SPILLED SECRETS
{Hey guys, I'm back. I will be honest with this and say that even though I knew where I wanted to go with this, I actually had quite a bit of trouble writing it, so hopefully this lives up to everyone's expectations. Remember to review, favorite and follow it all means a lot to me. I do not own Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything else you do not recognize.}
A loud bang was pulling me roughly out of my deep sleep. I sat up abruptly from the floor that I had collapsed on. "Savannah! Unlock this door right now! If you don't I will come in there and drag your boney ass out of there!" Gemma's irritated voice screamed through the door.
My eyes grew wide at her threat and I scrambled on my knees to unlock the door. That's when I felt my foot hit something, pushing it away from me. I looked behind me to see the box lying on the floor, the lid halfway open. Beyond that was my phone that was smashed into thousands of pieces. My world seemed to still as memories of the night before flashed across my mind. If possible my eyes grew wider, Gemma's knocking was becoming even more consistent and I ran towards the box. Not even looking at it as I slipped the lid over and threw it into my closet. I stood up and straightened my clothes and hair the best I could and walked quickly to the door. I opened the door to see a fuming Gemma, she shoved past me and into the room. I rolled my eyes and turned to look at her. She stood in my room with her hands firmly placed on her hips. "I have been knocking on that door for thirty minutes you cannot be serious!" She yelled
I put my hand on my forehead, "Jesus Gemma stop with the yelling. What is so important?"
"Do not give me that, it is Dona's wake and you were supposed to be up and helping Jax with Opie. And what are you doing laying in bed sleeping?"
"Shit." I swore hanging my head
"That's right, now get your ass ready for Jax. You have less than an hour."
Gemma stormed right out of the room just as quick as she walked in. I closed the door and pressed my back against it for a moment, letting my thoughts consume me. I looked back over to the closet, the image of that stupid box. A box that I was going to live to regret. "Now!" Gemma's voice rang through the house
I jumped in surprise not thinking that she would yell at me. Without giving another thought I walked straight to the basket that was on my bed full of my clean clothes. I slipped on a wine red long sleeve shirt that dipped low in the front and a flower designed skirt that went just above my hips but, landed just mid thigh. I slipped on a pair of black ankle wedges and were tied up in the front and a zipper on the side. Just as I finished brushing my hair, I could hear Jax's voice as he spoke to Gemma. I looked at myself quickly in the mirror and tried to ignore the horrible complexion I had even with the makeup on.
I grabbed my bag and walked out of my room, making a point to ignore my closet. "Savannah!" Gemma called to me
I closed my eyes as I could feel the oncoming headache coming. "Stop yelling, I'm here."
Both eyes came towards me, Jax's were shocked and Gemma seemed angry. I ignored both looks and walked out of the house straight for Jax's bike. I grabbed the helmet and started to do it up. By the time I was done Jax was standing beside me with an odd look on his face. I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on my hips, "Don't give me that look, I have been listening to her yelling all day and my head hurts."
Jax snorted a little and hoped on the bike. I smiled back and climbed on after him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
~~SOA~~
I had been at Opie's all day, helping out with the wake and in all honesty trying not to spaz on every person that gave their condolences to Opie. Even he was getting sick of it in the end. I told him to go relax for a few minutes and I would put his kids to bed. I made a slow incline up the stairs while I dried my hands from the dishes I just finished. I opened Kenny's door first and peaked in. When I didn't see him in there I went to Ellie's room and looked in there as well. My eyebrows scrunched together as I realized that they weren't in her room either. There was only one other room they could be in. I turned around and walked down the hall towards Donna and Opie's room. I creaked open the door but, Kenny's small voice came through the door before I could finish opening it all the way. "Ellie…is mommy gone forever."
She stayed silent for a moment, I knew this question was hard especially since she was only nine and he only seven. "I don't know."
"What happens now?"
"We stick together."
It was then that I could hear his cries. He hadn't cried all day, it's been Ellie all day. It was actually starting to worry me. I knocked timidly on the door and opened the door hesitantly. They were locked in arms with Kenny curled up to his sister, both with a tear streaked face. Even though I had only known them for a few months now, it broke my heart that because of my father they would never grow up with a mother. I knew their pain and it was making it so much worse to look at them. Ellie sniffled and asked, "Where is daddy?"
