{Hey guys. Thank you all for your patience and I hope I didn't lose any of you as readers. Remember to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else that you do not recognize.}

It was the next day and things were tense everywhere. Between everything with Tara, Jax and Wendy and everything that happened yesterday with Opie's family and me, everyone seems to be walking on egg shells. I still had yet to tell the family about why I was taken in, Opie and Donna promised to keep it between us until I decided to tell everyone. I was looking for the right time to tell Gemma, Clay and Jax first, seeing as they were family. It wasn't just that though, my thoughts were consumed with my daughter and Stahls threat. My heart was aching and the need for my old habits started to creep up. I tried to consume myself in work at the shop and preparing for Abels homecoming and so far it had worked.

There was one thing I had begun to notice as I had started to hang around the shop more. I caught Tig going around Opies truck and bike. He and Clay seemed to keep meeting alone, secrets passing between them. I knew that Opie had told them what had happened so, at first it seemed odd. Then I thought that maybe they were making sure that Stahl hadn't tracked him…that was before their private meetings. Something was up and I didn't like the feeling in my gut.

I was helping Gemma in the living room, setting up for Abels homecoming tonight. We hadn't spoken much since we started, being completely focused on the task at hand. I had once more attempted to contact Happy in the morning, I wanted to tell him about Stella before he found out some other way. I didn't want him to freak out, I also wanted him to tell me that I was crazy about thinking that Clay and Tig were up to something behind the clubs back. But, once more my calls went unanswered. In the moments I could spare I kept looking down at my phone and eventually this caught the attention of Gemma. "Haven't heard from him?" she asked

I smiled at her, "I'm sure he is just busy taking care of his mom." I tried to make up an excuse for him

She climbed down from her ladder and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. "Baby, did you tell him what you told us? About the crank?" she asked

"I did."

"And?" She asked with a flick of her wrist

"He brushed it off, told me he believed me but, I felt like he was hiding something. Gemma he promised that he would come back to me but…he won't answer my calls and he thought flowers was going to keep me happy. I'm just so angry, the least he could do is answer my phone calls, even just one." I confided

Gemma let out a sigh and wrapped me in her arms. "I warned you baby that this would be a hard road to walk with him. Don't give up on him and you know if you need to go down there and kick some ass then you show him who he is playing with. You can't let these boys walk all over you and when it comes to men like him sometimes you have to show him how much you really care and at times they need to see what they're about to lose so they will hang onto it even tighter."

I hugged her back but, in this moment it wasn't just Happy I wanted to talk to her about, it was Stella to. This was the moment I had been waiting for. I pulled away from her and had opened my mouth to say something when the door opened behind me. I turned around to see a very upset Wendy standing there, "Where have you been? Here take the other end." Gemma asked

I turned around to face Gemma again but, she had left me and grabbed the welcome home banner and started to hang it up. Not knowing who she was exactly talking to Wendy grabbed the other end and climbed up onto the couch to hang it. I continued to blow up some balloons and sat back on the couch. "I know what you're doing." Wendy stated

I slowed my breathing so I could figure out what was going on, "Hanging a banner?" Gemma smartassed

"With me and Tara." Wendy corrected

I tied a balloon while I looked up to see that they both had moved to the floor. Gemma looked irritated with her hands on her hips while Wendy looked almost nervous to be bringing this up. "And what am I doing?"

"Using me to hurt her and Jax. Asking if I still love him, if I want my family back. That was all about pushing her out of the picture."

Gemma rolled her eyes and walked over to me picking up a streamer and walking back over to the pole in the doorway. "Doesn't change anything, still meant everything I said. What do you care what my motives are? You still get the thing you want most and so do I."

"You know I was okay with you slipping me enough crank to kill a horse because of what I did to Abel, I deserved that. But, I am not the same person I was two months ago, I can't be a part of this. You're playing with people's lives Gemma." Wendy said finally loosing it

I was shocked at what had come out of her mouth. I knew that she didn't like Wendy but, she did that to her? If Gemma was capable of this for Jax, her son, what would Clay do if he found out about me and Happy? He had a lot of pull when it came to Happy, the club was everything to him and he would go wherever the club needed him, even if that meant leaving Charming for good. I started to subconsciously squeeze the balloon in my fingers. Gemma had walked back over to the table and had looked at me as she answered Wendy, "I am protecting the innocent. If I step on a few toes in the meanwhile so be it."

"Jesus you really believe that don't you?"

Gemma was getting mad and threw down what she had in her hands, turning to face Wendy once more. "So what?" Putting down that needle somehow gives you the right to judge me? You better take a good long look sweetheart, cause you're burning a hole right through the very thing you can't wait to become. Maybe that's why you hate yourself so much." Gemma ranted

As those words came out of her mouth, thoughts of what she had thought of me when she had met me ran through my head. Did she still see me that way? Did others see me that way? Gemma grabbed onto the cross hanging from Wendy's neck. "The sooner you accept that, the sooner you put down this holy crutch. Jesus is just a guy who cuts my lawn."

