my ears…the tears falling onto the floor. I shut my eyes tight hoping the dream would go away but, then I felt like I was dropping. I looked all around me and it was pitch black. I could still hear my mother crying out for me but this time it was more of a whisper, I crawled towards the sound of her voice. "Mama?"

A strangled cry escaped my throat Then her face was right in front of mine, anger and sadness written all over it. "Why didn't you come to me? I've been calling your name for hours? Why weren't you there when I needed you? You abandoned me I never abandoned you!" she screamed at me.

I fell backwards at her words trying to push myself away from her, but with every word she said she got closer and closer. I could feel my heart breaking at my mother's words. "I'm sorry mama but I couldn't take it anymore! Please mama forgive me!"

"Why did you do it baby huh? You should have been there when I needed you and you weren't. Look what you did to me, to this family!"

At her words the black disappeared and instead I was standing in a field, watching as they carried my mother's casket to the hole in the ground. I could see all the family members that were there with tears in their eyes. I didn't want to look anymore and I shut my eyes to block it out again, trying to turn away. "Don't you look away!" my mother yelled in my ears pulling my face back to the sight before me.

As she did this I could see all the judgmental faces of all the family members pointing straight at me. Then they all started to walk towards me, circling me, taunting me. Saying things like how could you? Your own mother? What did you do with your life? Junkie! And so much more. I couldn't take it anymore so I ran. But, the voices wouldn't stop I tripped and fell to my knees. The voices kept getting louder and louder and I brought my knees to my chest crying out for everyone to stop.

When the voices went away I looked up to see that I was sitting in a hallway with Mike. He had my arm in his hand and I realized this was the first time I accepted the high. Mike looked at me seriously and asked, "Are you sure this is what you want? There is no turning back?"

I looked at him and I know I said yes then but, something in me was broken. Not just the pain of my mother it was what I was running from, from the moment she and on. It was the guilt of not coming to my mother's aid when she needed me. I shoved Mike away from me and tore out of the building. Mike was calling me back to him but, I just kept running. I needed to get to my mom, I needed her and she needed me. That was all I could think. I burst through the door and I slowly walked down the hallway to my mother's bedroom. It was dead silent as I reached her door and I feared I was too late. I slowly inched the door open just to peak in. My mother was there lying perfectly still. To still. I walked to the edge of the bed and fresh tears stained my cheeks and I reached out for her hand. It was so cold, I was too late…just like I was to begin with. I slumped into the chair that was beside her bed, never letting go of her hand and I clung to it. I put my head down and started to sob, "I'm sorry mama, I'm so, so sorry that I wasn't hear when you needed me the most. I should've been here. I love you so much and I miss you so much more. Don't be mad please I'm sorry. I need you mama please wake up…."

As my voice trailed off I felt someone run their hand through my hair and when I looked up I saw her sitting there glowing, just like she was earlier today in the road. She cupped my cheek with her hand and stared me straight in the eyes and wide smile on her face. "I'm not mad my beautiful mouse, I love you and I understand why you weren't here. I needed you to see that though."

"Take me with you mama. I don't want you to go away again."

"Oh baby I was never gone, I have watched everything you have done. You don't need me anymore you have someone who cares, he may not show it baby but he does and you will learn to love him just the same. I need you to take care of him and yourself. Show me that you can come back from this life baby show me that you can move past this and onto a better life."

Was she talking about Jax? Or Clay? It surely wasn't Happy but, I nodded my head either way and she pressed her lips to my forehead before she disappeared. I started to call out for my mother…for her to come back. Then someone's hands was roughly shaking me and I opened my eyes startled but to see Happy face not two inches from mine….surely she didn't mean him…but, somewhere deep down I felt that maybe it could be…