I looked behind me before I walked in and closed the door. I started walking hesitantly towards the counter before I asked, "He is just getting ready to come to bed. Do you mind if I join you for a moment?"
They looked at each other before they pulled apart from each other, giving me enough room to move in-between them. Once I laid in-between them I pulled each of them into my side and held onto them tight, giving each of them a kiss on the forehead. "Can I tell you a secret?"
They both looked up at me with their tear stained faces. I held them closer to my body and I told them "I lost my mother to and when I was very young."
"What happened?" Kenny asked
Ellie smacked her brothers arm, "You don't ask her that!" she snapped
"Now Ellie, that wasn't very nice. My mom was very sick Kenny and there was no way the doctors could fix her. So an angel came and held her close as she took her up to heaven. Just like your mommy."
They were quiet for a few minutes, "Were you there? Daddy says you were?" Ellie asked
I could feel the tears pulling at the corners of my face and I bite the inside of my cheek before I answered. The feelings of me holding Donna once more to my body came to mind. "Yes babies I was."
"Was she in pain?" Kenny asked more tears springing to his eyes
A few tears started to slip down my face and I tried to blink them away unsuccessfully. "Of course not baby, she didn't feel anything. In fact, she gave me a message to tell you. She said that she loves you very, very much and that she wants you to protect and love and look after each other. To love your dad and make sure he is always smiling. Can you do that for your mom?"
Instead of answer, they both broke out in loud sobs and clung to me even harder. I pulled them into me and laid my head on both of theirs, trying to hide my own tears. I couldn't imagine this happening to my baby girl. I watched Donna die and I couldn't do anything to save her. Now her kids are left motherless and Opie is left alone and without a wife. My heart was breaking for each of them. The only thing I knew to do in this situation was to sing and hope that they took comfort in it like I did when I lost my mother. "Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
Cause everyday its sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good
To have the weight of this world
Off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day
When I'm finally there with you
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Save a place for me, save some grace for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answers for another time
So instead Ill pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
So you just save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Save a place for me, save some grace for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there
I wanna live my just like you did
And make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did, oh, but until I get there
Until I get there
Just save a place for me, save a place for me
Cause I will be there soon
Save a place for me, save a place for me
I'll be there soon, I'll be there soon
Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad."
Once I was done I had looked down to see that they both had fallen asleep. I carefully detangled myself from their arms and walked quietly to the door. As I walked out and closed the door I saw Opie sitting against the wall with his hands in his head. I bent over to and held him to as his shoulders shook. I knew that speaking to a man with as much pride as Op would ruin this moment. This was a moment he needed so anything I thought I would keep to myself. He eventually pulled away from me and gave me a tired but thankful smile. "Even though I know that she didn't say that…thank you for that. They needed that…I needed that."
I breathed a sigh of relief "Of course Op but, I really didn't do anything. You are all in pain and you need all the help you can get right? I know what it's like and to be honest I needed a little of that to."
Opie ran his hands through his hair before he stood up, pulling me with him. He gave me a hug before he rustled up my hair, "There is someone waiting for you outside. I think he is going to bring you home."
I looked at him confused but gave him one last hug and kiss before I went outside curiously. My curiosity disappeared as I saw him with his rugged handsome looks. As my heart leapt to know that he was home, it was harder to see him because last night immediately came to mind. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and crossed my arms glaring at him, "What are you doing here? Finally decided I was worth talking to?"
"You know that wasn't how it was." He tried to defend himself
But, I wasn't having any of it, "It was a phone call Hap, I'm sure your mother wouldn't have mind especially while she slept considering I was more than patient to wait till whatever time. Or maybe you were too busy to even think about me? Occupied by something else?"
Happy looked at me confused and stood up from his bike. When he took a step towards me, I took a step back and a low growl escaped his throat. "What is your problem?"
"My problem? My problem is that you promised we were okay, you said you would come home. What do I find flowers? God damn flowers! Then as I sit by the phone waiting patiently for you to answer or call me back, I still got nothing. Even as all this shit is going down, were I needed you, where were you? Ignoring me and fucking some bimbo that by the way answered your phone on the worst night possible!" I shouted at him
He seemed to mull over my words before he took a step back to look over me. "Girl I don't know what you're talking about but, there has been no girl I have touched since you."