They continued to stare at each other but, as the seconds ticked by so did the thoughts running through my mind. Without realizing it, I was squeezing the balloon in my hands so hard that a pop rang through my ears bringing me back to reality. They both looked over at me startled and after a moment, I collected my stuff and went running from the house. I didn't stop until I was a couple blocks away and even then I wasn't sure if I wanted to stop but, my heels were killing my feet. I bent over and removed my shoes revealing in the feel of the hot cement under my feet. I hadn't realized that someone had followed me out of the house until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Wendy standing there, out of breath and worry etched on her face. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked a little out of breath.

I looked around uncomfortable, "Listen I know it got intense in there, it was something I should have waited to talk to her about it."

I shook my head, "They told you?"

She pinched her lips together and nodded her head. A long sigh escaped my lips and I looked up the road debating on running again. "It was just hard to hear."

Wendy nodded her head, "Want to get a coffee?" She asked

I smiled accepting her offer and we started to walk towards the café. We were silent at first then Wendy broke the silence. "How long?"

I knew what she was asking, "Only a few years…but, I was bad." I confessed

"I was no better trust me."

"Did she really do what you said?"

"Well, she gave it to me…it was my choice in the end."

I looked down at the ground and tried to process what I was being told. "Do you love him?"

"Who? Jax? Of course I do, I'm not sure if you understand but, I have loved Jax since the first day I meet him. But, I was weak and I took to crank as if it was my safe haven. It pushed us apart but, even without that being there, I don't know if he would have ever gotten over Tara."

"I do understand; I wouldn't give up honestly. If you still love him and want your family back, you need to fight with every breathe you got. No matter if Gemma wants you to or Tara doesn't, you have a right to try…everyone does." I told her thinking on my own dilemmas

If only I would take my own advice. By then we had arrived at the café and just as we went to cross the street, we saw Tara along with some of her co-workers coming out of the coffee shop. I tried to steer us to the ice cream shop down the street but, she wouldn't listen and took off towards her. She was definitely a woman on a mission. Tara said her goodbyes to her coworkers and walked towards us. "Hey you looking for me?" Tara asked once we were in front of her

"Yeah, I need to ask you a question." Wendy said bouncing from foot to foot

Tara looked at us confused, "Sure."

Wendy looked at me for support and said, "Are you with Jax?"

Tara immediately looked caught off guard and looked down at the ground, "I-I-I-I don't know how to answer that."

"Do you love him?"

"I'm not comfortable having this conversation with you."

"I don't give a shit what you're comfortable with. We've spoken over half a dozen times over the past couple days, you don't think you might have mentioned that your sleeping with my husband?"

"Ex-husband." Tara said trying to make the situation seem better

Instead she seemed to make the situation worse. "Two more months before that's official okay? He's my husband and Abel's our son."

"Hey, you need to check into your sober living facility, get some time. If you and Jax are meant to be together, he'll be there when you get out." Tara snapped

I looked at her shocked and I could feel Wendy's body tense beside mine. Tara had struck a nerve, "And where will you be?"

"I have to get back to work." Tara said

Not letting anymore be said, Tara turned away. "She'll never let you be with him! Gemma hates you, she'll do whatever she can to keep you apart. May as well quit while you're ahead…or alive for that matter." Wendy called after her

Tara had turned around and Wendy had started to walk away. I looked at her for a moment more before I shook my head and followed Wendy away from her.

~~SOA~~

I had curled up in Abel's hospital room with him sleeping in my arms, waiting for Jax to come so we could leave with him. "Come on, were going to meet him downstairs." Gemma told me as she got off the phone with him

Tara stood in the room looking either uncomfortable or angry. Whatever it was, I didn't feel sorry for her. Gemma gathered Abel's things and I stood up with Abel in my arms still. Gemma and Tara seemed to stay behind me to talk about what had happened today no doubt. When I rounded the corner I saw Jax and Wendy walking in together. I smiled at them and walked a little quicker to meet them. All discussions ended there and Jax stood beside me to see his son. I looked up at Wendy who was looking between Jax and her son and Tara who stood slightly off to the side. I passed Abel off to Jax when he reached for him. "Hey little man were busting you out of here today." Jax told him

While he was passed off, Abel started to wake up and fuss. Jax bounced him in his arms and shushed him. "Thanks doc." Jax told her

"Yeah, appreciate it." Wendy agreed

"All right let's get this family home." Gemma said purposefully shoving Tara out of the way and guiding us towards the doors

~~SOA~~

The party was a hit and I managed to forget all my troubles even just for a little while. I was standing outside having a smoke when Gemma walked out and handed me some cash. I blew out the smoke in my mouth and took it with a questioning look on my face. "We're running low on beer and food. Go to the corner store and pick up a little more, there is list there to."

I nodded my head, threw my smoke and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I reached around the door and grabbed my bag off of the table and dug my keys out. I slid into my seat and turned the key. I turned up the stereo so that let me live my life by Saint Asonia was playing. It felt nice to be out of there so I took a longer way there and decided on the short way back. I had grabbed everything everyone wanted and was currently waiting at a light when I watched what looked to be Opies truck pull up but, instead of it being Opie in there it was Donna. She noticed me and waved, I smiled back at her, I was glad to see that she was in a better mood. After everything that happened over the last few days she deserved it. That's when it happened...all I could hear was the gunshot and the blood that splattered across the window. Before I knew what I was doing I had abandoned my car and started running towards Opie's truck, screaming for Donna. I had barely noticed when the black SUV came from beside the truck and skidded away. As I watched it go down the road, I swear I noticed a familiar curly black hair. At the moment I couldn't concentrate on anybody but Donna. I opened up the truck door and pulled her out and collapsed onto the road with her in her arms.

I curled her head into my arms, tears staining my face as I pulled her away to look at her. I caressed her face pushing her hair away from her face. "No, no, no. Come on Donna stay with me. Your family is waiting for you; you can't die now." I tried to coax her awake

But, she was far too gone for her to even hear me. I could hear someone running in our direction and someone screaming to call nine one one but, I was numb. All the events of the past few days led up to here. The secrets between Clay and Tig, Opie almost dying today and the curly hair I just saw now. A strangled cry escaped my lips as I held her tight to my own body. I had no idea how long I had actually been there and it wasn't until I was pulled off by Unser that I realized that the cops had even showed up. I struggled against him, I didn't want to leave Donna like that for the world to see. I could hear the bikes in the background and I knew that it was going to get rough. I collapsed into Chibs arms when he reached me and my tears and blood soaked clothing touched his. I could hear Opie cries in the background as he screamed for his dead wife. I closed my eyes and tightened my hands gripping onto Chibs shirt. I could hear another vehicles doors slam shut and I opened my eyes to see that Stahl was exiting the vehicle looking incredibly guilty and shocked at the scene in front of her. It was her fault this happened, it was her fault that the club thought that Opie had turned and it was her fault that an innocent mother and friend lay dead on the road. I pulled myself from Chibs, pushing my way through everybody, walking straight towards her. She barely noticed me, that was until my hand connected with her face. The agent with her went to grab me but, she held up her hand. "This is your fault bitch, I hope you burn in hell for the pain you caused today." I hissed

She didn't say anything back and Chibs had once more grabbed my shoulders and steered me away from the gruesome scene. He kept whispering that everything would be alright and all I could do was allow him to take me away and back to my house.

~~SOA~~

Gemma tried to console me but, I was numb and paid her no mind. I sat outside on the deck waiting and waiting for one man to come. I twirled my phone in my fingers and before long I dialed a number as I waited. As expected he didn't answer but, what was unexpected was when a woman answered the phone. "Hello?"

At first I didn't know what to say or what to feel all I could do was choke out "Is Happy there?"

"No, who is calling?" she asked

It wasn't his mother, I knew that by the voice...it was a young females voice. "Just tell him his brothers need him back...someone died."

That's all I could get out as I hung up. More tears threatened to spill and my stomach started to turn as the bike pulled up into the driveway. Clay stepped off the bike carefully and walked up to me the same way. "What are you doing out here kiddo? It's cold let's get you inside." Clay said as he tried to pull me up

I pulled my arm from him and stood up, "You did it didn't you?" I accused

He looked at me confused so I continued, "You and Tig, you didn't believe him. It's your fault...I saw him Clay...I saw him leave the crime scene. You killed her." I nearly shouted

Clay was quicker than I was and he grabbed onto my arm, pulling me up hard and shoving me against the wall, his finger in my face. "Listen little girl, what I do with the club is none of your business. If you get involved again I will put you down. You saw nothing, you heard nothing and you will speak nothing to another person especially a member of this family."

Pain started to coarse through my back and I bit my lip in an attempt not to cry out. When he saw that I wasn't going to fight back his grip relaxed on me and I pushed myself away from him, running straight to my room. I locked the door and threw my phone against the wall, collapsing to the floor. My breathing was labored and tears dripped down my face onto the floor. I stared at an unopened box that was hiding in my closet. A box I swore I would never touch again.

I stood up grabbing the box from the closet.

Walking back over my bed, I slowly opened it.

Staring right back at me was my last needle and bag.