"Don't even, I don't want to hear the lies anymore Hap. I bet you're not even here for me, I bet you're here because Clay called you because that's what you are. You're his dog. God dammit Happy you're so loyal to this club that you are blind to everything else going on around you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have done what I did!"
Happy's eyes turned dark and he took a few steps towards me. I knew it was coming, I pushed his buttons. I didn't move and life seemed to slow down as I waited for what was going to happen. "What's going on?" A gruff voice asked from the door
Happy stopped short of me and I turned around to see that Opie was standing in the doorway. He was obviously trying to figure out what was going on between us. "Hey bro." Happy said plainly
An awkward silence settled between all of us, it was Happy's phone going off that disrupted it. I glared at him as he looked at it. His face tightened and his eye flickered up to me for a second before he opened his phone, "Yeah?"
I rolled my eyes and tapped my foot impatiently on the ground. My emotions were starting to get the better of me. Happy listened for a moment, "Yeah, I'll be right there just gotta drop Savannah off." He replied through the phone
I scoffed and turned around, "Don't even bother."
With that I walked away not even giving him the chance to reply. Opie stepped aside, letting me through but moved straight back to the doorway. I don't know what happened from there as I went straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of water for my dry mouth. It wasn't long before I heard Opie close the door and I just hoped that he hadn't let Happy in. I heard keys jingle and I turned around to face Opie who was handing me a set of keys. I grabbed them hesitantly. "I'm not going to ask what that was about that's your life. Happy said that your car was brought in to the yard by Gemma and she is still there. Take the car and come back with it tomorrow…I won't be using it for a while."
I could see the sadness in his eyes. That car was the last place he saw his wife alive and it was all my dad's fault. I stared at the keys that he was offering me the guilt overwhelming me. I wanted to tell him but, even as I opened my mouth the words froze as my mind wandered to the back to the threat Clay spoke to me last night. I closed my mouth and smiled at him, "Thank you. I'll come back tomorrow with it, make sure you and the kids are doing okay?"
We gave each other one last hug before we departed. I watched him standing in the doorway through the rear-view mirror. A couple tears sliding down my face as my eyes slid back to the road.
~~SOA~~
I pulled up to TM and parked Opie's car beside mine. I had started walking straight to my car without really thinking about anything besides my unexpected meeting with Happy. I was just placing my keys in my car door when the thought dawned on me that I could get one of the boys to drive Opie's car back to him. That way I would avoid another run in with Happy until I could at least get my head on straight. I pulled my keys out and walked over to the bar doors. The doors were slightly ajar so I started to push it open, that was until Jax's voice reached my ears, "What's the matter?"
"The info on that witness just came out. She's a seventeen-year-old girl Jax." Juices sullen voice came after
I felt goose bumps immediately rise on my skin. Were they talking about the witness who placed Bobby and Opie at the murder scene. A moment of silence passed until Jax muttered under his breath, "Holy shit, where are they?"
I was frozen to the spot, was that where Happy was called out to? Rustling could be heard before Clay spoke up, "What are you doing? Jax where the hell you going?"
I could hear footsteps coming towards the door, "Jax!" Clay yelled when he got no answer out of Jax
Jax footsteps stopped abruptly and he yelled back, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to save her!"
"Jax think about what you're doing!" Clay yelled back at him
Jax didn't say anything and started to walk towards the door again. I was to angry for the rational side of my brain to tell me to move and hide. I was beyond mad by the time Jax pulled open the door, I was furious. He looked at me shocked and so did Juice and Clay. "What are you doing here?" Jax asked shocked
My eyes locked on my dad's "Is that where Happy is?"
Jax looked behind him to Clay who seemed to be assessing the situation carefully. When I received no answer my hands clenched hard at my sides and I yelled, "Answer me!"
Jax took a step back "Yeah."
That's all it took and I had already spun around on my heel and stomped towards my car. I could faintly hear Jax yelling at me to stop. It wasn't until his hands encircled my wrist, did I stop. I whirled around on him and shouted, "What do you want! Let me go!"
Jax let go of my wrist and grabbed onto my shoulders, "What do you think you're going to do?"
"I'm going to go stop him that's what!"
I was shaking by now and Jax tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke to me. "Not that I don't understand why you are so mad but, why are you more upset when you found out Happy was involved?"
I shoved him off me and took a few steps back. "Because I have a daughter to! One that will eventually be that age! What if that was her, scared and alone and on top of it has how many bikers trying to kill her! That's why Jax because that could be my baby girl and he would be killing her like it was nothing because the club asked because that is his fucking job!" I screamed
This was not how I wanted my daughter to be introduced but, it slipped out. I was to mad to care at that moment in time. Confusion crossed his face and a sigh escaped my lips as I buried my hand into my hair. "I won't just sit by and wait this time Jax, I just won't." I spoke quieter this time
Jax's jaw tightened and he walked over to my side. "How did you suppose you were going to find him?"
An exasperated chuckle bubbled out of my throat and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Follow me but, on two conditions. One Clay never finds out and second you stay outside I will send him out to you."
All I could do was nod my head and Jax kissed the top of my head before he headed to his bike. I finally unclenched my fingers while I walked back to my car. As soon as I sat in the car, I looked down at my hands and the cuts the keys made in them. I hadn't been so angry in so long and it almost scared me at how angry I had just got. I shook my head and placed my hands on the wheel I placed the keys into the ignition and followed Jax.
We drove for a while until we landed in front of house that was mixed among others. But, seemed rather quiet and secluded. Jax got off his bike and pointed one finger at me and motioned to the ground with it. I knew to stay put and to be honest I knew that if I walked into that house as angry as I was no good would come of it. No I had a better idea and I didn't give two hoots if Happy got mad or not. I tapped my finger impatiently on the wheel and waited for Happy. After a good ten minutes he came sauntering outside and walked to my vehicle. As he tried to open the door I pressed the button down to lock it.
I could almost feel the anger radiate off of him as he bent over and tapped on my window. I rolled the window down just a little but, didn't bother to look at him. "Get on your bike and follow me. Do not ask a single question and do not make me come back for you."
"Who the hell do you think your-"he started to speak
"Happy…I will not repeat myself. If you want anything to do with me, you will follow me."
I didn't wait for his reply and I rolled up the window. He pushed his hands rather hard off the roof of my car but, he did what he was told and walked towards his bike. I waited until he started up the bike before I pulled off and drove to my destination.
~~SOA~~
I drove faster than him trying to beat him to my destination but, not lose him at the same time. I was glad when I didn't see either of Gemma's or Clays vehicles in the driveway. I got out quickly and slammed my door heading straight for the front door of my house. I could hear him cut the engine to his bike as I opened the door. I ignored his shouts for me to wait and walked towards my bedroom. I ripped open my closet door and stared hard at the box I had thrown in there earlier this morning. The front door of the house slammed shut and I reached down and grabbed the box and walked over to my pillow ripping a photo of - out of it and at that exact moment Happy came through my door, slamming the door shut. His eyes were black, I knew he was teetering on the edge and I knew what I was about to do was going to be what pushed his very last button. "What game do you think you are playing here huh? First you want nothing to do with me and now your dragging me back here and for what!"
"For this!" I shouted as I through the box on the ground, its contents spilling everywhere.
He looked down at the box that had exploded all over the floor, with my one needle and bag that I hadn't used. If it was even possible his eyes turned darker and a threatening growl echoed around the room. He took a step towards me and I hoped onto my bed to get a higher ground over him. "Are you seriously back into this? Do you not ever learn! Is this why you have been acting the way you are today?" He started to shout
I didn't blame him for thinking that after all for all he knew there was more than just that in there to begin with. But I had the upper hand and I was going to keep it that way. "When you watch someone you knew get shot in from of you and that you figure out that the man that created you was behind it because he couldn't wait to find out who the witness was for sure. So guess what I do, once more I try to call the one man that said he would be there knowing full well he wouldn't answer but this time the phone was picked up. But not by him instead some bitch answers the phone not his mom but some piece of ass!"
Happy backed off finally, his anger dissipating with all the information that was just given to him. I don't know what shocked him more but I was far from done. "So yes I kept this as a reminder of what my life was like and that night I turned to it for the comfort that I used to get from it," I continued on in a calmer voice. I held out the photo of - for him to see. "That was until I remembered this little girl...my little girl that has been waiting for her mama to come get her like the millions of promises that have been made to her. This is my little girl just like Donna and that girl you were going to kill tonight. They were someone's little girl to."
{I know for those who have been waiting for my updates are probably getting impatient with me. The two chapters I have waiting to be posted need to be reviewed before I post them so keep an eye out over the next couple days.}
